Read This: "Pride And Prejudice And Zombies" by Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith

Can we agree that Jane Austen's Pride And Prejudice is one of the greatest books of all time? (We can't? I'm not sure we can be friends anymore...) The Regency-era romance is a chick-lit classic, a Brit-lit staple and for more a than a few girls (and boys,) a constant re-read. I've seen both of the major filmed adaptions, the 5-hour miniseries featuring Colin Firth (in a bathtub, no less!) and the more recent version with Keira Knightley as heroine Elizabeth Bennett. I've also seen the bouncy and brightly colored spectacle that is the Bollywood version, Bride & Prejudice. The story lends itself to film very well, but can the main story actually be improved in print? If you add zombies, it can.

In Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a parody/homage/adaptation of the Austen's most-loved novel, the plot remains virtually identical to the source material. Mrs. Bennett is still trying to marry off her five daughters, Mr. Darcy is still so proud and Jane and Mr. Bingley are still star crossed lovers for a good part of the story. Even some of the dialogue remains the same. The difference? England is besieged by zombies (referred to in turn as unmentionables or Satan's army) and the Bennett sisters trained with their father in the east on martial arts to fend off attacking brain-eaters.

Lizzy remains a model of the strong young woman, not just resistant to the allures of an easy marriage to her unattractive and obnoxious cousin Mr Collins but also a strong fighter, taking down zombies with guns, swords and her bare hands. When she meets Lady Catherine De Bourgh, the greatest warrior Britain has ever known, she spars with her troop of ninjas before sparring verbally with her.

The scene where Elizabeth rejects Darcy is probably one of the most delicious reworkings in the book. The dialogue is almost lifted verbatim from the original text, but spoken during a heated fight. The mind swims with the theatrical possibilities. And the tweaking results in a hilarious twist on Lydia's marriage, while the story of the Collins's is quite sweet and sad.

It's a fast-paced horror/romance hybrid with all the regency era niceties mixed in with the gory brain-eating. I highly recommend it, even if your not an Austen fan like me.

A trailer for the follow-up novel, Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters:

Trashy Thursdays: "Evacuate The Dancefloor" - Cascada

Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday (duh) and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works that are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!

Remember when Cascada came out of nowhere (actually, Germany) to take over pop radio with the trashiest euro-pop single ever? "Everytime We Touch" was the slickest, most synthetic and crazy-dancable single to hit the airwaves in 2006. The band squeezed out another hit, a cover of country ballad "What Hurts The Most", in 2008.

Now they are back with another bit of trash for the disco ducks in the clubs. "Evacuate The Dancefloor" is the title track of their recent release and it rips off the beat, style and melodic sequence of Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" so perfectly I could swear that a copyright claim should have been filed. The only reason I don't hate it? Because the chorus is catchy as fuck!

After a few listens I find myself randomly singing out "Evacuate The Dancefloor!" at inappropriate times. Also, "stop, this beat is killing me!" You'd think I was being murdered by club kids after an ElectroQueer show.

Adam Lambert's New Album Cover Is Extra Fabulous

Doesn't Adam look loverly on the cover of his new album? It's so very glamorous, the flossy flossy. My favorite part is the blue and black hair, but the tasteful gauged sparkle earrings and the chains hanging from the fingerless gloves are also very prettiful. I also rather enjoy the outerspace background, Chart Rigger notes it's possibly a tribute to Blake Lewis's first album. Damn all these beautiful girls...

Also: is he naked? If so... mmmmmmmmmmmm.....

9 Things About The New Britney Single & Singles Collection

Britney dropped a naughty new single a few weeks ago in prep for a new singles collection. These are the things you need to know:

1: The song is called "3"

2: It was co-written by longtime Britney Spears collaborator Max Martin, writer of "...Baby, One More Time," "Oops... I Did It Again" and "If U Seek Amy"


3: Yes, it's about three-ways.

4: Peter, Paul & Mary are mentioned in the chorus. The folk trio have never admited to having a threeway. Mary Travers, lone female member of the group, passed away September 16 - thirteen days before "3" was released to radio. That gives her ample time to roll over in her grave.

5: "3" will be included as the only newly recorded track for The Singles Collection. This is the second hits package from Britney.

6: "3" debuted at number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100, the first time a single has done so since Taylor Hicks' "Do I Make You Proud?" in 2006.

7: Britney's first hits package, Greatest Hits: My Perogative, included two new singles, "My Perogative" and "Do Somethin'" Neither single is included on the regular The Singles Collection.

8: The Singles Collection Box Set will include all 29 singles and a b-side or remix for each. I want it.

9: The box set also includes a DVD of 26 of Britney's videos, including the shitty ones. "Boys" is missing, and the fans are PISSED.

Now you know. And knowledge is power.

Why Did No One Tell Me Taylor Swift Did A Duet With Boys Like Girls?

Rude! I'd heard this beautifully slow burning duet on the radio the last week or so but the DJs never identified it. I kinda thought it might be Taylor Swift, but since I'd bought her last album and the song wasn't on it I figured I was wrong.

I was not wrong! (OK, I was wrong about being wrong, but that doesn't count.) My girl T-squeezy recorded a duet with emo-pop band Boys Like Girls for there latest disc Love Drunk, the lead single and title track of which is pretty hot. Not hot enough to provoke me into buying the album, which was a mistake because "Two Is Better Than One" is the shiz-nitty.

I love slow burning love ballads, they start cool and slow then rise in a spiral of crazy theatrics. And when it's a duet between one of the hottest young country starlets and a vocalist who can do great things (but oftimes fails, see "Thunder") it's epic. The soft guitar, the strings, Taylor's female vocal matching pace with lead singer Martin Johnson's, it like a poppier version of the duet from Once.

It's really brilliant, I almost thought it was a single from a new film soundtrack or something. Listen:

Why You Need To Visit Owl City And Gather Some "Fireflies"

When I first heard Owl City's bubbly single "Fireflies" on my local radio station a few weeks ago, I wasn't sure if I liked it. The electronic sound is so sweet and cuddly, the lyrics so random and adorable it almost seems too cute for it's own good.

But the more I heard it, the more I liked the fact that it was so unique, so fresh and different from the sounds I'd been hearing on the radio. That's what I want from a radio station - a mix of new stuff I haven't heard before, not seventeen clones of the same slutty pop star and 12 versions of the same rap brag over an electro beat I've heard twenty times before. Literally, I have never heard music quite like this, electronic yet restrained. It sounds like the soundtrack to a dream, which is strange since Owl City's Adam Young suffers from insomnia.

I love the strings, the bubbly beat, the fact that a song called "Fireflies" is actually about fireflies. Oh, and Matthew Thiessen from my favorite band Relient K adds some vocals. It's a ridiculous pop song, but so new and amazing. I never want to stop hearing it. Listen:

Owl City - Fireflies
by UniversalMusicGroup

I just downloaded the full album, expect a full review. Can the one-man electro band hold up this level of strange quality for 14 tracks? We'll see.

Trashy Thursdays: Miley Cyrus - "Party In The USA"

Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday (duh) and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!

Ok, I'mma be honest here. I HATED this song when it first came out. I still kinda do, but after the flaccid melody and trite lyrics of "The Climb" any Miley Cyrus single is bound to be an improvement.

Miley was born to make trashy pop, the spawn of country flash-in-the-pan Billy Ray Cyrus has been a child star for a few years before churning out of trash-pop's greatest songs "See You Again." Every crap-tastic single that has followed has paled before that piece of surf-guitar-meets-Kylie-electro-pop brilliance that crashed over me in spring '08. And "Party In The USA" was destined to be merely an annoyingly catchy follow-up to the horrors of "Fly On The Wall."

That is, until the gays got a hold of it. Once a couple of Fire Island boys pop your CD in and start lipsynching on the beach, you have arrived. You are a goddess of trashy pop music; the paragon of all things tacky, yet refined. Miley, I salute you. And to the uninitiated, I present the masterpiece of YouTube: "Party In The FIP"

Review: Blake Lewis - "Heartbreak On Vinyl"

I gotta feeling (woo hoo) that the back half of 2009 is gonna be good one for electronic music. From the electro-washed singles from The Black Eyed Peas' latest to a revamped The Fame Monster from our Lady of perpetual Gaga and recent singles from Cascade and David Guetta making a dent at radio, this is the year the dancefloor takes over the world. And Blake Lewis's sophomore project on famed dance label Tommy Boy records is primed to add to the frenzy.

Heartbreak On Vinyl continues a fine trend on titling started by Kanye (808s & Heartbreaks) and continued by Brooke White (High Hopes & Heartbreaks) but it's the music that has me excited. The title track opens the disc with a bang, a distinctly '80s throwback ala Pet Shop Boys with a hot beat and keyboard tones. Following that is "Binary Love" a more futuristic robot pop song with a heavy electronic sound. Lead single "Sad Song" sounds a lot like Blake's previous album Audio Day Dream, one of the few songs that have that distinction. This is more grown-up techno, featuring more risque lyrics and more club-ready beats that that prior American Idol-sanctioned release.

From the S&M themed "Love Or Torture (Please Don't Stop)" to the ode to dirty dancing "Freak" this is the Blake that fans knew was hiding behind the 19 Entertainment white wash. And it's not just the lyrics that have matured, the sound is very hip-hop meets techno with a little of the beatboxing that earned him his Idol fanbase. But not all is nasty freaky dancefloor getdowns, "The Point" is a beautifully chilled out ballad with acoustic guitars and a male choir that intermingles with the electronic sounds. And I really enjoyed way Blake incorporates musical talk into a lot of the lyrics. For a muso like me, it's really cool.

If you enjoy fresh techno sounds, this is the second best album of the year.

I'm Back! And So Are The Idols!

What better way to tempt me into returning to the blogosphere than new singles from the American Idols '09? Alison Iraheta, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen all have new shit to smear in my ear and I'm loving it!

First, my girl Alison worked with Pink/Kelly Clarkson/Britney Spears producer Max Martin like all good pop stars should. Seriously, if you don't love at least four of the Swedish mastermind's compositions you probably hate music. PopEater had the premiere of "Friday I'll Be Over U" which is a stunner of a pop rock track.

Sounding like the love child of Santigold and P!nk, Alison tears into the electronicly enhanced rock chorus that is a tribute of sorts to The Cure's "Friday I'm In Love." While her vocals are somewhat tamed from the rock animal that we heard on the show, this is the perfect vehicle to get her into the heads of non-Idol fans. Catchy as hell, I give it a major thumbs up! Available on iTunes tomorrow.


Second, the Glam One, Adam Lambert provides a power ballad to the soundtrack of new disaster flick 2012. "Time For Miracles" is getting a lot of comparisons to Aerosmith's "Don't Want To Miss A Thing" which is somewhat valid. Not since Steven Tyler have we had a male singer so committed to bombastic vocals. But the over-use of strings as the track builds is what really makes it sound so much like the Armageddon track. And while I would prefer something a little less cheesy as the introduction Adam makes to the non-Idol watching crowd, I have to say "Time For Miracles" does not downplay any of his strengths and is also catchy as hell. Listen here. Video premieres before screenings of "Micheal Jackson's This Is It", single available October 27.

Third, Idol winner Kris Allen releases his single "Live Like We're Dying." That title sounds like every Switchfoot song ever, but the song itself has a strangly funky beat. A rock piano line takes center stage, with really strong drums and ultra-inspirational lyrics. The lyrics remind me of "Seasons Of Love" from Rent or any number of Fray or Nickleback singles. It's all about living in the moment, telling people we love them because this could be our last moment. It could be smaltzy with the wrong musical background, but the upbeat sound keeps it fresh and cool. I am pleasantly surprised. The single is currently available on iTunes.



And as a bonus, Kris covering Britney Spears at an all-girls high school breast cancer event. It's magical...