Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Idol Recap! Girls, Girls, Girls

I have to admit something. I was going to pretend missing all the audition and Hollywood episodes was a calculated decision, intended to give me a fresh perspective on the top 24 without knowing the back stories or what ten second clip we saw of them singing a Stevie Wonder song. But I will come clean. I've been busy with church, gym and my sexykins and Idol wasn't a priority.

I KNOW, RIGHT? What the fuck was I thinking, that I could walk away from Simon and Ryan's gay-baiting and the melisma of 17-year-olds who think Mariah Carey invented music? Pshaw! I live for this shit. So I'm back in the game, babies!

The first hot mass to step onto the little stage is Paige Miles, a 24-year-old teacher with a thing for loose-knit berets. So sad. Apparently Simon thinks she has one of the best voices, not that anyone could tell after she sang the non-song "All Right Now." Seriously, a four-year-old boy could do a duet with his house cat and sound pretty good doing this song. Why waste what seems to be a decent voice on such a non-entity?

At least she didn't attempt Leona Lewis, like Ashley Rodriguez did. "Happy" isn't quite a forbidden song like "Bleeding Love" would be, but poor Ashley couldn't hold the tune any better than she could hold her mic. She had it way too close to her face, and every breathe just puffed out of my speakers. At least it saved me from hearing one of Leona's minor singles turned into mush.

Ooh, I do love me some Heart. I love me some Shania Twain. Shania loves her some Janell Wheeler, so I expected it to be a love quadrangle. Not so much. When Janell started the verse, I thought her slight accent would give "What About Love" a country ballad sound. Instead, she couldn't power through the chorus and gave a weak karaoke vocal.

OK, I'm all about this influx of British soulful singer-songwriters that have been popping up in the US, so I was really feeling Lilly Scott's performance. Randy hit the nail on the head (for once) - Lilly isn't just copping a Duffy vibe, she seems the genuine article. And covering an obscure Beatles song with her warm and unique vocal, guitar in hand, was a great intro for the Colorado singer.

Katelynn Epperly brought a 50s rock vibe to the stage with her song, but her look was a bit 80s. And while her vocals were powerful, her song seemed really boring as it went on. I hope to see a different side of her soon, she seems like she could grow on me.

Young Haeley Vaughn looked like a Disney girl with her perma-smile glued to her face while singing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." She didn't sound any better, her vocals lacked any spice or verve.

Apparently I'm in the minority on Lacey Brown, the judges majorly disliked her unique vocals coloring Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." I thought she showed a lot of control, vocally, and reminded me of Cyndi Lauper.

Michelle Delamore's version of "Fallin'" was a very professional, almost perfect, cover. But there was no uniqueness or risk involved, it sounded perfectly pleasant but nothing exciting.

Didi Benami pulled Ingrid Michealson's pretty yet quiet Old Navy commercial "The Way I Am" onto the stage and put the crowd to sleep. I love some Ingrid, but there is no way to make that song a showpiece. Plus, her last name sounds like a certain gay porn site. (NSFW) FAIL.

I like Siobhan Magnus. I just do. Her voice is spooky and has a delicious dark edge to it. "Wicked Game" was a perfect song to showcase it, despite the judges creaming their collective trousers over some Stevie Wonder song she tackled before. I don't want to fall in love, either, but Siobhan has me over a barrel.

I hate harmonicas. I have always hated harmonicas, that is why I hate Stevie Wonder's appearances at any awards shows. Crystal Bowersox almost made me forget that. She played both the mouth harp and guitar while covering Alanis and I kinda dug it. Even though Crystal seemed to be very anti-Idol, she fits into that faux-rebel thing that Idol loves.

Closing the show was 17-year-old Katie Steves doing the jazz standard that has landed on the Idol stage so many times before. "Feelin' Good" should be retired, but every young pup trying to sound timeless drags the old chestnut out. It's a great song, but once Nina Simone, Micheal Buble, Muse and the Pussycat Dolls have sung it, it's time to give it up. Great vocals, old-fashioned performance. Her brother's cute, though.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Mariah Carey Presents The Greatest Break Up Metaphor Ever

Since the bomb that was Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel failed to yield more than one hit, Mariah is back at it with a remix album called Angel's Advocate. It doesn't have a release date (and may never in this economy) but it does have a video! Nicki Minaj from the Young Money crew brings some serious sass and British accents to the new single "Up Out My Face" and the video is amazing!

The ladies dress as Barbies/blow up dolls in nurse's costumes and furs with a red Target commercial theme. But it's the little things that make it amazing, like when Mariah trips or the blond wig Nicki sports. And the song is great fun, including this gem of a break up line: "If we were two Lego block not even the Harvard graduating class of 2010 could put us back together again." LOL.