Pictures & Conversations

Soundtrack Of The Day [Freshness Edition]: "Safe And Sound" - Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars

2012-01-31T07:30:00.000-05:00

First off, let me just say I don't know what the fuck is going on in this trailer for The Hunger Games. I've not read the books so I don't know why Nazi Germany hired Dolores Umbridge's little sister and some bit rate storm troopers to train children to play Rollerball or whatever is going on. Don't worry, it'll be just like "Twilight" and I'll catch up on all the books after everyone else in the world has already read them.

Anyway, this is a music post and so we must get to the song! Taylor Swift should really hook up with The Civil Wars more often, or at least not always sing about some boy that broke her pretty blonde heart. This song is so lovely, so uplifting with such beautiful harmonies and a haunting melody. I love Taylor's music normally, but this is whole 'nother level. Also on another level? Her February Vogue cover. She is giving me Carly Simon realness here, and I am living for it.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "When In Rome" - Nickel Creek

2012-01-30T07:30:00.000-05:00

I like to think of myself as a person with broad taste. I like all kinds of music from Euro club tracks to doo wop to power ballads. I love it when genre get mangled together like musical gumbo. But I surprised myself by really digging Nickel Creek's blend of classic bluegrass instruments and alternative rock song structures. "When In Rome" never really decides if it's bluegrass or country or alt-country or alternative rock. And I like that a lot. Plus that mandolin player Chris Thile is smoking hot. Never said that about a mandolin player before.

Soundtrack Of The Day [Freshness Edition]: "Get Sleazy 2.0 (Get Sleazier)" - Ke$ha ft Wiz Khalifa, Andre 3000, T.I. & Lil Wayne

2012-01-29T21:48:00.002-05:00

Ke$ha is working on her sophomore full length album but since releasing her debut Animal she's popped out an EP and a remix disc. "Sleazy" was one of the highlights of the Cannibal EP and "The Sleazy Remix" (which featured Andre 3000) was a highlight of I Am The Dance Commander... And I Command You To Dance. So when another rap remix of "Sleazy" released I was a little sleazed out. But this video, which features drag queens, old men and Pedro (of Vote For Pedro fame) lipsyncing for their lives to the ratatat rapping over the dumdum drums I found a new appreciation for the long game of the sleaziest lady we know. Get sleazy, miss lady. Get sleazy.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Innocente (Falling In Love)" - Delerium ft. Leigh Nash

2012-01-27T09:00:00.000-05:00

I just discovered this song, which appeared on Delerium's greatest hits album 3 years ago. I have always really enjoyed Leigh Nash's vocals with Sixpence None The Richer, her voice is unique in it's childlike tone. It is great to hear it with a chill dance sound, which is not such a stretch after so much dreamy pop music like "Kiss Me" and "Breathe Your Name."

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Fancy" - Reba McEntire

2012-01-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

Today is my sister Rachel's birthday and in honor of the day I have chosen a song that we both love. I took Rachel to see Reba when she was touring with Kelly Clarkson, we both loved it.

"Fancy" is a tale of a young woman whose mother sends her off to be "nice to the gentlemen" in order to avoid a life of poverty. It's not sad, in fact it's defiant. In the end we see the quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet: "To thine own self be true." It's a quote that Rachel has tattooed on her wrist and the one we should all have tattooed on our minds and hearts. I might have been born poor white trash but Fancy was my name...

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Anne" - Santigold

2012-01-25T09:30:00.000-05:00

This song has been stuck in my head for a couple of days now. I really enjoyed Santi's first album and had high hopes for the next one. I don't know how I feel about the single that was just released, but I do know "Anne" is pretty cool. "My name is Anne, I have a plan. I may lack virtue but I'm penitent."

Soundtrack Of The Day (FRESHNESS EDITION): "Stupid Hoe" - Nicki Minaj

2012-01-24T11:59:00.000-05:00

Nicki Minaj was THE breakout artist of the last year. Pink Friday finally hit number one; "Super Bass", "Moment 4 Life" and "Fly" were everywhere, as were her guest spots on singles by Sean Kingston, Big Sean, Birdman and others. She comes back with a new album performed by her alter-ego Roman Zolanski, and "Stupid Hoe" is the second song and first video to be released from Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded.

I wanted to love it. Roman was responsible for some of the best rhymes Nicki has done, from "Roman's Revenge" to the guest rap on "Bottoms Up." And the rap isn't bad, even though the use of "hoe" is tired and slightly misogynistic. However that epitaph is nothing compared to Hype Williams' awful sexist direction on the video.

If it had just been a video ~~ripping off~~ giving homage to Lady Gaga's giant eyes, Jessie J's oversized chair, Shakira's cage dancing and Grace Jones' stretch pose I would have been amused. But I am disgusted by the naked large bootied Barbie-style doll that doesn't even show her head (Junior talked about this misogynistic trend a few years back) and Nicki's utterly joyless stripper dancing. I don't have a beef with strippers or ladies who want to shake what their momma gave them. But when they don't even seem to enjoy what they are doing, then it's not sexy, it's sad.

Nicki is a brilliant rapper, miles ahead of her competition. She doesn't need to resort to the tacky flesh market moves of the average rap video. She should be doing videos like many of OutKast's and Kanye's clips, visual insanity that matches her talent. She isn't a stupid hoe, she shouldn't sell herself short like one.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Tears Dry (Original Version)" - Amy Winehouse

2012-01-23T20:47:00.000-05:00

I recently purchased Amy Winehouse's posthumous record Lioness: Hidden Treasures. It features some never before heard songs as well as alternate takes of her singles. I featured "Like Smoke" last week, and I can't stop digging into the late Ms. Winehouse's catalog and missing her.

"Tears Dry On Their Own" was one of the more upbeat tracks from Amy's breakthrough Back To Black, and one of my favorites. The album mix features a sample of "Ain't No Mountain" for the beat, but it was originally called "Darkness" and was a slow, sad ballad. That version makes an appearance on Lioness, and it's beautiful and haunting.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Down From Dover" - Dolly Parton

2012-01-22T09:44:00.001-05:00

Since I missed the chance to wish Ms. Dolly a Happy Birthday on Thursday, I figured I would do so today. Happy Belated Birthday! In honor of the Queen of Country, I figured I would post one of my favorite Dolly songs. "Down From Dover" is an incredibly sad story song about an unmarried pregnant woman longing for the return of the child's father. Each verse the longing gets more frantic, until she finally gives birth in the tragic finale.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Working For The Weekend" - Loverboy

2012-01-20T09:30:00.000-05:00

In case you didn't know, I work retail. Which means I don't get weekends off hardly ever because someone has to man the store while the rest of the 9-to-5ers shop til they drop. Remember that, kids. When the line is long for the register and you're freaking out because you have better things to do, remember I do to. But I have to be there to serve you and the 580 other people who need shoes on a Saturday afternoon.But this weekend, I get a Saturday off! Hooray? I still have to work Sunday, so I'm not really working for the weekend. In fact next Tuesday and Wednesday I have off, I guess that is the "weekend" I'll be working for...

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Mississippi Goddam" - Nina Simone

2012-01-19T07:15:00.000-05:00

I have been quite obsessed with Nina Simone for the last couple of years, after hearing her haunting version of "Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair." Her voice is deep and throaty yet warm and her arrangements of jazz and pop classics were innovative and captivating. Most people probably know her from her version of "Feeling Good" - which is the basis for most modern versions, or other jazz standards like "My Baby Just Cares For Me."

But Nina got political after the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama left schoolchildren dead and a KKK member murdered Medgar Evens in Mississippi in 1963. While "Mississippi Goddam" doesn't have the subtle meditations on race in America that her later song "Four Women" does or the joy of "To Be Young, Gifted and Black," it has a heat and an anger that Nina would also channel into covers of "Pirate Jenny" and "Strange Fruit."

This isn't an easy song to hear but it's honest about the frustrations that many in the civil rights movement felt. They "dressed real fine and talked like a lady" yet still did not get the respect they deserved. They were told to "go slow" but all they wanted was "Equality for my brother, my sister, my people and me." While "threats" like "we're all gonna get it, we're all gonna die and die like flies" might alienate those whose hearts and minds need changed, that's a real feeling that others could identify with.It's very familiar to other maligned groups today, being told to wait while our rights and freedoms are put on hold. It leads to anger that isn't always productive, but it's a real emotion that is valid.

"This is a showtune, but the show hasn't been written for it yet," Nina says after the chorus. That's because she was living it then, as we are living it now.

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Click on the "Four Women" link above for another brilliant performance by Nina!

Soundtrack Of The Day (Freshness Edition): "Loca People" - Sak Noel

2012-01-18T10:04:00.000-05:00

I like to dance. I like to listen to music in the car. I don't usually mix those two hobbies together, which is why I surprised myself by listening to Sirius/XM's dance music station BPM quite frequently. This awkward yet bouncy track has been taking over that channel. "Loca People" is a NSFW spoken word track over a blippy beat, and it's really stupid. Like in that LMFAO braincell burning, eyes glazing over stupidity. But I can't stop listening to it. The video is just awful, too. So listen, yeah?

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Law And Order Theme"

2012-01-17T07:00:00.000-05:00

Absolutely no reason why I'm posting this today. But is there any reason not to post the greatest theme song in TV history? I thought not...

Soundtrack Of The Day (Freshness Edition): "Like Smoke" - Amy Winehouse ft. Nas

2012-01-16T09:10:00.001-05:00

I was on vacation when I heard the news last summer, but Amy Winehouse's death was both sad and unsurprising. The British songbird was so full of promise and pain, as evidenced by the posthumous collection Lioness that was released last month. "Like Smoke" is one of the few brand new tracks, nestled among covers and alternate versions of her singles. RIP, Ms. Winehouse.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Who Let The Douchebags In?" - Oh Snap!

2012-01-15T14:51:00.002-05:00

I hadn't heard this song until yesterday, but it's been around for a couple months. Just in time for a new season of Jersey Shore to infect us with more brain herpes, Oh Snap!'s comedy(?) single "Who Let The Douchebags In?" is just the kind of song the fistpumpers would be doing the Jersey Turnpike to if it wasn't making fun of them. In fact, I thought the premier maker of douchebag dancefloor anthems, Will.I.Am was involved. But I was wrong. Anyway, who the hell let the douchebags in? Not me.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Constant Craving" - k.d. lang

2012-01-14T07:23:00.000-05:00

There is no great mystery behind the song I chose for the Soundtrack today. I heard this song on the radio at work yesterday, as I often do. It seems to be a favorite of the retail radio networks, as it's lovely and unobtrusive. k.d. has such a lovely voice, it's warm and enveloping, not unlike fellow Canuck Sarah McLaughlin. Please to enjoy:

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Kiss A Girl" - Keith Urban

2012-01-13T10:53:00.001-05:00

The Soundtrack Of The Day is brought to you in honor of my Aunt Laura. Yesterday was her birthday, and Keith Urban is one her favorites. I know she's seen him live more than once, but I honestly don't know which is her favorite song so I picked one of my favorites, "Kiss A Girl."

I remember her being less than enthused when he performed on an awards show and a large group of Hurricane Katrina survivors came on stage to sing with him and BLOCKED HER VIEW OF HIS AUSSIE HOTNESS! We still have not forgiven those "Katrina people." (PS, you can find his Playgirl spread on the internets if you're into that sort of thing.)

New Feature: Soundtrack Of The Day!

2012-01-13T10:43:00.000-05:00

In case you hadn't noticed, I've been writer's blocked, lazy, uninspired, and a lot of other things for the last year or more. I've been really bad at keeping up with the blog, so I've been considering my options. I don't want to stop writing but I don't seem to have the time for full-length posts. So I am beginning a new feature that will allow me to write in short bursts, post daily, and keep this thing rolling until I figure out what to do.

The boyf bought me a notebook for Christmas with a graphic cover that says "Music is my addiction." He knows me so well. I still love music but I haven't been as excited over new stuff recently, hence the lack of posting. But everyday of my life has a soundtrack, a little Nina Simone here, a little Janet Jackson there, a little Relient K everywhere.

That brings me to the new feature. I will be posting a song each day with a little blurb. Sometimes the song will be inspired by that day's events, other times it will be new music that has grabbed my ear (watch for the Freshness Edition in those cases) and other times it will be in honor of someone's birthday, anniversary or holiday.

If you have a request for Soundtrack Of The Day, leave 'em in the comments. If you are a band or artist who would like to be featured, let me know where I can find embeddable players with your music (YouTube, SoundCloud, etc.)

So, this could be fun. Soundtrack Of The Day starts... today!

What is THE Song of 2011

2012-01-10T19:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I teased five tracks that were in the running to be named the Song of 2011. Here they are:

Super Bass - Nicki Minaj

Born This Way - Lady Gaga

We Found Love - Rihanna

Skyscraper - Demi Levato

Don't You Wanna Stay - Jason Aldean feat Kelly Clarkson

Each song played over and over in my car, at work, in my head. But only can be the Song of 2011...

For plumbing emotional depths and giving me the thrill of sing-crying along on my many commutes, I name "Skyscraper" by Demi Levato the Song of 2011.

2011 Musical Year In Review

2012-01-09T22:28:00.002-05:00

I've been slacking with bringing the year end list that I never quite managed to put on paper, so let's do a stream of consciousness type run down of the music that had me dancing, crying and lip-synching... for my life!

I was into some pretty mainstream shizz this year, including Billboard's number album of the year 21 by powerhouse British soultress Adele. You couldn't escape "Rolling In The Deep" or "Someone Like You" and the latest single "Set Fire To The Rain" is probably my favorite track. Rolling Stone named called the plus-size stunner a Heartbreak Superstar but upbeat songs like "Rumour Has It" also allows that voice to expand over a slinky Soul Train beat.

Speaking of that voice, Kelly Clarkson's 2011 album Stronger had some great songs on it as well. The title track is the closest thing to dance pop Miss Independent has done, while "You Love Me" has a Tina Turner vibe that fits Kelly to a tee. Other standouts are "Honestly" and "Dark Side" - both firmly in the love-is-hard power ballad genre that Clarkson has reigned over for the last ten years.

Britney Spears also had a good year, "Hold It Against Me" was a total jam. As was Beyonce's "Countdown" - the one B jam I remember from her lackluster LP 4.

But 2011 was also the year for Disney pop tartlets to take the charts by storm. Selena Gomez & The Scene went new-wave with the dance chart smash "Love You Like A Love Song" after rocking a more subtle inspirational teen pop sound with "Who Says." Meanwhile Selena's one-time BFF Demi Levato bounced back from a battle with bipolar and eating disorders with a heartbreaking ballad recorded before a stint in rehab. "Skyscraper" sounds every bit like the cry for help it turned into, simply gorgeous with a string and piano backing a vocal that is raw and sorrowful. It is my first nominee for Song Of 2011. But not all was tears, the funky collabo with Missy Elliot and Timbaland "All Night Long" is ripe for dancefloors.

Speaking of dancefloors, Ellie Goulding lit them up with the shimmery title track of the album on every Anglophile's lips this year, Lights. Ellie is sure to follow in the footsteps of Robyn and Annie in the foreign-lass-that-has-gay-boys-dancing subgenre of pop. Another great dance track is Beth Ditto's solo single "I Wrote The Book" - replete with a video that doubles as a tribute to Madonna's "Justify My Love." Super producer David Guetta released another bloated pop-star-studded disc this year, but even among the generic pop sounds of Usher and Flo Rida comes a great dance track "Titanium" featuring the lovely Sia. It's a wall-to-wall dance track with a chorus that gets the blood pumping. But the dance song that gets my vote for Song of 2011 is Rihanna's 90s retro club banger featuring British producer Calvin Harris "We Found Love." That line in the chorus, "We found love in a hopeless place," is one of the most breathtaking moments in pop this year.

Meanwhile, saxophones took over the dancefloor and the pop charts. Dev's "In The Dark" utilized the sexy brass as a beat sample, as did Alexandra Stan's "Mr Saxobeat" - both great stripper music. More sex and more Sax can be found in Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)" but skip the Missy Elliot remix. Also saxing it up was Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory" - the best eighties power ballad since the decade ended.

I always wondering the fact I'm being pandered to should prevent me from enjoying the queer-bait music that always seem to come across my screen. But when it's silly, harmless and catchy fluff like X-Factor reject Simone Battles' "He Like Boys" I don't mind. The cutesy tale of a girl realizing her boyfriend likes boys the same way she does is fun and catchy and a little dumb, kind of like Rebecca Black's awful/awesome sandwich "Friday." Hey, don't judge. I also like Drag Racer Pandora Boxx's "Cooter" which is ten time worse, and also ten time more awesome.

Two slightly more serious gay-friendly singles also had a sway over me. Punk band Rise Against's "Make It Stop (September's Children)" is the first mainstream rock effort I know of to reference the 2010 suicides of LGBT youth. The lyrics seriously make me cry every time I hear them, especially over the bridge where lead singer Tim McIlrath recites the names and ages of the most well known bullying victims. It's unexpected and an important moment in rock music.

Lady Gaga has never been afraid to spread the word on love and acceptance of LGBT people. "Born This Way" also gets a nod for Song of 2011. It's simple, obvious message holds the power: "I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way." Yes, she jacked the melody from "Waterfalls" and "Express Yourself." But who else has the balls (and rumored dick) to say things like "no matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgendered life" and take it to the top of the Billboard Hot 100. It's a legendary move. She may not have been the first queer-friendly pop star but, by golly, she is the most visible person on the planet and she uses her fame for good. Born This Way is probably my favorite album of the year as well, I still love "Bloody Mary," "Government Hooker," "Sheisse" and "Highway Unicorn."

I also got scads of enjoyment out of Florence + The Machine's "Shake It Out", Rye Rye feat Robyn's "Never Will Be Mine" and Grace Jones' "Corporate Cannibal" which finally saw it's US release this year. From the Breaking Dawn soundtrack came the lovely ballad "A Thousand Years" by Christina "Jar Of Hearts" Perri. "Pumped Up Kicks" came out of nowhere, but the whistle-happy rock single by Foster People got me singing along about people running "faster than my bullet." Gangsta. Glee didn't inspire me to download as much this year as the past two, although Lea Michele and Diana Agron's mash up of "Unpretty" and "I Feel Pretty" was inspired, and like every gay boy I swooned over Darren Criss and The Warbler's a capella take on "Teenage Dream."

Country sounds that I was digging included the legendary Dolly Parton's single "Together You And I" and genre-hopper Kristin Chenoweth's "I Want Somebody (Bitch About)." But it was the sweet, sad sounds of romantic duets that had me putting a tear in my beer. (Yeah right, as if I'd ever drink beer. Make it a Smirnoff Green Apple.) Lady Antebellum followed up "Need You Now" with the misty eyed "Just A Kiss" - an ode to a chaste peck at the end of a date. Jason Aldean and my girl Kelly Clarkson considered a slightly more carnal end to the night with "Don't You Wanna Stay" - another contender for Song of 2011. But Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley explore what happens when sexual fireworks end and humdrum marital life replaces it in the steamy "Remind Me."

On the hip-hop tip, despite Nicki Minaj blowing me away with the bubblegum sounds of the surprise hit "Super Bass" (the final selection to battle for Song Of 2011) and Kelly Rowland sexing the place up with "Motivation" I wasn't really that excited by any rap/hip-hop jams this year.

So, what will be my pick for Song of 2011? Find out Tuesday!

A New Track & Video From Scissor Sisters? Why, Yes, I Will Listen To That.

2012-01-02T18:10:00.000-05:00

Those New York Sisters who Scissor, and make the kind of filthy/gorgeous music that makes the queer kids dance, are apparently back. "Shady Love" is the new track from a forthcoming album, but it sounds totally different than anything the Sisters have done before. Kind of Cazwell meets latin freestyle, and much heavier dance influence than usual. I'm just not sure if I love it, and I'm really not sure why Azealia Banks (aka Krystal Pepsy) was used on the song for a guy/gal back'n'forth when Ana Matronic is always perfectly perfect.

But it may grow on me, and I'm definitely not counting out this album based on this song. Scissor Sisters' Night Work was one of my favorite discs of 2010 despite the lead single being a snooze. Take a look-see at the video:

The Top Ten Nicki Minaj Lines Of 2011

2011-12-20T14:32:00.002-05:00

I was gonna start on my list of top songs of 2011 when I realized something. I kinda hated 2011 in music. Amy Winehouse died, LMFAO killed 27% of brain cells in the world and J.Lo had a comeback.

But not all is lost! One of the music stories I've been dying over this year is the rise of Nicki Minaj. Her debut album, Pink Friday, may not have been as fi-ya as we were expecting but it did quietly hit number one on the Billboard Top 200 Albums chart and her ridiculous feature raps and outfits continued to entertain us until "Super Bass" blew me away as a summer jam supreme. Here are the top ten insane rhymes the lass once known as Onika Tanya Maraj gave us in 2011.

10. "Till The World Ends" - Britney Spears feat Nicki Minaj & Ke$ha

"I ain't talking poultry when I say this chicken's fried"

Britney Spears had quite a year in 2011, Femme Fatale dropped three top ten hits, she turned 30 and ended the year with an engagement. Could Nicki's rap feature on a remix of second single "Till The World Ends" (which also featured the song's co-writer Ke$ha) have given the be-weaved one a boost?

9. "Dance (A$$)" - Big Sean feat Nicki Minaj

"You fucking little whores fucking up my decors/couldn't get Micheal Kors if you were fucking Micheal Kors"

Again, Nicki pops up on a remix of an otherwise lame hiphop song, this time by Big Sean. But a Micheal Kors shout out always makes up for production flaws and boring sex-obsessed rhymes.

8. "The Creep" - The Lonely Island feat Nicki Minaj & John Waters

"And when you sneak into a wake and you see a beefcake/Do the creep, HAH!/Do the creep, HAH!"

The Lonely Island grabbed double the queer-friendly power with John Waters bookending their stalker-themed comedy single and Nicki Minaj watching dudes undress from inside a locker. Get your arms T-Rexing, kids.

7. "Y.U. Mad" - Birdman feat Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne

"Hi, how are you? Yes it's nice to meet me."

Bragging is a staple of rap music, but nobody lays it out more simply than Nicki.

6. "Where Them Girls At" - David Guetta feat Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj

"Pebe, Pebe, who's Peabo Bryson?/Two years ago I renewed my license/Anyway, why'd I start my verse like that?/You can suck a dick, you can suck a ballsack/No! No! I don't endorse that/pause that/abort that"

After dissing Peabo Bryson, where else can our girl go? Dissing her own rhyme skills and teabagging, natch. Nothing like a rapper who can subtly poke fun at her own ability to spit nonsense and still get a hit. Wheezy, you next.

5. "Fly" - Nicki Minaj feat Rihanna

"I am not a word/I am not a line/I am not a girl who can ever be defined/I am not fly/I am levitation/I represent an entire generation"

In a more introspective moment for Nicki, she speaks the truth of thousands of girls who refused to be defined by the world and instead define themselves. The video reflects that - she appears as a ninja and Tinkerbell and S&M Barbie with Bride of Frankenstien hair, portraying many sides of the same "strong woman" coin.

4. "Roman In Moscow" - Nicki Minaj

"I ain't on my period but I got a new pad."

Nicki releases her sophomore disc Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded featuring her most outrageous alter ego Roman Zolanski. The "angry gay guy" doesn't pull any punches on the lead single, and indulges in this slightly less angry gay guy's favorite type of humor - menstruation puns. I'm sick, I know.

3. "Moment For Life" - Nicki Minaj feat Drake

"I call the shots, I am the umpire/I sprinkle holy water upon a vampire/In this very moment I'm king/at this very moment I slay Goliath with the sling"

Nicki takes the crown as king, compares herself to a vampire hunter like Van Helsing and a giant killer like David and yet loses none of her feminine spirit. This is why I look at Nicki as part of a new breed of feminist. They don't care if they have to be dude-like or girly, they are bad bitches who get shit done.

2. "Monster" - Kanye West feat Rick Ross, Jay Z, Nicki Minaj, Bon Iver

"You could be the king but watch the queen conquer"

The creepy video finally saw an official release this last summer, and the controversy surrounding use of female corpses in it led to a disclaimer at the beginning. But there are also dead male corpses, Nicki Minaj is very much alive in the clip and it seems like an intentional amping up of the misogeny already seen in hip hop videos. Just hearing Nicki's verse, which still gets me pumped a year after it's release, shows the exact opposite intent, on her part at least.

1. "Super Bass" - Nicki Minaj

"He could ball with the crew, he could solo/But I think I like him better when he dolo/And I think I like him better with the fitted cap on/He ain't even gotta try to put the mac on/He just gotta give me that look, when he give me that look/Then the panties comin' off, off, uh/Excuse me, you're a hell of a guy you know I really got a thing for American guys/I mean, sigh, sickenin' eyes I can tell that you're in touch with your feminine side"

Bubblegum rap is usually good for a bouncy beat or hooky chorus. And "Super Bass" has both, but it also has a pretty sweet rap (no pun intended.) The verses had teen scene queens Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez in a tizzy and little girls popping up on YouTube and the Ellen show with covers of the edited version. I also swoon for Jay Brannan's Long Island accent on "panties coming awf, awf" in his cover. This song was everywhere this summer, winning a VMA and a possible number one spot on my year end list.

The Wanted Are Totes Wankable, "Glad You Came" Is A Pretty Good Single, Too

2011-11-11T09:00:00.000-05:00

The flip side to having Sirius installed in my car is all the hot music I can catch that the local stations ignore. The Wanted is a boyband out of the UK & Ireland and 20 On 20 and Hits One have been playing their single "Glad You Came" pretty regularly. It's a really pretty, yet bouncy pop track with a great accordion break a la "Stereo Love" which is right in my wheel house.

Well, while I was searching for yesterday's shitstorm of suck "Pick Up The Phone" I stumbled across the video for "Glad You Came" and almost had to excuse myself to the loo for a quick wank. (They make me all British sounding, in addition to raising my temp!) These lads are stunning, the one with the striped apron above looks like the love child of Puck from Glee and Robbie Williams (i.e. totes boffable.)

Oh, and the song is still pretty sweet.

This Is The Worst Song You Will Hear Today

2011-11-10T15:30:00.001-05:00

I have been really enjoying the Sirius radio that came free with my new Kia Forte (not product placement!) especially the commercial free pop stations that allow me to catch some new songs that are rocking my world. But with a wider variety of songs to hear comes the possibility that some real shit will slip through.

I didn't know who Meddz was when I heard his awful, faux-Europop single "Pick Up The Phone" on the 20 On 20 pop station. Apparently he's some kind of dancehall/reggae artist, but this song is a shitty rip off of Taio Cruz or Jay Sean with lyrics that are literally about how hasn't bothered calling his chick in two weeks but can't figure out why she won't pick up the phone. So he pokes her on Facebook (people still do that?) and is gonna "Twitter" his love to the world.

The video is even worse. Like the two chicks that are talking about Meddz' terrible behavior are sitting in the most awkward positions ever, the framed picture that he caresses is clearly green screened in. Watch it here, or listen to the half of the song that YouTube allows me to embed. Hilariously embarrassing stuff.

Do You "L-U-V" The Leaked Madonna Song?

2011-11-09T10:47:00.000-05:00

I love Madonna. One of my all time favorite songs is "Like A Prayer" and I even really enjoyed Hard Candy. So I've been sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for news about her 2012 LP, which meant I couldn't wait to get home from work last night to check out the leaked demo of "Give Me Your Love" that was blowing up my Twitter.

At first I was ready to turn it off. What the fresh hell is this? What is Madge doing ripping off ~~Avril Lavigne~~ ~~Gwen Stefani~~ Toni Basil? That cheerleader sound is not fresh, and with William Orbit and Martin Solveig reported to be involved with the album I was hoping for a modern sound that is also classic, like "Frozen" was.

But the more I listen, the less I hate it. Rumor has it MIA and Nicki Minaj are slated to rap on the finished mix and a more polished sound would elevate it, especially if they have MIA chant the "L-U-V Madonna/Y-O-U wanna?" Her voice would make it less silly, more insane. And it is frakking catchy as hell, I found myself repeating both the chorus and the cheer while housecleaning.

So I recant, Madonna can do no wrong. Except "Hanky Panky."

Check out "Give Me Your Love" from Perez Hilton's blog (one of the few places it hasn't been pulled from yet!) Ad plays before song...

Kelly Clarkson's Ex-Boyfriend Anger Gets "Stronger"

2011-10-31T13:48:00.000-04:00

Kelly Clarkson sings my life. I have lost count of how many times I have said that, but it remains true and not the slightest bit glib.

From leaving a small town behind for bigger adventures in "Breakaway" to the tired, broken girl on "Irvine" to the mother-issues-addled child of a broken home on "Because Of You" to vitriol-spitting ex-girlfriend on pretty much every other single, Kelly has been telling the stories that I have lived and the emotions I have felt throughout her post-Idol career.

On her 5th album, Stronger, Kelly tackles her most famous role again - hurt and angry ex-girlfriend with sass and attitude to spare. Like My December with better hooks, Stronger focuses on rock-guitar laced breakup anthems while the occasional foray into ballads and even light R&B. Lead single "Mr. Know It All" would make the album seem like a Bruno Mars inspired R&B/pop affair, but Kelly quickly delves into dancable pop rock on the exemplary title track before veering into what she does best - angry kiss offs like "Honestly" and "You Love Me." A spooky music box intro leads into introspective lyrics where she holds out hope for love that accepts her on her own level on "Dark Side." Other songs showing a more nuanced look at the end of relationships than her breakthrough "Since U Been Gone" are "The War Is Over" and the gorgous ballad "Breaking Your Own Heart"

The album is not without flaws - "Einstein" is well below Kelly's intelligence level with the nonsensical chorus lyric "dumb plus dumb equals you" and the disc should have either jettisoned "Mr. Know It All" or found some more R&B sounds to make it seem less of an oddball track. Even her "flop" dark rock-orientated My December found room for funkier fare like "How I Feel" and "Yeah."

The deluxe edition includes her hit duet with Jason Aldean "Don't You Wanna Stay" and two more rocking breakup jams. But another duet, with former Idol judge and hitmaking songwriter Kara DioGuardi, is a very pretty and hopeful sounding end to a sometimes dark night of the soul.

(PS: can you tell My December is my favorite Kelly Clarkson album?)

Kelly Clarkson Aims For Gay Clubs With "What Doesn't Kill You"

2011-10-05T12:37:00.005-04:00

I was out this past weekend for a birthday, and we went to local gay club Stallions (so discreet!) Now this isn't the type of gay club where they play Cazwell and obscure European dance pop, it's kinda lame with it's top 40 remixes on the dancefloor. But they played a really hot remix of Adele's latest single "Someone Like You" that reminded me of the heyday of club divas - big vocals over a slamming four-on-the-floor beat. I miss that CeCe Peniston/Martha Walsh sound!

Seems Kelly has been, too. She just put up the second official release of music off her upcoming 5th LP Stronger - the pseudo title track "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)" It starts out kinda indie-guitarish then hits the chorus and (to quote PopJustice) "explodes into gay." I need this in the club, not another Rihanna remix. Kelly is the last of the female megastars of the 00s to explore dance music, so I think she's due.

Based On A True Story

2011-09-13T19:59:00.005-04:00

I've been reading almost exclusively non-fiction these days, which is a complete turn around from my childhood. The one genre that held my attention in between Nancy Drew then and histories of gay porn and disco now is celebrity memoirs. As a kid I devoured the entire autobiography section of our rural library - which meant I'd read autobios of Reba, Dolly, Barbara Mandrell and Kathie Lee by the time I was 15. As a sheltered child I knew of these names but very little of what they did. I was entranced by their stories none the less.

Recently I finished Ricky Martin's exquisite memoir Me. As much as I was hoping for a juicy tell all with lots of details about exploits with other attractive Latin men, it was a surprisingly engaging and very spiritual life story. He didn't name names but he did discuss in depth his own inner turmoil surrounding his sexuality, his infamous interview with Barbara Walters (where he denied his homosexuality) and eventual decision to come out while writing the book.

But Me is about a lot more than that. It's about leaving his family to join the factory-like atmosphere of Menudo, his exhaustion after his US breakthrough and his calling to protect children around the world from sex traffickers. He talks about becoming a father. It's beautiful and a rather literary read. It could have used a few more pictures of the sexy star, but it's not really that kind of book. Unfortunately.

But turning to something a little more silly on the surface, I also read Confessions Of A Prairie Bitch by Alison Arngrim. The former child star of Little House On The Prairie is to this day known around the world as the hateful brat Nellie Oleson, even to the point of being beat up at a press event by child fans of the show during its heyday.

But Alison's story is much deeper than playing one of the most famous villains on family friendly TV. Her parents were in a marriage of convenience, a gay father who pushed his two kids into any publicity to further their career. Her brother molested her, starting at age 6. And she lost her gay best friend and TV husband to AIDS. These events led her into speaking up for AIDS organizations and going on Larry King Live to get tougher incest penalties enacted in California. Being a prairie bitch opened doors and gave a hurt young girl strength.

I would highly recommend both books to more than just fans of these very different celebrities.

New Shiz from Lil Mama - "Scrawberry"

2011-08-31T15:37:00.001-04:00

Kinda in love with this song!

Selena Gomez & The Scene Up The Ante On "When The Sun Goes Down"

2011-07-20T10:22:00.003-04:00

It's no (longer) a secret that I've been stanning for Selena Gomez over the past year or so. Starting with her glorious first minor radio hit "Naturally" (from the otherwise snoozy Kiss & Tell) through the surprisingly funny and entertaining Wizard Of Waverly Place: The Movie, I grew to really enjoy her output.

Her second album, Year Without Rain, was a marked improvement over her debut but it was still weighed down with way too much filler. This is where Selena and her band The Scene get it right on When The Sun Goes Down. While a few tracks are totally skip-worthy, the bulk of the songs are great jams. The lead single, empowerment anthem "Who Says" is a sunny teen pop sing-along, also appearing in Spanish as "Dices." The bulk of the album is more dance poppy, with the new wave-y second single "Love You Like A Love Song" being a real stand out. Also worth checking out are "Bang Bang Bang" and the Britney Spears-penned "Whiplash" as well as the more laid back "We Own The Night" which was co-written and features British pop singer Pixie Lott.

Even if you're not a teeny bopper fan, club kids of all ages and stripes should find some fun, bouncy summer jams on this album. Bonus: the photos in the booklet are stunning.

In Defense of Brainless Comedy

2011-07-12T13:31:00.000-04:00

I was never much a TV watcher as a young person. We didn't have cable, so our main exposure to TV was Sesame Street, then taped episodes of Touched By An Angel and Christy (starring Kellie Martin as a turn of the century school marm in Appalachia and Tyne Daly as her Quaker mentor) that my grandmother would send us.

As an adult I was mostly interested in music television, watching VH1, CMT and MTV2 until all hours of the night to learn about new bands, watch countdown lists to learn what was considered "the best" and catching videos that I had always been told were filthy only to learn they weren't that bad. Over time I became obsessed with dramas like Joan of Arcadia, Lost (though I still haven't seen the last season) and Ugly Betty and reality competition like American Idol, Project Runway and Top Chef. But there was only a brief period where TV really ruled my schedule.

Now, with the exception of American Idol, I no longer have a "must see show." But I love to laugh, and even if I've seen the show before, or haven't seen the show but know exactly where the joke is going, I will flip on really awful sitcoms just as much as the high brow stuff. Yes, Arrested Development was quite funny, as are smart britcoms like Little Britain and Coupling but I don't need groundbreaking stuff to elicit a chuckle. Hell, a plausible plot isn't even necessary.

Just look at my love for kiddie coms like Wizards Of Waverly Place or iCarly. One features a family of wizards, the other a group of high schoolers with a webshow that apparently generates enough dough to pay for a pretty nice apartment.

But Disney Channel's breakout Wizards actress Selena Gomez has ridiculous comic timing, as does her hot on screen brother David Henrie. The scripts are ludicrous, with vampires, mummies and angels randomly showing up to break hearts or wreak havoc. Selena's character Alex is delightful slacker who refuses to study her magic classes, leaving her always screwing up spells while cracking wise. Silly, I know, but it makes me laugh.

Mean on Nickelodeon, iCarly is even more ridiculous. Miranda Cosgrove's Carly frequently plays straight man to Jeannette McCurdy's badass prankster Sam. Carly lives with her older brother, a starving artist type that acts even younger than high school aged Carly. The webshow that Carly, Sam and friend/camera man Freddie produce is, thankfully, very briefly shown. It look obnoxious, but the situations the gang get into while going to school and producing the show are light and fluffy fun. Recurring gags like Sam's love of food and secret crush on her frienemy Freddie keep it interesting and silly. It makes me laugh.

But even adult sitcoms, like TvLand's current pair on Wednesday nights Hot In Cleveland and Happily Divorced, are not exactly high brow entertainment. I know Betty White nabbed an Emmy nom for Hot, but she's basically playing Rue McClannahan's part on Golden Girls while Valerie Bertinelli, Janes Leeves and Wendie Malick try for smalltown Sex & The City types. Not exactly fresh stuff, but it makes me laugh.

Fran Drescher pulls from real life in her new sitcom, Happily Divorced. After her hubby and producing partner came out as a gay man, the two created a sitcom based on the situation. While that could have lead into some fascinating insight into the real stories of late in life comings out, Happily Divorced never met a cliche it didn't love. And last weeks episode was very ham fisted in it's look at under-the-surface homophobia. But still, it makes me laugh.

Finally, Keeping Up With The Kardashians may not be a sitcom but that doesn't keep it from being as scripted as the rest of these shows. And it provides just as many laughs. From meddling mom Kris to the sisterly infighting to longsuffering hubby Bruce, these broadly played characters and scenarios are pulled from the sitcom handbook, right down to the Full House-y family hugs that end most episodes. What have we learned from this very special episode? It makes me laugh.

None of these shows are blowing me away with their new insights on humanity but, as I reiterated, they make me laugh. I don't have to follow the plot carefully, I can miss a couple episodes or even a few scenes in an episode whilst I flip over to Food Network and still get the gist and walk away chuckling. That's all I ask of my comedy. If I can get Noel Coward, Dorothy Parker or Jane Austen, I'll take it. But there's nothing wrong with an ABC Family original like Melissa & Joey or State Of Georgia, either. After all, it makes me laugh.

"He's Got The Whole World In His Pants"

2011-07-11T11:04:00.005-04:00

Have you ever had a boneheaded moment when you realized that you have been singing the wrong words for years? Not just substituting "loaded gun complex" for "loaded God complex" in "Sugar, We're Going Down" or scrambling "Bohemian Rhapsody" but mis-singing the title of a popular song, over and over again?

As a kid, I had a book of these lyrical gaffes and we LOL'd over them frequently. "Hold my clothes and tie me down sir" instead of "Hold me closer, tiny dancer"? Silly human ears. Of course, "'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy" is now a website (interwebs is the new books, kids!) for you to browse other people's mistakes.

I was please to find out that I was not the only one mistaking the chorus of Til Tuesday's one hit "Voices Carry" to be "hush, hush/Even downtown was so scary"

However, it seems I am alone in thinking Prince wasn't singing about a "Little Red Corvette" but a "Mir-a-cle Man." As a child, I assume it was a Jesus song.

So, what lyrics have you goofed on?

Kelly Clarkson Doesn't "Let Me Down" On New Single (Possible Summer Jam?)

2011-07-06T15:54:00.003-04:00

KELLY CLARKSON!!!!! ZOMG I LOVE YOU LONG TIME!!!!1!!

Sorry. Had a fangirl moment there. Ahem. Kelly's lead single from her upcoming, currently untitled, album is here and I am loving it. The OG Idol returns to the scorned-woman-rocking-out sound that served her well on singles like "All I Ever Wanted," "Walk Away," "Never Again," and "Since U Been Gone" and it's easy to see her charting high again.

Kelly told MTV that the new album was influenced by Prince, Tina Turner and Radiohead and it's easy to assume her collaborations with Jason Aldean and Reba McIntire may give it a little Nashville swing. But "Let Me Down" is classic Clarkson - a rocking pop jam with a kick ass chorus and that voice giving ultimate kiss-off lines like "the funny thing about forever is it comes with a side of never-never" and "when it counts, you countdown."

Perfect summer music, ready to get obsessed?

The Summer Jams 2011

2011-06-29T14:27:00.004-04:00

Summer started last week and it's time for hot jams pumping from hot cars on hot summer afternoons. These are the jams I've started pumping from my Kia:

Selena Gomez & The Scene - "Love You Like A Love Song"
You may recall that a (pre-Beibs) Selena Gomez single "Naturally" was my jam last spring. It was everything that breezy teen dance pop should be. Her follow up album Year Without Rain had a stunning title track. Now lil' miss "Wizards Of Waverly Place" is blowing up my speakers now. "Who Says" she's not perfect?

Rye Rye feat Robyn - "Never Will Be Mine"
Baltimore teen rapper Rye Rye hooks up with the queen of "sad gay disco songs" for a slow rap about giving up on loser boyfs. It's a sneaky little single, it slips into your brain and stays for days.

Nicki Minaj - "Super Bass"
The poppiest single from Barbie so far. While the rap has some hot moments (though not as craycray as "Monster" or "Roman's Revenge"), it's the chorus that just says dancing by the pool. My my, it's like pelican fly... and summery fresh! Also, it's Taylor Swift approved!

Lady Gaga - "Edge Of Glory"
The video is crap, but this power ballad is basically "Don't Stop Believing" for a new millennium (as sung in the style of Pat Benatar.)

Neon Trees - "Your Surrender"
The "Animal"istic ones are back with more new wave dance rock goodness.

Tinie Tempah feat Eric Turner - "Written In The Stars"
No, it's not a cover of that LeeAnn Rimes/Elton John duet from Aida. It's Brit rap with a hot hook (sung by a hot hipster!)

Who did I miss? Tell me in the comments!

Baby, She Was "Born This Way"

2011-06-29T00:59:00.005-04:00

I am finally getting around to putting my feelings about Lady Gaga's latest into words. I've been been living with the album for a month now, playing in cars and at home - the true test of an album's quality.

At first I wasn't sold. The industrial vibe that runs through about half the album sounds really harsh compared to the glossiness of the RedOne collabos from The Fame Monster but hearing it up against the more arena rock sounds that also permeate Born This Way it grows on me. While the album on the whole has a dancable sound, it is light years away from Gaga's breakthrough hit "Just Dance."

Gaga borrows from 1980s Queen and Bruce Springsteen as well as previous donors Madonna and Micheal Jackson before adding on the industrial beats. In fact, "Edge Of Glory" not only features the much talked about Clarence Clemons solo but a hook drenched rock chorus that Pat Benatar would die for. And "You & I" is a bluesy rock love ballad that would fit in on Born In The USA any day.

It's not all 80s rehashing, Gaga experiments with "mariachi house" on "Americano," German industrial on the feminist club anthem "Scheiße" and operatic vocal flourishes with "Government Hooker" and "Bloody Mary."

Lyrically, "Bloody Mary", "Judas" and "Born This Way" show a religious bent but even in more carnal moments like "You & I" and "Bad Kids" Gaga shows her true spiritual self. It's a manifesto on loving yourself and your flaws, because "we are not just art for Michelangelo to carve." It's a strangely maternal album, underneath all that craziness.

So, what does everybody else think?

Idol Recap! "Songs By Your Favorite Artists"

2011-03-09T22:05:00.003-05:00

Ok, children. American Idol has returned to my heart. I'm watching. I'm recapping. You betta read, covergurls.

So, Lauren Alaina is a country girl at heart and she loves Shania Twain. I also love Shania Twain but cannot for the life of me figure out why people keep doing "Any Man Of Mine" Why can't they do "Party For Two"? Any way, the singing was a little kareoke and even shouty at parts. But she's really spunky. Unlike Mary Tyler Moore's boss, I like spunk.

Next up is the man with the magic beard - Casey Abrams. His idol is Joe Cocker, and he is singing "A Little Help From My Friends." The song does nothing for me, but his vocals are gritty and growly and kinda cool.

Ashton Jones has the Diana Ross hair going on, so it's not surprising she picks the Supreme singer as her fave. But her vocals were a little shrill, I'm not sure she should have gone so high. And J.Lo's not the only one that didn't know this song, I only know it from when the Idols did a charity recording of it in Carrie Underwood's season.

J.Lo also hadn't heard of Ryan Adams. I think most of America will be hearing his songs for the first time via Paul McDonald. I only know his song "Stars Go Blue" - as covered by Tim McGraw (and The Corrs) but this one has a nice alt country vibe and his vocals go well in that sound. His jacket is very Coldplay, and his moves are very Chris Martin via Thom Yorke.

Pia Toscano has THE VOICE! She sounds very much like her Idol Celine. She done sang "All By Myself" but I don't get anything from her besides vocal gymnastics. Which is all good for now, but I need more as the weeks go by.

James Durbin loves wearing his chains. And Paul McCartney. His vocals are off the chain, though. His restrain barely holds together, which is very rock n roll. His voice just wants to bust out!

A LeeAnn Rimes fan, Haley Reinhart is singing "Blue" and while she has a pretty voice, it isn't up to the challenge of that yodelly song.

Jacob Lusk loves R. Kelly, I hope he's not also a fan of alleged pederasty and water sports. And Holy Fuddruckers, that run at the end of "I Believe I Can Fly" was off the hook! So full of vocal energy and craziness.

I think Thia Megia is such a little cutie, but I concur with the judges that she was better on the first half of the song. I really want to hear more from her!

I thought Stefano Langone's "Lately" was subpar. He seemed out of his league in parts. He's cute, though, and he managed to make it work towards the end.

Oh, Karen Rodriguez! I wanted her to be awesome doing her idol Selena's "I Could Fall In Love" and she wasn't. Her vocals couldn't handle the lower notes, and even the higher ones seemed shaky. But I have a feeling she will have a strong Latino voting bloc and will stick around for a while yet.

Scotty McCreary sang Garth Brooks. Nothing about that shocks me. He does what he does well, but it's not for me.

Niama Adedapo is completely unique. Her reggae/rap breakdown in the middle of "Umbrella" brought fresh fire to a song that has become part of the American Songbook. I can't wait to hear what she does next, after a fast jazz take on "Summertime" last week she's the only one I look forward to. Also, she looks like Boy George. Which is to say: AWESOME!

Nothing Compares 2 U Crying On Camera

2011-03-09T12:05:00.004-05:00

In the pantheon of emotional trickery in music videos, nothing beats a camera closeup that captures the tear streaked face of a (usually young, pretty) woman. Let's take a look...

Of course, the granddaddy of all close up cry shots is Sinéad O'Connor's MTV Video of the Year winning clip for "Nothing Compares 2 U" The shot is so powerful, you forget the rest of the video exists.

Kelly Clarkson's video for "Because Of You" has more plot than the others, but the shots of a blond Clarkson singing into the mirror are more interesting than the "TV movie of the week" action scenes with the little girl. She acts quite well in some of them, but just before the bridge we see the emotion welling up and she cries real tears with that ugly scrunched up cry face that Amber Tamblyn does so well.

Meanwhile, Duffy uses the crying game to distract for the sleepiness of her single "Warwick Avenue." It's a very pretty cry, her mascara running like a drag queen doing a dramatic lipsync. I don't mean to make fun, but it's a little obvious that it's meant to tug at heartstrings. Watch here.

Janelle Monáe does an almost direct homage to Sinead's weepies on "Cold War" - down to the way the shot is framed for much of the video making her seem bald. But when she has her first well of emotion, she goes nuts with a head tremble that turns into the shakes. It's another minute before the real, glistening tear rolls out and streaks her youthful cheeks. Girl knows how to do it!

Why Is Justin Bieber The Most Bullied Teen In The World?

2011-03-07T13:30:00.005-05:00

I'm not going to even pretend that I am a Bielieber. I don't have Bieber Fever, but I do respect that he does know how to play drums and other instruments. His songs are catchy, and his voice is a little high pitched but so was Micheal Jackson's as his age.

I am as guilty as the next guy at poking fun at the pint sized pop star. But I started noticing a disturbing trend on my Facebook feed. There is a meme of starting pages to "like" on the social network with names like: "God, take Justin Bieber and give us back _____" The blank can filled with any number of dead rock stars, from MJ to Elvis to Kurt Cobain to Dimebag Darrell to 2Pac to Biggie to The Rev. While I'm sure fans of these people would love to have them back, to see them performing and recording again, I don't see this as a tribute to a beloved icon as much as an attack on a teenage boy.

Yes, Justin is cocky sometimes and his music is as overplayed as any other hit on the radio. But why do so many people, even in jest, wish him dead?

And the hate is everywhere. After a concert goer threw a water bottle at him, a video of the event went viral - getting reposted and remixed over and over. Tee shirts with hateful slogans are available all over the Internet. His sexuality is frequently questioned. After Justin appeared on tv show CSI for the second time, the video of him being shot by cops also went viral, being viewed 17 million times.

Do people genuinely hate Justin Bieber, or this just the normal backlash against a popular musician?

It comes down, in part at least, to misogyny, male posturing and hetero-sexism. Girls like him and have basically created his fame, so therefore he is threat to the male-dominated music industry. He looks girly sometimes, wearing purple and a unisex hairstyle, so he must be gay and therefore bad. He doesn't follow "male" norms - treating girls badly and just looking for poon. He must be gay and therefore bad. And if girls like him, he can't be any good? Noticed no one is making "God, you can take Justin Bieber, just give us back Janis Joplin [or Left-Eye Lopes]"

Justin seems to take it all in stride: after the jokes about his "lesbian" haircut led to website dedicated to lesbians that look like him, he told Chelsea Handler that he thought it was funny. He appeared on the cover of Love magazine's Androgyny issue with the title "Justin Bieber - The Beautiful One" under his striking eyes and full lips - clearly the boy is not ashamed of being androgynous.

Which is partially why preteen girls love him. He doesn't seem threatening or fully sexualized, he's just sweet and cute and not so different from her girl friends, only a boy.

I don't have the answers, but I do know that in a world where bullying is increasing and hate is too easy to find we really shouldn't be dissing someone that just makes girls smile. Viva la Bieber!

Sermon Rewind: "Shine A Light"

2011-03-06T17:28:00.000-05:00

A sermon from Febuary, in text form.

We have our rituals. Our morning routines, designed to get ourselves ready for the day in a timely manner. For me, a work day ritual involves hitting snooze only twice, gathering my clothing and heading straight to the bathroom for the same cleansing routine every morning. If I feel lazy or have an extra stop on my way to work I know I can skip shaving for one day. I know how much time I can spend checking Facebook, and which route to take to work. I have it down pat, even if I am barely awake I can get myself together.

When I get to work, I know my routine there. One day a few weeks ago my battery died and I had to wait for my sister to come jump it. I was 25 minutes late, I arrived only 5 minutes before I had to open the store. I knew my routine well enough to streamline it in my head on my drive, what tasks were urgent and what I could put off until after I opened the doors. I clocked in while archiving sales, I hit the lights as I flew past them. I was a model of efficiency that morning. I had the store open by 9 AM.

Years of almost mindless repetition had made each task part of my body, I didn’t have the think at all - which made opening the store easy. But when have I made my spiritual life a routine? Do I go through the motions so often that I don’t even think about what I’m doing or who I’m doing it for?

In Isaiah’s time, the people of Israel had created a routine. They knew when they sinned, they just had to fast and pray and BAM! Forgiven, God’s favor shines, all is well. They didn’t want to think about what God wanted from them. Just skip a day of food, maybe throw on some sackcloth and itch a little. It’s cool.

Nearly every major religion makes use of fasting to some extent, In Catholicism, there are fasts on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday and the practice of giving up meat during Lent. Many Protestant denominations have similar Lenten fasts. In Islam, the month of Ramadan is spent abstaining from food, drink and sex during daylight hours. And the Jewish faith have seven full days of fasting, including Yom Kippur.

The passage from Isaiah this morning appears to be referring to Yom Kippur, The Day Of Atonement. On the Day of Atonement, besides abstaining from eating and drinking, there is no bathing, no using perfumes or lotions, no wearing leather shoes and no marital relations. It also included animal sacrifices.

Fasting is a way to sacrifice, to give up something we need as a reminder of God’s sacrifices. As a way to remove a barrier to spiritual communion with God. A tool to teach us patience and self control. But it can also become a routine, just another ritual to go through to get what we want from God.

And that is what the people of Isaiah’s time were doing. Instead of treating each other with respect, treating their employees well, giving to the poor and hungry they just went through the motions, continuing on with their rituals.

But God was not looking for routines and rituals. God says:

“Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loosen the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh? Then your light will break forth like the dawn…”

God is looking for us to give up our selfishness and our greed. God is not satisfied by rote repetition of spiritual practices. God is pleased when we fast and pray, when we bow before our Maker. But not when it becomes a replacement to following God’s commands.

We are called to be God’s light into the dark places of the world. We are called to stop injustice when we see it. We are called to share our food with the hungry. We are called to provide the wanderer with shelter.

We can’t hide inside church walls, behind the liturgy and tradition when there is a world that needs our light.

In Matthew, Jesus tells us we are the salt of the world. In ancient times, salt was highly valuable. The Greeks called it divine. It was a common food preservative, it keeps food from spoiling. It also increases the flavor of food.

What does it mean to be the salt of the earth? It means that we are here to preserve it. To keep the world, and the people of it, whole, healthy, unspoiled. And like the flavor of meat and vegetables are enhanced and brightened by salt, Jesus has tasked us with adding flavor and meaning to this world. To be the one to show the deeper layers of life. To say, there is more than just what is going on in my own little head. Saltiness is one of the 5 flavors our taste buds can detect, and salt distracts from bitter edges of some flavors making them seem sweeter. That is one of our roles as the salt of the earth. To bring sweetness, goodness and joy to the forefront.

Jesus also tells us that we are the light of the world. Just like a city on a hill cannot be hidden, people do not put a light under a bushel. Now, most of us probably think of a candle tucked under a bushel basket when we hear this passage, but the kind of bushel used in Jesus day was an earthenware bowl. So instead of merely hiding a light, the lamp would be snuffed out by the lack of air.

If we are to be the light of the world, we cannot hide ourselves until we lose our light, we must shine proudly. We must “Shine our light before all, that they may see our good works and glorify our Parent in heaven.”

We cannot hide within these walls. If we are to be light shining in the dark places of this world, we cannot stay contained within our church. We cannot circle the wagons, creating a smaller society of Christ followers that have no impact on the outside world.

Since I was a small child, I have seen churches and their members attempt to isolate themselves. To make a separate community, one where Christians and non-Christians do not mix. There are Christian banks, Christian business groups, attempts made to create Christian only housing developments. There is nothing wrong with wanting to interact with other Christians, but our intent must never be to hide.

God has given us a light to shine, but if we hide it away we will smother it. It is no use to us if we do not shine, to go into the world and show God’s love, compassion and mercy to the world.

We must do our part. Feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, caring for the outcasts of society. We are not put on this earth to rubber stamp approval onto the status quo, to turn a blind eye the atrocities humans inflict on each other. We are to be rebels, revolutionize the world leaving it better than we found. Brighter. Saltier.

For too long the church has cast off its role, leaving governments and businesses to care for the ailing and the destitute. We don’t like what we see, the homelessness and hungry in so much need. But so often we have expected someone else to take care of it.

How is that being salt and light? How are we shining a light into a dark place? This world is filled with darkness, children taken as soldiers in Africa or sold as sexual objects in Asia. Whole families going to bed hungry in the US and around the world. People dying of Malaria in Africa. As long is there is social injustice, inhumane practices and hate, anger and fear in this world, we must shine a light.

We have each been given a skill set, are we using those skills to leave this world a better place? Are we enhancing the world around us?

There is nothing wrong with fasting. With prayers and ceremonies, traditions and rituals. These are ways to draw close to God, to absorb the spiritual energy that God provides. There is nothing wrong with Christian fellowship. These things are good and wholesome. They are designed to fuel our fire, not to be the be all and end all of our existence. If we think that is the extent of our spiritual journey, that is where it goes wrong.

In James chapter 2, the Apostle says this: “What good is it if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them “Go, I wish you well, keep warm and well fed” but does nothing about the physical needs, what good is it?”

First off, if someone says “Go, I wish you well, keep warm and well fed” with the knowledge that this person doesn’t have the means to do so, that person is kind of a jerk. Jerk stands in for a lot of other words that I couldn’t use this morning.

But, furthermore, that person is doing the very thing Isaiah was prophesying about some 700 years before. It seems that people never change. We go through the motions of following God, but don’t always want to do the work.

Notice what is says above the door way as you walk out of this sanctuary. “What does the Lord require of you? To do Justice. And to love Mercy. And to walk Humbly with our God.”

That is the light we have to share with the world. Justice. Mercy. Humility.

We want the rewards, like God owes us something. We want God to forgive us, so we can go do the same thing again. We have to change, we have to become salt and light and impact our community and that is not easy. There is so much darkness in the world, where can you shine your light?

Girls Like Us: Kelly Clarkson, P!nk & the Max Martin Factor (Pt 2)

2011-02-16T10:26:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I introduced two artists that have to potential to be Girls Like Us. Here is the rest of the story:

After Kelly's massive success with Max Martin/Dr Luke penned singles "Since U Been Gone" and "Behind These Hazel Eyes" Pink was the next female star to hook up with the hit making duo. Her next disc, 2006's I'm Not Dead opened with the single "Stupid Girls" - a scathing indictment of fame-chasing celebutants. While the song was controversial, with a video clearly lampooning Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and the Olsen twins, it didn't translate into the massive hit. Releasing the song was the start of her very public political side. Lyrics like "What happened to the dream of a girl president/she's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent" are hard hitting and bold.

She followed that single with a slow rising track "Who Knew" - a powerful ballad co-written with Martin and Luke. Exploring the themes of a lover who leaves after promising to never go was more universal than the bratty woman-child of her previous albums. The song never fully explains the reason for leaving, the video suggests drug use caused a rift but it could be interpreted as a lover dying. "If someone said three years from now/you'd be long gone/I'd stand up and punch that mouth/'cuz they're all wrong/I know better/'cuz you said forever/who knew" is a powerful lyric that resonates with so many.

She also showcased her political side with a protest song "Dear Mr. President" - an open letter to an already vastly unpopular president. She takes him to task on his views on gay rights and a lack of compassion for the poor.

While Pink was racking up hit singles with Max Martin's catchy pop formula's, Kelly Clarkson was riding high on her ASCAP win for Songwriter Of The Year. Ignore her label head, legend Clive Davis, she wanted to co-write all the songs for her next album. The result was 2007's commercial flop My December.

The difference between between her hits with Martin and Luke songwriting team and her own compositions was minimal at first glance. Her songs were angry pop/rock in some places, while others were slow burning ballads. The whole album was a unified artistic statement, a story of a young woman burned yet again by love. From the sweeping sadness of "Sober" - "three months and I'm still breathing/been a long road since those hands I left my tears in" to the bitter ex of "Never Again" - "I hope the ring you gave her turns her finger green/I would never wish bad things but I don't wish you well" to the most heartbreaking moment of her career.

"Irvine" was written while burnt out and exhausted, after trying to remove people from her life that were bringing her down. It's a prayer born out of pain, it's almost suicidal. Yes, American Idol's original sweetheart asks God "Can you feel how cold I am? Do you cry like I do? Are you lonely up there by yourself? Like I have felt all my life?" and "Are you there watching me/As I lie here on this floor? Do you cry with me/cry with me tonight?" It's heart breaking and beautiful.

While the album failed to create the singles and sales that Breakaway did, it's vastly more personal. Both Kelly and Pink have continued to work with Max Martin and Dr Luke (as have other hit making chicas like Avril Lavigne, The Veronicas and Katy Perry) and they have created some major hits. But the difference between those hits and the hits of Carole King or Joni Mitchell is that they aren't always their own words, their own stories. In the pop world it is hard to sell your own voice, but it's how you make that connection.

Post Script: Kelly Clarkson worked with a new songwriting giant Ryan Tedder on a track for her All I Ever Wanted called "Already Gone" It is great example of how a singer/songwriter can be paired with a songwriting producer and create a masterpiece. If only Tedder hadn't used a similar track for a Beyonce single a few months later. Lyrically, Kelly explores the pain of breaking up with someone who loves you but you know you are not able to love back in the right way. It's something that I know about, and something people I know have really related to.

Pink released her Greatest Hits... So Far!! with new singles written with Max Martin and his newest collaborator Shellback. Both "Raise Your Glass" and "Fuckin' Perfect" shows the political Pink, finding her siding once again with the underdogs and bullied of the world. Collaboration can create fine music.

These are the songs that make Kelly and Pink Girls Like Us:

"Irvine" (from Kelly's My December)

"Who Knew" (from Pink's I'm Not Dead)

"Already Gone" (from Kelly's All I Ever Wanted)

"Fuckin' Perfect" [uncensored version] (from Pink's Greatest Hits... So Far!!)

Pink - Fuckin Perfect - Official Music Video found on Pop

Girls Like Us: Kelly Clarkson, P!nk & the Max Martin Factor (Pt 1)

2011-02-15T11:49:00.002-05:00

In many ways, I've felt like Kelly Clarkson sings my life. Just like Taylor Swift yesterday, Kelly Clarkson has sung so many songs that tell my story and tell the story of so many young women and men. That could make her one of the Girls Like Us. I also would posit that Pink could make the same claim.

Kelly made a splashy entrance into the pop world with her win on the inaugural season of rating juggernaut American Idol in 2002. Her debut album was the usual pop fare, with 16 producer credits and 26 writers (including Clarkson herself on 4 tracks.) It produced a couple of decent singles, including the smash "Miss Independent" which was originally written with Christina Aguilera in mind. While the result was pleasant pop/rock music with r&b undertones the only saving grace was Kelly amazing voice.

In a similar vein Pink released her debut album Can't Take Me Home in 2000. Like Kelly's debut, the album had a strong theme but didn't seem connected to the artist in any way. With 8 producers and one song alone boasting 9 writers, it was a standard pop release with very little artistic aim. One way Pink did put her stamp on it was with her brash attitude, which would remain a recurring theme on her later releases.

In 2001 Pink released her sophomore disc M!ssundaztood. This time the young pop star took more control, contacting Linda Perry of 4 Non-Blondes out of the blue to ask her to produce some songs. The album had a blend of pop, rock and r&b influences but seemed to be the work of one artist. Pink's attitude bloomed fully, with angry tracks like "Don't Let Me Get Me" and "Just Like A Pill" showing a self-destructive side that would resonate with an increasingly angry young America. Pink also showed the vulnerable side that would underscore the basis for such anger, with the tender ballad "Family Portrait" about the aftermath of her parent's divorce.

Pink would go all the way around the bend to rock on the lead single for her third commercially disastrous album Try This. "Trouble" has the singer in full bad-ass mode, but it's somewhat noticeable that her heart wasn't in it. Follow up single "God Is A DJ" is more fun, but the personal side of Pink wasn't carried over from the prior release.

Meanwhile, Kelly Clarkson headed to Sweden to record a song written for her by pop masterminds Max Martin and Dr. Luke. Kelly had hoped to expand her songwriting skills on her sophomore album, but "Since U Been Gone" was non-negotiable. Despite the fact she didn't write the song, it will forever be her defining hit. She sings the angry rock song like she means it, which puts her in a league of master song-interpreters.

She did get to put her songwriting skills to the test for Breakaway, though. She co-wrote the single "Behind These Hazel Eyes" with Martin and Luke, resulting in a blistering attack song that shows the fury of a woman scorned. She slowed it down for the most personal song of her career, "Because Of You" The ballad relays the pain that resulted from her parents divorce and her strained relationship with her mother when she was 16. It's one of the songs that resonates most with me, and I would imagine with anyone who has felt leaned on too much by a parent.

"Because Of You" would net Clarkson an ASCAP award for songwriter of the year and would be remade by Clarkson and country legend Reba as a duet.

Pink's star rises again, Kelly's falters: tomorrow in Part 2.

These are the songs that make Pink and Kelly Girls Like Us:
"Family Portrait" (from Pink's M!ssundaztood)

"Don't Let Me Get Me" (from Pink's M!ssundaztood)

"Because Of You" (from Kelly's Breakaway)

"Behind These Hazel Eyes" (from Kelly's Breakaway)

Girls Like Us: Taylor Swift

2011-02-14T11:08:00.005-05:00

Anyone who knows me knew that Taylor Swift was going to be one my modern day Gi rls Like Us. Despite being just 21, Taylor has been telling the stories of every young woman's life.

Bursting onto the country scene in 2006 with an debut album co-written by Swift with Lisa Rose. The album featured plenty of songs about young loves won and lost. Her first single, despite being named after country superstar Tim McGraw, is a universal tale of music transporting people back to place of romance.

But it was the follow up single, "Teardrops On My Guitar" that really took her onto the mainstream radar. A tragic tale of unrequited love, "Teardrops" tells the story of Taylor's crush on Drew. What could have been sappy and immature was instead, once again, universal and heart wrenching. Even as a 24-year-old man I knew exactly what she was talking about. "He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right. I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night." Who among us hasn't felt the sting of nonreciprocated emotion and knows that place Taylor is coming from.

Of Sheila Weller's Girls Like Us, Taylor reminds me most of Carly Simon. Not just because she has dated a series of Hollywood hotties like Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhal and Joe Jonas, but because she's not afraid to use her back story to create art. When her heart is broken, she writes angry songs like "Should've Said No" and "Forever And Always" or sad ones like "You're Not Sorry." When she's in love, beautiful emotion rolls off songs like "Love Story" and "Our Song." When she's secretly crushing, songs like "Teardrops" or "You Belong With Me" she speaks the same language as the rest of us - hurt, disbelief, hope and fear.

But even though she is so young, songs like "Back To December" show a mature woman realizing the mistakes she's made in a relationship, "White Horse" has her rejecting old stirrings brought on by a careless ex-lover in a startling grownup way and "Fifteen" finds Taylor counseling a young person to anticipate that things are not always what they seem in your youth - "in your life you'll do greater things than dating the boy on the football team, I didn't know it at fifteen."

I've said it before somewhat facetiously, but I actually mean it. Taylor Swift sings our lives. Like Loretta Lynn or Dolly Parton before, Taylor embodies what country music can do greatly - tell true stories about real life that we all know.

These are the songs of a Girl Like Us:
"White Horse" (from Fearless)

"Teardrops On My Guitar" (from Taylor Swift)

"Back To December" (from Speak Now)

Where Are Today's Girls Like Us?

2011-02-13T12:16:00.008-05:00

I recently finished reading Sheila Weller's 2008 triple biography Girls Like Us. Subtitled "Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon and the Journey of a Generation" the book recounts in detail the turbulent life, times and interactions of three of the most influential female singer-songwriters of the 1970s. These women are the stuff of legends.

Carly is the poor little rich girl whose sensuality and free-spirited attitude buoyed her and colored her musical legacy of songs both intimate and emotive. The storied life that led her to blast her famous lovers in "You're So Vain" and weep for the costs of modern romance on "We Have No Secrets" leads her to a marriage to junkie James Taylor and a tour and duet intended to salvage their relationship.

Meanwhile Joni is still reeling from giving her illegitimate daughter up for adoption and channels that hurt, pain and confusion into deeply personal lyrics. The steely strength she develops causes deep rifts with each man that enters her life, but created masterpieces of music.

And Carole is a young mother forced into an early marriage to avoid scandal. Writing the melodies and her husband writing the lyrics, they created some of the greatest pop songs in history. As if inspiring and co-creating "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" wasn't enough, she went on the record one of the classic LPs of all time, Tapestry.

The three ladies connected with a primarily female audience, telling their stories through song and giving a voice to the strong wellspring of emotion in a woman. That is the key to their success, they weren't parroting the words of a male-written song while a man drove their sound, look and career. That allowed them to connect, to become Girls Like Us.

These women inspired their peers and women to come with the talent and drive required to thrive in a male dominated industry. They paved the way for social changes in the music industry, but that door remains merely cracked open and is need of being blown off the hinges.

Women in pop music are sold as sex objects as much as musicians. Taking control one's sexuality is one of the central premises of Girls Like Us. However, the fact that, of the women that appeared on VH1's Top 100 Artists of All Time list (including Joni), their looks are just as discussed as their talent is sad and telling. And while some women have taken the reins on the production end of their songs and albums, it is rare for a women to produce (i.e. boss around) male artists.

Who is taking the reins now? All this week on Pictures And Conversations we are gonna look at the Girls Like Us 2011, the female artists who are telling the story of the women of today and the future.

Nicki Minaj's Fairy Tale Come True...

2011-01-28T23:02:00.004-05:00

Nicki Minaj plays the king of her own fairy tale in her new video for "Moment 4 Life" Nicki's solo videos have been sleek, brightly colored affairs with thin but pretty plots. Her samurai warrior in "Your Love" and the angry girlfriend in "Right Thru Me" showed the soft side of Nicki but "Moment 4 Life" allows Nicki to play both her girly Barbie role and that of her Fairy Godmother.
It's a delight. Watch:

Nicki Minaj - New Music - More Music Videos

Ke$ha + Andre 3000 + A Beat So Fat Gonna Make Me Come... Over To Your Place = Rediculously Awesome

2011-01-24T22:33:00.003-05:00

K-Dolla's latest EP Cannibal is pretty much an extension of her trashy debut. But possible second single "Sleazy" has a really hard beat and finds Ke$ha rapping. It's fine as-is, but once you add Andre 3000's verse it's really hardcore hotness. Listen:

The Greatest Britney Spears Covers!

2011-01-23T14:50:00.003-05:00

While we're waiting around for Britney to finish the new video for "Hold It Against Me" (and release the second single from her upcoming album) let's enjoy some hot covers of her greatest hits, mkay?

Lily Allen - "Womanizer"

All-American Rejects - "Womanizer"

Yael Naim - "Toxic"

Marty Casey - "...Baby, One More Time"

Boyce Avenue - "Circus/Just Dance"

Trashy Thursdays: Daniel Bedingfield - "If You're Not The One"

2011-01-20T14:18:00.000-05:00

Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works that are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!

Remember the days when Natasha Bedingfield was "Daniel's little sister"? Now the tables have flipped and Natasha has had more hits in the US than her brother. But those heady days in 2003 when he was a sexy little Brit-popper with a lovely falsetto and a ballad so earnest it goes right past cheesy, past trashy and right into amazing. "If You're Not The One" pulls all the right heartstrings, is there any lyric more inspirational/stalkery than "and I pray you're the one I build my home with"?

He wants you to be the one he dies with! Gah, it's so cute I wanna vomit up tears. Or get a restraining order.

How Do You Burlesque?

2011-01-19T15:18:00.005-05:00

I finally got around to seeing the much-discussed movie musical Burlesque the other afternoon. The film is a delightful romp, if you don't look too close at the weak and overplayed plot.

Christina Aguilera is perfectly serviceable as Ali, a young girl from Ohio who drops her job as a waitress and buys a ticket to LA to find fame and fortune. It's a tale as old as film, but director Steve Antin does manage to obscure the frequently used plot under a layer of glitz and feathers. When Ali doesn't find a singing job during her first day in LA, she is intrigued by a glimpse of dancer Coco lounging on a balcony outside Cher's club.

The plot goes into overdrive, Ali forces her way into a waitress job and then her rented room is burglarized, leading her to stay with the bartender. When she realizes he isn't gay, a flirtatious friendship emerges. She lucks into an audition for a dancing position, then a singing job and a romance with Grey's Anatomy's Eric Dane. Dane's Marcus wants to buy out the club, but Cher isn't selling. Even as her ex-husband and business partner (played Peter Gallager's Eyebrows) tries to talk her into it, because (plot point!) the business isn't making any money.

In the end, Cher [SPOILER ALERT] doesn't have to sell the Burlesque club and Christina is a stripping/dancing/singing triple threat and Stanley Tucci is funny as hell. So all is well, but the real reason to see Burlesque is for the amazing musical numbers. Cher and Christina each have a show stopping ballad and there are several jazzy stripteases. Plus, Cam Gigandent's naked with just a box of Famous Amos covering his cookies.

Does Anybody Else Remember Fefe Dobson?

2011-01-18T15:43:00.000-05:00

OK, back in 2003 when I was huminahumina years old I was a TRL junkie. A little old for Carson Daly and boy band mania, but I wasn't allowed to watch MTV as a kid so I had to make up for lost time.

Anyhoo, I remember this Canadian pop/rock singer (kinda like Avril with a darker complexion) named Fefe Dobson and single "Take Me Away" which peaked on the Billboard Hot 100 at a dismal 87. I loved it. I had the album. Her career never really took off, and attaching her single to the Scarlett Johansson/Chris Evans bomb The Perfect Score didn't help.

She managed to get a few songs from a scrapped second album recorded by teen-pop stars like Jordin Sparks, Hannah Montana and Selene Gomez & The Scene before recording a new album. Her newest release, Joy, came out in November and the lead single "Stutterin'" goes in a more poppy style like The Veronicas or Aly & AJ. I'm kinda digging it. Thoughts?

Trashy Thursday: Chris Crocker - "Freak Of Nature"

2011-01-13T13:42:00.000-05:00

Chris Crocker - Freak of Nature OFFICIAL (uncensored) MUSIC VIDEO!! from chris crocker on Vimeo.

Which Albums Are You Looking Forward To In 2011?

2011-01-12T12:14:00.006-05:00

There are lots of superstars and indie faves slated to release new albums this year!

The one I'm most excited for is Lady Gaga's Born This Way, due May 23. Elton John says the title track will be a gay anthem like no other, that single releases on the eve of Valentines Day and rumor has it Gaga will be performing it at the Grammy's that night. Her last two albums have been nothing short of perfect, and I expect good thing!

Another Pictures & Conversations fave, the legendary Ms. Britney Spears, has just released a lead single from her as-yet-untitled seventh studio album. "Hold It Against Me" leaves a good taste in my mouth for the rest of the album, especially if her producers continue in this dub-step vein. Rumored to release March 15.

No Doubt are set to release a new one this year as well. Details are skimpy, and I can't help but wonder if Gwen Stefani's solo work will be an influence on the bands sound.

Other pop stars rumored to be releasing new shizzle in 2011 are Beyonce and Kelly Clarkson. Let's hope there are no "Already Gone"/"Halo" issues this go round! Also, new discs from Avril Lavigne, Gorrillaz and comedy music troupe The Lonely Island. Amy Winehouse in performing again, which may lead to a new album.

From a less glossy pop world, I'm very excited for new music from Adele. Her sophomore disc 21 comes out in less than two weeks. "Rolling In The Deep" landed on my top songs of last year, it's a departure from "Hometown Glory" and "Chasing Pavements" but feels like it comes from the same headspace.

Santigold and Patrick Wolf have albums in the works, and REM is slated to release Collapse Into Now this spring.

From the rap scene, Jay-Z and Kanye West have teamed for a EP called Watch The Throne. I'm not sure I can handle any more Yeezy. But what about Wheezy? The prolific Lil Wayne is also working on a possible new album.

So, what albums have you marking your calendars?

Line Fillers: Drake on "What's My Name?"

2011-01-11T11:15:00.000-05:00

Did you ever get the feeling a rapper is just filling a couple bars with idiotic nonsense for C.R.E.A.M.? What, they all do it? Well, let's explore:

"I heard you good with them soft lips"
Aww, thanks. I pride myself on my ability to... kiss. Wink, nudge.

"Yeah, you know word of mouth"
Word of mouth? Ah! It's a pun. You're so funny. Or should I say punny.

"The square root of 69 is 8 something"
You're a math whiz, it's actually 8.30662386. I had to Google that. I'm not sure what point you're trying to make?

"Cuz I've been tryina work it out, Aaaah"
Really? Couldn't finish that line, so you went with throat exam sound effects? Unless maybe you bruise your esophagus 69ing. Yeah, I got your dirty joke, Drakey poo.

"Good weed, white wine"
You know what? I thought you said Good Weave. I thought it was tip on a hair salon.

"I come alive in the night time, okay, away we go"
Where we going? Where we going?

"Only thing we have on is the radio"
Way to steal a double entendre from country star Gary Allan. Jeez, Drake.

"ooooh, let it play, say you gotta leave
but I know you wanna stay"
Yes, cuz this pick up line contest is just getting me all hot and bothered.

"You just waiting on the traffic jam to finish, girl"
Wait, I thought it was nighttime? Is there a Penn State game?

"The things we could do in twenty minutes, girl"
Really? Twenty minutes? Some kind of stud you are. And did you just rhyme "girl" with "girl?" I am disappoint.

"Say my name, say my name"
When no one is around you, say "baby I love you"... wait, this isn't Finish The Lyric? My bad.

"Wear it out, its getting hot, crack a window, air it out"
Aww, what did I tell you about queefing in bed? You're gross, Drake.

"I can get you through a mighty long day"
Why, you got a mighty long... cup of coffee?

"Soon as you go the text that I write is gonna say..."
Say what? SAY WHAT? Finish your thoughts before you drift off in post-coital slumber.

PS: Does anyone else wonder why Rihanna keeps asking her Nana what her name is? Can't she just look on her album cover? Does she have memory loss as a result of dating Chris Brown? Someone help her!

Sooooo... Do We Like The New Britney Single?

2011-01-10T20:01:00.005-05:00

Britney Spears' new single has arrived!

The lyrics are classic Britney: tarty, flirty and bouncy. Yeah, the chorus is a repeat of a classic pick up line, but who cares? I'm kinda digging it. And she looks so pretty in the single cover.

The Top 30 Songs of 2010!

2011-01-09T16:10:00.002-05:00

OK people! I have been writer's blocked (pick a reason: too happy in love to write/semi-stupefied with depression/kidnapped by vampires that sparkle/all of the above) for too long! So here goes my favorite blog exercise: list-making!

30. "Sticky With Champagne" - Semi-Precious Weapons You Love You
Glam rock upstarts who toured with Lady Gaga (bisexual lead singer Justin Tranter is a friend) released their second album, which featured this ode to debauchery that is so rock n roll.

29. "Do It Like A Dude" - Jessie J Who You Are
Girls going off over gender-based double standards is nothing new. Remember Xtina and Lil' Kim's "Can't Hold Us Down"? But no one has made it sound so dirty and raw as Jessie J. Her first single, a hit in the UK, comes on the heels of songwriting credits for songs like "Party In The USA."

28. "Need You Now" - Lady Antebellum Need You Now
Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Breaking up is hard to do, but staying broken up when you're drunk and horny? Impossible. Making all that sounds sweet and beautiful? Lady A's job. Not mine.

27. "Sex & Violence" - Scissor Sisters Night Work
The 80s are calling, they are telling the Scissor Sisters to keep their sound. They do it better, anyway.

26. "Radioactive" - Kings Of Leon Come Around Sundown
That buzzing bass, that joyful chorus, that beat. "Radioactive" is just power, man.

25. "Animal" - Neon Trees Habits
Neon Trees are filling that void that The Killers left when they got all Midwestern Realness on us. An ode to animalistic rutting that have lit the pop charts on fire, "Animal" is dancable rock at it's most rocking. Plus, they have a chick drummer. I love that.

24. "A Year Without Rain" - Selena Gomez & The Scene A Year Without Rain

Perfect techno is so hard to do. Either it's too shrill or the beat plods on. Sometimes it sounds just thrown together to get gay guys on the floor at the club. But that's what makes "A Year Without Rain" so perfect. Sure, the lyrical concept is ripped from Everything But The Girl but that just makes it even more awesome. I kinda have a girl crush on Selena. She's so pretty.

23. "Raise Your Glass" - P!nk Greatest Hits... So Far!!
P!nk gives it up for the underdog with a toast to everyone who has ever been "treated like a fool." All too perfect for this moment in time.

22. "Jar Of Hearts" - Christina Perri Album TBA
After being featured on So You Think You Can Dance, this unsigned pop singer/songwriter had a hit on her hands with this stunning piano and violin ballad. Christina pours out the heartbreak in the aftermath of a selfish lover.

21. "U Should Know Better" - Robyn & Snoop Dogg Body Talk Pt 2 and Body Talk
Trading brags like old school trashing talking MCs, Swedish pop sensation and Dee Oh Double Jizzle get more and more ridiculous.

20. "Barbra Streisand" - Duck Sauce Album TBA

A strange twisted instrumental with two lyrics: a melodious "ooh" and "Barbara Streisand." The quintessential New Yorker serves as a springboard for this bouncy house tune that brings out all the hipsters for the video.

19. "Monster" - Kanye West feat Bon Iver, Rick Ross, Jay-Z and Nicki Minaj My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
'Ye has an ego bigger than Frankenstein's monster and an appetite for applause that would make Dracula blush. But he has the drive for success and a talent to back it up. But here, Nicki Minaj shines brighter than the blood dripping from the Wolfman's teeth. Every line a threat, every word spoken so eloquently and full of venom, she is Medusa and Lady Gaga rolled in one. "Pink wig, thick ass, give 'em whiplash" Points off for Jay-Z phoning it in and way too much use of the N-word.

18. "All The Lovers" - Kylie Minogue Aphrodite

Sleek Euro-disco from the queen of sleek Euro-Disco.

17. "Only Girl In The World" - Rihanna Loud
I may have been the only person in the world to like the darkness of Rihanna's Rated R, but I was quite pleased with her return to the dancefloor. When I hear this song, I feel like the only girl in the world.

16. "King Of Anything" - Sara Bareilles Kaleidoscope Heart
Some people are asses. Smug, self-righteous know-it-alls who will not shut up. But enough about me. Let's talk about Sara's brilliant and, dare I say, sunny kiss-off to such a prick. Piano pop is so passive agressive.

15. "Fuck You" - Cee Lo Green The Lady Killer
As a child I was so sheltered I thought the "f-word" was "fart." As an adult, I found it a powerful word, used best when you want to nail a point home. Clearly, Cee Lo has a point. Stax horns and Motown background vocals have never created a break up song so angry until now.

14. "Bed Intruder Song" - Antoine Dodson & The Gregory Brothers feat Kelly Dodson iTunes Single

Antoine was my hero after pulling an attempted rapist off his sister and then going off on the idiot on the news. Then came the brilliant remix of said interview that took internet fame to the Billboard charts and my playlists.

13. "Your Love" - Nicki Minaj Pink Friday
Nicki's raps on her debut album may not match the guest verses she's been throwing out all year, but when you rely so heavily on a sample from Annie Lennox and include a chorus that is one part sweet and one part hard you can't help but love it.

12. "Like A G6" - Far*East Movement feat. Cataracs & Dev Free Wired
Have you ever felt like you lost a few brain cells listening to a song, but couldn't stop listening? That's the story of "Like A G6" - a beat like a taut rubberband and rap that could be in Chinese for all I care about it. The hook is mere white-girl gang posturing, leaving a song with as much substance as Cool Whip. And I keep coming back for another spoonful.

11. "Rolling In The Deep" - Adele 21

If you ever looked at my music collection, you know I love a slow-burning torch song. The lead single from Adele's 2011 album is torchy and sung with a confidence not found on 19. Perhaps she's grown up? Add a great beat and piano and I am hooked.

10. "Alejandro" - Lady Gaga The Fame Monster
Lady G may never make a single as fabulous as "Bad Romance" but stealing from Swedish pop masters ABBA for a title and Ace Of Base for a melody isn't a shabby way to create magic. The video may have been too crazy by half, but the song grabs you by the hair and will not let go.

9. "Whip My Hair" - Willow Album TBA

Oh, Scientology! You do create some adorable moppets. See also: Suri Cruise. Who knew a 9-year-old would force us all to risk whiplash just to get our groove on? I don't condone child labor, but I cannot resist!

8. "Shark In the Water" - V.V. Brown Travelling Like The Light
The Fauxtown boom led by Amy Winehouse may be winding down, but that doesn't mean we should retire our tambourines just yet. This light and airy pop-soul single from the British Ms. Brown is a gem.

7. "We R Who We R" - Ke$ha Cannibal

Even though the trashiest pop singer since Paris Hilton (oh snap!) can't spell to save her life, and never met a glitter-based make-up product she didn't love, I find her blend of party-hearty techno and love-everybody neo-hippie message refreshing. "We R Who We R" stands in solidarity with bullied youths, and the videos image of K-Dolla falling from a building but being caught by her fans is beautiful. In a totally trashy way.

6. "Un-thinkable (I'm Ready)" - Alicia Keys The Element Of Freedom
Alicia has always has a brilliant knack for pop sounds that don't bury the soul in her voice and lyrics. This smooth-as-glass production is full of mood and a quietly dark beauty.

5. "Heavy In Your Arms" - Florence + The Machine The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Soundtrack
Taylor Lautner's well-honed abs are not the only good thing to come from the filmed version of Stephanie Meyer's bestselling novels. This cut from the soundtrack to the third film is cinematic in scope, and it's little wonder Flo's debut album was called Lungs, the girl has plenty of power residing there.

4. "If I Die Young" - The Band Perry The Band Perry

Country music has always depended on melancholic songs that reflect a belief in the hereafter, but none did it in such an emo way as The Band Perry on their debut single. After the recent trend of teen suicides, the song takes on an even sadder tone.

3. "Naturally" - Selena Gomez & The Scene Kiss & Tell

Produced by the same outfit as fellow Disney star Miley Cyrus's "See You Again," "Naturally" is teen dance pop at its catchiest! The pulsing beat, Selena's sweet vocals and that chorus that just won't stop ringing in your brain are a deadly combo.

2. "Invisible Light" - Scissor Sisters Night Work
If adding Ian McKellen to your Stuart Price-helmed epic story-song of debauched clubbing isn't gay enough for you, then you're too demanding. The sleek dance sound is the Sisters' at the best.

1. "Dancing On My Own" - Robyn Body Talk Pt. 1 and Body Talk

From the first of her three EPs this year come this tribute to the "sad gay disco songs" Robyn loves. Sheer pop beauty, sad yet dancable at the same time, "Dancing On My Own" secedes her prior UK smashes "With Every Heartbeat" and "Be Mine!" as the soundtrack for heartbreak.

The "It Gets Better" Playlist

2010-11-07T13:42:00.000-05:00

In the wake of teen suicides nationwide, it's easy to wonder where these teens can turn. For the first time that I can recall, pop radio may hold the answer.

OK, I may be putting pop songs on a pedestal, but pop stars are releasing songs that people can dance and sing along with but also encourage young people who are bullied without being schmaltzy. And while these are not the newest themes, as Christina Aguilera and Cyndi Lauper would be quick to remind you, this is the first time I've seen a recurring theme of singles and album tracks that are directed at bullied youth (and LGBT ones in particular.)

That naughty trash-pop minx Ke$ha tells Entertainment Weekly that her mini-album Cannibal's lead single "We R Who We R" is intended to be a pride anthem, a "celebration of any sort of quirks or eccentricities." It's also a lot of fun to dance to, as well:

Meanwhile, Katy Perry's tumultuous relationship with the gay community takes a turn for the better with the "Fireworks" - a Jack Kerouac-referencing ditty of empowerment, with boys kissing in the video:

Over in P!nk's world, one of two news songs included on the US release of her Greatest Hits... So Far!!! album is "Raise Your Glass." Besides quoting the Joker, this anthem for underdogs and sundry other "dirty little freaks" continues P!nk's strong commitment to gay rights. She performs the song at a gay wedding in the video for the song:

The Facebook Generation's songwriter of record, Taylor Swift includes the song "Mean" on her platinum-selling disc Speak Now. It's a simple tale of childhood bullies left in the dust as Taylor goes on to selling a million-plus CDs in a week. "Someday I'll be big enough that you can't hit me" the country-pop cutie sings, and I pray that troubles kids are singing along. Because it's true!

I'm still on the fence about Eminem and Lil' Wayne's Haddaway-sampling single "No Love" The video is heartbreaking, but as usual Wayne and Em can't control their potty-mouth, including both racial and homosexual slurs in the rhymes. Thoughts?

Let's clean our ears out with some very positive music from Broadway cast members! The proceeds from the iTunes downloads of "It Gets Better" directly benefits The Trevor Project, the only national suicide prevention hotline for LGBT youth. It's very inspirational and catchy, too!

And we cannot forget the classics, Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" has been a source of inspiration for gay people for years. In support of the "It Gets Better" project, the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles performed the song. Truly beautiful!

Of course, you know Lady Gaga will be weighing in soon...

A Christian Response To Homophobic Bullying

2010-10-31T13:23:00.001-04:00

I don’t usually agree with Maggie Gallagher. As the founder of the National Organization for Marriage, a leading opponent of marriage equality, we have very little in common. However, in a Op/Ed piece for the New York Post, Ms. Gallagher made an interesting point. After attempting to absolve herself of any blame for the recent suicides of young people bullied for being or seeming gay, she makes this statement:

“Whether you are looking at their faces or looking at the statistics, one thing is clear: These kids need help, real help. They should not become a mere rhetorical strategy, a plaything in our adult battles. Each of these teens is a child of God. And each one deserves better from all of us than becoming a "teachable moment" in someone else's culture war.”

It’s true. While I don’t think the help Maggie is offering is going to do anything but further destroy the self-esteem of even more young people who are different, she is right. They are not talking points, they are so much more than pawns in the battles for equality. They are children of God. They had stories and pasts and possible futures. They have names.

They have names like Tyler Clementi (18), Asher Brown (13), Billy Lucas (15), Seth Walsh (13), Justin Aaberg (15), Zach Harrington (19). They lived in a world where they did not feel welcome. They took the only exit route they knew. Death is a sad and ugly thing, but it’s even uglier when it’s children taking their own lives to escape the endless pressure of hate directed at them because they were either gay or someone just thought they were.

Where could they turn? At school, they were teased and harassed by their fellow students. Tyler was secretly film in a romantic encounter and had his private moments displayed on the internet without his consent. Asher was forced into mock gay sex acts in Phys.Ed. Billy had homosexual slurs hurled at him and was told he didn’t deserve to live by kids at school, even having hate messages posted on his Facebook after his death. Justin was the 5th student in his school district to end his own life in the past year, where teachers are told to remain neutral on bullying.

Nine out of ten LGBT youths have experienced harassment at school. They are four times more likely to attempt suicide, more than a third of all lesbian, gay and bisexual youth have attempted it. 62% of homeless LGB youths have attempted it, twice as many as heterosexual homeless youth. Nearly half of transgender young people have seriously considered suicide.

It’s not easy growing up different. Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender persons know this. Beyond that, whether home schooled kids or racial minorities, whether people who wore the wrong clothes or worshipped at the wrong church or just had something different that people didn’t like most of us felt the sting of our peers’ disapproval. I remember joining in a conversation around the lunch table at Broad Street Elementary in Mechanicsburg about the Stealth Bomber as a third grader and being immediately told that no one wanted to hear what I had to say. No explanations as to why my opinion on military equipment was not needed. Just a simple shut-down, at age 8. I remember it vividly, like it happened yesterday not almost twenty years ago. These things stay with us.

But, over time things do improve. We find our niche in the world, we surround ourselves with people who accept us.

The church is rarely that place, and there are good reasons. God calls us to change, to become holy people. The difference between God and the bullies of the world is that God accepts us as-is. The people of God, who are loved by God while we were yet sinners, are also called to accept people as-is.

Do we? Do we understand our role in the world? Instead of being culture warriors, bent on refashioning the world in our own idea of what acceptable behavior is, do we love and accept those around us and help them on the road to change the habits and behaviors that God doesn’t like and accepting the rest, even the ones that we dislike or find uncomfortable?

The Bible speaks quite frequently to the care and help of the downtrodden. In James we find the admonishment that “religion that God our Parent accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress” and the Psalmist says that “The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the parentless and the widow but frustrates the ways of the wicked.” There is a special place in the heart of God for those who are in need.

In the Matthew, we find Jesus admonishing his followers to not only stop squabbling about who is the greatest but to also become like children. He then goes on to say this: “Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in my to sin, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”

This is one of my favorite things about Jesus. He doesn’t mind a little hyperbole, and his word pictures are excellent. A millstone is a huge, round disc of stone, often as big or bigger than a man. They were used to grind grains into meal or crushing olives to release oil. They were massively heavy buggers, pulled by ox or mules or more recently by water wheels. These are giant, heavy stones. And Jesus tells his disciples, and in turn us, that if the only way to protect these kids from ourselves is tie one around our neck and jump in a lake then we best get to stepping.

That’s major. And I would posit that if our action and words cause a child to hate him or herself so much that the only way out of that pain and self-hatred is to end their own life, then we are in need of some millstones.

Jesus gives us another word picture, of a man who owns a hundred sheep but one wanders away. He leaves the flock, probably in the care of his hired helpers and few sheepdogs, and goes in search of that lost lamb. “In the same way, your Parent in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.”

Have we been diligent in searching for that one lost sheep? Are we keeping these little ones safe and sound?

We cannot blame ourselves for the suicides that are becoming rampant among LGBT youth. Every person has a choice, and some will choose that dark end to their path. But we do have a duty and an obligation to help those who may be heading that way to see the light of God‘s love and acceptance.

One of the simplest but also extremely difficult ways to do this is live an authentically real life. Being open about being LGBT or a straight ally and a Christian in your everyday life. I’m not saying that you have to wear a nametag that says “Hi, my name is Paul (and I’m a gay Christian)” but the less you hide about your relationships the more people will realize that Gays are not the big scary other but the guy that bags their groceries and the lady that does their taxes.

Rufus Wainwright, out singer/songwriter said this in an interview with Details magazine: “It’s true, it’s tougher career wise if you come out, but this is a human rights issue and it’s important to keep putting dents in it. It’s about two teenagers being beheaded for holding hands in Saudi Arabia. It’s bigger than someone’s music career.”

It is bigger, and it’s something we can do everyday. Don’t sit by as people demean others for their sexuality, their race, their religion, their accent, their place of origin, their financial status, their IQ. Let people know that you don’t feel the same way. Let people know that God doesn’t discriminate, and we shouldn’t either.

It’s important to understand that our words have power. In James we are reminded that “The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.” “With our tongue we praise God and also curse people who have been made in the God‘s likeness. This should not be.”

No matter how many times I have been told that “stick and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me” I never believed it. But while harsh and hurtful words can hurt, true words of comfort and praise can heal. Always keep in mind that what you say has the power to influence others minds, hearts and lives.

There is an exciting online movement called the It Gets Better Project. It’s a video series in which pop stars, politicians and regular people remind teens that while being an young gay person is no easy road, it does get better and it is worth it to stick around and revel in the exciting things the future may bring. Gay celebs and allies have lent their voices to this video series, from President Barack Obama to pop singer Kesha to LGBT employees of Google to pioneering televangelist Oral Roberts’ grandson.

Bishop Mark Hanson, presiding Bishop of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America said this in his recent “It Gets Better” video: "Sometimes the words of my Christian brothers and sisters have hurt you. I also know that our silence causes you pain...You are a beloved child of God. Your life carries the beauty and dignity of God's creation...There is a place for you in this world, and in this Church."

He understands that words have power. That we have a duty and an obligation to our brothers and sisters in Christ, and to the rest of the world, to use our words wisely.

On the flip side, one should also always take the time to listen. Talking only takes you so far, you have to listen to truly understand and help others. Pay attention to the signs:

Increased Isolation
Increases in alchol or drug use
Expressing a negative attitude towards self, hopelessness or helplessness
Changes in regular behavior or interest in usual activities
Giving away valuable possessions
Expressing lack of future orientation like saying “It won’t matter soon” or other suicidal feelings
Signs of depression, even after the depression begins to lift
Describing a specific plan for suicide

Even before these signs manifest, listen. It’s so easy to brush past people without paying them any mind. Keep an open heart and ear, you never know when you can make a new friend and increase the amount of love in this world by listening.

Other ways to protect these little ones is to donate time and money to groups that help at-risk young people. Common Roads, the Central PA LGBT Community Center, Equality PA are great local groups and the Trevor Project provides a national suicide phone hotline and online support.

The Trevor Project also provides a guide for helping someone who is considering suicide with the acronym “Y-Care”

Y is for You - you are never alone and you are not responsible for anyone who chooses to end their own life. All you can do is listen, support and assist the person in getting the help they need.

C is for Connect
Connect the person to resources and to a supportive, responsible adult.

A is for Accept
Accept and listen to the person’s feelings and take them seriously.

R is for Respond
Respond if the person has a plan to attempt suicide and tell someone you trust. If they do have a plan, try to get them to a hospital or police station if possible.

E is for Empower
Empower the person to get help and to call the Trevor Lifeline 1-866-4-U-TREVOR

In fact, program Helpline numbers into your cell phone so you have them available in a moment of crisis.

Last, but most definitely not least: Pray. Pray for guidance when interacting with people. Pray for the people you interact with. Pray for wisdom to see when someone needs your help. And follow up your prayers with action. Take it outside the church.

God is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. Are you?

Review: Jennifer Knapp - "Letting Go"

2010-09-21T13:33:00.000-04:00

One-time Christian rock singer Jennifer Knapp releases her first album since coming out as a lesbian, and her fourth major-label studio album overall. Letting Go should play well to her old fans, sounding very much like her albums on Christian label Gotee. Lyrically, the music has a spiritual bent but deals with more earthly desires. Heck, it even has swear words!

For those paying attention to Ms. Knapp's music for the first time, this album is a decent gateway. It's emotional folk-pop, a lot of strumming guitars and introspection. If you enjoy Mat Kearney, Matt Nathanson or Sara Bareilles, Letting Go is your cup of tea. I just wish the songs had better hooks, they run into each other and I have a hard time distinguishing between tracks. I would recommend Kansas, Jennifer's Gotee debut, over Letting Go.

Review: V.V. Brown - "Travelling Like The Light"

2010-09-20T15:16:00.003-04:00

It's been several months since British fauxtown singer V.V. Brown released her debut album Travelling Like The Light here in the states. I kept hearing the single "Shark In The Water" on DMX 24, and I slowly became obsessed with this new variation on the Winehouse/Duffy sound that so many girls have been trying.

It's got a retro sound, but intermingling with the girl-group harmonies and tambourines are nods to the 80s electronic flourishes and 1970s punk. It has as much to do with the 60s as Grease 2, but that's OK. The songs are sticky bits of pop fluff with a soulful backbone. Nearly every track is a sing-along, and while it lacks the epic heartbreak of Amy Winehouse's modern retro masterpiece Back To Black, there are moments of real beauty.

"Bottles" reimagines "99 Bottles On The Wall" as a love song with a great garage rock sound, "L.O.V.E." covers its romantic sentiments with swing dancing, and "Shark In The Water" is simply genius. I'm afraid America might be too over saturated with retro pop acts, which is a shame because V.V. is worth a spin. Canada on the other hand?

Florence + The Machine Is "Heavy In Your Arms"

2010-09-15T11:01:00.004-04:00

Florence + The Machine really snuck up on me. All the blogs were talking and I wasn't listening at first. But the one woman band wowed me with her "You've Got The Love" and again Sunday's VMA's. But my favorite track is from the Twilight Saga: Eclipse soundtrack, "Heavy In Your Arms", the video for which appeared on the web this week. It's a strange B&W clip with a Paranormal Activity look, with no Twilight clips. But the real reason I'm posting it is because the song is 14 kinds of awesome. The dramatic vocals, the creepy instrumentation and the haunting lyrics combine to rock this single. My favorite line? "This will be my last confession/I love you never felt like any blessing/Whispering like it's a secret/Only to condemn the one who hears it/With a heavy heart"
Watch:

VH1's "100 Greatest Artist Of All Time" - Really?

2010-09-13T13:19:00.000-04:00

I love lists. I love arguing over them, I love reading them, I love making them. I love lists.

So when I heard that VH1 would be counting down the 100 Greatest Artists Of All Time, as voted on by over 200 artists, I got excited. I knew The Beatles would be number one, because Boomers have been wacking off over them for so long that I think little babies are currently being born knowing the words to "Let It Be" and thinking they mean something important. I thought MJ might sneak ahead, but since only rock bands matter in this world, I shoulda known I'd be wrong.

But the list, which you can read in it's entirety here, pisses me off. Why? Cuz I like being pissed off. As usual, men make up the bulk of the list. Only 14 of the artists are female solo artists or have female leads.

Also, only one country artist (Johnny Cash) and one jazz musician (Ray Charles) made the list. And these men both crossed over into rock in major ways.

So who is missing? For starters, Dolly Parton, a songwriter and guitar player with a beautiful voice and major star power. Songs like "Jolene" and "Down From Dover" are some of the most powerful pieces of music I've ever heard. And while we're talking country, Loretta Lynn, Reba McEntire and Hank Williams could have replaced Van Morrison, Pearl Jam and Peter Gabriel on the list.

Moving past country, The Pretenders are the only band holding it down for the female rockers. Where are The Go-Go's or Pat Benatar? Or BLONDIE? For fuck's sake, they did everything The Police did AND had a disco hit!

And let's talk classic artists of the pre-rock era. Billie Holiday? Frank Sinatra? Judy Garland? really, these people mean nothing? What about Nina Simone? Did everyone miss "Mississippi Goddam"?

I must say, a few people did surprise me in a good way. ABBA making on was a delight. I really think they are greatly underrated. Listening to their full albums leave the listener a glimpse into a weird world of pop songs refracted through many genres throughout the world. And Justin Timberlake has a lot more up his sleeve than people see. Mary J. Blige is a gift as well.

I think what it comes down to is that musical appreciation is subjective. And what I love others may hate, and vice versa. I just hate the fact that men get the praise for doing the same thing over and over while women are presented as just sex objects with little talent.

Review: Robyn - "Body Talk" (Part 1 and 2)

2010-09-12T12:32:00.003-04:00

Longtime readers of my blog may recall that I was obsessed with Robyn's triumphant return to the international pop scene in 2007 and 2008. While America didn't get on board with the "Show Me Love" singer's off-kilter millennium pop, the rest of the world was grooving to her collaboration with Kleerup and hijacking of Dave Chappelle lines.

Girlfriend is back, with a three album cycle called Body Talk. Part 1 released earlier this year and I dropped the ball with coverage. The 7 song disc (iTunes tacks on two bonus tracks) is fantastic. Some songs are a little schticky - "Dancehall Queen" is a reggae-via-No-Doubt jam, "Don't F******g Tell Me What To Do" is a monotone wonder and "None of Dem" hooks Robyn up with previous collaborator Royksopp for a M.I.A.-style world-meets-techno thing. The girl has a thing for robots, following up Robyn's "Robotboy" and Junior's "The Girl And The Robot" with Body Talk's "Fembot." It's an obsession I can get behind if the tunes stay this good. The real star is lead single, "Dancing On My Own" which finds Robyn returning to the heart-wrenching "sad gay disco songs" template of "Be Mine!" and "With Every Heartbeat." She has a wheelhouse she can embrace. The album closes with an acoustic version of "Hang With Me" - which shows up again on Part 2 in it's pop version.

Body Talk Part 2 is a little more focused. Euro-pop curls up with hip-hop and dance, with lots of 80s influences. The first four songs create a mini-album of dancefloor fillers with heart and soul like "Hang With Me." Meanwhile, "We Dance To The Beat" is the kind of crazy that fans of Bjork and M.I.A. can appreciate. And Snoop Dogg returns the favor after Robyn spiced up a remix of "Sexual Eruption" by trading "Curriculum Vitae"-style brags on "U Should Know Better." It's equal parts awesome and ridiculous - from Robyn claiming to tell the Vatican what's up on race, sexism and celibacy in one line, to mispronouncing French words on purpose. The closing track is an acoustic version of a gorgeous song called "Indestructible" that I have no doubt will be a show stopper on Part 3.

"Alejandro" Is Here! With Dancers In Bowlcuts!

2010-06-09T10:09:00.005-04:00

Lady Gaga's videos never fail to be eyecatching, so it was surprise that the almost nine-minute epic clip for her latest single "Alejandro" would do the same. It's a much darker look than Gaga has given us before, her "Telephone" was all bright Technicolor hues and "Bad Romance" was a awash in brightly lit whites.

Taking cues from religious iconography of Madonna, Lady Gaga is alternately a steampunk inspired Borg queen, latex wearing nun and a bra and panty clad dominatrix. Also, Liza Minnelli:

The Fosse, Fosse!

The video has a military theme, with strange erotic training exercises. They also seem to have a monk-ish haircut and an abject love for their queen and fishnet stockings. As you do:

The combined military and religious images with the overtly homoerotic dancing are clearly a commentary on the ongoing prejudice against homosexuality. What that commentary is supposed to say is not totally clear, but it's a dark thrillride. Watch:

Trashy Thursday: R. Kelly & Celine Dion - "I'm Your Angel"

2010-05-27T11:06:00.000-04:00

Rihanna Plays Professor Slash, Teaches "Rock Star 101"

2010-05-26T11:19:00.003-04:00

Rihanna keeps trying to turn out hits from her Rated R disc. After the bright colors and clubby sound of "Rude Boy" took off, the Barbados native returned to the darker looks of her "Russian Roulette" and "Hard" videos for "Rockstar 101."

She goes for the scary/sexy looks from "Disturbia" but keeps it all in black and white, as well as dressing up a guest guitarist Slash, complete with hat, wig, glasses and ax. Watch:

One Year Ago, Today...

2010-05-23T09:39:00.002-04:00

...I met up with a guy I had talked to for a little bit online. I didn't know a lot about him, except his first name, that he loved Janet Jackson, black boxer-briefs and going to clubs, and that he looked really cute in his pictures.

Did I know then that I would go on a date with him the next Saturday, and not make it home until Monday morning?

Did I know then he made amazing Fettuccine Alfredo?

Did I know then we would get into a major fight about two months later?

Did I know then he was the greatest kisser I've ever known?

Did I know then he move in and make my life richer and fuller for it?

Did I know then he would end up getting a better job, thanks in part to a friend of mine?

Did I know then there would but rough spots when we couldn't see eye-to-eye?

Did I know then he was the only man I could love?

No. I didn't know anything yet. I dove in, head first and for once in my life I didn't regret it. Now we are engaged and ready to commit to a lifetime of love, craziness and companionship.

Thank you, sexykins. You made my world a better place. I love you.

Robyn Keeps "Dancing On My Own" To Sad, Gay Disco Anthems

2010-05-22T18:44:00.004-04:00

Swedish pop goddess Robyn is releasing her three-part Body Talk album series this year, and the first video debuted this week. "Dancing On My Own" is a seriously hot track, inspired by "sad, gay disco anthems" (per the press release.) And this very much fits the bill!

Some 80s throwback instrumentation, but mostly very fresh and similar to Robyn's earlier emotronic singles "With Every Heartbeat" and "Be Mine!" down to the slightly stalkery lyrics. Example: "I'm in the corner/watching you kiss her" If it wasn't so sad, it'd be a little frightening.
Watch:

Why Jennifer Knapp Matters

2010-05-19T20:50:00.007-04:00

We all live in the spiritual realm - porn stars, purse-snatchers and pastors alike. I firmly believe this. It doesn't matter whether we choose to notice, or even believe in, the things of the spirit that surround us. They still exist. I don't know any longer if the "God" I was introduced as a small child is an accurate portrait of God but I do believe that those who love mercy and do justice are walking humbly with their God, whoever that spiritual person is to them.

When I hear the word of God's Holy Spirit used to beat down the children of God, it bothers me. Deeply. God is love; St. Johns' first letter tells us this. Why do we feel the need to hate those who don't do things the same way, do not worship in the same way?

Because we are not yet made holy. People are born with evil in their hearts; this I also believe. We must choose to seek the good that God has also placed in our hearts and follow that.

After laying that bit of spiritual groundwork, I want to get to the pop culture portion of today's post. A few weeks ago, one time Christian rock singer Jennifer Knapp came out of the closet with an editorial on CNN's website and an interview with Larry King. It's fascinating, as Knapp is only second well-known Christian singer to come out as a homosexual after a career in the CCM genre.

Her hits include "Undo Me", "Romans" and "A Little More" Knapp's major label debut Kansas was certified Gold and it's follow up The Way I Am was nominated for a Grammy.

Jennifer doesn't put on any airs in her piece on Larry King Live. She comes across as a young woman with a deep spirituality who did just as I did - questioned, questioned, questioned. When you want to live a life full of spiritual pureness, you cannot just accept that something condemed by churches for so long is right just because it "feels right." Her "Take" appears on CNN's Belief Blog (read it here) She talks about her spiritual quest in a very adult way, including her fears: "I questioned whether my faith had betrayed me, or I if had a betrayed my faith." It's deep and beautiful.

I personally find a deeper connection to her music, which I loved as teenager, knowing what her struggle was. "Whole Again" takes on a new meaning:

If I give my life, if I lay it down Can you turn this life around, around Can I be made clean By this offering of my soul? Can I be made whole again?

Can we be made whole? Even in our brokenness, even in these hate-filled days and this selfish world? Is wholeness a real thing? And am I deceiving myself that God, who declared that Jesus made all things clean in a vision to St Peter, can give me a wholeness and a holiness I truly don't deserve?

Only in heaven will we know.

Will I Buy M.I.A.'s New Disc? Hellz Yeah! Will I Like It, Is The Question...

2010-05-17T20:52:00.002-04:00

I love M.I.A. I just do. She rocks my socks off, from "Bucky Done Gone" to "10 Dollars" to "Paper Planes" to "20 Dollars" I love her shit like a fat kid loves Slim Shots.

But her first release from her upcoming summer album /\/\/\Y/\, "Born Free" was a little ska-tastic for my tastes. And the video scared the piss out of me. It's really graphic and violent, and makes quite a statement on ethnic genocide. But I still didn't like the song. So when I heard about a new single (via JuiceWithJunior's tweets) called "XXXO" I wasn't sure if I was gonna enjoy it.

I should be slapped for even doubting my girl Maya! This is the most mainstream I've ever heard the world traveler sound. It's not like a Gwen Stefani jam or anything, but the beat rocks while also being dancable and it's got a catchy chorus. I'm ready for the new album!
Listen:

Trashy Thursdays: Selena Gomez And The Scene - "Naturally"

2010-05-13T13:33:00.000-04:00

Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works that are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!

This song is totally my jam right now. But just because I love it, doesn't mean that it's good. It could be... trashy.

It's by a Disney Channel star. Point one for trashy. It's got a slamming beat. Point for pop goodness. But the beat is jacked from a Miley Cyrus single. Trashy x2. It's got a good message. Pop Goodness. But the lyrics are little silly. Trashy. The video features a cute fifteen year old in a series of borderline age inappropriate designer duds while dancing against green-screened black and white zigzags and quick cuts. Yeah, it's deliciously trashy. Here you are, world: Selena Gomez & The Scene singing "Naturally"

Katy Perry Is A "California Gurl"

2010-05-12T18:00:00.000-04:00

I'm kinda loving the newly released single from everyone second favorite faux-lesbo (after Anne Heche, naturally.) Katy Perry found a new kind of gurl to sing about, "California Gurls" to be precise. It's a sunny summertime jam, perfect for jamming on the way to the beach or spinning at the roller rink. I'm really love the crazy cover art for the single, too! Snoop Dogg drops by to lend his support of every beach boys' favorite kind of lady. Katy is definitely looking to take Ke$ha down!

Anybody Else Excited For The New Scissor Sisters Disc?

2010-05-11T13:35:00.002-04:00

I wasn't sure how I would feel about the upcoming Scissor Sisters' album Night Work. I was deeply in love with New York band's self titled debut, but the follow up left me less excited. I was willing to give the band another chance, not just because the cover was pretty sweet:Sex-ay! The band leaked a sneak peak of the album closer "Invisible Light" about a month ago, and it keeps randomly popping into my head. That's a good thing. The beat is funky, yet understated and Ana Matronic's vocals are the most perfect I've ever heard them. The added bonus of Ian McKellen's voice over (ala Vincent Price in "Thriller") makes it a hot new jam.

I'm not as crazy about the lead single, "Fire With Fire." It's a more mid-tempo track, sort of a Fray-meets-Killers style inspo-pop affair. I like it, but it's not nearly as awesome as "Invisible Light" I'm really hoping it leads to a hotter, hookier follow-up single.

All-in-all I can't wait for Night Work to drop on June 28, 2010. Hottness!

In Search Of The Perfect Pop Record: Lady Gaga - "Bad Romance"

2010-05-10T13:00:00.002-04:00

Miley Cyrus Knows Why The Caged Whore Sings

2010-05-09T12:28:00.003-04:00

Miley Cyrus has ditched the Madonna/Whore thing she's been rocking of late for the straight up teen-stripper act. Her new album is called Can't Be Tamed and while the album cover has her posing as a baby-faced rock skank the title track's video is craziness on a whore 'nother level.

The song is kinda boring, electro-stamped pop/rock in the vein of Ke$ha, Glambert or Britney's "If You Seek Amy." But the video is trashy greatness. She plays a newly discovered winged creature, Avis Cyrus, and she escapes her confines with a posse of co-ed dancers. She grinds on the boys and the girls, as all winged creatures do, and basically acts like Lady Gaga without the vocal talent. (OH SNAP!)
Watch:

Beyonce Is A '60s Pin Up, So "Why Don't You Love Me?"

2010-05-05T16:54:00.005-04:00

Beyonce keeps trucking out videos from her 2008 double disc I Am... Sasha Fierce. Her latest, a send up of 1960s pin ups with her character B. B. Homemaker fixing a car in Daisy Dukes, swigging a martini in her bed and rocking a sexy librarian look while dusting her Grammys. It's campy fun, which matches the retro funk vibe of "Why Don't You Love Me?" The whole thing is worth checking out:

Christina Is Not Herself Tonight. She's Madonna.

2010-04-30T08:33:00.002-04:00

I must admit, Christina Aguilera's new single "Not Myself Tonight" is growing on me. The video just released this morning, it's really spicy and totally Madonna. As in, she steals scenes from Madonna videos and just adds shots of the new Christina fragrance and calls it a video. I kinda dig it. Dirrty Xtina is back! Oh, kinda NSFW.

In Search Of The Perfect Pop Record: "Like A Prayer" - Madonna

2010-04-26T12:06:00.004-04:00

Each week, Picture & Conversations is going on a search. A quest, if you will, for the holy grail for pop fans like myself. The perfect pop record is out there; but can I find it? Join me as I go In Search Of The Perfect Pop Record. To understand my definition of perfection, check this post.

Madonna is one of the premiere pop artists of all time. Her contributions to music are widespread, and in her songs are some of the most brilliant pop moments of all time. "Like A Prayer" is, in my mind, the ultimate moment of her career.

One doesn't have to grow up in a religious home to know the power of a massive choir, but I'm sure it factored into Madonna's use of the Andrea Crouch Choir in this record. From the opening guitar riff, to the hushed reverence of the choir "ooh"ing behind the verses, to the beat, the entire song is a hymn to the spiritual ecstasy of feeling love course through every fiber of your being.

But it's when Madonna cries "let the choir sing" and the chorus raises once more with the massive wave of harmony crashing over the listener that the true power of this track is revealed. The song continues on for a good two minutes after, but it could go on for years. It wouldn't matter - you have become one with the song and have joined the choir. I have wept in my car driving down the highway when this song comes on and I'm in the right mood.

This record is also a testament to how a perfect record cannot be improved. The album and video mix are perfection, that is the perfect pop record. The mix from Madge's greatest hits package The Immaculate Collection features a breakdown towards the end. It ruins the momentum of the song and makes it seem dated. Furthermore, covers by techno outfit Mad' House and the cast of Glee, while decent performances, do nothing to improve this song. The only comparable version is Madonna's own acoustic variation from the Hope For Haiti Now benefit. But only the original can be in the running for Perfect Pop Record.

Watch the video here.

Trashy Thursdays: "Invisible" - Clay Aiken

2010-04-15T07:22:00.000-04:00

Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works that are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!

Oh, Clay Aiken! Very few Idol contestants have been the source of such swirling controversy as the one-time red-headed geek with the voice of an angel. From the rumors, since confirmed, that he was homosexual to the rumors, still unconfirmed, that he was a backstage diva, Clay was once beloved by housewives and is still a great source of humor for Kathy Griffin.

I missed the first two seasons of American Idol, so never caught the epic battle between Clay and Reuben. But Clay's lone radio hit, "Invisible" was a totally horrible and semi-creepy jam. I loved every bit if it's sugar-coated stalker-ness and it's pre-Fall Out Boy emo-ness. The tale of an unrequited crush is nothing new, but Clay takes it to super hero heights when he wishes he could be invisible so he could watch his crush in their room. Yeah, creepy! The video is total shit, and the song is pure cheese but Aiken sells that shit! His enthusiasm for stalking this person is infectious. And that's what makes it so totally trashy.

The Deep Cuts! New Singles (Old Music) From Kelly, Lady Gaga and Ke$ha

2010-04-14T16:41:00.004-04:00

Lady Gaga released The Fame Monster late last year. Ke$ha released her debut, Animal, in January. And Kelly Clarkson is still working off a year-old disc, All I Ever Wanted. But all three have resulted in multiple hit singles, and now all three of my favorite girls are releasing new singles from these albums.

What is so exciting? If you own these three albums, it's nothing new to you. I know the music isn't that thrilling. The new single covers are always fun to check out, but these aren't anything too exciting:After Kelly's fabulous cover for "My Life Would Suck Without You" it's especially disappointing to see a generic single placard on iTunes. And Lady Gaga and Ke$ha look like they just used outtakes from the album photo shoots.

But this is the exciting part about these tracks from old album getting to be radio singles. I love all three of these songs! "All I Ever Wanted" was a Summer Jam '09 contender and with it's funky grooves it may be a Summer Jam Twenty-Ten. Ke$ha's "Your Love Is My Drug" is the album opener that really introduces us to the party queen. And every song from The Fame Monster is awesome, but "Alejandro" sounds like Madonna and the dudes from Ace Of Base had a baby and let Shakira babysit it. In a word: CrazyGood.

And Lawd knows we need need good music on the radio right now! Let's hope these three chicas get heavy airplay.

In Search Of The Perfect Pop Record: "You Don't Own Me" - Lesley Gore

2010-04-12T12:22:00.000-04:00

Each week, Picture & Conversations is going on a search. A quest, if you will, for the holy grail for pop fans like myself. The perfect pop record is out there; but can I find it? Join me as I go In Search Of The Perfect Pop Record. To understand my definition of perfection, check this post.

When I started thinking about perfect pop records, I knew I had a lot of music to comb through. From the girl groups in the early days of rock 'n' roll through the techno pop of today, pop music has gone through changes in instruments and recording processes. But one thing remains: The Hook. Today we will take a look at an old single; but with a hook and story as fresh as this morning's donuts.

Lesley Gore is one of the original girl singers. Her first single, recorded as a 16-year-old, was the bouncy number one "It's My Party." The year was 1963. That same year she released her second album, Lesley Gore Sings Of Mixed Up Hearts, which included the feminist anthem "You Don't Own Me" - a 1964 number two song.

"You Don't Own Me" is possibly one of the Perfect Pop Records. It has a sweeping chorus, with lyrics that matter. In an era in which young girls were expected to be no more than arm candy when out and to keep their opinions to themselves, these lyrics were practically unheard of:

Please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display,
'Cause
You don't own me
Don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me
Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay

It's a feminist anthem - a girl's coming out as a person, not an object to be owned. In fact, it's often considered the start of the modern women's lib movement. But as important and revolutionary as the lyrics are, is it perfect pop?

The record opens with a deep, dark piano. Lesley's voice is held up by either background singers or a layering effect, creating a somber and mood-driven effect. The string kick in for the chorus and stay for much of the track. It starts in a minor key, then lifts to the major key at the chorus. It's a classic pop trick, one that makes this single a quietly strong song.

"You Don't Own Me" was covered by Joan Jett, Dusty Springfield and Bette Midler. It's interesting that Lesley, the bubbly little girl who cried when Judy stole her boyfriend on "It's My Party", would go on to record this song better than the ballsy gals like the Devine Miss M and Ms. Blackheart. Of course, even more interesting is the fact that Lesley, Joan and Dusty are all lesbians. Is the gay mafia earning royalties from this?

"You Don't Own Me" is a great pop song with great history, but is it THE Perfect Pop Record? I think we should explore a few more before we bestow that distinction yet.

Trashy Thursdays: Sean Kingston & Justin Beiber - "Eenie Meenie"

2010-04-08T07:08:00.000-04:00

Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday (duh) and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works that are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!

I hate Sean Kingston. His voice annoys me so much. Justin Beiber is a little insufferable in interviews, but his music can be catchy. The two are beloved by tweens and teens, and just about unknown to everyone else.

But when two young and obnoxious teen singers get together, the sum is greater than it's parts. "Eenie Meenie" is annoyingly catchy, the beat is hot and the chorus gets stuck in the head. It's based on a nursery rhyme, so it should. I kinda hate that I love it!

I'm Back! ...And In Search of The Perfect Pop Record

2010-04-05T18:01:00.006-04:00

Hi, kids! It's been a while, I know. I thought a new season of American Idol would spur me into a writing frenzy. It did not. This season sucked giant donkey balls, so I quit watching.

Meanwhile, I've kept my ears open for fresh, cool music to share with y'all. I still felt the need to post deep in my soul, but I needed something to post about. So when Christina Aguilera posted her new single from her upcoming electronica-tinged disc Bionic, I got excited.

The single cover for "Not Myself Tonight" is fantastic. It is one of the coolest single covers since Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You." But the song... eh, not so much. Produced by Palow Da Don, it has a passing resemblance to his masterpiece "Forever" by Chris Brown. But it's so boring, I can't even remember what it sounds like right after listening to it. It's quite disappointing; I was hoping for a phenomenal return from the Dirrty diva.

Which led me to my new feature: In Search of The Perfect Pop Record. I already have several candidates, and I'm hoping for my readers to suggest a few more. Here are the requirements for A Perfect Pop Record:

*Enjoyable Hooks: The Record has to get stuck in your head after just a listen or two. You must find yourself singing it at the grocery store, weeks after you heard it last. But you can't want to kill yourself because it's stuck in your head.

*Succinct Production: The Record can't have an extra note anywhere. It must be exactly the right length, not ten seconds too long or too short. You can't add anything, you can't take anything away.

*Extraordinary Resilience: The Record cannot be readily improved, but it must be open to interpretation. It has to be able to be covered and remixed but still keep you coming back to the original, even while enjoying the new version. It has to be able to show up on American Idol, be used a Broadway play or be featured in a commercial for tampons and still make you want to hear it.

*Enduring Popularity: Pop music is a genre, yes. But pop is short for popular, so the Record has to have a following. Whether it's widespread appeal or a small-yet-fervent fanbase, people have to hear it and love it.

*It has to be a record: There are great pop standards, and we may explore them during our search. But a great song like "The Man I Love" has been recorded so many times, we would have to pick the definitive recording to be The Perfect Pop Record. Like an Immortal (or a Hollaback Girl), there can only be one.

No matter the official genre names (pop-punk, electro-pop, bubblegum pop, teen pop, hip-pop, country-pop) if it fits the above category, it could be The Perfect Pop Record. Suggestions are suggested. Check back every Monday for a new candidate as we go In Search of The Perfect Pop Record.

PS: Trashy Thursdays are also returning! Because how will we recognize Perfect Pop unless we spotlight it's shadow side?

Idol Recap! The Boys Are Back In Town

2010-03-03T12:46:00.002-05:00

Last week, my VCR went crazy and only taped part of Idol's second night of the top 24. Which was fine, because the recap at the end looked like the boys all sucked. So I was not sad to miss it! But this week I watched the boys improve marginally. Did they improve enough to not be boring as hell?

Super buff Michael Lynch opened the show with a stellar take on James Brown's "It's A Man's World." He has a great voice, he just looks so strange up on stage.

John Park brought his decent voice to John Mayer's "Gravity" - one of the most boring songs in the Mayer catalog. John made it even more boring. Kinda hate him.

Oh, Casey James. The girls love you, I have no idea why. You're cute and all, but not that cute. You need a hair cute and smack across the face to lose that stupid perma-grin. And you sang "I Don't Want To Be" with really shitty vocals, there wasn't enough power behind the tone and it sounded like you were swallowing your words. The guitar work was hammy at best. BOO!

OK, mullets? Really, American Idol? Mullets? Alex Lambert almost makes up for his awful hairstyle by singing "Everybody Knows" with a really interesting vocal tone. He sings really well, and even though the song wasn't that exciting, I remembered it and I liked it.

Todrick Hall was the guy who sang Kelly Clarkson last week and this week he's doing "What's Love Got To Do With It?" Yeah, he's gay. He attempts a new arrangement of the Tina classic, but it was strange and lost the melody. I'm all for changing up songs, but you should keep the good parts! I couldn't tell if his vocals were any good, because I couldn't tell if he was in tune.

I do love "What's Going On?" and I loved Jermaine Sellers' fashion sense. Why didn't I love his version of Marvin Gaye's classic pop song? He added way too much extra stuff to the song. Again, I like when people make a song their own, but you have to pick the right song to do that too.

Andrew Garcia did Fall Out Boy last week, in a really boring acoustic style. This week he did a really boring song, James Morrison's "You Give Me Something" and didn't change the song at all. Does he think his neck tattoo is exciting enough he doesn't need to sing? He should've tried "Broken Strings" instead.

Oh, classic Idol karaoke! Aaron Kelley, cute as a sixteen-year-old button, singing "My Girl" like a pageant princess. It takes me back to the early days, when Paula was the crazy one and Mariah Carey was God. He sang it well, but who cares about Temptations covers these days?

I agree with the first three judges, Tim Urban has somethings going on but doesn't have the whole package. "Get Higher" is a amazing song, and he can't sing it. Done deal. He's cute as hell, looks like he's gonna just blow us away with teen-pop charm. But he can't sing! Sad.

I must say, Lee Dewyze is also very cute. He has a great voice, great tone. But he needs to enunciate better, and not pick HORRIBLE HINDER SONGS! OMG, you thought I wasn't gonna go there this time, right? Not possible. I despise Hinder, and "Lips Of An Angel" (with it's whining infidelity tale and idiotic chorus) is the worst song ever. EVER! Try better songs next time, sexy.

I am still thinking the boys suck. They suck less than last time, but they still suck. Don't care who goes home, honestly. Can't we have an all girl top twelve? Pwease?

Idol Recap! Girls, Girls, Girls

2010-02-24T16:38:00.004-05:00

I have to admit something. I was going to pretend missing all the audition and Hollywood episodes was a calculated decision, intended to give me a fresh perspective on the top 24 without knowing the back stories or what ten second clip we saw of them singing a Stevie Wonder song. But I will come clean. I've been busy with church, gym and my sexykins and Idol wasn't a priority.

I KNOW, RIGHT? What the fuck was I thinking, that I could walk away from Simon and Ryan's gay-baiting and the melisma of 17-year-olds who think Mariah Carey invented music? Pshaw! I live for this shit. So I'm back in the game, babies!

The first hot mass to step onto the little stage is Paige Miles, a 24-year-old teacher with a thing for loose-knit berets. So sad. Apparently Simon thinks she has one of the best voices, not that anyone could tell after she sang the non-song "All Right Now." Seriously, a four-year-old boy could do a duet with his house cat and sound pretty good doing this song. Why waste what seems to be a decent voice on such a non-entity?

At least she didn't attempt Leona Lewis, like Ashley Rodriguez did. "Happy" isn't quite a forbidden song like "Bleeding Love" would be, but poor Ashley couldn't hold the tune any better than she could hold her mic. She had it way too close to her face, and every breathe just puffed out of my speakers. At least it saved me from hearing one of Leona's minor singles turned into mush.

Ooh, I do love me some Heart. I love me some Shania Twain. Shania loves her some Janell Wheeler, so I expected it to be a love quadrangle. Not so much. When Janell started the verse, I thought her slight accent would give "What About Love" a country ballad sound. Instead, she couldn't power through the chorus and gave a weak karaoke vocal.

OK, I'm all about this influx of British soulful singer-songwriters that have been popping up in the US, so I was really feeling Lilly Scott's performance. Randy hit the nail on the head (for once) - Lilly isn't just copping a Duffy vibe, she seems the genuine article. And covering an obscure Beatles song with her warm and unique vocal, guitar in hand, was a great intro for the Colorado singer.

Katelynn Epperly brought a 50s rock vibe to the stage with her song, but her look was a bit 80s. And while her vocals were powerful, her song seemed really boring as it went on. I hope to see a different side of her soon, she seems like she could grow on me.

Young Haeley Vaughn looked like a Disney girl with her perma-smile glued to her face while singing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." She didn't sound any better, her vocals lacked any spice or verve.

Apparently I'm in the minority on Lacey Brown, the judges majorly disliked her unique vocals coloring Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." I thought she showed a lot of control, vocally, and reminded me of Cyndi Lauper.

Michelle Delamore's version of "Fallin'" was a very professional, almost perfect, cover. But there was no uniqueness or risk involved, it sounded perfectly pleasant but nothing exciting.

Didi Benami pulled Ingrid Michealson's pretty yet quiet Old Navy commercial "The Way I Am" onto the stage and put the crowd to sleep. I love some Ingrid, but there is no way to make that song a showpiece. Plus, her last name sounds like a certain gay porn site. (NSFW) FAIL.

I like Siobhan Magnus. I just do. Her voice is spooky and has a delicious dark edge to it. "Wicked Game" was a perfect song to showcase it, despite the judges creaming their collective trousers over some Stevie Wonder song she tackled before. I don't want to fall in love, either, but Siobhan has me over a barrel.

I hate harmonicas. I have always hated harmonicas, that is why I hate Stevie Wonder's appearances at any awards shows. Crystal Bowersox almost made me forget that. She played both the mouth harp and guitar while covering Alanis and I kinda dug it. Even though Crystal seemed to be very anti-Idol, she fits into that faux-rebel thing that Idol loves.

Closing the show was 17-year-old Katie Steves doing the jazz standard that has landed on the Idol stage so many times before. "Feelin' Good" should be retired, but every young pup trying to sound timeless drags the old chestnut out. It's a great song, but once Nina Simone, Micheal Buble, Muse and the Pussycat Dolls have sung it, it's time to give it up. Great vocals, old-fashioned performance. Her brother's cute, though.

Mariah Carey Presents The Greatest Break Up Metaphor Ever

2010-02-03T12:59:00.002-05:00

Since the bomb that was Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel failed to yield more than one hit, Mariah is back at it with a remix album called Angel's Advocate. It doesn't have a release date (and may never in this economy) but it does have a video! Nicki Minaj from the Young Money crew brings some serious sass and British accents to the new single "Up Out My Face" and the video is amazing!

The ladies dress as Barbies/blow up dolls in nurse's costumes and furs with a red Target commercial theme. But it's the little things that make it amazing, like when Mariah trips or the blond wig Nicki sports. And the song is great fun, including this gem of a break up line: "If we were two Lego block not even the Harvard graduating class of 2010 could put us back together again." LOL.

Review: Ke$ha - "Animal"

2010-01-31T18:18:00.002-05:00

If Lady Gaga had stayed the party girl with a wicked sense of avaunt guard fashion we thought she was when "Just Dance" was on repeat across the clubs of the USA and Europe, she may have been Ke$ha. The daughter of a punk-rock-singer-turned-country-music-writer was partying with the likes of Paris Hilton when she hooked up with songwriter/producer/pop music kingmakers Dr. Luke and Max Martin.

A massive blend of party jams and slow jams, all of which takes place at a party or bar or party at a bar, Animal is the anti-AA. It's rather clever, not just this mix of emo pop and techno that suggests the love child of Britney and Katy Perry, but the way every song weaves together a perfect story of who Ke$ha is. From the heartbroken party girl on "Hungover" to the still-drunk-the-next-morning party girl of "Party At A Rich Dude's House" to the geezer-rebuffing party girl of "D.I.N.O.S.A.U.R" we get the picture - girlfriend loves her Jack Daniels and parry music but also has emotions and heart underneath it all. Whether she's drunk texting on "Take It Off" or hitting on some other chick's boyf on "Stephen" or hot mess on the dancefloor in "Dancing With Tears In My Eyes" we understand she is not just a slutty ho, she's a slutty ho with feelings.

Is Ke$ha the next Britney, or the next Dee-Lite? Only time will tell.

Did You Know God Hates Lady Gaga In Addition To Fags?

2010-01-30T19:36:00.004-05:00

I know, I know. When you report on the fame monsters of the Westboro Baptist Church you give them just what they are looking for. Spare me. But the originators of the oh-so-clever "God hates fags" signs produce a hilarious parody of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" how does a gay boy resist?

As part of the WBC's new campaign against pro-gay pop star Lady Gaga, the granddaughter of founder Pastor Fred Phelps shows just how must she's studied her enemy by doing a spot-on parody of the Billboard chart topper. The songs been floating around the internet for a hot minute, but the video just showed up on the YouTubes this week. It's hysterical, from the lyrics ("you ain't got no poker face... yeah you just got your whorish face") to the insinuation that another 9/11 will occur due to Lady Gaga's concerts to the way you can tell Megan has The Fame on repeat on her iPod. Seriously, if it wasn't so blatantly hateful, it could be my new favorite song...

Review: Lady Gaga - "The Fame Monster"

2010-01-20T12:36:00.003-05:00

At only eight songs long, The Fame Monster is unconventional for this time period. A bit long to be called an EP, but has only about half the songs that Lady Gaga's first album did. But if all the songs are good, who cares that's it's not stuffed with useless filler tracks. Packaged with the first album or on it's lonesome, The Fame Monster deserves to be looked at as it's own entity.

The album opens with the massive hit "Bad Romance" - a song so inescapably hooky you only need to hear it twice to have at least part of it stuck in your head for months. Sheer pop perfection, "Bad Romance" is what techno music has needed, inventive hooks and a beat that doesn't quit. "Alejandro" is a Argentinian tango influenced Ace Of Base-style mid tempo break up song. The brilliant title song, "Monster" turns the dance floor into a hunting ground with Gaga as the prey. It's an interesting turn from the man-eating lyrics of "Love Game" and "Poker Face" and the beat is on fire. "So Happy I Could Die" and "Dance In The Dark" are less of an "event" than the other tracks, but both are solid dance pop tracks with very cool moments. Beyonce pops up on "Telephone" but she's really unnecessary to make the song an appealing club single. The two tracks that don't fit into the techno-influenced sound are "Speechless," a somewhat indulgent classic-rock style ballad, and "Teeth," a crazy campground gospel jam that is amazing.

Over all, The Fame Monster picks up where The Fame left off. Lady Gaga is a true pop visionary and several of these songs are perfect pop singles.

Review: Adam Lambert - "For Your Entertainment"

2010-01-19T18:57:00.002-05:00

On American Idol runner up Adam Lambert's debut CD, a host of big names in pop songwriting make serious contributions. Lady Gaga, Pink, Ryan Tedder, Max Martin, Weezer's Rivers Cuomo, Linda Perry, Kara DioGuardi, Ferras, The Darkness's Justin Hawkins and Dr. Luke all pop up in the credits (as well as some contribution from Lambert himself), but the album is distinctly Adam.

The disc contains a mixture of glam rock, techno pop and emo rolled into a modern blend with Adam's vocals steamrolling over the electronic guitars and danceable beats. The 27-year-old comes across as a more mainstream Scissor Sisters on "Fever" apes the icy strangeness of Patrick Wolf on "Broken Open" and doesn't shy away from the drag implications on "Strut" making this the gayest Idol album since Clay Aiken's debut. But while Adam doesn't pretend to be straight, tender love songs like "Time For Miracles" and "Whataya Want From Me" don't identify his lover's gender. Songs like "Soaked" and "A Loaded Smile" showcase the wild vocals that Idol fans fell in love with, while "If I Had You" and "Sure Fire Winners" are party starting dance jams.

For Your Entertainment, unlike most hyped debuts in the pop world, is a clear and cohesive introduction to Adam Lambert's music.

Lady Gaga & The Midway State Cover Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush

2010-01-17T11:12:00.004-05:00

Canadian rock band The Midway State are so under the radar, their Wikipedia has required clean-up since 2008. Lady Gaga is so over the radar I'm not sure how the two know each other or even what caused them the join forces on a cover of the classic Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush duet "Don't Give Up" (also covered by Celtic pop singer Maire Brennan and Micheal McDonald, and Willie Nelson and Sinead O'Connor.)

But just because I don't know how, doesn't mean I can't enjoy the results of the collaboration. I wasn't that familiar with the original, which is a shame since it is a beautiful song. So without a memory attached to the original, I must say I really enjoyed this version. Plus, it gives yet another chance for the Gaga one to show off her vocals. Watch the video, a homage to the original version:

The Top 50 of 2009: Part Two - 25 to 1

2010-01-07T10:39:00.001-05:00

25. "Russian Roulette" - Rihanna (Rated R)
The lead single from Ri Ri post-Chris Brown album is dark, moody and dangerous - the perfect way to annouce her return from a hellish year.

24. "Tik Tok" - Ke$ha (Animal)
Like Lady Gaga's trashy sister from the dark alley's of LA, Ke$ha made her mark as music's newest party girl in this Dr. Luke-penned party hardy anthem. Infectious as herpes and bouncy as a stripper's bra, "Tik Tok" is the party jam du jour.

23. "She Wolf" - Shakira (She Wolf)
It's French disco sung by a Colombian beauty, it has lines like "this is lycanthropy" and "I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office." It shouldn't work, but by some voodoo, it does.

22. "Strut" - Adam Lambert (For Your Entertainment)
It's the theme song for every Tyra wannabe, "Strut" has soundtracked my every attempt at walking in imaginary heels and gown.

21. "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" - Pitbull (Rebelution)
The Cuban-American rapper creates my favorite naughty line ("Got her in the cock pit, playing with Pit's cock/now watch me make a movie like Alfred Hitchcock") and gives me a song to sing to my boyfriend to let him know I'm in the mood.

20. "Laughing With" - Regina Spektor (Far)
Regina explores the painful reality of life, while reminding us to laugh along with the Almighty when things go wrong.

19. "All I Ever Wanted" - Kelly Clarkson (All I Ever Wanted)
Kelly may have been forced by Clive Davis to create a radio-friendly album, but that didn't stop her from playing on the edges of pop/rock a little. This funk-fused pop song, the title track from her fourth album, utilizes Kelly's powerful pipes to their full effect.

18. "Stillness Is The Move" - Solange (unreleased)
Solange samples the same source material as Erykah Badu's "Bag Lady" to cover indie stars Dirty Projector's love song, creating a brilliant old school soul jam.

17. "Dance In The Dark" - Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster)
As if creating an 80s style synth-pop dance song wasn't enough, the Gaga one drops a "Vogue" style breakdown in the middle and name checks every tragic fame monster ever, from Sylvia Plath to Jon Benet Ramsey. Brilliant!

16. "Battlefield" - Jordin Sparks (Battlefield)
Pat Benatar may have let the world know that love is a battlefield some twenty-odd years ago, but that doesn't stop Jordin Sparks (with some help from Ryan Tedder) from asking why.

15. "Already Gone" - Kelly Clarkson (All I Ever Wanted)
Ryan Tedder was a busy boy this year, producing hits for Jordin Sparks, Beyonce, Kelly and One Republic as well as album tracks for Adam Lambert. So it seems eventually he would recycle ideas from one song to another. But even after giving the same beat to Kelly and Beyonce, it was clear that Kelly's heartfelt vocals and heartbreaking lyrics created a better song.

14. "Fuck You" - Lily Allen (It's Not Me, It's You)
Lily Allen kept her potty mouth for the follow-up to her debut, but dropped the retro sound for the sleek, modern electropop of It's Not Me, It's You. But on this middle finger to the Bush administration, she sounds like a chorus girl with a heart of black hatred. And light snarkiness.

13. "Te Amo" - Rihanna (Rated R)
What's a girl to do when fun on the dancefloor turns into something more? Try not to break any hearts, even if it belongs to a girl who can only say "I love you" in Spanish.

12. "You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift (Fearless)
She might be the hottest thing in country music, but "You Belong With Me" is hookier than most pop songs and the lyrics are universal. For every gay boy in love with his straight best friend, every lonely girl in love with the boy next door and every person who ever felt the sting of unrequited love, this is your song.

11. "My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson (All I Ever Wanted)
Yes, it's "Since U Been Gone" part two. But what better song to recycle? It's a brilliant slice of power pop perfection, and there is nothing better than Kelly on her game, singing the songs of Max Martin and Dr. Luke. (Well, besides singing her own songs... coughMyDecembercough)

10. "Date My Avatar" - The Guild feat Felicia Day (Single Only)
I know it was meant to be a throw away promo for a web show about geeks playing RPGs. But it filled the Aqua shaped void in my heart and taught me the glories of cosplay.

9. "Genius Next Door" - Regina Spektor (Far)
Over a densely moving piano, Regina waxes poetic over kids almost drowning in lakes. Is it a metaphor? Is it a true crime story? Do I care? It's brilliant.

8. "Two Is Better Than One" - Boys Like Girls feat. Taylor Swift (Love Drunk)
Two is better than one, at least when those two are a pop punk band and a country cutie who harmonize over acoustic guitars and strings. Ah, I'm just a sucker for a power ballad...

7. "Bad Romance" - Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster)
It's dance pop at it's most intelligent, with forty-seven hooks and seven zillion pounds of glamorousness. If you can resist dancing, you have better self control than I. If you can resist singing along, you are not human!

6. "Whatya Want From Me" - Adam Lambert (For Your Entertainment)
It's telling that this second single from Adam's debut is a little more toned down, and little more contrite. After the absurd scandal over his performance on the American Music Awards, Adam needed something a little softer. But that doesn't mean that this song, penned by Pink for her last album, is a snoozer. It's still powerful and perfect for his amazing instrument.

5. "When Love Takes Over" - David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland (One Love)
It's a dancefloor anthem, perfect for singing along, dancing along and living. I'm so glad to have Kelly back in the game!

.4 "Dear God, Please Help Me" - Marianne Faithfull (Easy Come, Easy Go)
Marianne's whiskey-soaked vocals completely destroy the heart of any one who hears her cover of Morrisey's song of innocence lost while in Rome. The high church organs and guitars swirl around her instrument of mass emotional destruction to create the best cover of the year.

3. "Don't Stop Believin'" - The Cast Of Glee (Glee - The Music, Volume 1)
Lea Michele and Cory Monteith lead the cast of the most joyous thing on TV in a cover of the most triumphant anthem in pop history. To not love it is to admit you are missing your emotion chip.

2. "Paparazzi" - Lady Gaga (The Fame)
Love and obsession intertwine over icy Italio Disco beats on the fourth single from Our Lady Of Perpetual Fabulousness's debut disc. The fact the video is epic and the line "You're my rock star in between the sets/Eyeliner and cigarettes" perfectly describes my current boyf helps make "Paparazzi" the best Gaga tune this year.

1. "Daniel" - Bat For Lashes (Two Suns)
In this ode to nostalgic love and the Karate Kid, Natasha Khan replaces the string quartets and girl group tambourines of her debut with synths and beats. It's still creepy as hall, and the atmospheric lead single from her concept album took her detached-yet-emotional vocals to another level.

The Top 50 of 2009: Part One - 50 to 26

2010-01-06T13:45:00.004-05:00

It's a little late in coming, but here is part one of the year's best songs...

50. "One Love" - David Guetta feat Estelle (One Love)
Brit pop star Estelle brings a gospel stomp to this techno gem.

49. "Telephone" - Lady Gaga feat Beyonce (The Fame Monster)
Beyonce may have struck first, releasing a remix of her I Am... Sasha Feirce single "Video Phone" featuring the Gaga one, but "Telephone" is ten-million percent better.

48. "Throwing My Arms Around Paris" - Morrissey (Years Of Refusal)
Paris the city. Not Paris Hilton.

47. "Evacuate The Dancefloor" - Cascada (Evacuate The Dancefloor)
One of the many trashy "Just Dance" rip-off from 2009, only featuring the greatest line in techno history: "Stop, this beat is killing me."

46. "When Doves Cry" - The Twilight Singers feat Appolonia (Purplish Rain)
From Spin magazine's tribute to the classic soundtrack to Purple Rain comes this moody, spooky reading of the title song.

45. "Story Of A Heart" - Benny Andersson Band (Story Of A Heart)
The closest thing to ABBA reunion we may ever get.

44. "Whatcha Say" - Jason Derulo (Jason Derulo)
Producer JR Rotem samples Imogen Heap for the strangest r&b single to top the Hot 100. True story.

43. "Sweet Dreams" - Beyonce (I Am... Sasha Feirce)
Queen B finally goes the entire electro pop route, and proves she can take any sound to the charts.

42. "Fireflies" - Owl City (Ocean Eyes)
Sometimes, a radio single is so delightfully giddy and insanely catchy, nobody cares it's about an insomniac counting fireflies.

41. "Feel It In My Bones" - Tiesto feat Tegan & Sara (Kaleidoscope)
Yes, lesbian twins like techno, too.

40. "Heartbreak On Vinyl" - Blake Lewis (Heartbreak On Vinyl)
So do American Idol runners-up.

39. "Love Sex Magic" - Ciara feat Justin Timberlake (Fantasy Ride)
Hot funky vibes and a sick as hell lyrical back and forth makes me wish JT and Ciara teamed up more often.

38. "Use Somebody" - Kings On Leon (Only By The Night)
Everybody covered this rock track, and radio played it so much I almost got sick of it. Almost...

37. "3" - Britney Spears (The Singles Collection)
Britney + Max Martin + dirty sex talk = pop gold.

36. "High Hopes & Heartbreaks" - Brooke White (High Hopes & Heartbreaks)
American Idol '08's resident good girl takes a ride on the sunny side of Cali pop and breaks her heart in the process.

35. "Good Girls Go Bad" - Cobra Starhip feat. Leighton Meister (Hot Mess)
Emo pop band meets Gossip Girl star and sparks fly.

34. "Down" - Jay Sean feat Lil Wayne (All Or Nothing)
Beautiful techno-pop with the Weezy cameo required to make it a smash hit.

33. "I Get Off" - Halestorm (Halestorm)
Female-fronted rock band enjoys vouyerism and hard guitars.

32. "Eat You Up" - BoA (BoA: The First Album)
Why America couldn't embrace a Korean chick with fly beats and funky dance moves I will never understand.

31. "Please Don’t Leave Me" - P!nk (Funhouse)
Please don't think I'm an obsessive stalker chick, just cause I am.

30. "You Found Me" - The Fray (The Fray)
They found God on the corner of Billboard and Number 13.

29. "Million Dollar Bill" - Whitney Houston (I Look To You)
Alicia Keys penned this funky ode to praiseworthy lovers. Why can't her upbeat stuff ever sound this good? Cuz she ain't Whitney.

28. "Fallin For You" - Colbie Calliat (The Breakthrough)
And to think, two years ago I hated Colbie Calliat. But when you create a song that mixes the best parts of Sheryl Crow, Fleetwood Mac and new love, you create a winner.

27. "The Room Where You Sleep" - Dead Man’s Bones (Dead Man's Bones)
Ryan Gosling is not just that hottie from The Notebook. He's also the frontman for a creepy children's choir-guesting southern Gothic rock band. This song is creepy as fuck. I like it.

26. "Hot Stuff" - Alison Ireheta (American Idol performance)
Taking Donna Summer's classic disco hit about working girls and amping up the rock beat to match your insane whisky-soaked vocals takes more balls than a 16-year-old girl should have.

Paul And His Littlest Hag Present: The Party Jams Of '09

2009-12-19T13:21:00.004-05:00

My cousin Sarah and I go way back, I babysat her when she was five and six years old and we've been close ever since. We go shopping, do lunch and hang out all the time. She even went with me and my boyfriend to Pride this year, which cemented her status as My Littlest Hag. She's only 11, but she's the coolest 11-year-old I know!

One of our favorite activities is going shopping and jamming out during the car ride to and from the mall. We both fell in love with some random party-starter music this year. Here is our picks for Party Jams Of '09 (in no particular order.)"Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" - Beyonce
Yeah, I Am... Sasha Fierce came out in 2008. But that didn't stop "Single Ladies" from becoming a pop culture force that continued into the new year. Sarah and I spent hours on YouTube watching all the ridiculous spoofs and homages to the hand-twisting, ass-slapping and leg gyrating choreography of the video. Yeah, it might not be the best video of all time, Kanye, but it is pretty sweet.

"Bad Romance" - Lady Gaga
Sarah dressed as Gaga for my Halloween party, so picking just one jam from Our Lady Of Perpetual Pop-tasticness was difficult. But "Bad Romance" is a true party starter, from the "Ra-Ha-Ah-Ah" in the first few seconds to the the epic bridge and all the techno glory in between.

"When Love Takes Over [Electro Radio Edit]" - David Guetta feat Kelly Rowland
Yes, I have to specify the correct mix. The album and radio/video versions are too tame for party kids like us, the remixes too long and harsh. The Electro Radio Edit is just perfect, three minutes of pure pop punctuated with a techno stamp at the ends of the verses. If Sarah and I ever realize our dream of an under 16 club, this song will be in permanent rotation.

"Tik Tok" - Ke$ha
Like a low-rent version of Lady Gaga, Ke$ha has redeemed herself from the folly of singing the hook on "Right Round" with an ode all night partying. Should an 11-year-old being dancing to a song that glorifies bad dental hygiene like "brush[ing] my teeth with a bottle of Jack"? Probably not. But I'm her gay, not her mother.

"Don't Stop Believin'" - The Cast Of Glee
Led by Broadway star Lea Michele, the cast of Fox's musical blockbuster Glee tackled the Journey classic to cap off the debut episode. Show choir may never be "sexy" but thanks to the inspirational lyrics, Lea's stunning vocals and an arrangement that starts out a Capella and ends with a full band, it will be friggin' awesome. And perfect for car ride sing alongs!

"She Wolf" - Shakira
Two words: howl along. The chorus of Shakira's brilliant French Disco-inspired single is perfect to sing along to, but even better if you can time yourself right to howl at the right spots. Sarah and I can.

"3" - Britney Spears
I did not pick this song. Sarah choose it for the list, and I could not really ask her if she was sure she wanted a song about menage a trois on her party playlist. The beat is hot, though. I'm hoping that's the only reason Sarah likes it.

"Watcha Say" - Jason DeRulo
Again, it's a sing-along chorus that won't quit. Yeah, it's borrowed from Imogen Heap's moody "Hide And Seek" but it's still hot. And those horns are fire.

"Replay" - Iyaz
Shorty might be like a melody in Iyaz's head, but this JR Rotem-produced single is perfect earworm fodder for me. The melody is playful and fun, easy to remember and hooky as hell. Little wonder I keep singing it like my iPod's stuck on replay. Clever bastard.

"Down" - Jay Sean feat Lil' Wayne
First, Jay Sean is fucking hot. I'm just putting that out there. Second, this pop/R&B single is glossed with so much electro sheen I don't think you could avoid dancing like a gaysted club kid every time it comes on. And since Sarah and I know all the words to Weezy's rhyme, it's a perfect sing-along.

"Supermassive Black Hole" - Muse
You can thank Twilight for bringing this buzzed-up guitar-laden rock song to our collective attention. While other's might debate Jacob vs Edward, Sarah skips the whole discussion and goes straight for beefy Emmet. Wait, we were talking music?

Writer's Block

2009-12-16T11:07:00.002-05:00

You may have noticed the complete dearth of posts over the past month. Yeah, I have writer's block. I've never had total writer's block before, usually I just can't write about the particular topic I wanted to. I can usually find something else to post, though. Right now, I just look at a blank screen and can't formulate a sentence that isn't boring as shit.

So, I am currently writing about not being able to write. I guess that's a start. I noticed the writing quality of my posts over the last few months has gone downhill, I think that it scared me and my brain decided not to write at all. But I'm going to attempt some year end lists either this week or next and I'm hoping that will start a resurgence of creative flow. We'll see.

Til then, Happy Holidays!

Trashy Thursday: "Nothing In This World" - Paris Hilton

2009-11-12T13:24:00.001-05:00

Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday (duh) and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works that are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!

Paris Hilton is pretty much useless as a singer, but she's not the first girl to make up for it by surrounding herself with top-notch songwriters and producers to make a half-way decent record. Well, half-way decent trash-pop record.

"Nothing In This World" is co-written and produced by Dr. Luke, who is a pop genius. The song is similar to some of his other contemporaneous productions, like "Since U Been Gone" and "Girlfriend" The video is what puts it over the top, it stars a high-school geek who is obsessed with Paris and fantasizes about her. When she moves in next door, he gets her to pretend she's his girlfriend. It's cute, in a slightly pervy kinda way.

Lady Gaga Is Crazy. "Bad Romance" Is Just One Bit Of Evidence

2009-11-11T13:31:00.005-05:00

Lady Gaga is a pretty crazy artist, her songs are brilliant examples of how pop music can be both a product and an artistic statement. Her videos are sheer ridiculousness, from the house party gone mad in "Just Dance" to a subway crashing orgy on "Love Game" to a mini-movie on the high price (and death toll) of fame in "Paparazzi." Even the more ordinary video treatments of "Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)" or "Poker Face" come off as high concept fashion photography than run of the mill pop video making.

But nothing in the past has given us warning as what was to come. "Bad Romance" is as high concept as anything Gaga has ever done, with even more costumes and creepy dancing. Apparently in the Bath Haus of Gaga, they grow sex slaves in pods who are then auctioned off. Or something. The plot isn't important, the costumes are! From the diamond encrusted hat/crown thingy to the insane shoes to the polar bear cape, this video say "couture" in all caps.

As a blond pop singer, Lady Gaga has been compared frequently to Madonna. But I think Grace Jones meets Andy Warhol is probably a more accurate comparison. Watch and decide:

In case the video gets pulled, here's the best bits:

The video opens with The Haus Of Gaga Christmas card photo. I think Uncle John's making a funny face in this one, we'll take another just in case.

"Why Lady Gaga, what big eyes you have!"
"All the better to be fierce with, my dear."

"Quick, grab her before she gets away with all the diamonds!"

These close ups, where Gaga is crying, make her look so intensely beautiful.

That cape? Is FIYA!

When The Video Doesn't Match The Song: Snow Patrol's "Just Say Yes"

2009-11-11T13:04:00.000-05:00

I loved Snow Patrol's brilliant Eyes Open album, but the singles I heard from their last release did nothing for me. But when I heard this new song from the Irish band's upcoming Up To Now hits collection I was excited again!

The song is synthy pop brilliance, the chorus is very "Chasing Cars" vocally but musically it's a lot more poppy and almost upbeat. I really enjoyed hearing Gary Lightbody's warm and loose vocals over the bed of pop beats and keyboards, it creates an urgency that makes his vocals contrast.

But the vocals of the song stay loose and smooth, warm and beautiful but not urgent or hysterical. So why is Gary pulling diva faces and jumping around in the clip for the single? If he wanted to show us that level of angst and pain, he should have sung it that way. It may have improved the song, it may have ruined it. I don't know. But the faces he's making don't match the voice that comes out, which destroys the integrity of the clip. The song gets a pair of thumbs up, the video is a waste of time:

Snow Patrol - Just Say Yes

Snow Patrol | MySpace Video

A Real Housewife, A Real Moment Of Musical Brilliance

2009-11-10T13:43:00.000-05:00

For those who thought Paris Hilton's Paris was the height of pop music excellence in the new millennium, I have some news for you...

Kim Zolciak is the talented blond from Real Housewives Of Atlanta who makes Paris look like one of those indie chicks who think they can sing but obviously can't. I mean, Fiest doesn't even use a vocoder. What kind of music is that? Seriously, Miley Cyrus's "Party In The USA" might have some competition in the Party Anthem Of All Time. Because here, with the most brilliant pop melody and sheer vocal talent, is Kim's "Tardy For The Party"

Clearly Lady Gaga and Madonna can retire, Cher shouldn't even consider another comeback and Britney and Christina can stick to stay-at-home mom status because we don't need any other pop stars now that Kim Zolciak has blessed us with her gift. All praise to Jesus and hair extensions. Thank you, Andy Cohen, for allowing us to witness the birth of a live performer who will make Barbra Streisand weep.

New Gaga! "Dance In The Dark" Shows Why The Fame Monster Is Pretty Much The Most Fabulous Thing To Happen In 2009

2009-11-09T14:28:00.009-05:00

For all the gays crying into their cosmos over our decidedly unfabulous loss of marriage rights in Maine, Lady Gaga has some advice: "Dance In The Dark"

OK, so the newly leaked track (from The Fame Monster) is not about gay marriage, but it's pretty much the gayest song from Lady Gaga. (You didn't think she could top "Boys Boys Boys", but she did.) Complete with eighties synths, a "Vogue"-style breakdown in the middle listing every icon and diva ever (including a Princess Diana shoutout that kills!) and chorus so catchy I had it memorized after three listens, "Dance In The Dark" is literally my favorite song of all time, and I've only just heard it today.

I really hope this is a single, not just an album track. Because girlfriend's "Bad Romance" is so fucking hot, it needs something just as spicy to keep the glitter train rolling all the way to the Haus Of Gaga. Listen: (if YouTube clip disappears, listen at The Hype Machine)

Trashy Thrusdays: "One In A Million" - Bosson

2009-11-05T13:53:00.001-05:00

Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday (duh) and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works that are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!

In 200, the film Miss Congeniality reintroduced us to the screwball comedy side of Sandra Bullock. The soundtrack introduced me to Bosson and his Backstreet Boys rip off/trash pop classic "One In A Million"

Bosson is a Swedish pop singer who wrote the smaltzy lyrics for his girlfriend at the time, a Miss Sweden winner. It only seems fair it would be a song for the Miss United States pageant. "One In A Million" starts off with a soft falsetto over songs strings and a gently plucked guitar. The first verse is soft electro-pop, the chorus soars with the bizarre lyrics only Swedish songwriters can write. Then the rap bridge take sit over the top - even rhyming "possible" with "impossible." It's so trashy, and I love it.