My Top Ten Disney Starlet Jams

It's been a while since I wrote anything on here, but I've taken another sabbatical and then started writing some long-form fiction and tweeting my short-form shenanigans. So this is a bit of a one off until the book is done or I get bored with it. Follow me on Twitter, I'm @paulbos there, for more junk like this:

I don't think it's a secret that I don't believe in "guilty pleasures." I feel no reason to feel guilty about liking something. If I derive pleasure from items of dubious quality that is between me and my therapist. But nothing screams "guilty pleasure" more than a 29-year-old who still listens to music made by and for teenage girls. Specifically song released by the teenage girls who appear on Disney Channel shows and Disney films. The House Of Mouse doesn't have any shame in their game, they will do anything for a couple bucks. Many of these tracks are fun and silly, but when I play them in my car it is serious rock out time. Feast your ears on these:

10: "Come Back To Me" - Vanessa Hudgens

Vanessa Hudgens starred in the breakthrough Disney Channel film series High School Musical and a very public romance with certifiable hottie and HSM costar Zac Efron. But I really know her best from this slick R&B track that features a sample from the 70s "Baby Come Back." It has a great beat and fun, flirty lyrics.

9: "So Yesterday" - Hilary Duff

Hilary Duff was the first post-Britney Disney Channel star to gain radio, and more importantly TRL, play. This track was Avril-esque, thanks to production by The Matrix (who would later attempt to release music under their own name, featuring vocals by Katy Perry) and it's light crunch of guitar is miles away from the techno-pop that the DC stars are known for today - a sound Hilary herself embraced or her last LP Dignity.

8: "Confessions Of A Broken Heart" - Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan always seemed to be a little more involved with her music than Hilary, but she never got the same traction in the pop world. "Rumors" is fun, but in light of her constant partying and showing up at every paparazzi hot spot her cries of wanting her privacy rings hollow. Better is this slightly uncomfortable ballad that digs deeper into her need for attention.

7: "Ready Or Not" - Bridget Mendler

The newest attempt to conquer the pop sphere is Good Luck, Charlie's Bridget Mendler. "Ready Or Not" is a bouncy summer jam with a Fugees sample reworked to fit Bridget's younger fanbase.

6: "See You Again" - Miley Cyrus

"See You Again" was a bit of a fluke. No video was every released, indeed I don't think anyone at Hollywood Records expected Miley to by the next Hilary Duff, let alone a Britney-sized tabloid attraction. But the jam was good. The peanut butter and chocolate blend of surf guitars and techno gave it a fresh sound that would push her fellow DC stars to mine dance beats for hits

5: "A Year Without Rain" - Selena Gomez & The Scene

For Selena Gomez and her almost invisible band's second album, the Disney Channel friendly teen pop song "Round & Round" was a fun choice for a lead single. But the title track "Year Without Rain" is dreamy techno heaven, with Selena's light vocals floating on top. Gorgeous and undeniably catchy, it put her ahead of even Miley in the DC hunger games.

4: "Rush" - Aly & AJ

I was never quite sure of Aly & AJ's connection to the Disney universe, but the duo's songs were a constant on the Channel. "Rush" features a driving beat and ridiculously positive lyrics. I've sung this one at karaoke.

3: "Lovesick" - Emily Osment

This one was not a huge hit. I think the only reason the local radio station play Miley's Hannah Montana second banana was because she played host to one of their festivals. But the new wave inspired dance track is pure fun, and I would drop it in a DJ set any day.

2: "Skyscraper" - Demi Levato

Child stars are drawn to drug and alcohol problem likes moths to a flame. Demi was no exception to the Lindsay/Britney template, but it seems she took the Drew Barrymore path and is doing well in recovery (unless you believe those blind items in the gossip blogs.) Her first post-rehab single was recorded before she sought treatment and it plays like the cry for help it is. Her aching vocals distinguish this from the fluff that her peers often release.

1: "Naturally" - Selena Gomez & The Scene

You know, fluff like this. Selena Gomez's breakthrough single was bright, bubbly slice of teen pop that doesn't get it's due very often. The beat is perfect, the lyrics are perfect, the track is perfect. Stamp it, mark it, date it - I will go to my grave saying "Naturally" is not only the greatest Disney Starlet Jams of all time but a brilliant piece of pop for the ages.

Soundtrack of The Day: "Rob Me Blind" - Jay Brannan

Jay Brannan is the type of singer-songwriter that I often root for. The music seems personal. The lyrics are sometimes angry, sometimes silly, sometimes romantic but always seem to come from a real place. His last album is not yet in my collection due to budget cuts, but his latest single and video have me really thinking about shifting some funds back towards new tunes. "Rob Me Blind" is cute and fun, definitely worth a listen.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "I Wanna Have Your Babies" - Natasha Bedingfield

In the wake of Carly Rae Jepsen's hit "Call Me Maybe" and similar fluffy, fun and innocent pop smashes from Selena Gomez I was reminded of Natasha Bedingfield's UK flop "I Wanna Have Your Babies." I was a single from her first attempt at a sophomore album, N.B., which was hacked up and remarketed as Pocketful Of Sunshine in the US, sans this silly, bubbly song that for all it's innocent flirtatious was banned by BBC radio.



Natasha Bedingfield - I Wanna Have Your Babies by javierlobe

Soundtrack Of The Day: "National Anthem" - Lana Del Rey

Unlike the rest of the blogosphere, I was not in instant hate with all things Lana Del Rey after her SNL performance. Her album Born To Die was trippy and icy-cool and I really dug songs like "Diet Mt Dew" and "Born To Die."

Her next single is "National Anthem" - a real summer song with a materialistic undertones and a chorus to die for. The video has a Camelot feel, with rapper A$AP Rocky reportedly playing JFK to Lana's Jackie O. A teaser is up, with the full video on it's way soon.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Peanut Butter" - RuPaul feat. Big Freedia

Since it is both Black Music Month and the beginning of Pride season, this is the perfect blend of both. The new single from the original Supermodel Of The World, RuPaul finds the Drag Race host teaming up with the Queen Diva of New Orleans Bounce (a regional dance genre that has been bubbling just under the mainstream for years) for a frenetic pop trifle with a dozen hot hooks.

This is booty popping music at it's twerkin' best. From the opening line ("Due to the fact her thighs spread like peanut butter") to the hot call and response verses name dropping the usual designer shoe labels, this is much fresher than much of Ru's last two discs. Spread the word:

5 Songs You Hear In Country Music Hell

Over the last 6 months or so my manager has decided that we should be listening to country music whenever he is working.  Depending on who you are, that sounds like musical heaven or absolute hell.

The thing is, I used to enjoy watching videos on CMT and listening to country radio upon occasion. While I don't have every George Strait song memorized, I have a variety of country CDs in my collection and in my iTunes. But listening to nonstop country a minimum of 2 days a week, all shift long, is not quite my cup of tea. I start to notice there are a few templates that repeat. Maybe the old joke about playing a country song backwards and getting your truck, dog and woman back could be replaced with these stereotypes instead.

1. The Song About How Great Small Town Living Is
 Example: "Where I Come From" - Montgomery Gentry; "Tattoos On This Town" - Jason Aldean; "Boondocks" - Little Big Town; "Homeboy" - Eric Church

No "hip hop hats" allowed

Every geographic location has its pros and cons. A big city like New York may have Central Park and the Museum Of Modern Art and Broadway but the traffic is awful and the crime is insane. But if you listen to country music radio, not only does small town living not have any cons but it's better than any other place on earth. After all, The Big City is where bad kids run away too, according to Eric Church, when they could be sitting on a tailgate of a truck drinking beer.

But Smalltown USA is where no one calls the cops during a parking lot beatdown (this is a plus according to Montgomery Gentry) and where you can play cards on Saturday night and go to church on Sunday morning (per Little Big Town, who love small town living so much their name and debut single were inspired by it!) You cannot do this in The Big City because of the roaches that sleep in your deck of cards, and also drug dealer sleeping in your churches.

And living in a close knit rural farming community means leaving a lasting mark. Like teaching kids, helping a neighbor in need or preserving historical buildings. Right, Jason Aldean? Wait, the tattoos on this town are graffiti on an overpass and skid marks from drag racing? Well, that's good too...

2. The Song About How Great Country Music Is
Example: "Songs About Me" - Trace Adkins; "Banjo" - Rascal Flatts; "Country Must Be Country Wide" - Brantley Gilbert

Country music is unique in it's storytelling abilities and it's focus on all American values like maternal pride, long term relationships and putting boots in people asses.

That's because these are songs about every single person on earth (at least the white ones) Trace Adkins believes. They are about "loving and living [so far so good] and good hearted women [um...] and family [Sister Sledge style family?] and God [Allah? The Black Madonna?]" Besides, who doesn't like a banjo solos? LIBERALS. That's who.

After all there is a country station pretty much everywhere you could go, so Brantley Gilbert must be ashamed of his assuming that people from Idaho aren't really country. It's not like they are from Hollywood. Like Keith Urban, the traitor.

3. The Song About The Dangers of Drinking, Followed By A Drinkin' Song
Examples: "Whiskey Lullaby" - Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss; "I Love This Bar" - Toby Keith; "Nothing To Die For" - Tim McGraw; "Dirt Road Anthem" - Jason Aldean

Drinking is bad!

I actually like the song "Whiskey Lullaby" thanks to a beautiful melody sung beautifully by Brad and Alison. But the emotional whiplash of going between that and a song like "I Love This Bar" or the anti-drunk-driving PSA of "Nothing To Die For" segueing into Jason Aldean's enjoyment of an "ice cold beer sitting in the console" of his vehicle.

I know different artists will have different opinions of drinking but the switcheroo for the listener is uncomfortable.

4. The Song Objectifying Women
Examples: "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" - Trace Adkins; "Country Girl (Shake It For Me)" - Luke Bryan; "Somethin' 'Bout A Truck" - Kip Moore

Pictured: Human with objects behind her.

Sexual objectification is hardly exclusive to country music. In fact, the genre is one of the few places where women over 40 can still be considered a hitmaker. And male artists are just as likely to be seen in tight pants and tees (or topless!) as the female ones are, creating an equality of sorts.

See?

Which is why it's so disappointing when songs like "Country Girl" get such heavy airplay. Luke asks this nameless female to shake it for everyone - the DJ, the rednecks, the young bucks, the catfish, the moon and himself. But is she ever asked if she wants to shake it for her own pleasure, for the pure joy of the dance? Of course not, she's a sex object not a person with opinions or desires. Silly homo, tricks are for chicks.

Meanwhile Trace Adkins is back, this time to pimp his country ride with a LMFAO-level crappy dance track complete with terrible lyrics and a cheesy beat. He performed this at the Grand Ole Opry. May Kitty Wells never see that footage.

5. The Song By A Frat Boy Peter Pan (who is capable of more)
Examples: "Red Solo Cup" and "As Good As I Once Was" by Toby Keith; "Living In Fast Forward", "Beer In Mexico" and "Out Last Night" by Kenny Chesney

Sometimes, the world needs a 50-year-old to sing about drinking from plastic cups. Wait, I meant the opposite of that. The world needs Toby Keith to leave that nonsense to talentless white "rappers" like Asher Roth, instead of a man capable of decent records like "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like That" and "She Never Cried In Front Of Me." But since he also gave us the ode to twincestuous three ways and bar fights titled "As Good As I Once Was" I guess I am expect too much. Get your Frat Boy antics on, old man.

More gratuitous shirtlessness

Ditto for Kenny Chesney. His catalog includes sweet ballads like the tale of a couple who made it to 50 years "Don't Blink" and the totally not homoerotic football tribute "Boys Of Fall." Also included? Crap like "Out Last Night" (recorded in his early 40s) about - get this - going out. Last night, even. I KNOW! If the lazy title wasn't enough, his singing is lazy on the track and his Barney Stitson aping list of fake stories to help him get laid is even lazier.

The thing is, country music is a diverse field (except skin-color-wise) with room for everyone to come to the party (except big city folks, liberals or pacifists.) So there are bound to be some really annoying music to come out of it, just like in rock or hip-hop. I just wouldn't play a rock or hip-hop radio station in a shoe store with employees who would rather scoop their eardrums with a grapefruit spoon than listen to steel guitars and banjos all day long. That's all.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Trespassing (Live @ NewNowNext Awards)" - Adam Lambert

Adam Lambert's new disc Trespassing is upon us in about a month, and lead single "Better Than I Know Myself" hasn't been exactly blowing up the charts or airwaves despite rehashing the winning formula of his hit "Whataya Want From Me" (Dr. Luke produced pop-rock ballad.)

Last night on the NewNowNext Awards his follow up single and title track made it's TV debut. Produced and cowritten by Pharrell, it doesn't sound like anything on the radio now, which should make it a shoo-in for a hit. But alas, pop radio is fickle and despite the glorious gospel background singers and relentless guitars it may be too far from the Black Eyed Peas template radio currently plays with. Catchy chorus and Adam's amazing vocal tricks make this a winner in  my book, just not necessarily in Cumulus Radio's.

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Soundtrack Of The Day: "All The Rowboats" -Regina Spektor

The always lovely singer/songwriter Regina Spektor returns in May with a new album What We Saw From The Cheap Seats. Russian-born and NYC-based Spektor's last two albums have been among my favorites since I first saw the "Fidelity" video on VH1, and if "All The Rowboats" is a taste of the upcoming album it doesn't change my opinion one bit. The beautiful piano and the old-world influence in the lyrics is back, as are the unusual percussion choices (I swear the "drums" at the end are mixed with her vocals tics, which is classic Regina) and the intimate theatricality. But Regi looks so much more girl next door in the video, with a basic tee, blown out hair and smoky eyeshadow as opposed to the bright red lips and black and white dress of "Fidelity" or the LBD and Lone Ranger mask in "Laughing With."

But the artistic direction of the video, with the stop-motion ocean waves, is also classic Regina Spektor and I love her for following through with that. Watch:

New Video Roundup! Scissor Sisters, The Gossip & Rufus Wainwright

New music videos are popping up everywhere, so I think it's time for a quick video round up:

First off, Rufus Wainwright's new album Out Of The Game features production by Mark Ronson is scheduled for a May 1 release. Wainwright mentioned wanting to go for a  poppier, dancable sound but the title track is more alt-country. The song may require a few more listens to really be enjoyable but the video stars Helena Bonham Carter, so it's definitely watchable!




Meanwhile, The Gossip returns at the end of May with A Joyful Noise. Lead single "Perfect World" is glorious Duran Duran style pop, with a fierce chorus and drums. The video stars dancers in a medieval church with the stained glass windows turning like a kaleidoscope.



Scissor Sisters already dropped one single from their upcoming album Magic Hour, the Cazwell-style "Shady Love" The new single, "Only The Horses" is more sleek but equally dancable, thanks to production from Rihanna's cohort Calvin Harris and Alex Ridha. The sound is not a unique as their previous stuff, but it's good so I'll take it. Lyric video:

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Praying For Time (Live)" - Carrie Underwood

In these days of class warfare, Occupying Wall Street and Mitt "Corporations Are People" Romney closing in on a GOP nom, it's easy to smear each other as heartless poor-hating bastards or spineless greedy welfare queens. And residents of red states and blue states have being branded with stereotypes that don't always fit. But in the end, you cannot paint people with such a broad brush. Oklahoma native Carrie Underwood won the "flyover states" favorite TV show, American Idol her debut hit Country single was called "Jesus Take The Wheel." She should be everything liberal America can't stand. But she's a proponent of adoption and as a vegetarian she has been named PETA's Sexiest Vegetarian twice. And when she appeared on 2008's Idol Gives Back she performed one of the damning song ever recorded, George Micheal's "Praying For Time." With lyrics like "So you scream from behind your door/Say whats mine is mine and not yours/I may have too much/But I’ll take my chances cause God stopped keeping score" it's a perfect theme for the Occupy generation. Not exactly what one would expect from the biggest star in country music, a genre frequently maligned for it's "backwards" fans. Perhaps they are a little more human than people might think.

Soundtrack of the Day: "Wild One Two" - Jack Back feat Nicki Romero, David Guetta & Sia

Once again, Flo Rida has a hot track with a great hook and boring, unmemorable raps. But instead of borrowing the hook from Dead Or Alive or Eiffel 65, he got David Guetta's new best friend Sia to utilize her warm vocals to great magic on "Wild Ones" - already a top 20 hit in the US and a top five hit in the UK (where Guetta & Sia's "Titanium" has been blowing up the Offical Charts of BBC1.)

But since Sia's part is, as usual, the best bit from the track I was delighted to hear "Wild One Two" which is just the chorus from "Wild Ones" with an extended dance beat. Sia's voice works so well with dance music, something different from her earlier indie-pop output.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Can't Live A Day (DJ Tiesto Mix)" - Avalon

As a spiritually minded teenager, completely ignorant of my sexuality and the stereotypes that come with it, I loved dance music. Old school disco, beat heavy hip-hop and contemporary techno was the thing for me. Did you know that Christian music has two of those categories covered? Few realize just how easily a good little Christian boy could bug out to some four-on-the-floor jams and still praise Jesus.

The bulk of the Christian techno I listened to has aged as badly as the rest of the turn of the millennium techno, but I still jam out to boy-girl-boy-girl vocal quartet Avalon's remix album O2: Oxygen Remixed. There was a minute in 2002 when every major Christian band was putting out remix discs. ZoeGirl, Newsboys, Racheal Lampa and the Gotee label all had remix albums with some really strong remixes, and I bought that shiz up on the daily.

But Avalon's was the best, every song on there was a triumph. I especially loved the ambient techno of "Testify To Love" and the swaggeriffic Out Of Eden collabo "Make It Last Forever" but "Can't Live A Day" was the perfect blend of pre-mainstream fame Tiesto and powerhouse vocals of Janna Long. Take a journey back to when techno was for the clubs and little gay boy's bedrooms.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Something About The Fire" - Daft Punk vs Adele

Adele's "Set Fire To The Rain" is one of her greatest compositions and probably my favorite song off her 21 album. But even great songs can get a super cool update. Carlos Serrano has mashed the track up with Daft Punk's "Something About Us" leaving the world with a smooth-funk classic.

Adele's voice is so lovely in this context I would love to hear her attempt a little more funkiness on her next project.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Girl Talk" - Ultraviolet Sound

Ultraviolet Sound is a electropop duo that has been trying to break out for over a year. After touring with Katy Perry and Lady Gaga, you would think a hot single would be the next logical step, but alas instant fame has eluded these crazy kids.

But they have an almost year old single getting minor rotation on Sirius/XM so all hope is not lost. "Girl Talk" is delightfully trashy with a real infectious hook and a touch of a J-pop sound. Exactly what we've proven is what's in vogue in this post-Rebecca Black world.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "All In Favor Demo" - Amber Tamblyn

After seeing her in The Ring and Joan Of Arcadia, I never realized that Amber Tamblyn was both funny and political. But after her amusing prank email exchange with a confused Tyrese (who thought she was erstwhile Kanye flame/model/wannabe rapper Amber Rose) was posted to her Facebook page it's the tracks she was goofing around with that are replaying in my head.

Especially her Feminist anthem "All In Favor" - the line "it is now illegal to think of me topless/to keep your lotion where your socks is" is still stuck in my conciousness. All in favor of AmTam getting a record contract, say aye...

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Government Hooker" - Lady Gaga

In honor of Super Tuesday, I choose a song with a political message. What that message is, I still can't figure out, but it's clearly anti-government. Or anti-hooker. Or pro-hooker. I'm honestly not sure. But she wants to fuck a government hooker, but wants the government hooker to stop fucking her. And isn't that what we really want? To screw over the powers that be instead of being screwed over by them?

Soundtrack of the Day: "Sick" - Sam Sparro

As a little cheer up to my sick man, here is one of my favorite Sam Sparro tracks.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Rise Again" - Dallas Holm

I'm baking bread this afternoon, as has become a weekly ritual in my house for the first time since I was 15 or 16. If you've ever made bread (bread machine users, put your hands down, you don't count) you know it's a series of rising events. Mix, rise, punch down, rise, shape loaves, rise, bake. Yes, ma'am, it's a lot of waiting but it tastes so good and doesn't have unpronounceable chemicals in it. And it's whole wheat, so that's healthy and tasty, tasty.

Anyway, because (to quote MIA) I'm already going to hell just pumping that gas I sing a lovely old gospel song called "Rise Again" as I wait for the bread dough to rise... again. (See what I did there? SO CLEVER!) It's a rather pretty melody and I'm not ashamed to be singing it. Please to enjoy:

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Cold War" - Janelle Monae

Another day, another black artist with an song in their heart. Black History Month continues on Pictures & Conversations! Janelle Monae's full length debut album The ArchAndroid is one of the strangest albums of the last few years. She has an alterego, but unlike Sasha Fierce or Strawberry who exist as the sexy performer sides of pop divas, Cindi Mayweather is an android who fell in love with a human and becomes a messianic figure. Whatever, the album had some major high points even if the album as whole didn't live up to it's high concept's promise.

"Cold War" is one of those high points. One of the sadly overlooked possible Gay Pride anthems of the new millennium, the song's fast beat and Prince-y use of electric guitar belies the emotional impact of the lyrics and Ms. Monae's soulful vocal. "I'm trying to find my peace, I was made to believe there's something wrong with me and it's hurts my heart" is the moment that hits hard, even bringing Janelle to tears at the 1:38 mark in the official music video.

Soundtrack Of The Day: "Say It Loud, I'm Black And I'm Proud" - James Brown

What celebration of the brilliant music throughout black history would complete without the hardest working man in show business? James Brown is an icon and nothing makes me happier than when "Say It Loud" comes on. I sing along, even though I'm lying through my teeth. White as Wonder Bread, this one. (Sad face) However, the children's chorus that says it loud is multicultural, as the recording session went late and they had to round up kids from the suburban neighborhood.