A Few Thoughts On Prop 8, Opposite Marriage And Kathy Griffin's Mom

It's been a full day since the California Supreme Court uphelp Proposition 8 and I am learning a lot about the legal system. The court decision had more to do with legal processes than it did marriage, and I still think that marriage equality will come in short time to California.

BUT, that still doesn't make me any less mystified as to why Prop 8 passed in California to begin with. The proposition made marriage between same sex couples illegal, in case you hadn't heard. It doesn't makes sense to me, but maybe I'm missing something.

Maybe I am oblivious to the gathering storm that Carrie Prejean and her frenemies at NOM have been warning us about. A storm of what exactly? Houses being rented by a committed couple, kids being raised by committed couples, flowers being purchased by one half of a committed couple to give to the other half. I know, it sounds like hell. How dare a man try to woo and marry another man? That's crazy talk!

So, what is the basis for this fear? What kind of horrors will be visited upon your opposite marriage if Justin Timberlake finally gives in to my marriage proposals? I really want to know. My own mother (whom I love and respect, for the record) insists that all marriages should be called civil unions and that would take all the semantics out of the equation. But why all that be changed?

Marriage is already a legal state, one that has been has been constantly evolving as long as humans have been marrying. At one point it was between one man and as many women as he wanted. At other points it was only between a man with money and the daughter of a man who wanted that money. Marriages have been arranged between children for political gain. Marriages have been performed by jumping over brooms. The apostle Paul thought marriage should only be entered into as a last resort, like when you are so horny you can't control yourself. And more recently, marriage has been between a white man and a white woman, or a black man and a black woman.

Why is it such a stretch that an exclusive legal contract between two adults like marriage could be signed by two people regardless of gender? Why should the name suddenly change, without any good reason? A lot of questions, very few good answers. Why can't I visit my husband in the hospital, why can't I inherit his estate, why can't we link our names, our credit history and our hearts before God and these witnesses, just like an opposite married couple can?

What about love? This is the topic we like to dance around. When it comes down to it, when you say that I can't marry my boyfriend you are saying my love is somehow less important, less holy, less committed than the love you have for yours. That you have the right by virtue of your gender to enter a legal contract that I can't. That is what makes it discrimination. That is what makes it wrong.

I don't want this to be a one sided debate, I would love to hear a rational defense for excluding me from the marriage process. And, no, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" does not count!

Happy Earth Day!

Hello, fellow humans and English-translating humanoids! It's Earth Day, a holiday which has a lot in common with Christmas. Both days feature trees, discussions about wrappings and guilt trips. The only difference being the guilt trips are from Al Gore instead of the relatives that got the short end of the visitation stick.

But in all seriousness, I feel my inner Green Man rising forth and reminding of all the things I do right and wrong on regards to my Mama Earth. I do my bit, and here's how:

I recycle. Not just because I'd get a fine if I didn't, but because it's not really that difficult and it's a small thing. The trash collectors take cardboard, plastic, aluminum, glass and metal, that's a few extra minutes of sorting that is so worth it. Also, if you forget your re-usable bags at the grocery (like I often do) most grocery stores have plastic bag recycling bins, at least here in Central PA. Check out the supermarket near you. And if you have still-usable household items and clothes you no longer use, don't toss them in the garbage. Plenty of charities, like Salvation Army, Goodwill and local charity thrift stores will take them and turn them into cash to help fund food shelters, job placement programs and other community events. Some even pick up the items! This is a no-brainer, people. Doing good for the community and the environment? That's good karma right there.

I shop smart. Yeah, environmentally conscious products can cost more. But those energy efficient light bulbs save you money in more ways than you shell out initially. Your electric bill goes down, plus they tend to last much longer. I've been replacing my old style bulbs with the new ones as they burn out. And other times, it's not about buying something with a big ECO FRIENDLY sticker on it. Malt-O-Meal breakfast cereal use just bags, no boxes. That's a bunch of cardboard that doesn't need recycled because it never existed. And it's usually cheaper than the name brands. Also, purchase local produce. Not only is it fresher and tastier, it takes less fuel to transport and you help local farmers. Just take a second to think when you're shopping and you'll see lots of choices that are better for the planet.


I turn off the lights. Duh, it's so simple. Just turn off the TV when you're watching it, turn off the computer when you're not using it anymore, turn off the lights when you leave the room. It's so simple, yet I find a lot of people jacking up the electric bills and wasting energy out of sheer forgetfulness/laziness. Also, long showers should be saved for those days when you need that extra relaxation, if at all. Instead, get a massage, meditate or visit a park or library.

I use the web, not the post office. I have bills and statements sent to my email, and do a lot of bill-paying online. It's easier and faster, plus less paper wasted on envelopes and bills. I try not to buy magazines that have the same content I can find online, although photo spreads in Vanity Fair do look better in real life, not online.

But alas, I am not the king of all things Green. Here are the things I need help convincing myself to do:

I don't carpool. I just don't know anyone well enough that follows the same schedule and commutes the same path. If you do, I highly recommend it. Or take the bus/subway/train if the schedule fits your job (it doesn't here in the 'burg.)

I don't buy MP3 albums. I know they are often cheaper, don't waste any paper or plastic and I get the music instantly. I just have a strong attachment to the feeling of holding a CD booklet, looking at the cover art, liner photos, lyrics and reading all the fine print with producers, songwriters and session musicians. iTunes doesn't always include the composer information and never has the rest of that info. I can count on one hand the number of full albums I've downloaded, and most of them end up burned onto CD to play in the car anyway.

I rarely send e-cards. I know they are usually free, and can have music and movement. And no postage required! My problem is, I like the feeling of writing actual notes inside cards or even letters on stationary, and creating a personal item that someone can save. Or not, I don't really care. But I don't know if I can give that up. I do try to find recycled papers and cards to use.

So, what do you do help Mother Earth? Any tips I should be trying? Leave 'em in the comments!

He Will Be Your President, Too...

I wrote a political column for a local magazine called The Muse for two years, and I never wanted to discuss politics again. It's so full of bitter fights fueled by greed, pride and hatred. So I turned to the exact opposite: writing a fluffy pop culture blog.

But here's the thing: I still vote every election, I try to keep informed about the government and it's doings, I'm not a total political dead weight. So I had made up my mind a long time ago that Barack Obama was the change we needed. I may have been swayed by his charisma at first, but his plans and his desire to do the right thing kept me on his side.

Last night's acceptance speech was one of the most subdued victory speech I've ever seen. He knows he has a lot of work to do, this country is in bad shape on so many levels. But I got a tiny thrill when he commented on there being no gay or straight America, because I don't know that I've ever heard my president say something so equalizing. But it was this moment (click here for sound clip) when he spoke to his opponents: "To those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too." it brought a tear to my eye.

This country has been so divided for so long, we are so full of suspicion and hate for those on the "wrong" side of the "issues" that we forget we are all Americans. And I'm not just talking about conservatives, because I still count myself as one of you. Liberals look down on conservatives as ignorant hillbillies, conservatives dismiss liberals as anti-American and the moderates think they are more level headed than everybody else. I think we all forget that most of us truly believe we are working towards what's best for our country.

We are all Americans... and Barack Obama will be our president, too!

Chelsea Handler (and her little nugget) Vote No On Prop 8

Y'all know I don't get political on the blog, right? I wrote about politics for two years, and I'm not interested in doing it again. But sometimes there is a perfect storm of worthy political topic, funny celeb and YouTube video, and that's when I will post something about politics.

California legalized same sex marriage earlier this year, and of course the Mormons and various other right wing groups are up in arms over it. I'm a conservative person, but this is one place I differ from my Republican upbringing. People should be allowed to get married, it's just common decency. No one is asking for the right to have underage butt-sex under an American flag on the Capital steps, it's about making the same legal commitment that straights can make. Perhaps I should allow the very funny Chelsea Handler to explain:



I still think shorties should be shipped off to "Scared Tall" camps, but Miss Chelsea does have a point. Now I'm hungry for a spicy chicken taco...