Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Top Ten Nicki Minaj Lines Of 2011

I was gonna start on my list of top songs of 2011 when I realized something. I kinda hated 2011 in music. Amy Winehouse died, LMFAO killed 27% of brain cells in the world and J.Lo had a comeback.

But not all is lost! One of the music stories I've been dying over this year is the rise of Nicki Minaj. Her debut album, Pink Friday, may not have been as fi-ya as we were expecting but it did quietly hit number one on the Billboard Top 200 Albums chart and her ridiculous feature raps and outfits continued to entertain us until "Super Bass" blew me away as a summer jam supreme. Here are the top ten insane rhymes the lass once known as Onika Tanya Maraj gave us in 2011.

10.  "Till The World Ends" - Britney Spears feat Nicki Minaj & Ke$ha

"I ain't talking poultry when I say this chicken's fried"


Britney Spears had quite a year in 2011, Femme Fatale dropped three top ten hits, she turned 30 and ended the year with an engagement. Could Nicki's rap feature on a remix of second single "Till The World Ends" (which also featured the song's co-writer Ke$ha) have given the be-weaved one a boost?

9.  "Dance (A$$)" - Big Sean feat Nicki Minaj

"You fucking little whores fucking up my decors/couldn't get Micheal Kors if you were fucking Micheal Kors"

Again, Nicki pops up on a remix of an otherwise lame hiphop song, this time by Big Sean. But a Micheal Kors shout out always makes up for production flaws and boring sex-obsessed rhymes.

8.  "The Creep" - The Lonely Island feat Nicki Minaj & John Waters

"And when you sneak into a wake and you see a beefcake/Do the creep, HAH!/Do the creep, HAH!"

The Lonely Island grabbed double the queer-friendly power with John Waters bookending their stalker-themed comedy single and Nicki Minaj watching dudes undress from inside a locker. Get your arms T-Rexing, kids.

7.  "Y.U. Mad" - Birdman feat Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne

"Hi, how are you? Yes it's nice to meet me."

Bragging is a staple of rap music, but nobody lays it out more simply than Nicki.

6. "Where Them Girls At" - David Guetta feat Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj

"Pebe, Pebe, who's Peabo Bryson?/Two years ago I renewed my license/Anyway, why'd I start my verse like that?/You can suck a dick, you can suck a ballsack/No! No! I don't endorse that/pause that/abort that"

After dissing Peabo Bryson, where else can our girl go? Dissing her own rhyme skills and teabagging, natch. Nothing like a rapper who can subtly poke fun at her own ability to spit nonsense and still get a hit. Wheezy, you next.

5. "Fly" - Nicki Minaj feat Rihanna

"I am not a word/I am not a line/I am not a girl who can ever be defined/I am not fly/I am levitation/I represent an entire generation"

In a more introspective moment for Nicki, she speaks the truth of thousands of girls who refused to be defined by the world and instead define themselves. The video reflects that - she appears as a ninja and Tinkerbell and S&M Barbie with Bride of Frankenstien hair, portraying many sides of the same "strong woman" coin.

4. "Roman In Moscow" - Nicki Minaj

"I ain't on my period but I got a new pad."

Nicki releases her sophomore disc Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded featuring her most outrageous alter ego Roman Zolanski. The "angry gay guy" doesn't pull any punches on the lead single, and indulges in this slightly less angry gay guy's favorite type of humor - menstruation puns. I'm sick, I know.

3. "Moment For Life" - Nicki Minaj feat Drake

"I call the shots, I am the umpire/I sprinkle holy water upon a vampire/In this very moment I'm king/at this very moment I slay Goliath with the sling"

Nicki takes the crown as king, compares herself to a vampire hunter like Van Helsing and a giant killer like David and yet loses none of her feminine spirit. This is why I look at Nicki as part of a new breed of feminist. They don't care if they have to be dude-like or girly, they are bad bitches who get shit done.

2. "Monster" - Kanye West feat Rick Ross, Jay Z, Nicki Minaj, Bon Iver

"You could be the king but watch the queen conquer"

The creepy video finally saw an official release this last summer, and the controversy surrounding use of female corpses in it led to a disclaimer at the beginning. But there are also dead male corpses, Nicki Minaj is very much alive in the clip and it seems like an intentional amping up of the misogeny already seen in hip hop videos. Just hearing Nicki's verse, which still gets me pumped a year after it's release, shows the exact opposite intent, on her part at least.

1. "Super Bass" - Nicki Minaj

"He could ball with the crew, he could solo/But I think I like him better when he dolo/And I think I like him better with the fitted cap on/He ain't even gotta try to put the mac on/He just gotta give me that look, when he give me that look/Then the panties comin' off, off, uh/Excuse me, you're a hell of a guy you know I really got a thing for American guys/I mean, sigh, sickenin' eyes I can tell that you're in touch with your feminine side"

Bubblegum rap is usually good for a bouncy beat or hooky chorus. And "Super Bass" has both, but it also has a pretty sweet rap (no pun intended.) The verses had teen scene queens Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez in a tizzy and little girls popping up on YouTube and the Ellen show with covers of the edited version. I also swoon for Jay Brannan's Long Island accent on "panties coming awf, awf" in his cover. This song was everywhere this summer, winning a VMA and a possible number one spot on my year end list.