Wednesday, April 3, 2013

My Top Ten Disney Starlet Jams

It's been a while since I wrote anything on here, but I've taken another sabbatical and then started writing some long-form fiction and tweeting my short-form shenanigans. So this is a bit of a one off until the book is done or I get bored with it. Follow me on Twitter, I'm @paulbos there, for more junk like this:

I don't think it's a secret that I don't believe in "guilty pleasures." I feel no reason to feel guilty about liking something. If I derive pleasure from items of dubious quality that is between me and my therapist. But nothing screams "guilty pleasure" more than a 29-year-old who still listens to music made by and for teenage girls. Specifically song released by the teenage girls who appear on Disney Channel shows and Disney films. The House Of Mouse doesn't have any shame in their game, they will do anything for a couple bucks. Many of these tracks are fun and silly, but when I play them in my car it is serious rock out time. Feast your ears on these:

10: "Come Back To Me" - Vanessa Hudgens

Vanessa Hudgens starred in the breakthrough Disney Channel film series High School Musical and a very public romance with certifiable hottie and HSM costar Zac Efron. But I really know her best from this slick R&B track that features a sample from the 70s "Baby Come Back." It has a great beat and fun, flirty lyrics.

9: "So Yesterday" - Hilary Duff

Hilary Duff was the first post-Britney Disney Channel star to gain radio, and more importantly TRL, play. This track was Avril-esque, thanks to production by The Matrix (who would later attempt to release music under their own name, featuring vocals by Katy Perry) and it's light crunch of guitar is miles away from the techno-pop that the DC stars are known for today - a sound Hilary herself embraced or her last LP Dignity.

8: "Confessions Of A Broken Heart" - Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan always seemed to be a little more involved with her music than Hilary, but she never got the same traction in the pop world. "Rumors" is fun, but in light of her constant partying and showing up at every paparazzi hot spot her cries of wanting her privacy rings hollow. Better is this slightly uncomfortable ballad that digs deeper into her need for attention.

7: "Ready Or Not" - Bridget Mendler

The newest attempt to conquer the pop sphere is Good Luck, Charlie's Bridget Mendler. "Ready Or Not" is a bouncy summer jam with a Fugees sample reworked to fit Bridget's younger fanbase.

6: "See You Again" - Miley Cyrus

"See You Again" was a bit of a fluke. No video was every released, indeed I don't think anyone at Hollywood Records expected Miley to by the next Hilary Duff, let alone a Britney-sized tabloid attraction. But the jam was good. The peanut butter and chocolate blend of surf guitars and techno gave it a fresh sound that would push her fellow DC stars to mine dance beats for hits

5: "A Year Without Rain" - Selena Gomez & The Scene

For Selena Gomez and her almost invisible band's second album, the Disney Channel friendly teen pop song "Round & Round" was a fun choice for a lead single. But the title track "Year Without Rain" is dreamy techno heaven, with Selena's light vocals floating on top. Gorgeous and undeniably catchy, it put her ahead of even Miley in the DC hunger games.

4: "Rush" - Aly & AJ

I was never quite sure of Aly & AJ's connection to the Disney universe, but the duo's songs were a constant on the Channel. "Rush" features a driving beat and ridiculously positive lyrics. I've sung this one at karaoke.

3: "Lovesick" - Emily Osment

This one was not a huge hit. I think the only reason the local radio station play Miley's Hannah Montana second banana was because she played host to one of their festivals. But the new wave inspired dance track is pure fun, and I would drop it in a DJ set any day.

2: "Skyscraper" - Demi Levato

Child stars are drawn to drug and alcohol problem likes moths to a flame. Demi was no exception to the Lindsay/Britney template, but it seems she took the Drew Barrymore path and is doing well in recovery (unless you believe those blind items in the gossip blogs.) Her first post-rehab single was recorded before she sought treatment and it plays like the cry for help it is. Her aching vocals distinguish this from the fluff that her peers often release.

1: "Naturally" - Selena Gomez & The Scene

You know, fluff like this. Selena Gomez's breakthrough single was bright, bubbly slice of teen pop that doesn't get it's due very often. The beat is perfect, the lyrics are perfect, the track is perfect. Stamp it, mark it, date it - I will go to my grave saying "Naturally" is not only the greatest Disney Starlet Jams of all time but a brilliant piece of pop for the ages.