I Hear Sex And Candy; or My Favorite Sexytime Music

OK, so I don't know why I'm in such a sexy mood. A residual effect of the dirty texting I was doing last night with my current romantic interest? Or maybe it's that I'm wearing my new Very Sexy For Him cologne from Victoria's Secret. They knew what they are talking about with that name, I caught myself copping a feel on my own leg a couple of times already.

Whatever the cause, I'm in the mood for some sexy tunes. Full disclosure: the closest thing to a soundtrack to sex I've ever had was this one time I made out with a rebound guy while the film Labyrinth was on the telly. I never think to throw on some panty-dropping music before the panties start dropping. So maybe this is real boner killer music, I wouldn't know from experience. But I'm willing to find out. Your move, Captain...

"The Look Of Love" - Dusty Springfield
This pop classic was written by master songwriters Hal David and Burt Bacharach for the original version of Casino Royale, and nothing is smoother than Dusty's voice gliding over piano and gentle jazz percussion in the duo's masterpiece. It brings to mind James Bond-like seduction in a bachelor pad: champagne flute in hand, lights dimmed over low slung couches and clothes coming off. "It's a bit warm, you say? Let me take that jacket for you. Pants too, if your legs are hot... which they are." Listen Here.

"Justify My Love" - Madonna
The beat and synths work together to make your body sway and a natural bump and grind emerge from your otherwise white boy body. The lyrics put ridiculous thoughts in your head, as you start unbuttoning your shirt and pulling off your tie. It's an audio strip tease, even without the visuals of the NSFW video. I literally cannot stop myself from toying with any fasteners on my clothes by the second verse, my grandmother could be in the room and I'd be "wanting... waiting... for you... to justify my love." Listen:




"Let's Get It On" - Marvin Gaye
Yeah, it's an obvious choice. But nothing says sensual seduction like soul music, and "Let's Get It On" is a soul classic that will make those roving hands start moving in the right direction. Belts unbuckling sound great over Marvin's earnest plea and it'll give you some pointers for the soft sweet nothings you whisper. Listen:




"The Bad Touch" - Bloodhound Gang
I'm not one to find songs that just lay it out there to be sexy. I want a little mystery, a little subtlety. But by this point, subtlety is out the window, a no clothes no holds barred make out is in progress and this song pretty much matches that mood. "You and me baby ain't nothing but animals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel." Listen Here.

"Heaven (Candlelight Mix)" - DJ Sammy & Yanou feat Do
Remember that electronica version of Bryan Adams song "Heaven" from about five years ago? This is the candlelight mix, a piano ballad version that is perfect for the afterglow. Snuggle next to your man and stroke his chest hair as the pianos play you to sleep. Listen:





"Untouched" - The Veronicas
This is the song for that day about halfway between the last date and the next. You want to see him, touch him, kiss him. The sexy strings underscore a throbbing beat, creating a juxtaposition not unlike the one between desire and propriety. Desire wins, play this track during your dirty texting, or old school phone sex. Listen:




Need to cool down now? Me too... try playing this to kill your libido:

Reveiw: "Hook Me Up" - The Veronicas

Long-time blog readers may have figured out I have a thing for Max Martin's and Dr. Luke's songwriting. They have created pitch-perfect pop songs in a way not done since Micheal Jackson or even Phil Spektor. The Veronicas had a minor US hit with the duo's "4ever" So I was surprised that the Australian twins not only avoided using the two Swedes' songwriting skills, they ditched the rah-rah power-pop in Dr. Luke's most famous creations performed by Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Katy Perry and Avril Lavigne for a electro-pop sound with an emo underscoring.

It could be a smart move, after all Christina, Natasha Bedingfeild, Rihanna, Chris Brown and Ne-yo have all had recent hits with a sleek club sound. After the brilliant single "Untouched" was used on So You Think You Can Dance, Lancaster's FM97 put the track into rotation. It's the opener to Hook Me Up - an electro album that deserves a place in every gay man's CD collection, wedged between Britney's Blackout and Lady Gaga's The Fame. "Untouched" is beyond brilliant, the fast paced strings give way to a new wave keyboard tone and a bed of electric guitars while Lisa and Jessica sing at breakneck speed about a long distance relationship before breaking to sing the title against the strings. It's sleek and sexy pop music at its finest.

But there are 12 other tracks on the album! From the emo-riffic kiss-off "Revenge Is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were)" (in which the chorus thrillingly builds to a crescendo on the title line) to the bi-curious floor-filler "Take Me On The Floor"(recorded before Katy Perry was kissing girls) to the tongue-in-cheek ego-booster "Popular" ("Don't try and hate me because I am so popular" the duo croon on the chorus) The Veronicas prove they are a pop force waiting to be unleashed on the States. The girls make a few mis-steps, like on the overly-crowded "I Don't Wanna Wait" and the uninspired cover of "Goodbye To You" (recently used in a YAZ commercial) but this is one of the better pop albums of the year.

The Best Pop Songs Pop Radio Isn't Playing

Oh, to be a radio programmer in the age of Clear Channel and Cumulus Media! You have to find exactly seven songs to rotate, and BAM you have your job done for the week. It's really easy, since all you have to do is check and see which songs feature Akon, Lil' Wayne and/or T-Pain and then you have one spot left to fill with an American Idol winner or runner up (or Daughtry, in more rock-receptive areas.) Then tell your DJs to intersperse "Where My Girls At?" and "In Da Club" in between those seven songs and you have Harrisburg's Hottest Hits: Hot 92 or Here's What Hot: 99.3 Kiss FM. Yay!

OK, I'm sure it's more difficult than that. I mean, there probably dozens of songs going for adds (yeah, I speak the lingo!) every week and you have to choose which ones you will have your DJs play. Some songs are crap, and those songs get played more. I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I'm trying to be sensitive to the fact that real people are making this music, then choosing to play this music.

But when I turn on the radio, I'd like to be able to choose something in between the somewhat hookless stuff on NPR or XPN and the literally ten songs that get played on the big pop stations. Would it kill them to play "Dangerous" only five times a day, and use the other spots left empty to play "Untouched" by the Veronicas, "With Every Heartbeat" by Robyn, "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You" by The Black Kids, "L.E.S. Artistes" by Santogold, "Black And Gold" by Sam Sparro, "Into The Nightlife" by Cyndi Lauper, "U Want Me 2" by Sarah McLachlan and "Light On" by David Cook?

OK, so that list may lean to the gay-friendlier side of things, but the fact I could come up with 6 recent singles off the top of my head that I've never heard on the radio, and two that got very limited airplay, is sad. I'm serious, there are literally dozens of really catchy, interesting pop singles like that. I'm not sure I'd still like any of these songs if they played them 12 times a day (no exaggeration) but why do we need to play any song that frequently? It's why so many people prefer blogs to radio to find new music: there is no new music on the radio. Just the same tired track played over and over until I run for cover.