In Search Of The Perfect Pop Record: "Like A Prayer" - Madonna

Each week, Picture & Conversations is going on a search. A quest, if you will, for the holy grail for pop fans like myself. The perfect pop record is out there; but can I find it? Join me as I go In Search Of The Perfect Pop Record. To understand my definition of perfection, check this post.

Madonna is one of the premiere pop artists of all time. Her contributions to music are widespread, and in her songs are some of the most brilliant pop moments of all time. "Like A Prayer" is, in my mind, the ultimate moment of her career.

One doesn't have to grow up in a religious home to know the power of a massive choir, but I'm sure it factored into Madonna's use of the Andrea Crouch Choir in this record. From the opening guitar riff, to the hushed reverence of the choir "ooh"ing behind the verses, to the beat, the entire song is a hymn to the spiritual ecstasy of feeling love course through every fiber of your being.

But it's when Madonna cries "let the choir sing" and the chorus raises once more with the massive wave of harmony crashing over the listener that the true power of this track is revealed. The song continues on for a good two minutes after, but it could go on for years. It wouldn't matter - you have become one with the song and have joined the choir. I have wept in my car driving down the highway when this song comes on and I'm in the right mood.

This record is also a testament to how a perfect record cannot be improved. The album and video mix are perfection, that is the perfect pop record. The mix from Madge's greatest hits package The Immaculate Collection features a breakdown towards the end. It ruins the momentum of the song and makes it seem dated. Furthermore, covers by techno outfit Mad' House and the cast of Glee, while decent performances, do nothing to improve this song. The only comparable version is Madonna's own acoustic variation from the Hope For Haiti Now benefit. But only the original can be in the running for Perfect Pop Record.

Watch the video here.

ZOMG! The New Madonna Video Is Free On iTunes! (Until Tomorrow)

Run, don't walk. Get thee to a nunnery and borrow their PC to download Madonna's "Celebration" video from iTunes for free. It's far from her best video, but it's a really cool dance-centric clip featuring Madge in thigh-high boots (fucking hot!) and a rhinestone cover dress that looks almost age appropriate yet very sexy.

Madonna's daughter, Lourdes, also appears briefly towards the end of the video. Dancing in a colorful tank and black leggings, she proves she may have the dancing chops to follow in her mom's footsteps one day. She does a back flip at the 3:15 mark, it's really awesome. Madonna also enlists a multi-racial group of dancers to get really crazy with high kicks and flips and break dancing. It's the most fun I've seen the Material Mom have since Music. The embed below probably won't last long, but you can watch below:



That's not all, kiddies! Apparently there will be a second video for the single, which also features Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon - this time in full-on "Like A Virgin" garb. It almost brought a tear to my eye to see her looking so much like her mom in this leaked pic:

With genes like that, how can't she be a star? Although, based on her impeccable fashion sense, I could see her in design before singing.

Why Lady Gaga or Katy Perry Could Be The Next Madonna (And Why It's Too Early To Tell)

More than one blog has crowned Lady Gaga the heir to Madonna's throne as Queen Of Pop. When "Just Dance" was all we heard, it was easy to brush those claims off as blog-perboly. Gaga's first single was a frothy pop confection, but after the Euro-flavored singles from Rihanna, Chris Brown and Ne-Yo it didn't seem all that new and daring. Most importantly "Just Dance" with it's two co-stars Colby O'Donis and Akon certainly didn't seem like the beginning of a shot to superstardom.

Fast forward a few months and "Just Dance" and it's followup, "Poker Face" had topped the charts and "Love Game" seems to be headed towards a similar fate. But does that mean Gaga is the second coming of Madonna?

She certainly knows her way around a hook, and the similarities don't end there. Both Catholic broads gathered a huge gay following after jumping into the NYC clubs scenes head first, both understand the need to play the role of Pop Star at all times. The are not conventional beauties, yet have massive sex appeal and definitely use it in a post-modern feministic way.

However, Lady Gaga's rise is slightly more accelerated than Madonna's, while the Material Girl's early singles like "Lucky Star" were great pop tracks, it took her second album to make her a massive media icon. Like A Virgin created a new template and look for Madonna, and made her a superstar. Gaga's The Fame has given her three massive, albeit slow-rising, singles out of the box.

This brings us to another pretender to the throne. Katy Perry's story echoes Madge's in a different way. Both pop stars had their share of disappointments in their early career: Katy with a failed gospel-pop album and pop band The Matrix, and Madonna with her early band Breakfast Club.

All three ladies know how to work a crowd with over-the-top costumes and shows, all three toy with their sexuality both in lyrics and interviews and all three write or co-write their own stuff. While I have no problem with pop tarts like Britney having songwriters and producers do everything to make the tracks hot, someone who can right their own hooks has a better chance of longevity.

Speaking of which, longevity is the real test of whether or not Lady Gaga or Katy Perry can become the next Madonna, or if they will become the next Debbie Gibson. Madonna knows a lot about adaptability, about ambition and drive and about making smart choices in songwriting, production and media manipulation. It'll be while until we know if either pop star can become Queen.

Let's Talk Madonna & New Moon

Will Madonna play a role in New Moon? Rumor has it that Queen Of Pop will try to sink her fangs into the Twilight sequel's soundtrack. Since her manager is one of the producers of the eagerly awaited film, it's a major possibility.

Of course, some fans are quite dismayed at the idea. Compared to the teen-friendly rock bands on the original Twilight soundtrack like Paramore and Muse, the current incarnation of Madonna wouldn't gel. But listening closer to the soundtrack, you find a ten-year-old Collective Soul track and a new electronica song by 90s alt-rock legend Perry Farrell. So would Madonna's contribution be all that startling? Let's take a look at the reason why Ye Olde Vampyre (as D'Luv at Chart Rigger calls her) should work her magic on the Twilight franchise.

Prior Soundtrack Experience: Looking into Madge's back catalog, you find a long history of soundtrack cuts that are pop gems. Songs like "I'll Remember" from the otherwise forgettable With Honors or "Beautiful Stranger" from Austin Power are Madonna at her finest. Of course, it hasn't been all pop perfection, it's better to forget her cover of "American Pie" for The Next Best Thing.

She's A Chameleon: Anyone with eyeballs can see that Madonna doesn't remain static. In a world where pop stars have a shelf life of three albums, the Material Mom constantly re-evaluates what it takes to stay relevant, re-invents her own persona and re-animates her sound to stay fresh and current. If she can go from the glossed-over punk look of her Boy Toy phase, to the cone wearing temptress at Cannes, to the urban cowboy of the Music-era to M-Dolla, the OG sex goddess/dominatrix with a candy fetish she currently sports, why couldn't she create a song that fits into a moody, gothic love story? She can and, if tapped to join the soundtrack, she will.

She's Already Made Songs That Would Fit: As soon as I heard that Madonna was a rumored part of the soundtrack to New Moon, I thought "Devil Wouldn't Recognize." The track is buried in the back end of her latest album, Hard Candy, and is a spooky modern beat ballad ala Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me A River" - no surprise since both were produced by Timbaland. It may be a little to urban, but the layered male background vocals provided a chant-like feel to the song. Listen:

Another song that has a dream-like sound that would easily blend into the New Moon action is "Frozen" from Ray Of Light. The sweeping orchestra under the darkly chill electronica sounds and beat would easily underscore a post-fight scene. Listen:

And don't forget her simple love ballads like "Crazy For You" that prove her ability to encompass a wide range of sounds and emotions. I don't recommend using any of these songs for the film, if you give Madonna the go-ahead she will wow us with a stunning new single that would fit perfectly. I have faith. Do you?

Now, we may find out that Madonna doesn't end up performing anything for the soundtrack. I just hope it's not due to screaming fangirls getting their knickers in a twist over Madonna's age or pop sounds. Cheer up, Twihards! There is more to the musical soundscape than you can find at Hot Topic.

I Hear Sex And Candy; or My Favorite Sexytime Music

OK, so I don't know why I'm in such a sexy mood. A residual effect of the dirty texting I was doing last night with my current romantic interest? Or maybe it's that I'm wearing my new Very Sexy For Him cologne from Victoria's Secret. They knew what they are talking about with that name, I caught myself copping a feel on my own leg a couple of times already.

Whatever the cause, I'm in the mood for some sexy tunes. Full disclosure: the closest thing to a soundtrack to sex I've ever had was this one time I made out with a rebound guy while the film Labyrinth was on the telly. I never think to throw on some panty-dropping music before the panties start dropping. So maybe this is real boner killer music, I wouldn't know from experience. But I'm willing to find out. Your move, Captain...

"The Look Of Love" - Dusty Springfield
This pop classic was written by master songwriters Hal David and Burt Bacharach for the original version of Casino Royale, and nothing is smoother than Dusty's voice gliding over piano and gentle jazz percussion in the duo's masterpiece. It brings to mind James Bond-like seduction in a bachelor pad: champagne flute in hand, lights dimmed over low slung couches and clothes coming off. "It's a bit warm, you say? Let me take that jacket for you. Pants too, if your legs are hot... which they are." Listen Here.

"Justify My Love" - Madonna
The beat and synths work together to make your body sway and a natural bump and grind emerge from your otherwise white boy body. The lyrics put ridiculous thoughts in your head, as you start unbuttoning your shirt and pulling off your tie. It's an audio strip tease, even without the visuals of the NSFW video. I literally cannot stop myself from toying with any fasteners on my clothes by the second verse, my grandmother could be in the room and I'd be "wanting... waiting... for you... to justify my love." Listen:




"Let's Get It On" - Marvin Gaye
Yeah, it's an obvious choice. But nothing says sensual seduction like soul music, and "Let's Get It On" is a soul classic that will make those roving hands start moving in the right direction. Belts unbuckling sound great over Marvin's earnest plea and it'll give you some pointers for the soft sweet nothings you whisper. Listen:




"The Bad Touch" - Bloodhound Gang
I'm not one to find songs that just lay it out there to be sexy. I want a little mystery, a little subtlety. But by this point, subtlety is out the window, a no clothes no holds barred make out is in progress and this song pretty much matches that mood. "You and me baby ain't nothing but animals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel." Listen Here.

"Heaven (Candlelight Mix)" - DJ Sammy & Yanou feat Do
Remember that electronica version of Bryan Adams song "Heaven" from about five years ago? This is the candlelight mix, a piano ballad version that is perfect for the afterglow. Snuggle next to your man and stroke his chest hair as the pianos play you to sleep. Listen:





"Untouched" - The Veronicas
This is the song for that day about halfway between the last date and the next. You want to see him, touch him, kiss him. The sexy strings underscore a throbbing beat, creating a juxtaposition not unlike the one between desire and propriety. Desire wins, play this track during your dirty texting, or old school phone sex. Listen:




Need to cool down now? Me too... try playing this to kill your libido:

Hot Topics: Santogold, "The Ramen Girl" & The Best Gift Ever?

There are a couple of interesting things I want to share with y'all, but they aren't quite interesting enough to deserve their own post. So just enjoy a smattering of Hot Topics:

Santogold's second Bud Light Lime jingle has been remixed, and it's a pretty sweet mix. Tepr is a Frenchman who has done remixes for Yelle, Kid Sister and The Teenagers, so he's got some decent hipster cred. Now he's added Santogold's "Lights Out" to his oeuvre, (he also remixed "Say Aha" for the Philly-born artist.) The original mix was a smooth surf-rock inspired new wave jam, the Tepr Emo mix features a fuzzed out keyboard tone and a heavy beat drum loop, creating a dance-floor-friendly slow jam. Listen and Download Here. Found via Elbo.ws (via Google Alerts.)

Now to some movie news, is it weird I'm a little interested in this new Brittany Murphy film, The Ramen Girl? After her character moves to Japan to be with her boyfriend, he dumps here. So she decides to become a ramen chef. Sounds exactly like this one time a guy dumped me! Except I wasn't in Japan and I decided to start tanning instead of cooking ramen. Otherwise, story of my life, y'all! Enjoy the trailer:

Found via Pop Candy.


And now for a little personal tidbit. I was going through pictures from this past holiday season, and found someone took a picture of me getting the most ridiculously amazing gift since my iPod. My Aunt Tina knows me so well, she knew I would love this:

Yes, that is a portrait of the always fabulous Madonna! I could not stop laughing, it is a truly ridiculous piece of art. And it is hanging proudly in my home.

These are for sale on the My DaVinci website, I'm kinda eying up the Kelly one, or the Brad Pitt. Mmm, Brad... Seriously, though, they have a Michael Maloney (from Clean House and Extreme Makeover Home Edition) I mean, he seems like a nice guy, but I don't know anyone other than his mom that would want his portrait hanging in their home. So random...

I've Got The Joy, Joy, Joy Down In My Heart!

I was at my Bible study Monday night and we were discussing what brings us joy. I said music and conversations, which got me thinking about which songs always bring me joy. There is something very powerful about music, to make someone angry or sad or happy. In chronological order, here are five songs that bring me joy.

Petula Clark - "Downtown"
When this song would come on the oldies station when I was a child, I always hoped I would live in a big city where I could walk downtown whenever I feel blue. I now live in Harrisburg, but I'd have to drive to get to downtown and I'd rather go to the mall than shop downtown. But the feeling when this song comes on remains the same, that liberating feel of joy that only shopping and music can bring!


Mama Cass - "Make Your Own Kind Of Music"
For some reason the music director of Lost seems to like to place happy pop songs from the 1960s in the middle of the deserted island drama. I'm not complaining! This song just fills my heart with joy, I want to make music, I want to dance, I want be a singing sensation! I'm not sure my neighbors approve, though.


ABBA - "Dancing Queen"
And when you get the chance, you are the dancing queen! Oh, to be a pretty young thing in the 1970s, the disco as my hunting ground. There is no greater expression of joy than to get your ass on the dance floor and shake what your mama gave ya!


Madonna - "Into The Groove"
This is the perfect song to strut to as you're walking your fine self through the mall. You can dance (for inspiration, naturally) as you walk, just giving little twirls and shoulder shakes, and that thing where you switch between your heels and your toes. Try it, it warms the heart! Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free.


Avalon - "Testify To Love"
When I was a home schooled youngin' living in the country, going to church three times a week and immersing myself in the newly revitalized Contemporary Christian Music scene one of my favorite groups was Avalon. The slick and polished pop sounds warmed my gay little heart, I rushed out to buy O2: Avalon Remixed at Walmart as soon as CCM Magazine mentioned it was available. "Testify To Love" remains one of the biggest hits in gospel radio history, the band's first twenty non-holiday singles hit number one. Wynonna Judd covered the song for an episode of Touched By An Angel, it appears on the soundtrack also.

Five Songs On Shuffle, Vol. 17

This is the seventeenth installments of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"Stop Me Medley (Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before/You Keep Me Hanging On)" - Mark Ronson feat. Daniel Merriweather Version
Mark Ronson's blend of sixties pop and modern beats fascinated me last year. Besides his own album, his production work on albums by Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse solidified his reputation as a whiz-kid producer. The medley of songs by The Smiths and The Supremes is awesome, the horns and beat make it funky, but also sweet and slow.

"Can't Complain" - Nickel Creek Reasons Why: The Very Best
In this passionate ballad, Chris Thile tells of going with a girl who his buddy stands up, then things get sour. They move in together, he cheats, but he told her "I could love her/I told her I could lie/so she can't complain"

"4 Minutes" - Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake 4 Minutes (Single)
The second this track was available for legal download, I was on it like white on rice. How could I resist the siren call of Madonna working with production master Timbaland on a brassy marching band beat, while getting an assist from my boyfriend Justin Timberlake. Mmmm... Justin Timberlake ::eyes glaze over:: Wait, where was I? Oh, this song rocks!

"Breaking Free" - Porter Block Guilt By Association
I have no idea who Porter Block are, but by covering the top ten single from Disney Channel sensation High School Musical, they have taken over my iPod. Who thought you could take a cheesy duet and turn it into a three minute modern rock jam? I'm guessing they are slightly embarrassed by this contribution to the Guilt By Association album of indie rock groups covering pop guilty pleasures, since they don't mention it on their official website. Be proud! You done good.

"Kiss Me" - Sixpence None The Richer Kiss Me/Love (Single)
This jangly bit of dreamy modern rock blew up after showing up on Dawson's Creek and She's All That. But Sixpence None The Richer started life as a Christian Rock band with minor hits, but a devoted following. But even a Christian Rock fanatic like me knew them best for "Kiss Me" and that's OK.

Five Songs On Shuffle Volume 16

This is the sixteenth installments of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"Summertime" - Nina Simone Trouble On My Mind
This jazzy interpretation of the Gershwin classic has one of the longest instrumental intros of any song on my iPod. The vocals don't start until about halfway through the song. It has a more free form style than her version on Verve Jazz Masters 17 disc, or the Billie Holiday, Sandi Patty or Fantasia versions that are also on my iPod. I do love me some jazz standards!

"Lucky Star" - Madonna The Immaculate Collection
One of the Material Girl's earliest hits, "Lucky Star" is just post-disco fun. Bubblegummy and sweet, it just makes you want to bop around the kitchen while you do the dishes or sing along at the top of your lungs in the car. While she has had better pop hits, this one started it all and I must give my props.

"Stronger" - Britney Spears Greatest Hits: My Perogative
Not one of my favorites among Brit's pop hits, but an OK girl power/breakup song. I much prefer Kanye's Stronger to Britney's, though.

"Big Girls Don't Cry" - Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons Malt Shop Memories: Save The Last Dance [Disc 1]
I just downloaded this box set on my iTunes this afternoon. I borrowed it from my Grammy, cause I don't have enough old school music in my iPod, and that just won't do. I listened to the oldies stations a lot as a teenager, and I have no patience for those who dislike the "old junk." The boy bands of today couldn't have happened with out the blueprint of groups like this, the "indie" rock scene takes a lot from the garage bands of the sixties. As Solomon said in, "There is no new thing under the sun."

"The Lighthouses Tale" - Nickel Creek Reasons Why: The Very Best
This is a sad bluegrass ballad, which tells the tale of lighthouse keeper meets girl, girl falls for keeper, girl dies at sea, keeper jumps off lighthouse. I love the more non-traditional bluegrass-meets-alternative songs of Nickel Creek, but there is nothing wrong with something more traditional and folksy.

We're Halfway There... (Part Two)

OK, here are the top 15 non-pop-hits of 2008 (so far...) By non-hits, I mean they may have received some airplay, but they don't come close to the mostly top ten hits I blogged about on the last list. And most I never even heard on the radio, I had to learn about these amazing songs via the Internet. Honest to blog!

Paulbo's Top 15 Non-Hits of 2006.5

15. Petra Haden - "An American Crime (End Credits Theme)" (non-charting)
Composer Ari Alan Lazer creates a brilliant "instrumental" piece to cover the end credits of the true crime film An American Crime. The instruments in question are Petra Haden's vocals, all A Capella and layered to create on of the scariest sounding themes I've heard, before breaking into an even creepier piano line. I've never seen the film, but if the music is this terrifying, who knows what the images will do to my brain.

14. Madonna - "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" (non-charting)
From the opening bars to Timbaland's scattershot beat to the creepy pianos, this modern ballad (ala "Cry Me A River") is as haunting as possible. It wasn't easy to pick just one track off Hard Candy for this list, but besides the single "4 Minutes" this one of the very best.

13. CSS - "Music Is My Hot Hot Sex" (#63, Hot 100 Chart)
The thumping beat, the grinding guitar riff, the provocative lyrics, the obvious iPod commercial. Why this isn't a much bigger hit, I don't know. Besides perfectly describing my life (music is not only my hot, hot sex, it's my boyfriend; my imaginary friend; from all the shit, the one I gotta buy is music) it's just an great dance-rock/art-rock track.

12. Duffy - "Mercy" (#27 Hot 100 Chart)
If the organs and the strange drum track at the beginning of the song aren't enough to convince you that Duffy is part of the revived Northern Soul scene in the British Isles, then the throwback Dusty/Aretha smoky vocals should. Calling Duffy an Amy Winehouse without the crack pipe is overkill, for sure. But while her songs don't have the torrid strength of "Back To Black" between this minor US hit and the gorgeous ballad "Warwick Avenue" there is definite possibilities in the blond Welsh's future.

11. Robyn - "Be Mine! (Ballad Version)" (non-charting mix)
As if the original version of this song, from the brilliant album Robyn, wasn't heartbreaking enough, along comes this piano ballad version from The Rakamonie EP. The torch-fueled lyrics reveal further anguish through the broken vocals of the Swedish sensation. Either version should be on your iPod.

10. Katy Perry - "UR So Gay" (#1 Hot Dance Singles Sales)
In this biting indictment of a emo boyfriend who wears H&M scarves, MySpaces all day and is "so indie-rock it's almost an art" Katy Perry sashays her way into the hearts of fans of Lily Allen's breed of bratty pop. The kicker, while her boyfriend is so gay, he doesn't even like penis!

9. Sam Sparro - "Black & Gold" (non-charting in US, UK #2)
This electro-funk track from gay techno star Sam Sparro deserves some spin on his home turf, not just on Euro charts. The chorus is catchy as hell and a little nonsensical, but the synth beat is where it's at!

8. Santogold - "L.E.S. Artistes" (US B-side, UK #27)
Former A&R rep Santi White is a friend of one of my favorites, M.I.A., and appeared on one of my top 14 albums of last year, Mark Ronson's Version. So little wonder I'm in love with her future/retro-fetishizing album, and the B-side to lead single "Creator" which is also quite good. You can dance to it, sing along to the chorus "I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up" and laugh along with Santi at modern hipsters, those "fast talkers."

7. Doe Deere - "One Touch" (non-charting)
Brooklyn-based disco diva Doe Deere has been burning up the pop blogs, topping Electroqueer's chart for four weeks. Her music sounds like Blondie and Madonna fighting over a Depeche Mode cover band gig, or like every '80s hit ever. Plus, she has a free download of this stunning dance track on her MySpace, click on the link above to get there. Free music that's good? I'm so there...
6. Robyn feat. Kleerup - "With Every Heartbeat" (UK #1, Hot Singles Sales, #4)
It never fails to make my hair stand on end, this gorgeous techno ballad; emo-tronic if you will. The strings swirl around Robyn's voice and the beat underscores the sadness of the lyrics. When the string quartet gives way to the keyboard tones and Robyn bursts forth with "And it hurts with every heartbeat..." on the bridge I just want to cry. Seriously, I know I say this every week or so, you NEED to buy the Robyn album. It's finally available in all the record shops here in the states, not just as an import.

5. Estelle feat. Kanye West - "American Boy" (#35)
It's weird, but Estelle sounds like what Corrine Bailey Rae would sound like as a hip-hop artist. The electric guitar is used more as beat than melody, which is intriguing, and the line "Don't like his baggy jeans/but I'ma like what's underneath 'em" makes me chuckle. Sure Estelle, I'll be your American boy...

4. Amy Winehouse - "F*** Me Pumps" (UK #65, US non-charting)
From the US release of Amy's 2003 UK debut, Frank, comes this sassy R&B track about gold-digging hos who "walk in the bar/dressed like a star/rockin' those F-me pumps" but never find love. While her debut doesn't have the same number of insanely well-written songs on it as Back to Black this song ranks as high as "Rehab" in attitude and hooks.

3. Kerli - "Love Is Dead" (non-charting)
Kerli is from Estonia, which I understand is not as mud-and-swine filled as Dilbert would have us believe. Her stunning video for "Love Is Dead" is what first drew me to her, in it she ages backwards from an ancient crone to a young blond with lebre and tongue piercings. But the song, oh the song! Kerli's emotional meditation on the end if a relationship melds so perfectly with the huge drum loop and strings before bursting into the chorus of "Love is dead/love is gone/love don't live here anymore" sung by a creepy chorus. It sounds like she should be soundtracking Tim Burton films, which is a total compliment. The Kerli EP is available now on iTunes.

2. Goldfrapp - "A&E" (Hot Dance Singles Sales #1)
Wikipedia describes this as a folk-tronica song, and that fits as well any description. It's techno, but much more organic sounding. But the lyrics are what have me hooked. Intensely descriptive of a trip to the Accident & Emergency ward (hence the title) after a post breakup suicide attempt. At least that's what I get out of "I'm in a backless gown/on a pastel ward that's shining/think I want you still/but there may be pills at work"

1. Snoop Dogg feat. Robyn - "Sexual Eruption (Fyre Department Remix)" (non-charting mix)
All the best parts of the original are here: the absolutely filthy lyrics, Snoop's vocoded singing, the rap. But add in a new chorus by Robyn (making her third entry on my chart, cause she rocks so fucking hard!) plus a greatly improved beat (dropping the flutes, adding the funk guitars) and you have the best remix of the year. "Sexual eruption/cuddle up little pup/sexual eruption/mama's gonna sex you up" is so hard core, and miles ahead of Lil' Kim's remix.

We're Halfway There... (Part One)

OK, kids, we've made it to the midpoint of 2008, and I'm hankering for some list making! So far 2008 has brought us a new Spears baby (not Britney's) a couple of pop diva comeback albums (again, not Britney's) and a new seriously hot American Idol (still not Britney) and an American pop star on How I Met Your Mother (yup, Britney!) So, what are my favorite tracks of 2008's first half?

I've decided to make two lists. The first is a top 15 list of just pop hits. These are the songs with heavy radio airplay and charted high on the Hot 100. Last year, a lot of these songs got buried at the back of my top 50, because I get so sick of hearing them they become less hot than the album tracks and indie stuff. But my number one pop hit may end up being my number one song of the year, it just depends on what the rest of the year holds. It's most played on my iPod, despite also being a massive radio hit. The peak position on the Billboard Hot 100 (per Wikipedia) is listed after the title.

List number two, which you will get later this week, is the non-hits. Maybe they got light airplay or are totally not radio-friendly indie-type stuff. Or perhaps they are remixes or album tracks, but my love for them is as strong or stronger than the radio hits. For my year end list, I will probably not do the separate lists, but who knows? That's six months away...

Paulbo's Top 15 Pop Hits 2008.5

15. Miley Cyrus - "See You Again" (#10)
For a song that I hated the first few weeks of radio play, Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus's biggest pop hit sure is high on my chart. I still think some of the lyrics are shit ("My best friend Leslie said oh she's just being Miley" is one of the most obnoxious lines in pop music history) but it's got a killer beat, funky surf guitars and a chorus that is catchy as hell. More worth cranking in the car than I want to admit.

14. Janet Jackson - "Feedback" (#19)
Another beat-heavy track, only this time with a far more urban flair and mature lyric content. Featuring one of my favorite lines of the year: "My swag is serious/something heavy like a first day period" So gross, but so funny.

13. Rihanna - "Please Don't Stop The Music" (#3)
This Michael-Jackson-sampling club hit puts me in serious dance floor mode. Originally gaining major play in dance clubs in 2007 causing "Please Don't Stop The Music" to hit the top of the Billboard Clubplay Charts before it's official radio release in January 2008. But enough chart chat, it's a dance song. So shake that booty people!

12. Mariah Carey - "Touch My Body" (#1)
Sexy, flirty, fun. And that's just Jack McBrayer in the the video! Mimi emancipates herself from ballads and brings a naughty pop track to the masses. Apparently booty calls are her style, and a piano-driven beat is too. But she's not totally kinky, if there's a camera up here, then she best not catch this flick on YouTube. But the hilarious music video? That's all up in YouTube's bidness like a Wendy interview...

11. Coldplay - "Viva La Vida" (#1)
"Viva La Vida" is the first ever number one hit for the British band, and my favorite Coldplay track since "Yellow." I love symphonic rock, and this is a prime example of why.

10. Rihanna - "Take A Bow" (#1)
Many have tried to rip off "Irreplaceable" but leave it to that hit's songwriter (Ne-Yo) and production team (Stargate) to turn the new Beyonce into, well, the new Beyonce. It may not be as catchy as "umbrella-ella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh" but it's still a stunning pop ballad.

9. Danity Kane - "Damaged" (#10)
I never really liked Danity Kane, they seemed like the Spice Girls for the '00s, only without the hits. While "Show Stopper" was an OK club track, "Damaged" is like "The First Cut Is The Deepest" only as a club banger! The lyrics are actually moving, but the girls don't park on the dance floor no matter how damaged their hearts are.

8. Natasha Bedingfeild - "Pocketful of Sunshine" (#6)
It's just a sweet little pop song, not as cloying as previous single "Love Like This" but not as brilliant as "Unwritten" or "These Words (I Love You, I Love You)" I love the downbeat of the track, reminiscent of fellow Brit-poppers Dido or Seal, which makes it a perfectly chill summer song.

7. Colbie Caillat - "Realize" (#20)
On this track Caillat's lyrics cut like a knife, which is something I never thought I'd say about the songwriter who described love as giving her "tingles in a silly place." It perfectly describes the tentative love one has for a friend, especially one that may be unavailable :coughstraightguyscough: Colbie wants her man to meet her halfway, to realize which she just realized, but we never find out if he does. I hope so, I know the pain of unrequited love and nothing spoils your peanut butter sandwiches more than it.

6. Chris Brown - "Forever" (#8)
I haven't heard a techno track get this much airplay since Cascada's "Everytime We Touch" but I'm not complaining. The beat insists on making you dance, the euro-synths shimmer like they should, the chorus is amazing: "It feel like I waited my whole life for this one night/It's only me, you and the dance floor" They may need a new word to describe this genre-blending on songs like this or Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop The Music" and much of Madonna's Hard Candy, perhaps techno-hop?

5. Katy Perry - "I Kissed A Girl" (#2)
A new-wavey nod to lesbian experimentation, with naughty lyrics like "I kissed a girl and I liked it/The taste of her cherry chap stick" and a synthy rock beat. It's an instant pop classic, from a girl whose worked with Matthew Thiessen of Relient K in the past and appeared in the Gym Class Heroes video "Cupid Chokehold" Emo enough for ya?

4. Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown "No Air" (#3)
The youngest American Idol winner completes her takeover of the pop charts with this torchy duet with R&B superstar Chris Brown. The runs-to-actual-lyrics ratio is pretty high, making it perfect for a chest-thumping lip sync in the bathroom mirror. I highly recommend it.

3. Flyleaf - "All Around Me" (#40, Hot Modern Rock Tracks Chart: #6)
With a stunning cry of "I'm alive!" over a bed of modern rock guitars, Flyleaf lead singer Lacey Mosely leaped into my heart. The smallest and most fragile looking rocker I've seen, her voice chills me, and the line from the chorus "I can feel you all around me/thickening the air I'm breathing" is one of the most amazing things I've heard all year. The album may be three years old, and the track may have debuted on the modern rock charts last year before finally entering the pop charts this year, but that only proves the longevity of this appealing rock smash.

2. Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake "4 Minutes" (#3)
This song was created just for me to love. My goddess, the Divine Madonna, and my boyfriend/stalkee, the Adonis-like Justin Timberlake, together? How could I hate? From the second the French radio rip hit the interwebs, I was all over it. The brassy beat, courtesy of pop-mastermind Timbaland and the self-referential hooky chorus were enough to have me in it's grips. The best dance single so far this year, with many other hit-worthy tracks on the parent album Hard Candy. I'm out of time, and I've only got four minutes...

1. Leona Lewis - "Bleeding Love" (#1, four non-consecutive weeks)
It's hard to believe this soaring ballad was written by former teen-pop star Jesse McCartney, and that the eighties-style beat wasn't a Timbaland production. The organ and strings put me in mind of Sinead O'Conner's "Nothing Compares 2 U" only with the vocals of Mariah Carey. I gorgeous pop ballad, perfect for singing along to, but you can't outsing the new diva in town, Ms. Leona Lewis.

5 10 Songs on Shuffle - Volume 14/15

This is the fourteenth & fifteenth installments of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play. Since I didn't post last week I'm doing a double post this week, called Five Ten Songs On Shuffle.

"A Deeper Love" - Aretha Franklin Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit Soundtrack
This is actually my favorite movie of all time, mostly due to Lauryn Hill's amazing version of "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" and the stupid/funny opening Vegas number. This song is a dance track which was produced by '90s superproducers C & C Music Factory. It's fun to dance to, but nothing more than that.

"She's Not Me" - Madonna Hard Candy
This is the longest track of the new Madonna album, produced by the Neptunes and featuring funky basswork from Prince protege Wendy Melvoin. It's a funktified disco track about a girl who tries inmitate Madge while stealing her man. Perfect for a rollerdisco!

"A Foggy Day" - Sandi Patty Together
I borrowed this album from the library when I was 19, and learned the glories of the Gershwin brothers masterful creations. Gospel superstar's Sandi Patty and Kathy Trocolli performed standards on the disc, Patty did mostly compsitions by the Gershwin's and Trocolli did songs performed by Judy Garland as well as a few duets and original jazz songs. While my favorite Ira Gershwin lyrics are from "The Man I Love" I do enjoy this one to. It's makes me want to move to London even more than I usually do.

"Smell Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana Nevermind
One of the most iconic tracks from the most iconic album by the iconic grunge band. I may be a pop fan through and through, but who can deny the power and emotion behind the vocals, despite the fact the lyrics make no sense, and the title was an insult about smelling like chick deoderant. The guitars and drums and vocals combine on a serious pop record dressed in grungy flannel. Seriously, if Kelly Rowland loves it, why can't I?

"No" - Shakira Fijicion Oral Vol. One
The English language Volume Two may have yeilded the monster hit "Hips Don't Lie" but on this disc one finds pop tracks worth hearing like the original Spanish version of the minor hit "Don't Bother" and this gorgous acoustic ballad. I have no idea what Shakira is saying on the follow up single to "La Tortura" but her vocals convey enough emotion and power to let you know something painful is happening. I really love this song.

"Must Have Done Something Right" - Relient K Five Score And Seven Years Ago
The first single from the latest studio album by the Ohio natives, it's not one of my favorites from the album. It's a little cheesy, but with a catchy Sound Of Music-quoting chorus. The rest of the album is better.

"Immigrant Song" - Led Zeppelin Early Days: Best Of Led Zeppelin Vol. 1
I'm not much of a classic rock fan, but the opening riff is so memorable you almost have to have this song on your iPod. So I do.

"Stuntin' Like A Black Rock" - Birdman & Lil' Wayne vs Black Rock The Hood Internet Mixtape Vol. 1
Black Rock provide a funky garage-pop backing to Birdman and Lil' Wayne's boastful raps that put me in mind of Nancy Sintatra as a thug. Don't ask, my mind goes places it shouldn't when the music is bumping.

"Crash And Burn Girl" - Robyn Robyn
"I should write a song about you/and all the shit you do" is the opening line of this track off Robyn's stellar pop record, current front-runner for my album of the year. So Robyn does write a song about a girl who fucks up her love life over and over again, but not without admitting: "Everytime you mess it up like that I see myself in you"

"Gimme More" - Britney Spears Blackout
It's Britney, bitch! The comeback single from the pop-diva-cum-tabloid-baby zigs with quirky synth lines, zags with vocoded vocals and a beat to cause gaysted club boys and girls to lose their shirt and grind on the nearest pole. You want more? I've give you more!

Fierce New Madonna Video - "Give It 2 Me"

So our lady of perpetual hotness had a hip-hop makeover courtesy of Timbaland and Timberlake with her first single off of Hard Candy. Now it's the Neptunes turn, and instead of thugging out the Material Girl, they give her a jittery Euro-club beat and let her "get stupid" on "Give It 2 Me" a dance floor ready track that should get booties bouncing in clubs both gay and urban. The video is pretty straight forward, it opens similar to the "Hung Up" video, with Madonna in a dance rehearsal studio getting her groove on in some killer black patent leather heels. It's more of a series of glamour shots than a plot-driven clip, Pharell pops in to drag a pink bag around, don't ask why. But Madonna keeps looking hotter, how does that work? Watch:

Happy! (and I know it...)

It's not hard to make me happy most of the time. Even when I'm having a blue day, the little things in life can bring a smile to my lips, even if it's just for one moment. Here are a few things that made me grin like a schoolboy in the past week:

David Cook in his underwear. OK, it's not *just* underwear, but his Guitar Hero ad makes me want a hot dog real bad...

Katy Perry - "I Kissed A Girl" A slice of new wave heaven, plus a banger chorus to die for. Other hot shit of the musical variety: Santogold- "L.E.S. Artists", David Cook - "Always Be My Baby", Madonna feat Kanye West - "Beat Goes On" Fame is drug, you wanna hit that?

New underwear! I know, TMI, but these new Fruit Of The Looms briefs with navy stripes are super comfey and make my ass look good. Plus, they were on sale at the Target. Killer!

New Sheetz opening. Now I can get a chicken parmy sub and a Fresca at two in morning. My diet has never been more fucked up.

Artsfest 2008. Cool art, funnel cakes and couple of bits of guycandy. Yummo!

So You Think you Can Dance. I never watched more than one or two episodes before, but I planned on getting hooked on it now that I don't have Idol or Betty. But this shit is so hot, I would be hooked even if I had seventeen other shows on at the same timeslot.

Robert Muraine, I will have your babies. David Cook has right of first refusal, but since he is dating that ho Kimberly Caldwell, I think I'm all your, flexible guy.

Five Songs On Shuffle, Vol. 9

This is the ninth installment of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"Big Rock Candy Mountain" - Harry McClintock O Brother, Where Art Thou?
A vintage song about a hobo's paradise, from the Grammy winner for Album of the Year. The album is an amazing collection of Americana. Kind of silly.

"Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" - Madonna Hard Candy
Seriously, I just reviewed this album in my last post. Timbaland recreates the creepy/sexy score he perfected on Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me A River" to highlight Madonna's tale of a possessed lover. One of the best tracks from the new Madonna album.

"Chips Ahoy!" - The Hold Steady This Is Next Volume 1
I'm not really a big fan of this indie-rock tune. I didn't even know I had it on my iPod. It's about horse racing and having a good time, but it seems overly noisy. "How am I supposed to know if you're high if you won't even dance" is crappy "cool" songwriting at it's worst.

"Good Life" - Kanye West feat T-Pain Graduation
Really, is this just an updated "Big Rock Candy Mountain"? Kanye bites a line from 50 Cent, brags (a lot!) and loves the girls that "ain't on TV cause they got more ass than the models." T-Pain vocodes his way through, as usual.

"Love Me Or Hate Me" - Lady Sovereign Public Warning
The biggest midget in the game thanks you for the love with the best sing-along chorus in rap for years: "Love me or hate me/it's still an obsession/Love me or hate me/That is the question/If you love me/Thank you/If you hate me/fuck you" She's just an average British lass with a potty mouth. "I can't dance and I really can't sing/I can only do one thing and that's be Lady Sovereign" And we love your for it...

Review: Madonna - "Hard Candy"

The queen of pop is steaming up the radio again with her club friendly new disc, Hard Candy. Madonna straddles the line between hip-hop and techno with euro-synths, driving beats courtesy of the Neptunes and Timbaland, a smattering of smutty lyrics and the occasional 70s-funk/disco bass lines.
Even if you ignore the monster lead single, "4 Minutes" which you definitely should not, there are plenty of booty-shakers on here, "Give It 2 Me" pulses like every gay club, "She's Not Me" features biting lyrics taking on all pretenders to Madges throne while upping the roller-disco ante with funktified bass that "Beat Goes On" picks up (with a half-hearted Kanye West cameo) and "Heartbeat" explains what the deal is: "You'll find me on the floor/working up a sweat/that's what music's for."
Let's not ignore the slow cuts, though. "Miles Away" brings to mind the unjustly ignored "Love Profusion" from American Life and "Devil Wouldn't Recognize" is Timbaland at his post-"Cry Me A River" best: creepy pianos, rain sound effects, abstract BGVs and a downbeat to die for. Some might criticize Tim for doing another "Cry Me A River" but it is one of the best pop songs of this decade, so why not?
But if even if the beats are on point, it's the lyrics that don't always work. "Candy Shop" could have had candy/sex double entendre that made us forget the 50 Cent track of the same name, but the dirtiest we get is "my sugar is raw" Don't even get me started on "Spanish Lessons" and "Dance 2Night" those lyrics are best forgotten, at least the beat on "Dance" makes up for it, "Spanish" could have been left off the album.
But, is this a classic Madonna album? No. It's a great club album, and if any cut-rate dance floor diva had made it I would be floored, but Madonna has done much better in the past. But as is, I'm just pleased. It's fresh, modern and funky, I can't hate.

Madonna Plays Guitar?

Last night the still-reigning queen of pop took the stage at Roseland in NYC for a MSN broadcast, being her usual Madonna self. Grinding on Justin Timberlake? Check! Debuting some super hot tracks from Hard Candy? Check! Playing guitar? Che- wait, what? Since when did the material girl handle an axe? Since now! She plays it on a hard rock remix of "Hung Up" in this clip. View the awesomeness below:

Oh, and I'll reveiwing her sweaty hot new disc this week, keep your eyes peeled...

Sweet Action! Madonna's "Hard Candy" Leaks!

Oh snap, Oh No They Didn't! posted leaks of seven new songs from the new Madonna album Hard Candy and I'm kinda loving it. Sultry dance-floor-friendly pop with a little hip-hop sheen, but mostly a modern disco/funk sound. "She's Not Me" and "Miles Away" are my favorites. I wanted to love "Beat Goes On" cause I love me some Kanye, but his rap isn't the best. The song is hot, with or without him. Don't download illegally, kids, just sample. Hard Candy comes out 4-29-08.

Who Is That Girl?

Electroqueer just posted eight videos of songs that ask the question that no seems to be able to answer: Who's that girl? Madonna and the Eurythmics had big eighties hits with the query, and while Eve is sure she's the one, Robyn is blowing up the UK charts right now while pondering the same, plus a shitty album track from Hilary Duff and some Brit-pop musings on the big Q with no A.
I must say, when I heard that "Who's That Girl" was Robyn's next single, I went straight to the Madonna/Eurythmics place, but Kudos to Raj at EQ for taking it to next level. Apologies to Marlo Thomas, but that girl is Angelina Jolie, I'm pretty sure.

Five Songs On Shuffle Vol. 5

Here is the fifth installment of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"Girls Just Wanna Fixx Up - Dizzee Rascals vs Cyndi Lauper" - The Hood Internet The Hood Internet Mix Tape Volume One
My absolute favorite mashup of all time, the sub-Caribbean beat of Lauper's grrrl-power anthem is the perfect foil to the barely intelligible rhymes of England's craziest rapper. Hottest shit evs.

"Hand In My Pocket" - Alanis Morissette Jagged Little Pill Acoustic
It took me a second to realize that this was the acoustic version of this song, the original was pretty low key, too. I bought this CD for my sister Rachel as a Christmas gift. She had heard it on Rhapsody's Listening Party, and fell in love with it. She didn't buy it at the time, and I finally tracked a copy down at Best Buy last year. I thought I was finding the perfect gift, turns out she bought me an iPod, which really is the perfect gift for me. It was a good Christmas.

"Dance, Dance" - Fall Out Boy From Under The Cork Tree
I love the lines "Why don't you show me a little bit of spark you've been saving for his mattress, love?" and "I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me." Those who blast emos for poor writing skills should step off. The bass on this is insane, too.

"La Isla Bonita" - Madonna The Immaculate Collection
I really don't like this song. I love Madonna, but this one has terrible lyrics, a really dated Latin guitar and a Muzak quality to it. Like it should only be played at tanning salons and tiki bars.

"Satellite [Acoustic]" - Mika Life In Cartoon Motion [Best Buy Exclusive Tracks]
This is a cover of Dave Matthews Band's "Satellite." I have never heard DMB's original, so I don't know if it's a good cover or not, I do like this version. It was an exclusive track for the Best Buy version of Mika's stellar debut album. It's poppy, but simple. Much better than the other bonus track, an acoustic take on his single "Love Today" which suffers from too much bombast. The original had plenty of it, too, but in the acoustic setting it sounds like an audition tape for a Broadway musical.