Grammy Night = We Don't Care About The Young Folks...

As usual, the Grammy awards on CBS last night promised good things. Also as usual, they failed to deliver far too often. And like Charlie Brown, I ran up expecting to kick the football and once again brained myself when Lucy pulled it away.

Not the show was completely devoid of entertainment value. But how sad is it that one of the best performances of the night was thrown together at the last minute to cover for Chris Brown's absence? Rev Al Green with My Southern Boyfriend Justin Timberlake doing "Let's Stay Together" with a little help from My Australian Boyfriend Keith Urban and Boyz II Men was really cool, very fun and not seven million years long. Like say...

U2 doing their godawful new single and Radiohead blathering on about being back where they started from. Just because you could pay what you wanted for In Rainbows doesn't mean it's not boring. I act like I'm not a rock'n'rolla because I'm not. But I can appreciate good rock music. And Coldplay's performance of "Viva La Vida" was stunning. The fact Chris Martin can hop around in a candy-colored jacket and still hold the melody is nothing short of astonishing. Opening the set with the piano based Jay-Z collab "Lost" was another genius move.

Speaking of Hova, how sweet was "Swagger Like Us?" I could have died. Ready-to-pop M.I.A. busts a few lines of her Record Of The Year nominated "Paper Planes" before being joined by the "Rap Pack" of a Jeri-Curled Kanye, an on-fire Jay-Z, Lil' Wayne and T.I. for the nominated all star track. I still love Yeezy's "How does feel to wake up and be the shit and the urine?" It's insanity! Plus I ain't never seen maternity wear quite like Maya's polka dot faux-bikini. Seriously, that is fuckin' awesome.

Also fuckin' awesome? Katy Perry's fruity stage set. J.Hud's emotionally fueled "You Pulled Me Through" starting with an a capella vocal and ending with a massive choir and a little tear. That's what you call an build up! Adele, still chasing those effing pavements, with a little help from Sugarland at the end. And muthafucking Neil Diamond, with the performance of the night! The man can get a crowd of industry types to "bum, bum, BUM" along to "Sweet Caroline" like a bunch of drunk sorority girls at a karaoke bar. Damn, I love me some "Sweet Caroline"

Alas, not all was greatness. While the tween set was sated by some Jo Bros feat Grammy fave Stevie Wonder and a duet between Jo Exes Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus, I was left a little cold by both. And Miley makes such weird faces when she sings! And did we need another Beatles tribute? Seriously, didn't we just have two last year? Gawd!

You may have noticed I have purposefully avoided any talk of the winners and losers. That's because Jennifer Hudson's win for Best R&B Album and Adele's win for Best New Artist were the few highlights of the telecast awards. When it's all Raising Sand, all the time you know I have nothing to discuss. Unless you want a rant? You do? Schweet...

OK, I love Alison Krauss. She is a divine goddess among bluegrass singers, her soft dreamy vocals astound me, her contribution to the soundtracks of O Brother, Where Art Thou and Cold Mountain are the stuff musophiles like me dream of when we are forced to put down our iPods and go to the movies. "When You Say Nothing At All" is divine, "Brand New Favorite" is stunning. I loves her, mmkay? I get that Robert Plant is a legend, Led Zepplin is what rockers around the globe long to be. Not my scene, but I get it. Throw in uber-producer T-Bone Burnett and you have the makings of some good stuff, if you're into that kind of sound.

BUT IT'S NOT POP! The biggest problem I had with the multiple wins Alison Krauss and Robert Plant got was the one for Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals. You have the bubbling disco hip-hop hybrid of the Madonna/JT banger "4 Minutes" or the vocal acrobatics of Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown on "No Air" or the electro-synths of "If I Never See Your Face" with Rihanna sexing up a Maroon 5 joint or the Grammy wonder twins John Mayer and Alicia Keys in some song I never heard, and you give it to "Rich Woman" - a nice; if boring; White Stripes rip off? Seriously? I don't get it. It's a nice song, but it put My Real Boyfriend to sleep.

For Record Of The Year, I was gunning for a "Paper Planes" win. M.I.A. is my favorite Sri Lankan baby mama. But I really thought Coldplay was gonna snag it, and I would have been happy for the symphonic rock of "Viva La Vida" to garner some gold. I though Adele would be the most likely to upset the British soft-rockers, "Chasing Pavements" is a very "Grammy" kind of song. And "Bleeding Love" is a pop song with enormousness written all over it. So how did "Read The Letter" win? T-Bone's dick-sucking abilities? Perhaps. It's quite possibly the most boring song I've ever heard. OK, not really. But compared to the others in the category I don't get it. At all.

Album Of The Year I'm less upset about. It would have been nice to give a rap album an award, I believe Outkast's win for the brilliant double disc Speakerboxxx/The Love Below was the last time a hip-hop disc won, Lauryn Hill's equally amazing The Miseducation Of... was the only other time it happened. So I was thinking the possibility of a Lil Wayne win was slim but sneakily enticing prospect, even I didn't think it deserved it. But I figured it would come down to Coldplay or the Krauss/Plant combo platter. And T-Bone's baby pulled through.

Why am I surprised at any of this? Last year I felt the same let down after Herbie effin Hancock beat out Kanye and Winehouse (which elicited a "Herbie can stuff a Hancock in it" from my sister.) In fact, excepting the 2004 awards, I've never really been pleased with the results of the Grammys. Why do watch? So I can blog. How very meta of me...

The Better Coldplay "Viva La Vida" Video

The new Hype Williams lensed official video for Coldplay's number one hit "Viva La Vida" hit the interwebs, and it's a decent video, but rather boring. I'm guessing this is the one they will be sending to the VH1, which is a shame because the alternate version directed by Anton Corbijn is so much better! In this one, Chris Martin wanders about London in a crown and fur cape, looking every bit the deposed ruler. He sits in a bus shelter on a hill at one point and in a scale model village all while carrying a framed painting, which the picture used for the Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends album cover. It's quirky and in that grainy film that Anton likes to use. I think you should watch it:

We're Halfway There... (Part One)

OK, kids, we've made it to the midpoint of 2008, and I'm hankering for some list making! So far 2008 has brought us a new Spears baby (not Britney's) a couple of pop diva comeback albums (again, not Britney's) and a new seriously hot American Idol (still not Britney) and an American pop star on How I Met Your Mother (yup, Britney!) So, what are my favorite tracks of 2008's first half?

I've decided to make two lists. The first is a top 15 list of just pop hits. These are the songs with heavy radio airplay and charted high on the Hot 100. Last year, a lot of these songs got buried at the back of my top 50, because I get so sick of hearing them they become less hot than the album tracks and indie stuff. But my number one pop hit may end up being my number one song of the year, it just depends on what the rest of the year holds. It's most played on my iPod, despite also being a massive radio hit. The peak position on the Billboard Hot 100 (per Wikipedia) is listed after the title.

List number two, which you will get later this week, is the non-hits. Maybe they got light airplay or are totally not radio-friendly indie-type stuff. Or perhaps they are remixes or album tracks, but my love for them is as strong or stronger than the radio hits. For my year end list, I will probably not do the separate lists, but who knows? That's six months away...

Paulbo's Top 15 Pop Hits 2008.5

15. Miley Cyrus - "See You Again" (#10)
For a song that I hated the first few weeks of radio play, Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus's biggest pop hit sure is high on my chart. I still think some of the lyrics are shit ("My best friend Leslie said oh she's just being Miley" is one of the most obnoxious lines in pop music history) but it's got a killer beat, funky surf guitars and a chorus that is catchy as hell. More worth cranking in the car than I want to admit.

14. Janet Jackson - "Feedback" (#19)
Another beat-heavy track, only this time with a far more urban flair and mature lyric content. Featuring one of my favorite lines of the year: "My swag is serious/something heavy like a first day period" So gross, but so funny.

13. Rihanna - "Please Don't Stop The Music" (#3)
This Michael-Jackson-sampling club hit puts me in serious dance floor mode. Originally gaining major play in dance clubs in 2007 causing "Please Don't Stop The Music" to hit the top of the Billboard Clubplay Charts before it's official radio release in January 2008. But enough chart chat, it's a dance song. So shake that booty people!

12. Mariah Carey - "Touch My Body" (#1)
Sexy, flirty, fun. And that's just Jack McBrayer in the the video! Mimi emancipates herself from ballads and brings a naughty pop track to the masses. Apparently booty calls are her style, and a piano-driven beat is too. But she's not totally kinky, if there's a camera up here, then she best not catch this flick on YouTube. But the hilarious music video? That's all up in YouTube's bidness like a Wendy interview...

11. Coldplay - "Viva La Vida" (#1)
"Viva La Vida" is the first ever number one hit for the British band, and my favorite Coldplay track since "Yellow." I love symphonic rock, and this is a prime example of why.

10. Rihanna - "Take A Bow" (#1)
Many have tried to rip off "Irreplaceable" but leave it to that hit's songwriter (Ne-Yo) and production team (Stargate) to turn the new Beyonce into, well, the new Beyonce. It may not be as catchy as "umbrella-ella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh" but it's still a stunning pop ballad.

9. Danity Kane - "Damaged" (#10)
I never really liked Danity Kane, they seemed like the Spice Girls for the '00s, only without the hits. While "Show Stopper" was an OK club track, "Damaged" is like "The First Cut Is The Deepest" only as a club banger! The lyrics are actually moving, but the girls don't park on the dance floor no matter how damaged their hearts are.

8. Natasha Bedingfeild - "Pocketful of Sunshine" (#6)
It's just a sweet little pop song, not as cloying as previous single "Love Like This" but not as brilliant as "Unwritten" or "These Words (I Love You, I Love You)" I love the downbeat of the track, reminiscent of fellow Brit-poppers Dido or Seal, which makes it a perfectly chill summer song.

7. Colbie Caillat - "Realize" (#20)
On this track Caillat's lyrics cut like a knife, which is something I never thought I'd say about the songwriter who described love as giving her "tingles in a silly place." It perfectly describes the tentative love one has for a friend, especially one that may be unavailable :coughstraightguyscough: Colbie wants her man to meet her halfway, to realize which she just realized, but we never find out if he does. I hope so, I know the pain of unrequited love and nothing spoils your peanut butter sandwiches more than it.

6. Chris Brown - "Forever" (#8)
I haven't heard a techno track get this much airplay since Cascada's "Everytime We Touch" but I'm not complaining. The beat insists on making you dance, the euro-synths shimmer like they should, the chorus is amazing: "It feel like I waited my whole life for this one night/It's only me, you and the dance floor" They may need a new word to describe this genre-blending on songs like this or Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop The Music" and much of Madonna's Hard Candy, perhaps techno-hop?

5. Katy Perry - "I Kissed A Girl" (#2)
A new-wavey nod to lesbian experimentation, with naughty lyrics like "I kissed a girl and I liked it/The taste of her cherry chap stick" and a synthy rock beat. It's an instant pop classic, from a girl whose worked with Matthew Thiessen of Relient K in the past and appeared in the Gym Class Heroes video "Cupid Chokehold" Emo enough for ya?

4. Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown "No Air" (#3)
The youngest American Idol winner completes her takeover of the pop charts with this torchy duet with R&B superstar Chris Brown. The runs-to-actual-lyrics ratio is pretty high, making it perfect for a chest-thumping lip sync in the bathroom mirror. I highly recommend it.

3. Flyleaf - "All Around Me" (#40, Hot Modern Rock Tracks Chart: #6)
With a stunning cry of "I'm alive!" over a bed of modern rock guitars, Flyleaf lead singer Lacey Mosely leaped into my heart. The smallest and most fragile looking rocker I've seen, her voice chills me, and the line from the chorus "I can feel you all around me/thickening the air I'm breathing" is one of the most amazing things I've heard all year. The album may be three years old, and the track may have debuted on the modern rock charts last year before finally entering the pop charts this year, but that only proves the longevity of this appealing rock smash.

2. Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake "4 Minutes" (#3)
This song was created just for me to love. My goddess, the Divine Madonna, and my boyfriend/stalkee, the Adonis-like Justin Timberlake, together? How could I hate? From the second the French radio rip hit the interwebs, I was all over it. The brassy beat, courtesy of pop-mastermind Timbaland and the self-referential hooky chorus were enough to have me in it's grips. The best dance single so far this year, with many other hit-worthy tracks on the parent album Hard Candy. I'm out of time, and I've only got four minutes...

1. Leona Lewis - "Bleeding Love" (#1, four non-consecutive weeks)
It's hard to believe this soaring ballad was written by former teen-pop star Jesse McCartney, and that the eighties-style beat wasn't a Timbaland production. The organ and strings put me in mind of Sinead O'Conner's "Nothing Compares 2 U" only with the vocals of Mariah Carey. I gorgeous pop ballad, perfect for singing along to, but you can't outsing the new diva in town, Ms. Leona Lewis.