Review: Ke$ha - "Animal"

If Lady Gaga had stayed the party girl with a wicked sense of avaunt guard fashion we thought she was when "Just Dance" was on repeat across the clubs of the USA and Europe, she may have been Ke$ha. The daughter of a punk-rock-singer-turned-country-music-writer was partying with the likes of Paris Hilton when she hooked up with songwriter/producer/pop music kingmakers Dr. Luke and Max Martin.

A massive blend of party jams and slow jams, all of which takes place at a party or bar or party at a bar, Animal is the anti-AA. It's rather clever, not just this mix of emo pop and techno that suggests the love child of Britney and Katy Perry, but the way every song weaves together a perfect story of who Ke$ha is. From the heartbroken party girl on "Hungover" to the still-drunk-the-next-morning party girl of "Party At A Rich Dude's House" to the geezer-rebuffing party girl of "D.I.N.O.S.A.U.R" we get the picture - girlfriend loves her Jack Daniels and parry music but also has emotions and heart underneath it all. Whether she's drunk texting on "Take It Off" or hitting on some other chick's boyf on "Stephen" or hot mess on the dancefloor in "Dancing With Tears In My Eyes" we understand she is not just a slutty ho, she's a slutty ho with feelings.

Is Ke$ha the next Britney, or the next Dee-Lite? Only time will tell.

Did You Know God Hates Lady Gaga In Addition To Fags?

I know, I know. When you report on the fame monsters of the Westboro Baptist Church you give them just what they are looking for. Spare me. But the originators of the oh-so-clever "God hates fags" signs produce a hilarious parody of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" how does a gay boy resist?

As part of the WBC's new campaign against pro-gay pop star Lady Gaga, the granddaughter of founder Pastor Fred Phelps shows just how must she's studied her enemy by doing a spot-on parody of the Billboard chart topper. The songs been floating around the internet for a hot minute, but the video just showed up on the YouTubes this week. It's hysterical, from the lyrics ("you ain't got no poker face... yeah you just got your whorish face") to the insinuation that another 9/11 will occur due to Lady Gaga's concerts to the way you can tell Megan has The Fame on repeat on her iPod. Seriously, if it wasn't so blatantly hateful, it could be my new favorite song...

Review: Lady Gaga - "The Fame Monster"

At only eight songs long, The Fame Monster is unconventional for this time period. A bit long to be called an EP, but has only about half the songs that Lady Gaga's first album did. But if all the songs are good, who cares that's it's not stuffed with useless filler tracks. Packaged with the first album or on it's lonesome, The Fame Monster deserves to be looked at as it's own entity.

The album opens with the massive hit "Bad Romance" - a song so inescapably hooky you only need to hear it twice to have at least part of it stuck in your head for months. Sheer pop perfection, "Bad Romance" is what techno music has needed, inventive hooks and a beat that doesn't quit. "Alejandro" is a Argentinian tango influenced Ace Of Base-style mid tempo break up song. The brilliant title song, "Monster" turns the dance floor into a hunting ground with Gaga as the prey. It's an interesting turn from the man-eating lyrics of "Love Game" and "Poker Face" and the beat is on fire. "So Happy I Could Die" and "Dance In The Dark" are less of an "event" than the other tracks, but both are solid dance pop tracks with very cool moments. Beyonce pops up on "Telephone" but she's really unnecessary to make the song an appealing club single. The two tracks that don't fit into the techno-influenced sound are "Speechless," a somewhat indulgent classic-rock style ballad, and "Teeth," a crazy campground gospel jam that is amazing.

Over all, The Fame Monster picks up where The Fame left off. Lady Gaga is a true pop visionary and several of these songs are perfect pop singles.

Review: Adam Lambert - "For Your Entertainment"

On American Idol runner up Adam Lambert's debut CD, a host of big names in pop songwriting make serious contributions. Lady Gaga, Pink, Ryan Tedder, Max Martin, Weezer's Rivers Cuomo, Linda Perry, Kara DioGuardi, Ferras, The Darkness's Justin Hawkins and Dr. Luke all pop up in the credits (as well as some contribution from Lambert himself), but the album is distinctly Adam.

The disc contains a mixture of glam rock, techno pop and emo rolled into a modern blend with Adam's vocals steamrolling over the electronic guitars and danceable beats. The 27-year-old comes across as a more mainstream Scissor Sisters on "Fever" apes the icy strangeness of Patrick Wolf on "Broken Open" and doesn't shy away from the drag implications on "Strut" making this the gayest Idol album since Clay Aiken's debut. But while Adam doesn't pretend to be straight, tender love songs like "Time For Miracles" and "Whataya Want From Me" don't identify his lover's gender. Songs like "Soaked" and "A Loaded Smile" showcase the wild vocals that Idol fans fell in love with, while "If I Had You" and "Sure Fire Winners" are party starting dance jams.

For Your Entertainment, unlike most hyped debuts in the pop world, is a clear and cohesive introduction to Adam Lambert's music.

Lady Gaga & The Midway State Cover Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush

Canadian rock band The Midway State are so under the radar, their Wikipedia has required clean-up since 2008. Lady Gaga is so over the radar I'm not sure how the two know each other or even what caused them the join forces on a cover of the classic Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush duet "Don't Give Up" (also covered by Celtic pop singer Maire Brennan and Micheal McDonald, and Willie Nelson and Sinead O'Connor.)

But just because I don't know how, doesn't mean I can't enjoy the results of the collaboration. I wasn't that familiar with the original, which is a shame since it is a beautiful song. So without a memory attached to the original, I must say I really enjoyed this version. Plus, it gives yet another chance for the Gaga one to show off her vocals. Watch the video, a homage to the original version:

The Top 50 of 2009: Part Two - 25 to 1

25. "Russian Roulette" - Rihanna (Rated R)
The lead single from Ri Ri post-Chris Brown album is dark, moody and dangerous - the perfect way to annouce her return from a hellish year.

24. "Tik Tok" - Ke$ha (Animal)
Like Lady Gaga's trashy sister from the dark alley's of LA, Ke$ha made her mark as music's newest party girl in this Dr. Luke-penned party hardy anthem. Infectious as herpes and bouncy as a stripper's bra, "Tik Tok" is the party jam du jour.

23. "She Wolf" - Shakira (She Wolf)
It's French disco sung by a Colombian beauty, it has lines like "this is lycanthropy" and "I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office." It shouldn't work, but by some voodoo, it does.

22. "Strut" - Adam Lambert (For Your Entertainment)
It's the theme song for every Tyra wannabe, "Strut" has soundtracked my every attempt at walking in imaginary heels and gown.

21. "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" - Pitbull (Rebelution)
The Cuban-American rapper creates my favorite naughty line ("Got her in the cock pit, playing with Pit's cock/now watch me make a movie like Alfred Hitchcock") and gives me a song to sing to my boyfriend to let him know I'm in the mood.

20. "Laughing With" - Regina Spektor (Far)
Regina explores the painful reality of life, while reminding us to laugh along with the Almighty when things go wrong.

19. "All I Ever Wanted" - Kelly Clarkson (All I Ever Wanted)
Kelly may have been forced by Clive Davis to create a radio-friendly album, but that didn't stop her from playing on the edges of pop/rock a little. This funk-fused pop song, the title track from her fourth album, utilizes Kelly's powerful pipes to their full effect.

18. "Stillness Is The Move" - Solange (unreleased)
Solange samples the same source material as Erykah Badu's "Bag Lady" to cover indie stars Dirty Projector's love song, creating a brilliant old school soul jam.

17. "Dance In The Dark" - Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster)
As if creating an 80s style synth-pop dance song wasn't enough, the Gaga one drops a "Vogue" style breakdown in the middle and name checks every tragic fame monster ever, from Sylvia Plath to Jon Benet Ramsey. Brilliant!

16. "Battlefield" - Jordin Sparks (Battlefield)
Pat Benatar may have let the world know that love is a battlefield some twenty-odd years ago, but that doesn't stop Jordin Sparks (with some help from Ryan Tedder) from asking why.

15. "Already Gone" - Kelly Clarkson (All I Ever Wanted)
Ryan Tedder was a busy boy this year, producing hits for Jordin Sparks, Beyonce, Kelly and One Republic as well as album tracks for Adam Lambert. So it seems eventually he would recycle ideas from one song to another. But even after giving the same beat to Kelly and Beyonce, it was clear that Kelly's heartfelt vocals and heartbreaking lyrics created a better song.

14. "Fuck You" - Lily Allen (It's Not Me, It's You)
Lily Allen kept her potty mouth for the follow-up to her debut, but dropped the retro sound for the sleek, modern electropop of It's Not Me, It's You. But on this middle finger to the Bush administration, she sounds like a chorus girl with a heart of black hatred. And light snarkiness.

13. "Te Amo" - Rihanna (Rated R)
What's a girl to do when fun on the dancefloor turns into something more? Try not to break any hearts, even if it belongs to a girl who can only say "I love you" in Spanish.

12. "You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift (Fearless)
She might be the hottest thing in country music, but "You Belong With Me" is hookier than most pop songs and the lyrics are universal. For every gay boy in love with his straight best friend, every lonely girl in love with the boy next door and every person who ever felt the sting of unrequited love, this is your song.

11. "My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson (All I Ever Wanted)
Yes, it's "Since U Been Gone" part two. But what better song to recycle? It's a brilliant slice of power pop perfection, and there is nothing better than Kelly on her game, singing the songs of Max Martin and Dr. Luke. (Well, besides singing her own songs... coughMyDecembercough)

10. "Date My Avatar" - The Guild feat Felicia Day (Single Only)
I know it was meant to be a throw away promo for a web show about geeks playing RPGs. But it filled the Aqua shaped void in my heart and taught me the glories of cosplay.

9. "Genius Next Door" - Regina Spektor (Far)
Over a densely moving piano, Regina waxes poetic over kids almost drowning in lakes. Is it a metaphor? Is it a true crime story? Do I care? It's brilliant.

8. "Two Is Better Than One" - Boys Like Girls feat. Taylor Swift (Love Drunk)
Two is better than one, at least when those two are a pop punk band and a country cutie who harmonize over acoustic guitars and strings. Ah, I'm just a sucker for a power ballad...

7. "Bad Romance" - Lady Gaga (The Fame Monster)
It's dance pop at it's most intelligent, with forty-seven hooks and seven zillion pounds of glamorousness. If you can resist dancing, you have better self control than I. If you can resist singing along, you are not human!

6. "Whatya Want From Me" - Adam Lambert (For Your Entertainment)
It's telling that this second single from Adam's debut is a little more toned down, and little more contrite. After the absurd scandal over his performance on the American Music Awards, Adam needed something a little softer. But that doesn't mean that this song, penned by Pink for her last album, is a snoozer. It's still powerful and perfect for his amazing instrument.

5. "When Love Takes Over" - David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland (One Love)
It's a dancefloor anthem, perfect for singing along, dancing along and living. I'm so glad to have Kelly back in the game!

.4 "Dear God, Please Help Me" - Marianne Faithfull (Easy Come, Easy Go)
Marianne's whiskey-soaked vocals completely destroy the heart of any one who hears her cover of Morrisey's song of innocence lost while in Rome. The high church organs and guitars swirl around her instrument of mass emotional destruction to create the best cover of the year.

3. "Don't Stop Believin'" - The Cast Of Glee (Glee - The Music, Volume 1)
Lea Michele and Cory Monteith lead the cast of the most joyous thing on TV in a cover of the most triumphant anthem in pop history. To not love it is to admit you are missing your emotion chip.

2. "Paparazzi" - Lady Gaga (The Fame)
Love and obsession intertwine over icy Italio Disco beats on the fourth single from Our Lady Of Perpetual Fabulousness's debut disc. The fact the video is epic and the line "You're my rock star in between the sets/Eyeliner and cigarettes" perfectly describes my current boyf helps make "Paparazzi" the best Gaga tune this year.

1. "Daniel" - Bat For Lashes (Two Suns)
In this ode to nostalgic love and the Karate Kid, Natasha Khan replaces the string quartets and girl group tambourines of her debut with synths and beats. It's still creepy as hall, and the atmospheric lead single from her concept album took her detached-yet-emotional vocals to another level.

The Top 50 of 2009: Part One - 50 to 26

It's a little late in coming, but here is part one of the year's best songs...

50. "One Love" - David Guetta feat Estelle (One Love)
Brit pop star Estelle brings a gospel stomp to this techno gem.

49. "Telephone" - Lady Gaga feat Beyonce (The Fame Monster)
Beyonce may have struck first, releasing a remix of her I Am... Sasha Feirce single "Video Phone" featuring the Gaga one, but "Telephone" is ten-million percent better.

48. "Throwing My Arms Around Paris" - Morrissey (Years Of Refusal)
Paris the city. Not Paris Hilton.

47. "Evacuate The Dancefloor" - Cascada (Evacuate The Dancefloor)
One of the many trashy "Just Dance" rip-off from 2009, only featuring the greatest line in techno history: "Stop, this beat is killing me."

46. "When Doves Cry" - The Twilight Singers feat Appolonia (Purplish Rain)
From Spin magazine's tribute to the classic soundtrack to Purple Rain comes this moody, spooky reading of the title song.

45. "Story Of A Heart" - Benny Andersson Band (Story Of A Heart)
The closest thing to ABBA reunion we may ever get.

44. "Whatcha Say" - Jason Derulo (Jason Derulo)
Producer JR Rotem samples Imogen Heap for the strangest r&b single to top the Hot 100. True story.

43. "Sweet Dreams" - Beyonce (I Am... Sasha Feirce)
Queen B finally goes the entire electro pop route, and proves she can take any sound to the charts.

42. "Fireflies" - Owl City (Ocean Eyes)
Sometimes, a radio single is so delightfully giddy and insanely catchy, nobody cares it's about an insomniac counting fireflies.

41. "Feel It In My Bones" - Tiesto feat Tegan & Sara (Kaleidoscope)
Yes, lesbian twins like techno, too.

40. "Heartbreak On Vinyl" - Blake Lewis (Heartbreak On Vinyl)
So do American Idol runners-up.

39. "Love Sex Magic" - Ciara feat Justin Timberlake (Fantasy Ride)
Hot funky vibes and a sick as hell lyrical back and forth makes me wish JT and Ciara teamed up more often.

38. "Use Somebody" - Kings On Leon (Only By The Night)
Everybody covered this rock track, and radio played it so much I almost got sick of it. Almost...

37. "3" - Britney Spears (The Singles Collection)
Britney + Max Martin + dirty sex talk = pop gold.

36. "High Hopes & Heartbreaks" - Brooke White (High Hopes & Heartbreaks)
American Idol '08's resident good girl takes a ride on the sunny side of Cali pop and breaks her heart in the process.

35. "Good Girls Go Bad" - Cobra Starhip feat. Leighton Meister (Hot Mess)
Emo pop band meets Gossip Girl star and sparks fly.

34. "Down" - Jay Sean feat Lil Wayne (All Or Nothing)
Beautiful techno-pop with the Weezy cameo required to make it a smash hit.

33. "I Get Off" - Halestorm (Halestorm)
Female-fronted rock band enjoys vouyerism and hard guitars.

32. "Eat You Up" - BoA (BoA: The First Album)
Why America couldn't embrace a Korean chick with fly beats and funky dance moves I will never understand.

31. "Please Don’t Leave Me" - P!nk (Funhouse)
Please don't think I'm an obsessive stalker chick, just cause I am.

30. "You Found Me" - The Fray (The Fray)
They found God on the corner of Billboard and Number 13.

29. "Million Dollar Bill" - Whitney Houston (I Look To You)
Alicia Keys penned this funky ode to praiseworthy lovers. Why can't her upbeat stuff ever sound this good? Cuz she ain't Whitney.

28. "Fallin For You" - Colbie Calliat (The Breakthrough)
And to think, two years ago I hated Colbie Calliat. But when you create a song that mixes the best parts of Sheryl Crow, Fleetwood Mac and new love, you create a winner.

27. "The Room Where You Sleep" - Dead Man’s Bones (Dead Man's Bones)
Ryan Gosling is not just that hottie from The Notebook. He's also the frontman for a creepy children's choir-guesting southern Gothic rock band. This song is creepy as fuck. I like it.

26. "Hot Stuff" - Alison Ireheta (American Idol performance)
Taking Donna Summer's classic disco hit about working girls and amping up the rock beat to match your insane whisky-soaked vocals takes more balls than a 16-year-old girl should have.