Old-ish Product: Allison Moorer's "Mockingbird"

It seems I'm playing catch-up these days when it comes to cool new music. I heard a song about a mockingbird on the pop station at work over the weekend and I was instantly confused. "Why don't I know this song? This song is pretty damn cool." So I had to google that shit as soon as I got home.

I'm not sure this is the same song, I don't remember it having such a gospel-tinged country/jazz sound, but this title track off of Allison Moorer latest album a really nice classic Americana song, no relation to the Carly Simon song or the lullaby with the same name. The smooth sax solo is straight out of big sister Shelby Lynne's brillant Just A Little Lovin' disc, and the emotive vocals put Allison in the same league as the great American song-interpreters like Billie Holiday or Frank Sinatra.

Review: Cyndi Lauper - "Bring Ya To The Brink"

The last album I purchased by the irrepressible Ms. Cyndi Lauper was her heartbreakingly beautiful collection The Body Acoustic. So, what is the exact opposite? An electronic album, featuring some of the biggest names on the club scene behind the soundboard. Basement Jaxx, Kleerup and Dragonette all produced tracks, and the whole album was co-written by Cyndi herself.

With or without the big guns, Cyndi has created a diverse collection of club music. From the more mainstream club sounds of single "Into The Nightlife" to the urban-inspired "Lyfe" to the strange Latin fusion instrumentation of Basement Jaxx's "Rocking Chair" and the retro-disco of "Set Your Heart" Ms. Lauper creates an exciting blend of dance music.

Occasionally the beats swallow Cyndi's vocals, making it sound like a remix, not original techno music (notably "Grab A Hold.") It may not have the emotion-drenched lyrics of her hits like "Time After Time" but this a club friendly collection, perfect for getting asses on the floor.

New Ben Folds feat Regina Spektor - "You Don't Know Me"

Y'all know I love Regina Spektor, right? Begin To Hope is one of my favorite CDs and "Samson" is in my top 20 favorite songs of all time. So when I saw "You Don't Know Me" listed in a top 20 list at Fizzy Pop, I was all "New Regina Spektor! Why don't I know about this?" Turns out the song has been leaked for almost a month, and is even available on iTunes. Time to add the Soviet Kitsch-er to my Google Alerts!

"You Don't Know Me" is much more Ben than Regina, but I still like it. I've never been a big Ben Folds Five fan, so I don't know if this is Ben's usual sound, but it fits well with Regina Spektor's cutesy vibe. Despite the sweet sound, it's really a breakup song about a couple who don't really know each other. Sort of an "in love with love, not with me" song? Is that a song category? Anyway, here is the Regina-less video, directed and starring those obnoxious Adult Swim stars Tim & Eric:

Review: Santogold - "Santogold"

Despite her friendship with M.I.A. and the production by known M.I.A. associates like Diplo and Switch, there aren't that many similarities between Philly-based Santogold's sound and my girl Maya's. Which is just as well, since imitation is both the most sincere form of flattery AND pretty damn lazy.

Lead single (and Bud Light Lime jingle) "Creator" does have a M.I.A. vibe, with bizarre electronic noise and obnoxious vocals (that can only be described as the sound of dolphins being raped )opening the track. But the B-side, "L.E.S. Artistes" is a more subdued affair, which can only be classified as "indie rock" with a stunning bass line and soul-baring chorus. But the majority of Santogold's debut disc share more with Mark Ronson's retro-fetishing neo-soul (the two collaborated on a track for his 2007 album Version) and the B-52's breed of surf rock-inspired, party-friendly new wave. This is most evident on "Say Aha" with it's surf-rock-meets-dub guitars and hefty drum beat. Other standouts include "Lights Out" which features a bass line straight out of a John Hughes film soundtrack and "Anne" with it's conflicted spiritual chorus of "J-J-Jesus Pieces, rescue me, the more I try, the more it gets too complicated" and lo-fi electronic beat. A seriously thrilling debut!

Review: Katy Perry - "One Of The Boys"

At first glance, Katy Perry's One Of The Boys, with it's catchy choruses and snarky kiss-offs to ex boyfriends, seems like an power-pop version of Jagged Little Pill with an electronic sheen. Upon digging deeper, you find lyrics fixated on redefining gender roles, searching for spiritual answers and leaving a mark on the world. Plus catchy choruses and snarky kiss-offs...

But what about those gender-roles? Besides her hit "I Kissed A Girl" and it's exploration of girl-on-girl action, we find straight boys who act gay ("Ur So Gay") and "PMS like a bitch" ("Hot N Cold") tomboys who started "reading Seventeen and shaving my legs" to catch a man (the title song) all set to pop sounds that derives from the androgynous New Wave scene of the 1980s.

A former gospel singer, Katy does nod to her Evangelical heritage with a biblical reference in "Leaving My Fingerprints" and casts herself in the role of prodigal son on the lyrically sublime "Lost" which features my favorite lyric on the album: "Have you ever been so lost? Know the way and still so lost?" In that single moment, Katy places herself square in the shoes of the modern former churchgoer, who is confused about God, about her place in His plan. She wants to pray, but "am I just sending words into outer space?" We search for something to fill that void, but don't want the pain and guilt thrust upon us when we do seek a higher power.

Unfortunately, over production cause some of the songs to sink. "Lost" is a prime example, the lyrics are great, the melody serviceable, but the music bed is cluttered with too many instruments. Song doctors like Dr Luke, Max Martin and Dave Stewart produced and co-wrote a large portion of the album, creating hooky pop music that becomes somewhat repetitive in nature. However standouts like "Waking Up In Vegas" "I Kissed A Girl" and "Hot N Cold" make this a disc to pick up, and the breezy power-pop-meets-techno vibe makes it a serious party-starter.

VMA Breakdown: Snarking On Britney's Big Night!

Last night Britney won three MTV Video Music Awards, her first ever. Linkin Park, Chris Brown and Tokio Hotel also picked up moon men. But you know the awards always take a backseat to the performances, outfits and red carpet shenanigans.

Let's start with the arrivals. On any other award show, Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus showing up together would be the biggest shocker. But no, Tokio Hotel shows up in a monster truck decorated with their own faces, T-Pain sets this circus down and Paramore shows up in little baby Smart Cars. Seriously, T-Pain on a elephant was far more insane than the Tokio Hotel stunt, no matter what MTV voters thought during the pre-show.Other than that, it was alot of the usual: Christina looked drag-y, Slipknot looked Slipknot-y and the the Jo Bros were super polite. They even told Sway to be safe in his helicopter overseeing the entrances. So cute!

But then the show starts! Britney and Superbad's Jonah Hill had a modestly humorous video bit, in which Jonah continually attempts to mack on the resurgent pop star. Then Britney walks out on stage, breezes through the teleprompted lines and opens the 25th Annual VMAs!

With that, Rihanna kicks off the show with a Thriller-inspired performance of current hit "Disturbia" with zombie dancers and a breakdown of The White Stripes' "Seven nation Army" and if I'm not mistaken, some "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of These)" synth lines. Despite the fact she can't really sing, she is truly a major pop force. This captivating performance was repeated when she guest on T.I's "Live Your Life" later in the evening.

Russell Brand made his entrance afterwards, being extremely funny in his opening monologue. He joked on his lack of US fame ("Without fame this haircut could look like mental illness." As if the two were mutually exclusive) and politics. The riff on Sarah Palin's daughter's baby daddy was priceless. "Use a condom or become a Republican." And I actually liked the Jo Bros/promise ring jokes. Mostly cause it gave Jordin Sparks a chance to call everybody a slut. Go girl!

During Jamie Foxx's obnoxious turn a presenter for the Best Female Video award, he made mention of giving it up for the ladies. Cut to a bored Zac Efron. Best camera cut all night!

Next The Jonas Brothers perform the follow-up single to "Burnin' Up" called "Lovebug." It's pretty awful, in that fake-Juno-soundtrack kind of way. But the screaming girls couldn't get enough!

The house band for this year's VMAs was DJ AM and Travis Barker. By house band, they mean maker of thirty-second snippets of music to play the commercials in and out. Katy Perry performed "Like A Virgin" with them and with two peels of her banana peel shoulder strap, she proved you don't need major stunts to create a fabulous performance. But alas, she only got a half-minute of screen time.

Yay! Zillion-time gold medalist (and male butterface) Micheal Phelps introducing his playlist king Lil' Wayne. Now, I'm not really a Lil' Wayne fan. But I've heard his Nina Simone sampling "Don't Get It" and was impressed. By the sample more than the song. So I was pleased to see brill pop diva Leona Lewis recreate Nina's legendary version of "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" for Weezy's performance. But his ass hanging out of his britches was less legendary.

Ugh. The Pussycat Doll's "When I Grow Up" needs to go away now. It's not a song, it's a cacophony of horrible squelches and the fact that is was nominated, let alone won, is sad.

Ok, we have a couple of meh performances. Pink "rocked" her new single "So What" in a very safe rah-rah kind of way. Which is not to say I won't be love with this song at some point. It's just taking longer than usual for a Pink song to grow on me. But I don't know if it's her face, or her new hair, or what, but she looks weird. Oh, I got it! She looks like Jackie from Workout. Also, not a fan of this new T.I. joint "Whatever You Like" but I'm kinda feeling the Rihanna collabo, "Live Your Life." But as much as a love Paramore and "Misery Business" the way Russell totally telegraphed the big lame reveal during the performance was stupid.

But then we come to Christina Aguilera's performance! Her reworking of debut single "Genie In A Bottle", (which she was reportedly not satisfied with the original mix ten years ago) and the new single "Keeps Getting Better" both had a glossy euro-disco sound, similar to the Chris Brown/Ne-Yo/Rihanna sound we've been hearing lately. Actually, the new track sounds very much like UK sensation Sam Sparro's "Black And Gold" a major club hit across the pond. I'm very excited about this song, and I'm hoping the new version of "Genie" is the one slated to appear on Christina's greatest hits package coming out in November. I fucking love it!

Britney was so cool and sane in her first acceptance speech, and the I figured out why during the second one. She must have had a script, cause it was the same speech both times. But I'm just happy she's sane enough to remember to thank anybody! Welcome back Brit!

I hated Kid Rock's performance, except Lil' Wayne's killer outfit. I'm loving the vest!

Then Kanye closed the show! This new song, which surprisingly did not leak before his unveiling, was a strange funk-dirge with a killer drum line and old-school soul vocals vocoded over. It's called "Love Lockdown" and I'm think I love it.

So that was the VMAs! Maybe next year I'll get my act together and live-blog the thing. There is nothing better than snarking on shit as it goes down! But thanks to Rachel and Beth for live-texting with me. We snarked together from different zip codes.

From Frump To Fab In Under Four Years, Or; License To Thrill

I was a late bloomer, in more ways than one. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 21, I didn't come out of the closet (Well, officially. Everybody knew before I did...) until I was 23, I didn't go on a date until I was 24. Sad, right? Don't be sad for me, though. Everything in it's own time.

For example, I was reminded of just how much has changed for the better in the past four years. Besides getting a job that I excelled at, I learned how to be fabulous. Working out, eating just a little bit smarter and you drop fifty or so pounds. Realize that you can make people laugh, and you make more friends. Mix Goodwill finds and last-season looks from Marshall's and basics from Old Navy, Target or even (gasp!) Walmart with the occasional splurge (like a vest from Express or an amazing jacket by Dragonfly) and you have a look that makes salesgirls take note. Being fabulous is not as hard as it looks, but some people just have the extra something to pull it off effortlessly. Those people are me and Tyra Banks.

What prompted this strut down memory lane, this tale of my journey from Frump Boi to Fashion Star? Well, this:

This is what I looked like on my old Driver's License, in my jean jacket with a Family Guy pin on the lapel and in desperate need of a hair cut and better glasses. I tried, the sweater was from Target, my idea of the height of fashion at the time. It was better than the South Pole-wearing vanilla thug look I tried for a hot minute. A very sad little hot minute. Then I started watching "What Not To Wear" and paying attention to what made my body look good.

Today I had an interview with Barnes & Nobles, and of course I took care to wear the very best. My new Express sweater vest over a DKNY white button-down, black Old Navy pants and my Georgio Brutini shoes and black-and-white checkerboard socks. After the interview I had to renew my Driver's License. That is what fabulous looks like!

You can't really see any of the amazing clothes I'm wearing. But that's OK, you can see on my face just how fabulous I feel. And, kids, that's what fabulous is all about. If you feel it, you will rock your Walmart jeans and your SalvArm jacket. Your shoes may be worth five bucks, but you pair it with a million-dollar smile and you're golden. Oh, and my hair looks fierce! That helps...