The Summer Jam Showdown! Who's Single Will Reign As "Paul's Official Summer Jam '09"?

It's time. Summer is upon us, with it's warm breezes and cookouts and things of that nature. I hate the heat, so summer always pisses me off. This is why I need my Summer Jams to get me through.

The perfect summer jam is hard to explain, but there are some criteria that it must meet.

First: When played in a car with the windows down and every seat filled, every one in the vehicle has to be able to sing along. Loudly.

Second: When played at a cookout/bonfire/outdoor cocktail party at least one slightly drunk girl or gay must be induced to scream "Oh My God! This is my jam!" when it starts playing on the radio and said inebriated person must start dancing erratically.

Third: I cannot mention Global Warming. It's summer, we already know it's happening.

Fourth (and most importantly): It must have a killer chorus (and preferably bridge) that, no matter where you are - club, beach, car, yard sale, back yard cookout, book club meeting - will make you sing along.

Other than that, it could be a hip-hop jam, a dirty rock anthem, a poppy power ballad or square-dance friendly country single. It just has to be hot. Here are the nominees for "Paul's Official Summer Jam '09":

"Boys, Boys, Boys" - Lady Gaga (from The Fame)
Gaga can do no wrong, and while her current single "Love Game" is certainly summer-jam-y enough for the list, there is no competing to the power of a chorus which is all about the boys. After all, this song is my life. I like boys in cars, my guy tastes like glitter mixed with rock'n'roll and I want to get lost in your Ferrari. Can you resist the allure of chorus that just shouts "Boys! Boys! Boys!"? Doubt it. Pros: mentions cars, hot beat. Cons: not a single, rips off "Girls, Girls, Girls".



"When Love Takes Over" - David Guetta feat Kelly Rowland (from One Love)
As if that piano line that opened the song wasn't enough to get my blood pumping, Kelly belts a tale of giving into emotion that just hits me where I am right now. (Summer lovin', y'all. It's hot.) Then, that club thump starts and it's all over. I am hooked like a big mouth bass, and I just want to throw on linen pants, leather thongs and loosely buttoned white shirt and join a dance party on the beach. Watch video here. Pros: beat is sick, feels like summer in musical form. Cons: chorus is a bit short.

"I Get Off" - Halestorm (from Halestorm)
What's summer without a hard rock song about voyeurism? Lzzy Hale roars like a modern day Joan Jett, and the rest of the band back her up with grinding guitars and a sexy bassline. The lyrical imagery is scintillating, a woman being aroused by the fact she's being watched through her window is sexy/scary. Pros: voyeurism is easy in summer. Cons: voyeurism is easier in summer.
Halestorm - I Get Off



"Don't Stop Believin'" - Glee Cast
As if Journey's everlasting smash about a small town girl living in a lonely world wasn't appealing, bring in the joy of Glee clubbers singing it. The pre-choruses were made for car sing-a-longs and Broadway star Lea Michele (Spring Awakening) brings an epic feel to the verses. As if I could ever stop believin'... Pros: you know every word already. Cons: it's a cover, summer jams should be originals



"Battlefield" - Jordin Sparks (from Battlefield)
Speaking of epicness, nothing - I SAID NOTHING! - is as epic as the bridge on this first single from the Idol winner's sophomore project. After asking why love always feels like a battlefield, sister-friend belts the rallying cry - "I guess you better go get your armor" In that instant, I'm in full camo with a helmet on my head and gun strapped to my back, getting ready to defend the fort from the invading forces of... something bad. I dunno, analogy is breaking down. It's fucking awesome, though. Watch video here. Pros: the bridge = life theme. Cons: it's a midtempo ballad.

"Good Girls Go Bad" - Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester (from Hot Mess)
If naughtiness was a requirement for Summer Jam supremacy, these emo-poppers would have the race sewn up. Known best for singing about snakes on a plane, the New York band is joined by Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester for a tale of the bad boys who walk in the club and get all the good girls to start doing shots and throwing their digits around. Add in a heaping dose of hooky chorus and I'm so there. Pros: sexy TV star + sexy emo stars = sexy summer jam. Cons: Gossip Girl is on hiatus, do it's stars exist anymore?



"All I Ever Wanted" - Kelly Clarkson (from All I Ever Wanted)
Yeah, Kells has a single out for summer, and "I Do Not Hook Up" is hot. But the title track from Clarkson's fourth disc is raw, bluesy funk-pop with a nasty chorus and sick, sick bass line. I love it more, and need it to be the next single. Make it happen, minions! Pros: chorus is sing-a-long perfection. Cons: not a single, people (read: losers) have jumped off the Kelly train.



So, who wins? Which song will be Paul's Official Summer Jam '09?

"When Love Takes Over"! Congrats, David and Kelly, there were some hot competitors. The electro mix is the shit, bee-tee-dubs. Now, commence playing of Official Summer Jam '09 on loop in your car in three, two, one...

"Don't Stop Believing" Is Still A Song For Our Times

When the cast of Glee scored a top five hit with their cover of the Journey classic "Don't Stop Believing" last week, I was not at all surprised. If you saw the premiere episode of the new FOX comedy, you witnessed the joyous performance of a motley crew of glee club members, starting with an a capella riff on the signature opening and ending with choir of vocals, guitars ablaze and horn section blowing up. It's a perfectly radiant song, and that's exactly what the world needs right now - or at least that's what 177,000 iTunes purchases would imply.

It's not just the pure shining happiness that beams off of the faces and vocals of the young ensemble that gives me a hopeful feeling. In this day of economic turmoil, the lyrics speak to the everyman down on his luck, or living in fear of this next paycheck being her last. The story of a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world and a city boy who "for a smile" can share the night is exactly our story. We are all streetlight people, living just to find emotion and working hard to get our fill.

In an age when there have been civil rights setbacks on the marriage equality front, we need reminded - don't stop believing. On a day when our retirements funds suddenly disappear, we need told again - don't stop believing. When we wake up to find planes are still crashing - don't stop believing. In that moment when you think everybody else has finally found love in this crazy world but you, I tell you the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on.

Don't stop believing. Without a shred of evidence to support this, I have managed to convince myself to believe everything will be OK. My job will not be in jeopardy, I will have enough money in the bank, I will find love. And you know what, it's working. Don't stop believing and hold on to that feeling, streetlight people...

Did You Watch "Glee"?

I just finished watching the most fabulous hour of network TV since Pushing Daisies was cancelled. If you watched TV, listened to the radio or visited MySpace in the last month, you probably heard that Nip/Tuck and Popular creator Ryan Murphy's new project Glee was premiering after American Idol tonight. But did you watch it? 'Cause you totally should have.

The plot involves Spanish teacher Will Schuester's leading of his Ohio school's Glee Club after the director is fired for sexual harassment. He butts heads with the coach of the cheer team (played by the fabulous Jane Lynch) and the rest of the sports cliches, and even finds himself at odds with his wife. He nearly quits, but is lured back by his passionate love of singing.

I'm not sure if I would call it an hour-long comedy or more of a dramedy, but it had moments both moving and funny. A lot of the characters are a bit broadly portrayed, but Broadway star Lea Michele's Rachel is a revelation. Fresh from winning a Drama Desk award for Spring Awakening, Michele brings a fresh joy to the screen as the overbearing former child prodigy and main diva of glee club. Cory Monteith is also a bright young talent, the two have amazing chemistry and pure joy on their faces as they perform the much hyped "Don't Stop Believin'" at the close of the pilot episode. He also shines in a speech to his football team mates after they call a wheelchair-bound glee member a loser.

It wasn't perfect - I found the closeted former director to be a bit campy, and Schuester's wife is almost unbelievably annoying. But Jayma Mays is delightful as Will's germaphobic coworker nursing a major crush on the married teacher, she has always brought such bubbly enthusiasm to the screen in roles on Ugly Betty and Heroes.

I would highly recommend this bright new series to anyone who loves music, teen comedy or Jane Lynch. Also, in case this doesn't sound gay enough, Josh Groban, the Chenoweth!!!! and Cheyenne Jackson guest star in upcoming episodes. The full series arrives in September, until then watch the pilot at Hulu or Fox.com. And you can download both "Don't Stop Believin'" (which owes a big debt to Petra Haden's cover from Guilt By Association) and a rival Glee club's version of Winehouse's "Rehab" at iTunes. Or just listen below: