It's time. Summer is upon us, with it's warm breezes and cookouts and things of that nature. I hate the heat, so summer always pisses me off. This is why I need my Summer Jams to get me through.
The perfect summer jam is hard to explain, but there are some criteria that it must meet.
First: When played in a car with the windows down and every seat filled, every one in the vehicle has to be able to sing along. Loudly.
Second: When played at a cookout/bonfire/outdoor cocktail party at least one slightly drunk girl or gay must be induced to scream "Oh My God! This is my jam!" when it starts playing on the radio and said inebriated person must start dancing erratically.
Third: I cannot mention Global Warming. It's summer, we already know it's happening.
Fourth (and most importantly): It must have a killer chorus (and preferably bridge) that, no matter where you are - club, beach, car, yard sale, back yard cookout, book club meeting - will make you sing along.
Other than that, it could be a hip-hop jam, a dirty rock anthem, a poppy power ballad or square-dance friendly country single. It just has to be hot. Here are the nominees for "Paul's Official Summer Jam '09":
"Boys, Boys, Boys" - Lady Gaga (from The Fame)
Gaga can do no wrong, and while her current single "Love Game" is certainly summer-jam-y enough for the list, there is no competing to the power of a chorus which is all about the boys. After all, this song is my life. I like boys in cars, my guy tastes like glitter mixed with rock'n'roll and I want to get lost in your Ferrari. Can you resist the allure of chorus that just shouts "Boys! Boys! Boys!"? Doubt it. Pros: mentions cars, hot beat. Cons: not a single, rips off "Girls, Girls, Girls".
"When Love Takes Over" - David Guetta feat Kelly Rowland (from One Love)
As if that piano line that opened the song wasn't enough to get my blood pumping, Kelly belts a tale of giving into emotion that just hits me where I am right now. (Summer lovin', y'all. It's hot.) Then, that club thump starts and it's all over. I am hooked like a big mouth bass, and I just want to throw on linen pants, leather thongs and loosely buttoned white shirt and join a dance party on the beach. Watch video here. Pros: beat is sick, feels like summer in musical form. Cons: chorus is a bit short.
"I Get Off" - Halestorm (from Halestorm)
What's summer without a hard rock song about voyeurism? Lzzy Hale roars like a modern day Joan Jett, and the rest of the band back her up with grinding guitars and a sexy bassline. The lyrical imagery is scintillating, a woman being aroused by the fact she's being watched through her window is sexy/scary. Pros: voyeurism is easy in summer. Cons: voyeurism is easier in summer.
Halestorm - I Get Off
"Don't Stop Believin'" - Glee Cast
As if Journey's everlasting smash about a small town girl living in a lonely world wasn't appealing, bring in the joy of Glee clubbers singing it. The pre-choruses were made for car sing-a-longs and Broadway star Lea Michele (Spring Awakening) brings an epic feel to the verses. As if I could ever stop believin'... Pros: you know every word already. Cons: it's a cover, summer jams should be originals
"Battlefield" - Jordin Sparks (from Battlefield)
Speaking of epicness, nothing - I SAID NOTHING! - is as epic as the bridge on this first single from the Idol winner's sophomore project. After asking why love always feels like a battlefield, sister-friend belts the rallying cry - "I guess you better go get your armor" In that instant, I'm in full camo with a helmet on my head and gun strapped to my back, getting ready to defend the fort from the invading forces of... something bad. I dunno, analogy is breaking down. It's fucking awesome, though. Watch video here. Pros: the bridge = life theme. Cons: it's a midtempo ballad.
"Good Girls Go Bad" - Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester (from Hot Mess)
If naughtiness was a requirement for Summer Jam supremacy, these emo-poppers would have the race sewn up. Known best for singing about snakes on a plane, the New York band is joined by Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester for a tale of the bad boys who walk in the club and get all the good girls to start doing shots and throwing their digits around. Add in a heaping dose of hooky chorus and I'm so there. Pros: sexy TV star + sexy emo stars = sexy summer jam. Cons: Gossip Girl is on hiatus, do it's stars exist anymore?
"All I Ever Wanted" - Kelly Clarkson (from All I Ever Wanted)
Yeah, Kells has a single out for summer, and "I Do Not Hook Up" is hot. But the title track from Clarkson's fourth disc is raw, bluesy funk-pop with a nasty chorus and sick, sick bass line. I love it more, and need it to be the next single. Make it happen, minions! Pros: chorus is sing-a-long perfection. Cons: not a single, people (read: losers) have jumped off the Kelly train.
So, who wins? Which song will be Paul's Official Summer Jam '09?
"When Love Takes Over"! Congrats, David and Kelly, there were some hot competitors. The electro mix is the shit, bee-tee-dubs. Now, commence playing of Official Summer Jam '09 on loop in your car in three, two, one...
2 comments:
I agree Paul! "When Love Takes Over" will not only be heard at the beach and all the places you mentioned, but in the malls, on the cell phones, and everywhere you look. I would still watch out for "Obsessed" by MC. The wave hasn't even started yet (when it hits iTunes, it may shut things down).
And I agree about Kelly. "All I Ever Wanted" is prolly my fave from that album. I wish her label would give up on trying to make "Hook Up" happen. Like Regina George says "It's not going to happen!"
I have a feeling "Obsessed" may end up being big, too. It's growing on me, and everyone who hears it seems to like it. It might not be my Offical Summer Jam, but it may end up on a playlist or two this hot weather season.
And I'm glad you're on the "move on from 'Hook Up'" train. Make "All I Ever Wanted" happen! I'd also be happy with "Whyyouwannabringmedown" or "If I Can't Have You" but I think the fact it's the title track is good for sales.
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