Trashy Thursdays will be happening every Thursday (duh) and will feature the trashy pop songs I kinda love. Don't get it twisted, I think pop music is an art form. But like all art, there are brilliant artistic works that are fresh and dynamic and new as well as less inspired pieces of art. Sometimes those less inspired bits are as much fun as the "good" stuff, that's why we're getting trashy!
I hate Sean Kingston. His voice annoys me so much. Justin Beiber is a little insufferable in interviews, but his music can be catchy. The two are beloved by tweens and teens, and just about unknown to everyone else.
But when two young and obnoxious teen singers get together, the sum is greater than it's parts. "Eenie Meenie" is annoyingly catchy, the beat is hot and the chorus gets stuck in the head. It's based on a nursery rhyme, so it should. I kinda hate that I love it!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
I'm Back! ...And In Search of The Perfect Pop Record
Hi, kids! It's been a while, I know. I thought a new season of American Idol would spur me into a writing frenzy. It did not. This season sucked giant donkey balls, so I quit watching.
Meanwhile, I've kept my ears open for fresh, cool music to share with y'all. I still felt the need to post deep in my soul, but I needed something to post about. So when Christina Aguilera posted her new single from her upcoming electronica-tinged disc Bionic, I got excited.
The single cover for "Not Myself Tonight" is
fantastic. It is one of the coolest single covers since Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You." But the song... eh, not so much. Produced by Palow Da Don, it has a passing resemblance to his masterpiece "Forever" by Chris Brown. But it's so boring, I can't even remember what it sounds like right after listening to it. It's quite disappointing; I was hoping for a phenomenal return from the Dirrty diva.
Which led me to my new feature: In Search of The Perfect Pop Record. I already have several candidates, and I'm hoping for my readers to suggest a few more. Here are the requirements for A Perfect Pop Record:
*Enjoyable Hooks: The Record has to get stuck in your head after just a listen or two. You must find yourself singing it at the grocery store, weeks after you heard it last. But you can't want to kill yourself because it's stuck in your head.
*Succinct Production: The Record can't have an extra note anywhere. It must be exactly the right length, not ten seconds too long or too short. You can't add anything, you can't take anything away.
*Extraordinary Resilience: The Record cannot be readily improved, but it must be open to interpretation. It has to be able to be covered and remixed but still keep you coming back to the original, even while enjoying the new version. It has to be able to show up on American Idol, be used a Broadway play or be featured in a commercial for tampons and still make you want to hear it.
*Enduring Popularity: Pop music is a genre, yes. But pop is short for popular, so the Record has to have a following. Whether it's widespread appeal or a small-yet-fervent fanbase, people have to hear it and love it.
*It has to be a record: There are great pop standards, and we may explore them during our search. But a great song like "The Man I Love" has been recorded so many times, we would have to pick the definitive recording to be The Perfect Pop Record. Like an Immortal (or a Hollaback Girl), there can only be one.
No matter the official genre names (pop-punk, electro-pop, bubblegum pop, teen pop, hip-pop, country-pop) if it fits the above category, it could be The Perfect Pop Record. Suggestions are suggested. Check back every Monday for a new candidate as we go In Search of The Perfect Pop Record.
PS: Trashy Thursdays are also returning! Because how will we recognize Perfect Pop unless we spotlight it's shadow side?
Meanwhile, I've kept my ears open for fresh, cool music to share with y'all. I still felt the need to post deep in my soul, but I needed something to post about. So when Christina Aguilera posted her new single from her upcoming electronica-tinged disc Bionic, I got excited.
The single cover for "Not Myself Tonight" is
fantastic. It is one of the coolest single covers since Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You." But the song... eh, not so much. Produced by Palow Da Don, it has a passing resemblance to his masterpiece "Forever" by Chris Brown. But it's so boring, I can't even remember what it sounds like right after listening to it. It's quite disappointing; I was hoping for a phenomenal return from the Dirrty diva.Which led me to my new feature: In Search of The Perfect Pop Record. I already have several candidates, and I'm hoping for my readers to suggest a few more. Here are the requirements for A Perfect Pop Record:
*Enjoyable Hooks: The Record has to get stuck in your head after just a listen or two. You must find yourself singing it at the grocery store, weeks after you heard it last. But you can't want to kill yourself because it's stuck in your head.
*Succinct Production: The Record can't have an extra note anywhere. It must be exactly the right length, not ten seconds too long or too short. You can't add anything, you can't take anything away.
*Extraordinary Resilience: The Record cannot be readily improved, but it must be open to interpretation. It has to be able to be covered and remixed but still keep you coming back to the original, even while enjoying the new version. It has to be able to show up on American Idol, be used a Broadway play or be featured in a commercial for tampons and still make you want to hear it.
*Enduring Popularity: Pop music is a genre, yes. But pop is short for popular, so the Record has to have a following. Whether it's widespread appeal or a small-yet-fervent fanbase, people have to hear it and love it.
*It has to be a record: There are great pop standards, and we may explore them during our search. But a great song like "The Man I Love" has been recorded so many times, we would have to pick the definitive recording to be The Perfect Pop Record. Like an Immortal (or a Hollaback Girl), there can only be one.
No matter the official genre names (pop-punk, electro-pop, bubblegum pop, teen pop, hip-pop, country-pop) if it fits the above category, it could be The Perfect Pop Record. Suggestions are suggested. Check back every Monday for a new candidate as we go In Search of The Perfect Pop Record.
PS: Trashy Thursdays are also returning! Because how will we recognize Perfect Pop unless we spotlight it's shadow side?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Idol Recap! The Boys Are Back In Town
Last week, my VCR went crazy and only taped part of Idol's second night of the top 24. Which was fine, because the recap at the end looked like the boys all sucked. So I was not sad to miss it! But this week I watched the boys improve marginally. Did they improve enough to not be boring as hell?
Super buff Michael Lynch opened the show with a stellar take on James Brown's "It's A Man's World." He has a great voice, he just looks so strange up on stage.
John Park brought his decent voice to John Mayer's "Gravity" - one of the most boring songs in the Mayer catalog. John made it even more boring. Kinda hate him.
Oh, Casey James. The girls love you, I have no idea why. You're cute and all, but not that cute. You need a hair cute and smack across the face to lose that stupid perma-grin. And you sang "I Don't Want To Be" with really shitty vocals, there wasn't enough power behind the tone and it sounded like you were swallowing your words. The guitar work was hammy at best. BOO!
OK, mullets? Really, American Idol? Mullets? Alex Lambert almost makes up for his awful hairstyle by singing "Everybody Knows" with a really interesting vocal tone. He sings really well, and even though the song wasn't that exciting, I remembered it and I liked it.
Todrick Hall was the guy who sang Kelly Clarkson last week and this week he's doing "What's Love Got To Do With It?" Yeah, he's gay. He attempts a new arrangement of the Tina classic, but it was strange and lost the melody. I'm all for changing up songs, but you should keep the good parts! I couldn't tell if his vocals were any good, because I couldn't tell if he was in tune.
I do love "What's Going On?" and I loved Jermaine Sellers' fashion sense. Why didn't I love his version of Marvin Gaye's classic pop song? He added way too much extra stuff to the song. Again, I like when people make a song their own, but you have to pick the right song to do that too.
Andrew Garcia did Fall Out Boy last week, in a really boring acoustic style. This week he did a really boring song, James Morrison's "You Give Me Something" and didn't change the song at all. Does he think his neck tattoo is exciting enough he doesn't need to sing? He should've tried "Broken Strings" instead.
Oh, classic Idol karaoke! Aaron Kelley, cute as a sixteen-year-old button, singing "My Girl" like a pageant princess. It takes me back to the early days, when Paula was the crazy one and Mariah Carey was God. He sang it well, but who cares about Temptations covers these days?
I agree with the first three judges, Tim Urban has somethings going on but doesn't have the whole package. "Get Higher" is a amazing song, and he can't sing it. Done deal. He's cute as hell, looks like he's gonna just blow us away with teen-pop charm. But he can't sing! Sad.
I must say, Lee Dewyze is also very cute. He has a great voice, great tone. But he needs to enunciate better, and not pick HORRIBLE HINDER SONGS! OMG, you thought I wasn't gonna go there this time, right? Not possible. I despise Hinder, and "Lips Of An Angel" (with it's whining infidelity tale and idiotic chorus) is the worst song ever. EVER! Try better songs next time, sexy.
I am still thinking the boys suck. They suck less than last time, but they still suck. Don't care who goes home, honestly. Can't we have an all girl top twelve? Pwease?
Super buff Michael Lynch opened the show with a stellar take on James Brown's "It's A Man's World." He has a great voice, he just looks so strange up on stage.
John Park brought his decent voice to John Mayer's "Gravity" - one of the most boring songs in the Mayer catalog. John made it even more boring. Kinda hate him.
Oh, Casey James. The girls love you, I have no idea why. You're cute and all, but not that cute. You need a hair cute and smack across the face to lose that stupid perma-grin. And you sang "I Don't Want To Be" with really shitty vocals, there wasn't enough power behind the tone and it sounded like you were swallowing your words. The guitar work was hammy at best. BOO!
OK, mullets? Really, American Idol? Mullets? Alex Lambert almost makes up for his awful hairstyle by singing "Everybody Knows" with a really interesting vocal tone. He sings really well, and even though the song wasn't that exciting, I remembered it and I liked it.
Todrick Hall was the guy who sang Kelly Clarkson last week and this week he's doing "What's Love Got To Do With It?" Yeah, he's gay. He attempts a new arrangement of the Tina classic, but it was strange and lost the melody. I'm all for changing up songs, but you should keep the good parts! I couldn't tell if his vocals were any good, because I couldn't tell if he was in tune.
I do love "What's Going On?" and I loved Jermaine Sellers' fashion sense. Why didn't I love his version of Marvin Gaye's classic pop song? He added way too much extra stuff to the song. Again, I like when people make a song their own, but you have to pick the right song to do that too.
Andrew Garcia did Fall Out Boy last week, in a really boring acoustic style. This week he did a really boring song, James Morrison's "You Give Me Something" and didn't change the song at all. Does he think his neck tattoo is exciting enough he doesn't need to sing? He should've tried "Broken Strings" instead.
Oh, classic Idol karaoke! Aaron Kelley, cute as a sixteen-year-old button, singing "My Girl" like a pageant princess. It takes me back to the early days, when Paula was the crazy one and Mariah Carey was God. He sang it well, but who cares about Temptations covers these days?
I agree with the first three judges, Tim Urban has somethings going on but doesn't have the whole package. "Get Higher" is a amazing song, and he can't sing it. Done deal. He's cute as hell, looks like he's gonna just blow us away with teen-pop charm. But he can't sing! Sad.
I must say, Lee Dewyze is also very cute. He has a great voice, great tone. But he needs to enunciate better, and not pick HORRIBLE HINDER SONGS! OMG, you thought I wasn't gonna go there this time, right? Not possible. I despise Hinder, and "Lips Of An Angel" (with it's whining infidelity tale and idiotic chorus) is the worst song ever. EVER! Try better songs next time, sexy.
I am still thinking the boys suck. They suck less than last time, but they still suck. Don't care who goes home, honestly. Can't we have an all girl top twelve? Pwease?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Idol Recap! Girls, Girls, Girls
I have to admit something. I was going to pretend missing all the audition and Hollywood episodes was a calculated decision, intended to give me a fresh perspective on the top 24 without knowing the back stories or what ten second clip we saw of them singing a Stevie Wonder song. But I will come clean. I've been busy with church, gym and my sexykins and Idol wasn't a priority.
I KNOW, RIGHT? What the fuck was I thinking, that I could walk away from Simon and Ryan's gay-baiting and the melisma of 17-year-olds who think Mariah Carey invented music? Pshaw! I live for this shit. So I'm back in the game, babies!
The first hot mass to step onto the little stage is Paige Miles, a 24-year-old teacher with a thing for loose-knit berets. So sad. Apparently Simon thinks she has one of the best voices, not that anyone could tell after she sang the non-song "All Right Now." Seriously, a four-year-old boy could do a duet with his house cat and sound pretty good doing this song. Why waste what seems to be a decent voice on such a non-entity?
At least she didn't attempt Leona Lewis, like Ashley Rodriguez did. "Happy" isn't quite a forbidden song like "Bleeding Love" would be, but poor Ashley couldn't hold the tune any better than she could hold her mic. She had it way too close to her face, and every breathe just puffed out of my speakers. At least it saved me from hearing one of Leona's minor singles turned into mush.
Ooh, I do love me some Heart. I love me some Shania Twain. Shania loves her some Janell Wheeler, so I expected it to be a love quadrangle. Not so much. When Janell started the verse, I thought her slight accent would give "What About Love" a country ballad sound. Instead, she couldn't power through the chorus and gave a weak karaoke vocal.
OK, I'm all about this influx of British soulful singer-songwriters that have been popping up in the US, so I was really feeling Lilly Scott's performance. Randy hit the nail on the head (for once) - Lilly isn't just copping a Duffy vibe, she seems the genuine article. And covering an obscure Beatles song with her warm and unique vocal, guitar in hand, was a great intro for the Colorado singer.
Katelynn Epperly brought a 50s rock vibe to the stage with her song, but her look was a bit 80s. And while her vocals were powerful, her song seemed really boring as it went on. I hope to see a different side of her soon, she seems like she could grow on me.
Young Haeley Vaughn looked like a Disney girl with her perma-smile glued to her face while singing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." She didn't sound any better, her vocals lacked any spice or verve.
Apparently I'm in the minority on Lacey Brown, the judges majorly disliked her unique vocals coloring Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." I thought she showed a lot of control, vocally, and reminded me of Cyndi Lauper.
Michelle Delamore's version of "Fallin'" was a very professional, almost perfect, cover. But there was no uniqueness or risk involved, it sounded perfectly pleasant but nothing exciting.
Didi Benami pulled Ingrid Michealson's pretty yet quiet Old Navy commercial "The Way I Am" onto the stage and put the crowd to sleep. I love some Ingrid, but there is no way to make that song a showpiece. Plus, her last name sounds like a certain gay porn site. (NSFW) FAIL.
I like Siobhan Magnus. I just do. Her voice is spooky and has a delicious dark edge to it. "Wicked Game" was a perfect song to showcase it, despite the judges creaming their collective trousers over some Stevie Wonder song she tackled before. I don't want to fall in love, either, but Siobhan has me over a barrel.
I hate harmonicas. I have always hated harmonicas, that is why I hate Stevie Wonder's appearances at any awards shows. Crystal Bowersox almost made me forget that. She played both the mouth harp and guitar while covering Alanis and I kinda dug it. Even though Crystal seemed to be very anti-Idol, she fits into that faux-rebel thing that Idol loves.
Closing the show was 17-year-old Katie Steves doing the jazz standard that has landed on the Idol stage so many times before. "Feelin' Good" should be retired, but every young pup trying to sound timeless drags the old chestnut out. It's a great song, but once Nina Simone, Micheal Buble, Muse and the Pussycat Dolls have sung it, it's time to give it up. Great vocals, old-fashioned performance. Her brother's cute, though.
I KNOW, RIGHT? What the fuck was I thinking, that I could walk away from Simon and Ryan's gay-baiting and the melisma of 17-year-olds who think Mariah Carey invented music? Pshaw! I live for this shit. So I'm back in the game, babies!
The first hot mass to step onto the little stage is Paige Miles, a 24-year-old teacher with a thing for loose-knit berets. So sad. Apparently Simon thinks she has one of the best voices, not that anyone could tell after she sang the non-song "All Right Now." Seriously, a four-year-old boy could do a duet with his house cat and sound pretty good doing this song. Why waste what seems to be a decent voice on such a non-entity?
At least she didn't attempt Leona Lewis, like Ashley Rodriguez did. "Happy" isn't quite a forbidden song like "Bleeding Love" would be, but poor Ashley couldn't hold the tune any better than she could hold her mic. She had it way too close to her face, and every breathe just puffed out of my speakers. At least it saved me from hearing one of Leona's minor singles turned into mush.
Ooh, I do love me some Heart. I love me some Shania Twain. Shania loves her some Janell Wheeler, so I expected it to be a love quadrangle. Not so much. When Janell started the verse, I thought her slight accent would give "What About Love" a country ballad sound. Instead, she couldn't power through the chorus and gave a weak karaoke vocal.
OK, I'm all about this influx of British soulful singer-songwriters that have been popping up in the US, so I was really feeling Lilly Scott's performance. Randy hit the nail on the head (for once) - Lilly isn't just copping a Duffy vibe, she seems the genuine article. And covering an obscure Beatles song with her warm and unique vocal, guitar in hand, was a great intro for the Colorado singer.
Katelynn Epperly brought a 50s rock vibe to the stage with her song, but her look was a bit 80s. And while her vocals were powerful, her song seemed really boring as it went on. I hope to see a different side of her soon, she seems like she could grow on me.
Young Haeley Vaughn looked like a Disney girl with her perma-smile glued to her face while singing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." She didn't sound any better, her vocals lacked any spice or verve.
Apparently I'm in the minority on Lacey Brown, the judges majorly disliked her unique vocals coloring Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." I thought she showed a lot of control, vocally, and reminded me of Cyndi Lauper.
Michelle Delamore's version of "Fallin'" was a very professional, almost perfect, cover. But there was no uniqueness or risk involved, it sounded perfectly pleasant but nothing exciting.
Didi Benami pulled Ingrid Michealson's pretty yet quiet Old Navy commercial "The Way I Am" onto the stage and put the crowd to sleep. I love some Ingrid, but there is no way to make that song a showpiece. Plus, her last name sounds like a certain gay porn site. (NSFW) FAIL.
I like Siobhan Magnus. I just do. Her voice is spooky and has a delicious dark edge to it. "Wicked Game" was a perfect song to showcase it, despite the judges creaming their collective trousers over some Stevie Wonder song she tackled before. I don't want to fall in love, either, but Siobhan has me over a barrel.
I hate harmonicas. I have always hated harmonicas, that is why I hate Stevie Wonder's appearances at any awards shows. Crystal Bowersox almost made me forget that. She played both the mouth harp and guitar while covering Alanis and I kinda dug it. Even though Crystal seemed to be very anti-Idol, she fits into that faux-rebel thing that Idol loves.
Closing the show was 17-year-old Katie Steves doing the jazz standard that has landed on the Idol stage so many times before. "Feelin' Good" should be retired, but every young pup trying to sound timeless drags the old chestnut out. It's a great song, but once Nina Simone, Micheal Buble, Muse and the Pussycat Dolls have sung it, it's time to give it up. Great vocals, old-fashioned performance. Her brother's cute, though.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Mariah Carey Presents The Greatest Break Up Metaphor Ever
Since the bomb that was Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel failed to yield more than one hit, Mariah is back at it with a remix album called Angel's Advocate. It doesn't have a release date (and may never in this economy) but it does have a video! Nicki Minaj from the Young Money crew brings some serious sass and British accents to the new single "Up Out My Face" and the video is amazing!
The ladies dress as Barbies/blow up dolls in nurse's costumes and furs with a red Target commercial theme. But it's the little things that make it amazing, like when Mariah trips or the blond wig Nicki sports. And the song is great fun, including this gem of a break up line: "If we were two Lego block not even the Harvard graduating class of 2010 could put us back together again." LOL.
The ladies dress as Barbies/blow up dolls in nurse's costumes and furs with a red Target commercial theme. But it's the little things that make it amazing, like when Mariah trips or the blond wig Nicki sports. And the song is great fun, including this gem of a break up line: "If we were two Lego block not even the Harvard graduating class of 2010 could put us back together again." LOL.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Review: Ke$ha - "Animal"
If Lady Gaga had stayed the party girl with a wicked sense of avaunt guard fashion we thought she was when "Just Dance" was on repeat across the clubs of the USA and Europe, she may have been Ke$ha. The daughter of a punk-rock-singer-turned-country-music-writer was partying with the likes of Paris Hilton when she hooked up with songwriter/producer/pop music kingmakers Dr. Luke and Max Martin.
A massive blend of party jams and slow jams, all of which takes place at a party or bar or party at a bar, Animal is the anti-AA. It's rather clever, not just this mix of emo pop and techno that suggests the love child of Britney and Katy Perry, but the way every song weaves together a perfect story of who Ke$ha is. From the heartbroken party girl on "Hungover" to the still-drunk-the-next-morning party girl of "Party At A Rich Dude's House" to the geezer-rebuffing party girl of "D.I.N.O.S.A.U.R" we get the picture - girlfriend loves her Jack Daniels and parry music but also has emotions and heart underneath it all. Whether she's drunk texting on "Take It Off" or hitting on some other chick's boyf on "Stephen" or hot mess on the dancefloor in "Dancing With Tears In My Eyes" we understand she is not just a slutty ho, she's a slutty ho with feelings.
Is Ke$ha the next Britney, or the next Dee-Lite? Only time will tell.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Did You Know God Hates Lady Gaga In Addition To Fags?
I know, I know. When you report on the fame monsters of the Westboro Baptist Church you give them just what they are looking for. Spare me. But the originators of the oh-so-clever "God hates fags" signs produce a hilarious parody of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" how does a gay boy resist?
As part of the WBC's new campaign against pro-gay pop star Lady Gaga, the granddaughter of founder Pastor Fred Phelps shows just how must she's studied her enemy by doing a spot-on parody of the Billboard chart topper. The songs been floating around the internet for a hot minute, but the video just showed up on the YouTubes this week. It's hysterical, from the lyrics ("you ain't got no poker face... yeah you just got your whorish face") to the insinuation that another 9/11 will occur due to Lady Gaga's concerts to the way you can tell Megan has The Fame on repeat on her iPod. Seriously, if it wasn't so blatantly hateful, it could be my new favorite song...
As part of the WBC's new campaign against pro-gay pop star Lady Gaga, the granddaughter of founder Pastor Fred Phelps shows just how must she's studied her enemy by doing a spot-on parody of the Billboard chart topper. The songs been floating around the internet for a hot minute, but the video just showed up on the YouTubes this week. It's hysterical, from the lyrics ("you ain't got no poker face... yeah you just got your whorish face") to the insinuation that another 9/11 will occur due to Lady Gaga's concerts to the way you can tell Megan has The Fame on repeat on her iPod. Seriously, if it wasn't so blatantly hateful, it could be my new favorite song...
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