A Real Housewife, A Real Moment Of Musical Brilliance

For those who thought Paris Hilton's Paris was the height of pop music excellence in the new millennium, I have some news for you...

Kim Zolciak is the talented blond from Real Housewives Of Atlanta who makes Paris look like one of those indie chicks who think they can sing but obviously can't. I mean, Fiest doesn't even use a vocoder. What kind of music is that? Seriously, Miley Cyrus's "Party In The USA" might have some competition in the Party Anthem Of All Time. Because here, with the most brilliant pop melody and sheer vocal talent, is Kim's "Tardy For The Party"



Clearly Lady Gaga and Madonna can retire, Cher shouldn't even consider another comeback and Britney and Christina can stick to stay-at-home mom status because we don't need any other pop stars now that Kim Zolciak has blessed us with her gift. All praise to Jesus and hair extensions. Thank you, Andy Cohen, for allowing us to witness the birth of a live performer who will make Barbra Streisand weep.

(Belated) Year End List: The Hot Men Of 2008

I know, 2009 is already a week old. So why am I still posting 2008 year end lists? Maybe because I started it back before Christmas and kinda forgot to finish it. Don't judge, you don't know! Regardless of timing, who doesn't a post full of hot dudes? Lesbians, that's who.

A wise man once said "There is a lot more to life than being really, really good-looking." But it's still a nice feature. For my choices for the Hot Men Of 2008, I needed more than looks. Smarts, great attitudes and wit all make me hornier than just kissable lips and rock hard abs. But when you have both... sigh... Oh, David stop! People are watching... Ahem! I need to stop daydreaming or I will never finish this post.

The Chris Daughtry Award (For Hottest American Idol Rocker): David Cook

It took a couple of weeks of American Idol before I saw the true hotness of the Cookie. But when he rocked out to "Hello" it was on, girls and gays! The beautiful eyes, the sexy gravelly voice and the cute facial hair got me started, the talent got me hooked and the huge heart made me fall madly in love. His relationship with his family, the fact he wore a rubber bracelet all season that was given to him by a reporter as a tribute to the reporters sick daughter and knowing that he is decent human who is down with the gays created a monster of sexy proportions, both inside and out.

The Dave Leiberman "If You Can't Stand The Hotness, Stay Out Of The Kitchen" Award (For Hottest TV Chef): MFB Richard from Top Chef
Yeah, Jeff might've been the conventionally sexy one, and Richard did have a habit of wearing "funny" t-shirts. But his boyish crush on head judge Tom Collichio and his full admission of having an "inner queen" in the first episode alone cemented his place as runner-up to David Cook in the Hottest Reality Bear Cubs Competition in my mind. And once he left the show, not even Martha Stewart could make it worth watching anymore.

The Anti-Perez Hilton Award (For Hottest Blogger): Junior
I know what you're thinking, is there really such a thing as a hot blogger? I know conventional stereotypes suggest days-old facial hair growth and bathrobes covering beer bellies and comic book tees are the costume of choice for blog writers and I would imagine there are still some who hold to that look. But there are some choice blogging hotties out there, from celeb bloggers like Kanye and model Bryan David Thomas (probably NSFW) to funny, witty cuties like D'Luv at Chart Rigger and Andy Towle at Towleroad. But only Juice With Junior's blog god makes great great fashion choices, is ridiculously funny and smart and has a rather sexy smile (see his video ender for the Juice With Junior Awards above.) Oh, and he comments on my blog... not that I was swayed at all by that. (Editor's note: Yes I was.) I dub him Hot Blogger 2008. Video via Juice With Junior.

The "Dear God, Don't Let Him End Up Looking Like Bruce Jenner In A Couple Years" Award (For Hottest Olympic Athlete): Matthew Mitcham
I bet you thought it was gonna be the Phelps. Yeah, he's got a great body but a consistently dumb look on his face. Matthew has a nice body, a brilliant smile and really great hair. It's all about the hair for me, sorry. Plus, as the first openly gay diver to win a gold medal, he's really a role model for young athletes. You don't have to hide any part of who you are to be a sexy, confident and athletically gifted man. Oh, and did I mention he was hot as ballz? Picture via Hunk Du Jour.

The Dreamy Vampire Of 2008 Award (For Hottest Actor In A Vampire Film Or TV Series, duh): Robert Pattison from Twilight
I'm sorry, but he is just fucking hot. The rest of these guys have a lot more going on than their faces, but once and a while you need just pretty. And damn, he is pretty. Picture via Twilight Poison.

Plus, the usual suspects:Justin Timberlake (from the "4 Minutes" video)
David Beckham (from the Armani underwear ads)

Freddie Rodriguez (from Ugly Betty. All the Betty screen caps of Freddie I could find were shite, so I picked this random bit of hotness. Don't know where it comes from, but who cares? A soaked white tee fine with me...)

The Men of Lost Like Lays potato chips, I can't have just one. From Daniel Dae Kim's anxious husband and father to be Jin (sixth from left) to Matthew Fox's daddy issues ridden doctor feel-damn-good (fifth from left) to the always sexually charged (and shirtless) southern boy Sawyer (played by Josh Holloway, third from left) to Naveen Andrews' former Iraqi soldier with the hair I would kill to run my fingers through (third from right) and more recent additions Henry Ian Cusick (far right) and Ken Leung (not pictured) I wouldn't mind being stranded on a haunted island with these boys.

From The "Who Thought This Was A Good Idea?" File: Tim Gunn's Guide To Style Ball Cap

I was on Bravo's website, finding a picture of my future boyfriend Richard for my Top Chef recap (coming tonight/tomorrow morning. No later than Sunday I promise!) when I stumbled into the Bravo store. The Tim Gunn bobblehead is going on my Christmas list right now. I was trying to decide what gay man would be caught dead in the "Team Rainbow" t-shirts (seriously, did it take them a exactly 69 seconds to design that logo?) before clicking onto the biggest fashion disaster of the season:

Seriously? Does Tim Gunn know about this hat? I'm pretty sure this is not something he would recommend keeping in your closet,* let alone wear himself. Of course, ever since I saw Tim in a tee-shirt on Best Week Ever my image of Mr. Make It Work has been somewhat altered. However, I'm pretty sure he'd think a Tim Gunn's Guide To Style Ball Cap was tacky. I know this in my heart, where Tim Gunn will always live. As a bobblehead.

*Unless you're a lesbian, which case it's a slight improvement over your current ball caps.