(Belated) Year End List: The Hot Men Of 2008

I know, 2009 is already a week old. So why am I still posting 2008 year end lists? Maybe because I started it back before Christmas and kinda forgot to finish it. Don't judge, you don't know! Regardless of timing, who doesn't a post full of hot dudes? Lesbians, that's who.

A wise man once said "There is a lot more to life than being really, really good-looking." But it's still a nice feature. For my choices for the Hot Men Of 2008, I needed more than looks. Smarts, great attitudes and wit all make me hornier than just kissable lips and rock hard abs. But when you have both... sigh... Oh, David stop! People are watching... Ahem! I need to stop daydreaming or I will never finish this post.

The Chris Daughtry Award (For Hottest American Idol Rocker): David Cook

It took a couple of weeks of American Idol before I saw the true hotness of the Cookie. But when he rocked out to "Hello" it was on, girls and gays! The beautiful eyes, the sexy gravelly voice and the cute facial hair got me started, the talent got me hooked and the huge heart made me fall madly in love. His relationship with his family, the fact he wore a rubber bracelet all season that was given to him by a reporter as a tribute to the reporters sick daughter and knowing that he is decent human who is down with the gays created a monster of sexy proportions, both inside and out.

The Dave Leiberman "If You Can't Stand The Hotness, Stay Out Of The Kitchen" Award (For Hottest TV Chef): MFB Richard from Top Chef
Yeah, Jeff might've been the conventionally sexy one, and Richard did have a habit of wearing "funny" t-shirts. But his boyish crush on head judge Tom Collichio and his full admission of having an "inner queen" in the first episode alone cemented his place as runner-up to David Cook in the Hottest Reality Bear Cubs Competition in my mind. And once he left the show, not even Martha Stewart could make it worth watching anymore.

The Anti-Perez Hilton Award (For Hottest Blogger): Junior
I know what you're thinking, is there really such a thing as a hot blogger? I know conventional stereotypes suggest days-old facial hair growth and bathrobes covering beer bellies and comic book tees are the costume of choice for blog writers and I would imagine there are still some who hold to that look. But there are some choice blogging hotties out there, from celeb bloggers like Kanye and model Bryan David Thomas (probably NSFW) to funny, witty cuties like D'Luv at Chart Rigger and Andy Towle at Towleroad. But only Juice With Junior's blog god makes great great fashion choices, is ridiculously funny and smart and has a rather sexy smile (see his video ender for the Juice With Junior Awards above.) Oh, and he comments on my blog... not that I was swayed at all by that. (Editor's note: Yes I was.) I dub him Hot Blogger 2008. Video via Juice With Junior.

The "Dear God, Don't Let Him End Up Looking Like Bruce Jenner In A Couple Years" Award (For Hottest Olympic Athlete): Matthew Mitcham
I bet you thought it was gonna be the Phelps. Yeah, he's got a great body but a consistently dumb look on his face. Matthew has a nice body, a brilliant smile and really great hair. It's all about the hair for me, sorry. Plus, as the first openly gay diver to win a gold medal, he's really a role model for young athletes. You don't have to hide any part of who you are to be a sexy, confident and athletically gifted man. Oh, and did I mention he was hot as ballz? Picture via Hunk Du Jour.

The Dreamy Vampire Of 2008 Award (For Hottest Actor In A Vampire Film Or TV Series, duh): Robert Pattison from Twilight
I'm sorry, but he is just fucking hot. The rest of these guys have a lot more going on than their faces, but once and a while you need just pretty. And damn, he is pretty. Picture via Twilight Poison.

Plus, the usual suspects:Justin Timberlake (from the "4 Minutes" video)
David Beckham (from the Armani underwear ads)

Freddie Rodriguez (from Ugly Betty. All the Betty screen caps of Freddie I could find were shite, so I picked this random bit of hotness. Don't know where it comes from, but who cares? A soaked white tee fine with me...)

The Men of Lost Like Lays potato chips, I can't have just one. From Daniel Dae Kim's anxious husband and father to be Jin (sixth from left) to Matthew Fox's daddy issues ridden doctor feel-damn-good (fifth from left) to the always sexually charged (and shirtless) southern boy Sawyer (played by Josh Holloway, third from left) to Naveen Andrews' former Iraqi soldier with the hair I would kill to run my fingers through (third from right) and more recent additions Henry Ian Cusick (far right) and Ken Leung (not pictured) I wouldn't mind being stranded on a haunted island with these boys.

"The Remainder Of My Dreams"

In the world of music, dreams get their moment in the lyrical sun, not as much as love but more than dairy products. "Dream On" is one of the few Aerosmith songs I love, Disney has the market cornered with shit like "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes" and isn't every American Idol coronation song about dreams coming true? (Well, except "Inside Your Heaven," I have no idea what that is about, but it sounds dirty.)

We all have dreams. We all have goals, both impossible and attainable. But those who have given up, who no longer dream a little dream, those people make me sad. So, imagine the wheels that started turning when a box arrived at work yesterday.

This is a tiny box, just 7" x 11" x 4.5". Not nearly big enough to hold my dreams, but some sad stock room worker wrote "The Remainder Of My Dreams" on the side and mailed a scrub top to my store.

I understand the feeling of loss at working a crummy retail job instead of making your Broadway debut or becoming head chef at a 5-star restaurant. As a youth, I changed dream jobs like underwear. I wanted to be a fireman, then a pastor, then a missionary, then an actor, then a singer, then an author, then a director, then a fashion designer, then a bookstore owner. You won't find Assistant Manager listed there, that never entered my dreams.

But I still hold onto my dreams, I don't box them up and ship them postage due via UPS! I still want to start a family; to have six-pack abs; to write a novel; to write for Blender; to live in London; to sleep with Justin Timberlake; to be on Oprah discussing my novel, my love/hate relationship with Oxford commas, and sleeping with Justin. I doubt all of my dreams will come true, but a boy can still dream!

I'm sure I'm reading way too much into a note scrawled on the side of a cardboard box. Maybe so many of this person's dreams have come true, there is a only a tiny remainder. ("I already have twelve billion in savings, married a Backstreet Boy and just sold another screenplay. I just have to climb Everest and build a time machine, then all my dreams have come true.") Maybe it's a joke, one that I "had to be there" for. But it reminded me I still have a lot of dreams left to come true. Some day my prince will come, my ship will come in and I'll get a call from Oprah's people, but for now I'll just dream big.

Speaking of dreams, did I tell you I had one the other night where David Beckham wanted me to go down on him? And I turned him down, cause he has a wife and kids? Even in my dreams my morals get in the way! (He was fine as hell, though. As usual...)

Tastylicious: Becks Undressing!

File this under: please sir may we have another? David Beckham undresses as he walks the hallway of the Ellen show to his dressing room. Proof there is a God, or just further proof that Posh is luckiest girl in the world? Watch it over and over until you are sure. I did. ;)

Not enough Becks? Is there such a thing as enough? Check out the close up scan of his Armani Underwear campaign. There are no words.