Happy! (and I know it...)

It's not hard to make me happy most of the time. Even when I'm having a blue day, the little things in life can bring a smile to my lips, even if it's just for one moment. Here are a few things that made me grin like a schoolboy in the past week:

David Cook in his underwear. OK, it's not *just* underwear, but his Guitar Hero ad makes me want a hot dog real bad...

Katy Perry - "I Kissed A Girl" A slice of new wave heaven, plus a banger chorus to die for. Other hot shit of the musical variety: Santogold- "L.E.S. Artists", David Cook - "Always Be My Baby", Madonna feat Kanye West - "Beat Goes On" Fame is drug, you wanna hit that?

New underwear! I know, TMI, but these new Fruit Of The Looms briefs with navy stripes are super comfey and make my ass look good. Plus, they were on sale at the Target. Killer!

New Sheetz opening. Now I can get a chicken parmy sub and a Fresca at two in morning. My diet has never been more fucked up.

Artsfest 2008. Cool art, funnel cakes and couple of bits of guycandy. Yummo!

So You Think you Can Dance. I never watched more than one or two episodes before, but I planned on getting hooked on it now that I don't have Idol or Betty. But this shit is so hot, I would be hooked even if I had seventeen other shows on at the same timeslot.

Robert Muraine, I will have your babies. David Cook has right of first refusal, but since he is dating that ho Kimberly Caldwell, I think I'm all your, flexible guy.

Five Songs On Shuffle - Vol. 12

This is the twelth installment of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"That Time" - Regina Spektor Begin To Hope
Opening with a funny little guitar riff and a bizarre lyric reminiscing about time Regina tried to save a pigeon with a broken wing, or when she only ate tangerines, or only smoked Camel cigarettes. Then it get serious, when the topic of the two drug overdoses comes up. Classic Regina Spektor, crazy and sweet and scary all rolled into one.

"Mr. Brightside" - The Killers Hot Fuss
I started to fall in love with The Killers after "Somebody Told Me" hit, with the gender-bender lyrics, hooky chorus and synth-heavy rock sound. But "Mr. Brightside" was a new-wave revelation, a tale of falling for a hooker dressed up in a New Romantics wash. They sounded like my British boyfriends in Franz Ferdinand, but they are Yanks from Vegas, baby.

"Pretty In Pink" - The Psychedelic Furs The Modern Edge
Real new wave from the soundtrack to the only John Hughes film I've never seen. I'm pretty sure I own it, but I've never sat down a watched it. I've seen Breakfast Club five-hundred times, so that almost makes up for it. Almost.

"Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" - Fall Out Boy Infinity On High
Emo-pop kings quote Mike Nichols' Closer on a Babyface-produced hit that features Kim Kardashian in the video. It's like six degrees of separation in one song! Plus, the song rocks.

"You've Got A Friend" - Carole King Tapestry
My sister Rachel loves Tapestry so much, she has it on CD, plus two vinyl copies. It's just one of the greatest albums of all time! While "You've Got A Friend" is a nice song, and I do prefer Carole's version to James Taylor's, my favorites are "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" and "I Feel the Earth Move." There is just something so honest in Carole's voice, and her songwriting is brilliant. I remember watching the kids TV specials she sang on, "Chicken Soup With Rice" and that one where the kid only said "I don't care!" until he got eaten by a lion. They were off the chain...

Horrible New Jessica Simpson - "Come On Over"

Ashlee may be the more makeover-happy Simpson sister, with the blonde to brunette to blonde to brunette to redhead dyejobs. But big sis Jessica is going for a genre makeover instead, doing a country album. Since I like exactly three Jessica pop songs ("I Think I'm In Love" "With You" and "I Belong To Me") will a Nashville gloss make her more palatable?

The first single "Come On Over" is NOT a remake of the Xtina or Shania songs of the same name. Too bad, cause this one sucks. In day and age when high-quality and well-written country music exists, thanks to wunderkind Taylor Swift, country-jazz chantuse Shelby Lynn and old school mamas like Loretta Lynn and Reba McEntire, who needs bland country pop shit? If it rocked out more, like a female Tim McGraw, or upped the sex-kitten flavor, like Shania Twain at her prime, maybe I'd love it. Listen:

Real Ghost Photo?

According to an article in The Sun a fourteen-year-old boy snapped a photo of a ghost in Scottish castle Tulloch Castle. The teen was attending a wedding at the castle, and snapped the photo seen in the article with a digital camera. Since it was a digital camera, it couldn't be double exposure. I'm sure it could be doctored, but if it's not, it's pretty freaky!

Remember This Name: Aung San Suu Kyi

No, Aung San Suu Kyi is not a rising pop star or the name of a quirky indie comedy set in Asia.

You can read her story here, she's a Noble Peace Prize recipent from Burma who is imprisoned for speaking out against the ruthless 19-year long regime who use child solidiers as young as 10 years old to fight their battles. (My cousin Sarah is that little!) The dictatorship implements systematic rape, ethnic cleansing and labor camps. Than Shwe even prevented the aid needed to recover from the recent cyclone from reaching his own people. Remember that name too, this man is pure evil. Juno's Ellen Page breaks it down below. Remember: Burma can't wait. Neither should you. Speak out! Spread the word! People are dying!

Tay Zonday, Miss South Carolina, Chris Crocker, Kelly and Weezer Make A Video

Ah, the interwebs. So full of educational information, one can research so many topics. Or just watch dramatic chipmunks, hear ridiculous songs like "Chocolate Rain" or "Shoes" and listen to a very queeny Britney fan cry. And now, they are all mashed up in one viral-tastic video from Weezer, "Pork & Beans" and all that's missing in OK Go on treadmills and that guy swearing about RVs. Oh, well, maybe on the followup single.
Watch:

My Super Sweet Funeral

You all know that when the revolution comes, the girls 'n' guys from My Super Sweet 16 will be the first on the guillotine, right? The bitches who scream "You ruined my life!" because their $50k cars are the wrong color and pour out the fake tears because daaaaaaddddddyyyyyyy I waaaaaaaanntttttt iiiiiiitttttt, what ever "it" may be. Silly girls who want to be carried out in litters or get Young Jeezy to perform without a thought to the price tag, AND without a thought the children that go to bed hungry every night who could use some of that wasted money for food, or vaccines so African babies don't die of malaria. Who gives a shit, when you could be made up like a human Barbie with box and everything to make an "entrance" Stupid, evil hos.

Anyway, rant over. Check out this hilarious video parody, My Super Sweet Funeral

New Katy Perry Video - "I Kissed A Girl"

Katy Perry's music is some of the gayest stuff coming out this year. Since the single "Ur So Gay" dropped, debate has risen as to whether it's homophobic or hilarious. I'm of the latter opinion, and it seems most gays agree. And it's Mika-approved pop, so you know it's pretty flamboyantly poppy. But while her new single, "I Kissed A Girl" slips to the sapphic side, and the video features a debauched night out with the girls, there is no girl-on-girl action. Sorry, Kanye! Still, it's dance-floor friendly pop, so expect to hear it bumping in the clubs; gay, lezzie or straight.
I Kissed A Girl

New Alanis Morisette Video - "Underneath"

I'm having a hard time getting into Alanis's new single, "Underneath" from her upcoming Flavors Of Entanglement (love the title!) She said she was going for a more organic techno sound, which I kind of get, but it'd not as catchy as Goldfrapp's or Imogen Heap's work that would fall under that umbrella. It needs something, I can't really place my finger on what. Having said that, this video is kind of cool in parts with the heart and the red-dress-clad Alanis, but the enviromentalist passing out fliers Alanis is kind of off-putting. Watch:

David Cook In His Undies...

Freshly minted Idol winner, and newest addition to my tag cloud, David Cook is HOT! I love him to death. So I was pleased to see his "remake" of the famous scene from Risky Business with a white button down and underwear for a Guitar Hero commerical during last night's AI finale. Check out his sexy legs below:

American Idol Recap - David vs David

I know we all know who won already. I didn't have time yesterday to post my AI blog, so all my comments are based on my written opinions made at the time of the performance episode. I really thought Archie was gonna win after that epi, boy was I so happy to be wrong!

David Cook started the night out with U2's "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" and, as usual, was amazing! He has probably one of the strongest and clearest voices in rock, he is always on point vocally, no shouting or growling to cover lack of range. Plus, hot jackets! His original song, "Dream Big" had a serious Disney Channel vibe, like it was meant for Hannah Montana and she was like "I'll do 'See You Again' instead." His enunciation could have been clearer, but he still rocked a somewhat trite song. The last song was classic Cookie, take a song, make it his own and imbue it with emotion and meaning. He truly has an artists touch! "The World I Know" was more intimate than we've really seen, acoustic, stripped down, just man and guitar sexing the stage up. It wasn't the WOW moment Simon wanted. Which brings me to the judges comments. After Syesha last week, I thought we'd seen the last of the judges throwing the Idols under a bus. But both Randy and Simon we're either damning him with faint praise or outright criticizing him, when his performances were, like always, miles ahead of the competition. I really think they were try to give Archuleta the win.

And if David Archuleta had won, at least he wouldn't have been the worst winner, Taylor Hicks has that distinction sewn up. And his "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" was very nice, well sung and just OK. His vocals didn't have the power of the George Micheal version, in fact they had trouble rising above the band in parts. The original song, "In This Moment" was even more trite than the first one, and his vocals were light again. But the judges were so quick to praise him as the best thing ever! It pissed me off. Hopefully his 14 week old "moment" warmed back up will at least give them something worth praising. "Imagine" was exactly the same as it was at the beginning of the season; sweet, emotional, nice and overly embellished with runs. But Randy loves runs! Based on the judges comments, I was sure Lil' Archie had won this thing.

But, for the first time in the five seasons I've watched Idol, my guy won! I watched J Hud, Nadia, Mandisa and B-Shorty fail, but now my beloved Cookie is the American Idol! And I should have have trusted he would, because I landed fourth in the AI pool, when I could have been second if I had picked him for the win. Dammit! But I know have a new blog tag for my cloud, David Cook: American Idol!

I Want To Be Henry Tilney...

As many of my readers (all three of you) know, I'm a huge fan of Jane Austen's novels. I've read almost all of them. I've read Pride And Prejudice a million times, and I just gave an annotated edition to a co-worker as a graduation gift. She loved it, natch, because Pride And Prejudice is an amazing book. I don't even have time for people who haven't read it. I may need to re-read it again soon, although I should read Mansfield Park, the only Austen book I've missed. I've only read Northanger Abbey once, but it's there I found my Austen match: Mr. Tilney.

Most readers of Austen strive to either have (girls and gays) or be (everybody else) Mr. Darcy, and with good reason. No, not that he's played by Colin Firth in the brilliant BBC miniseries, but because he's a rich man who comes to the aid of a woman with very fine eyes. He loves Lizzie despite himself, deep down he is a romantic.

I often compare situations in my life to those of Austen's characters, especially those in Pride And Prejudice. I worry that I am being to much like Jane Bennett and being too cautious in hiding my emotions from my Mr. Bingley. Other times I fear I am being a Mr. Collins, completely oblivious to others desire to avoid my conversation. On the flip side, what if I allow myself to become Charlotte Lucas, accepting the hand of a Mr. Collins for the sake of avoiding loneliness? How horrid a life like that would be, attached to man who I have no feelings for. I hope I would never be swayed in my feelings for someone, just because my friend think he is beneath me, like Emma's Harriet Smith. But who knows? I think I have an Emma or two in my life, but I hope I never become that meddlesome.

But the second son of General Tilney, that is a man I would have no trouble either becoming or being with. He's a bit snarky, poking fun at his love interest Catherine Morland while remaining charming. Even with the gloomy secrets lurking in his past, he is jolly and pleasant. When his temperamental father forces young Catherine out of the house in the dead of night, his gentlemanly instincts cause him to break from his family (and the possible fortune he would inherit) and marry Miss Morland. So romantic! So dreamy! If I could inhabit the being of any Austen hero, I would want to be Henry Tilney.

I Liked To Watch: "The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian"

As a kid, the Chronicles Of Narnia were my favorite books. I must have read them a dozen times or more. I really enjoyed The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe film, and I was sure I would love Prince Caspian, too. Guess what? I did!

With a few changes that enhanced the book's story, co-writer/director Andrew Adamson and crew plunge us directly into the story of Caspian X (Ben Barnes), the orphaned Telmarine prince whose life is threatened when his aunt gives birth to an heir, giving his Uncle Miraz little reason to keep him alive. After his tutor helps the prince escape and gives him Queen Susan's magic horn, Caspian is injured and blows the horn, bringing the four Kings and Queens from boring old England back to their old stomping grounds, Cair Paravel. Only it's 1300 years later, and Narnia has changed. King Peter (William Mosely) has, too, he's bossy and rude. He even disbelieves Lucy (Georgie Henley) when she says she's seen Aslan (voiced by Liam Neeson). He is willing to help the Prince take his throne, and rule Narnia while protecting the people who lived in hiding during the earlier reigns: dwarfs, talking beasts, centaurs and the like. But after a botched attack on Miraz's castle leaves the Narnian army in shambles, and Peter acting even more aggravatingly stuck up. Will some bold strategies save them, or will they resort to bringing the White Which back to help?

The film is gorgeously shot, with breathtaking New Zealand scenery and stunning costume and set design. Also, while it is a bit darker than the first film, there is some levity, even a little romance. I loved armed mouse Reepicheep, who helps keep things light, but not in a dumb kiddie-movie way.

The acting is topnotch, Peter Dinklage as the Penvisies' dwarf companion Trumpkin (or DLF, dear little friend) makes the most of his prosthetic-enhanced role, bringing gravitas to a character who could have been very cutesy. But it's hunky lead Barnes who anchors the film (and made this reviewer swoon), and the four child actors who return to their roles as Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy are truly a discovery. Not an ounce of mugging for the camera, all are very believably regal and youthful. Anna Popplewell's Susan kicks ass, too, getting her archer on and taking down soldiers left and right while Edmund (Skandar Kenyes) plays a crucial roles in preventing a dark magic takeover.

Five Songs On Shuffle Vol. 11

This is the eleventh installment of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"Last Request" - Paulo Nutini These Streets
A gorgeous and bluesy torch song from the Scottish import who should have a career like fellow Scot Rod Stewart, minus the "Great American Songbook" years. The single mix is better than the album cut, but you can't go wrong with lyrics like "I know I can't except that we're going no where/but one last time lets go there/lay down beside me"

"Carbon Monoxide" - Regina Spektor Soviet Kitsch
This is not one of my favorites from Regina's first major label LP, in fact I often get it confused with "Sailor Song" another goofy piano song from that disc. But Regina's shit is better than most people's gold. She has a nice song that closes the latest Chronicles Of Narnia film which is really weird, since Imogen Heap had a song in the last Narnia film and I bought both of their albums on the same day. Coincidence?

"No More Drama" - Mary J. Blige No More Drama
The Queen of hip-hop/soul makes the most brilliant sampling choice in hip-hop history. Utilizing the piano theme from sudsy TV daytime drama The Young And The Restless as the backdrop to song about freeing oneself from drama, ironic and hot. Plus the choir breaking loose with a cry of "No! More! Drama!" at the end would be fly on any track.

"Set Fire To The Third Bar" - Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright Eyes Open
Snow Patrol's lead vocalist Gary Lightbody and sister-of-Rufus/daughter-of-Loudon Martha Wainwright duet on my second favorite Snow Patrol song. It's one of those duets where both sing simultaneously, creating a strange harmony over a slightly creepy music bed, with pianos and guitars dueling for the spot light. The lyrics are haunting in their beauty: "Miles from where you are/I lie down on the cold ground/and I pray that something picks me up/and sets me down in your warm heart"

"Knock 'Em Out" - Lily Allen Alright, Still
A funny song from the bratty Brit, lampooning barfly girls and rude boys hitting on each other and making up excuses for not passing out their digits. "Yeah, I'm pregnant/I'm gonna have a baby in about six months/I've gotta go, my house is on fire/I have herpes"

Robyn Plays Strip Poker With Perez Hilton

Perez Hilton may be on everybody's hate list, and his painted up paparazzi photos are a bit tiresome. But he has championed some of my favorite artists, like Robyn, M.I.A., Mika and Amy Winehouse. In Robyn's new video clip for "Cobrastyle" he takes it all off. Well maybe not all... Strip poker with a card shark Robyn sounds like a hot time to me!

Earworm Du Jour (Vol 2)

Earworms are those songs that get stuck in your head, and you can't get rid of them no matter how hard you try. I've heard that you can get it unstuck if you sing "Michelle" by The Beatles, and it works sometimes. These are the earworms that were stuck in my head today:

I was thinking about American Idol today, and I kept trying to decide if I loved Syesha's performance of "Fever" or not, but her stunning version of "One Rock N Roll Too Many" kept creeping in my brain instead. It's all good...

American Idol Recap - Top Three

This week, I'm switching it up, reviewing the performances in order instead of grouped by performer. Each Idol got three songs, one they picked themselves, one chosen by a judge and one chosen by an unknown producer. Who choose wisely?

Judges Pick
David Archuleta was handed Billy Joel's "So It Goes" by Paula. I know I bust on Lil' Archie a lot, so I want to start with a compliment. He does have a beautiful instrument. He just doesn't always use it right. Tonight his voice was tender and sweet, not saccharine or cloying. But he was also a little stiff on stage, and it was a little boring. Randy chose one of my favorite songs, "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys, for Syesha Mercado. Like Simon said, she didn't take it anywhere new however it was a solid performance, though, and her vocals were good. The organ in the background was rather distracting. Simon almost always picks brilliant songs for his Judges Pick choices, he gave Vonzell "On The Radio" in season four and one of Katherine McPhee's only two amazing performances, "Over The Rainbow" was his pick also. So I knew he would give David Cook a hot one, and "First time Ever I Saw Your Face" was a bold, and ultimately wise, choice. David used a soft falsetto through much of it, before belting at the end. It was tender, gorgeous and moving. Most importantly, it proved what shouldn't have needed proving after "Music Of The Night", the boy can sing, not just rock. Round 1 Winner: David Cook.

Contestent's Choice
Archie was smart to pick a song currently on the Billboard charts, to prove he can be current. A smarter choice would have been to sing it well. (Oh snap!)It sounded like he was at a karaoke bar and he was goaded by his buddies to sing "With You" by Chris Brown to impress some girl. He forgot words, he seemed rushed to keep up with the music and he just seemed awkward. It didn't fit him at all, but the little girls squealing with fangirly fervor will ensure he doesn't leave tonight. Syesha's choice was a complete opposite, skewing old with a vampy version of "Fever" by Peggy Lee. It was kinda hot, but in a very theatrical way, like she was playing "Sexy Jazz Singer #2" in a movie. Or, perhaps a flattering comparison, like she was playing in revival of Chicago. Which I think is her aim anyway. My beloved Cookie went with another favorite of mine, "Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot. I guess I need to hit the Xanax, because I'm agreeing with Paula! It seemed cut off at the end, a noticeable side effect of the minute-thirty rule. David also seemed a little hoarse, and didn't seem to be following the melody correctly. Round 2 Winner: Syesha

Producer's Choice
This used to be Clive Davis's round, he hasn't done it since season five. I think a better round would be viewer's choice. Have an online poll to chose the song the contestants sing for a group of five. I think we would've done a better job than this unnamed producer. David A. was given "Longer" and he sucked. It was boring, he looked geeky and I couldn't have cared less about a top three performance since Taylor Hicks. Oh god, and he won. Damn! Syesha was sabotaged by this producer fellow. "Hit Me Up" is a crappy pop song that I only know from a Wheat Thins commercial, although it is apparently in the film "Happy Feet" and so not a Syesha song. But she snag OK, seeming to be very uncomfortable with the song. And to cap it off, Randy compares her to Rihanna? I love some Rihanna, but Syesha has vastly superior vocal skills. David C. got a song he could work with, Aerosmith's monster power ballad "Don't Want To Miss A Thing" and work with it he did. He made a smart choice to not imitate Steven Tyler's signature yowly vocals, but he did still pale in comparison. It was still a very hot performance, once again! Round 3 winner: David Cook.

David Archuleta should go home, but we all know he won't So poor Syesha will pack her bags and, if she's smart, go straight to Broadway. Oh, and can we do video packages to intro each song again? Going straight from interview to performance felt very high school talent show.

New Miley Cyrus - "7 Things"

Miley's back! And suckier then ever... I wasn't sure if "See You Again" was a fluke of OK-popness, obviously it was as this is pretty crappy. Dropping the dance-floor beat for a Ashlee Simpson-esque earnest pop-rock vibe. Like Jewel, only fake. With stupid lyrics like "if you text it, I'll delete" and the kicker: "the seven things I hate about you, you make me love you" and guitars, drums, strings and a really bad attempt at a punk growl. Listen if you wish...

Five Songs On Shuffle, Vol. 10

This is the tenth installment of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"Like A Star" - Corrine Bailey Rae Corrine Bailey Rae
Corrine Bailey Rae's debut CD is a little sleep inducing, and this song is a bit sleepy as well. It doesn't have the light as air summery pop sound of the first single "Girl, Put Your Records On" but it does have a smooth sound that works well in certain circumstances. But it is really slow.

"Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" - Lauryn Hill The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill
Lauryn Hill's first post-Fugees solo record took him a bucket of Grammys, and little wonder. The album features brilliant r&b songs like "That Thing" and tender ballads like "To Zion" as well as throwback sounds like this Frankie Valli cover. Lauryn should have been a '60s pop diva, her covers are stunning, besides this and "Killing Me Softly" she also does "First Time Ever I Saw You Face" live and it kills.

"Girlfriend" - Avril Lavigne Girlfriend [Single]
This sassy punk-pop (emphasis on pop) hit from last year is insanely catchy and has just enough grit to keep it from being too bubblegummy. A perfect sing-a-long chorus cements this as a pop classic.

"Music Is The Victim" - Scissor Sisters Scissor Sisters
Another "5 Songs" post, another Scissor Sisters song. I love this one, too. It has a hot opening line: "I left my heart in San Fransisco/At some motherfuckin' disco" and the usual Sister formula of seventies coke-rock guitars, dancefloor ready beats and dirty pop lyrics. If music is the victim, then so am I.

"Take It Off" - The Donnas Spend The Night
Y'all know I love some chick-rock, right? Heavy guitars, sassy vocals and hooky choruses, I'm not sure why The Donnas were never bigger than they were. This is one of their few hits, from their Atlantic debut album. They parted ways with the label after a second disc failed to yield any major radio play either. They are currently promoting an independent record, Bitchin'.

M.I.A.'s Clothing Line

I'm not sure who would want to dress exactly like Sri lankan rapper M.I.A. I heart her hip-hip with a world beat and punk attitude, and her duds are always eyecatching, but they sometimes cross the line between crazy-hot and fugly. But she has her own label, per Women's Wear Daily. It'll be bomber jackets, tee-shirts and leggings, so hopefully you can pick up some shit like this soon:

If you're lacking fundage to acquire this fierce threads, take a cue from M.I.A.'s video for "Paper Planes" and just [bang bang bang] and take the money!

Brooke White Has A Sense Of Humor

America loves someone who is willing to poke fun at themselves a little. Brooke White knows this and went on VH1's Best Week Ever to do a commercial for her new CD: "Brooke White Stops And Starts The Classics" Hilar!


BWE Sneak Peek: Brooke White Starts and Stops the Classics

Earworm Du Jour

Earworms are those songs that get stuck in your head, and you can't get rid of them no matter how hard you try. I've heard that you can get it unstuck if you sing "Michelle" by The Beatles, and it works sometimes. These are the earworms that were stuck in my head today:

Sometimes an earworm starts when you hear a song on the radio. This song played on FM 97 right before I went into work at noon, then proceeded to play in my head for the next four hours:

Other times the song occupies your mind without warning, without invitation. Those are the worst, especially when it's just a couple lines that get stuck. With this song, it was the first line of the second verse: "Here you come again, looking better than a body has a right to" And yes, it was the Carly Smithson version that was stuck, not the original. Isn't it strange how the brain works?

American Idol Recap - Rock n Roll Hall Of Fame Week

I didn't get American Idol taped last night, but I didn't spazz this time! I just hit the YouTube up for some vids, by 9:30 all the performances were posted. I only got to hear a couple of the judges comments, which is fine, so I missed Syesha crying and stuff like that. But I'm here for the tunage, so let's go!

Uh oh, David Cook is going first. The First Curse has taken out a few people this season, but I'm sure David Cook will be safe, I voted about thirty times for him. Because I love him, not because "Hungry Like The Wolf" was anything special. It sounded very similar to the Duran Duran original, and his vocals were OK, it really wasn't anything special. For his second song, he took on the Who's "Baba O'Riley" (aka the theme from CSI: NY) Again, the vocals weren't special and while he slowed the arrangement down to make it more "Cook-y" it's wasn't as hot as usual. But still kinda on fi-ya! Anna says it sucks balls, but so does Anna, so there you go!

Syesha Mercado did a great Tina Turner impression on "Proud Mary" but didn't bring much originality to it. The Ike & Tina version is so iconic, I'm glad she didn't try to "make it her own" or anything. Plus, it was pretty cool, so kudos to her! And while "A Change Is Gonna Come" was a little pageanty, it was solid. But did you see the girls all out and proud? It might not have been the appropriate song for cleavage baring, but damn, if you got it, flaunt it!

Jason Castro just needs to leave. "I Shot The Sheriff" was breathy, with god-awful vocals, no stage presence, just the worst I've seen all season. And he forgot the words to "Mr Tambourine Man" as well as sounding like a bad country singer. Go, Jason, go!

Nothing like taking a classic, soulful song like "Stand By Me" and totally whitening it out there, David Archuleta! He didn't connect with the song, despite what smoke the judges were blowing up his ass. It was not good, it was over sung and obnoxious. "Love Me Tender" was slightly better, but he's way too young and innocent looking to sing that kind of song. I didn't feel like he was singing it to someone he's in love with, which is what all good teen idols need to do.

Seriously, not a good week, y'all. Rather boring, and Jason Castro should leave, fo' sho'. Syesha may be in trouble, but probably not going anywhere.

Five Songs On Shuffle, Vol. 9

This is the ninth installment of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"Big Rock Candy Mountain" - Harry McClintock O Brother, Where Art Thou?
A vintage song about a hobo's paradise, from the Grammy winner for Album of the Year. The album is an amazing collection of Americana. Kind of silly.

"Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" - Madonna Hard Candy
Seriously, I just reviewed this album in my last post. Timbaland recreates the creepy/sexy score he perfected on Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me A River" to highlight Madonna's tale of a possessed lover. One of the best tracks from the new Madonna album.

"Chips Ahoy!" - The Hold Steady This Is Next Volume 1
I'm not really a big fan of this indie-rock tune. I didn't even know I had it on my iPod. It's about horse racing and having a good time, but it seems overly noisy. "How am I supposed to know if you're high if you won't even dance" is crappy "cool" songwriting at it's worst.

"Good Life" - Kanye West feat T-Pain Graduation
Really, is this just an updated "Big Rock Candy Mountain"? Kanye bites a line from 50 Cent, brags (a lot!) and loves the girls that "ain't on TV cause they got more ass than the models." T-Pain vocodes his way through, as usual.

"Love Me Or Hate Me" - Lady Sovereign Public Warning
The biggest midget in the game thanks you for the love with the best sing-along chorus in rap for years: "Love me or hate me/it's still an obsession/Love me or hate me/That is the question/If you love me/Thank you/If you hate me/fuck you" She's just an average British lass with a potty mouth. "I can't dance and I really can't sing/I can only do one thing and that's be Lady Sovereign" And we love your for it...

Review: Madonna - "Hard Candy"

The queen of pop is steaming up the radio again with her club friendly new disc, Hard Candy. Madonna straddles the line between hip-hop and techno with euro-synths, driving beats courtesy of the Neptunes and Timbaland, a smattering of smutty lyrics and the occasional 70s-funk/disco bass lines.
Even if you ignore the monster lead single, "4 Minutes" which you definitely should not, there are plenty of booty-shakers on here, "Give It 2 Me" pulses like every gay club, "She's Not Me" features biting lyrics taking on all pretenders to Madges throne while upping the roller-disco ante with funktified bass that "Beat Goes On" picks up (with a half-hearted Kanye West cameo) and "Heartbeat" explains what the deal is: "You'll find me on the floor/working up a sweat/that's what music's for."
Let's not ignore the slow cuts, though. "Miles Away" brings to mind the unjustly ignored "Love Profusion" from American Life and "Devil Wouldn't Recognize" is Timbaland at his post-"Cry Me A River" best: creepy pianos, rain sound effects, abstract BGVs and a downbeat to die for. Some might criticize Tim for doing another "Cry Me A River" but it is one of the best pop songs of this decade, so why not?
But if even if the beats are on point, it's the lyrics that don't always work. "Candy Shop" could have had candy/sex double entendre that made us forget the 50 Cent track of the same name, but the dirtiest we get is "my sugar is raw" Don't even get me started on "Spanish Lessons" and "Dance 2Night" those lyrics are best forgotten, at least the beat on "Dance" makes up for it, "Spanish" could have been left off the album.
But, is this a classic Madonna album? No. It's a great club album, and if any cut-rate dance floor diva had made it I would be floored, but Madonna has done much better in the past. But as is, I'm just pleased. It's fresh, modern and funky, I can't hate.

Madonna Plays Guitar?

Last night the still-reigning queen of pop took the stage at Roseland in NYC for a MSN broadcast, being her usual Madonna self. Grinding on Justin Timberlake? Check! Debuting some super hot tracks from Hard Candy? Check! Playing guitar? Che- wait, what? Since when did the material girl handle an axe? Since now! She plays it on a hard rock remix of "Hung Up" in this clip. View the awesomeness below:

Oh, and I'll reveiwing her sweaty hot new disc this week, keep your eyes peeled...