Review: Jay Brannan - "Goddamned"

"I wish my songs didn't suck" out actor/singer Jay Brannan sings on "A Death Waltz" and it seems his wish was granted. If Nickel Creek was fronted by a leather daddy, you would probably get Jay's blend of folksy acoustic guitar tunes with introspective, parental-advisory-sticker-worthy lyrics. From the deceptively sunny love song "At First Sight" to the wistful "Housewife" to the angry anti-religion diatribe of the title track, you get a glimpse into the psyche of the modern gay man. Both horny and romantic, informed by show tunes but not required to perform them in drag, not a modern minstrel show of "fablousness" but real lives and loves poured out in catchy four-minute story-songs. This is gay music for the coffee-house crowd.

Preview tracks at his MySpace and YouTube channel. Ignore his obvious hotness, and just listen. You'll get more out of it that way. ;)

Kristin Chenoweth: "It's Time To Stop Doing Tina!"

Did you know I love the Chenoweth? It's true! Pushing Daisies is the shiz, her rack is a fabulous part of that. But it's her voice, a perky soprano that made Wicked a smash hit on the Great White Way and netted her a Tony, that is the real draw. Plus she's funny as hell!

"You know what's not fun? Waking up in a puddle of your own urine and doo doo and someone else's blood" she chirps in this hilarious Broadway-style parody of A&E's Intervention, from Funny or Die. The song is just one hysterical line after another, and Kristin is so cute dropping street slang for meth. Plus: "We really can't go wrong, if you 'splain it in a song!"

Since I can't get the video to embed properly, just click here to view.

Five Songs On Shuffle, Volume 23

This is the twenty-third installments of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"Mashed Potato Time" - Dee Dee Sharp Maltshop Memories: Jukebox Gems
Ooh, that new dance craze, The Mashed Potato! C'mon baby, let's shimmy to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" but we'll have to take our socks off, so we don't mark up the gym floor. Ahh, the 1950s, so quaint and darling!

"Breathless" - The Corrs In Blue
Did you know for a good few weeks, I thought this was a Shania Twain song. So embarrassing, I know, but finally a DJ did his job and mentioned who was singing it. But when I bought the CD at the Salvation Army a few years later, I learned why it sounded so Twain-y, it was produced by Shania's hubby/producer "Mutt" Lange. Makes sense now! That's why I prefer to own the CD instead of download, you get the CD booklet with all that interesting (at least to me) information.

"Lead Me On" - Amy Grant Lead Me On
Believe it or not, this is my favorite song of all time. I can't explain it, it's one of Amy's better tracks for sure and I do love me some Christian pop. But it's not what most people would expect. Maybe that's why I like it, to keep people guessing.

"When I Kissed The Teacher" - ABBA More Gold
This is an prime example of why the Swedes do pop music better than anybody else. The lyrics are ridiculous, but so catchy. Apparently the intent of kissing the teacher was to embarrass him, only instead they both realized they were in love? Mary Kay Letourneau, much?

"Doo Wop (That Thing)" - Lauryn Hill The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill
I've been in love with Lauryn Hill since I saw her in Sister Act 2, and I think The Fugees version of "Killing Me Softly" is almost as good as the Roberta Flack version. But it was in the car with my cousin Jen and her cassette of the Grammy Nominees that I first heard "Doo Wop (That Thing)" and I was amazed. It's just so funky and cool, and the lyrics were not the normal pop or R&B thing.

"Swagger Like Us" - T.I. Samples M.I.A. With Help From Kanye, Weezy Baby and Hova

To think, it was about one year ago I hit Best buy before work so I could buy M.I.A.'s new album the day it dropped. I played it non-stop, turning all my friends onto the brilliant songs, especially "Paper Planes." That song was number two on my list last year, the album number one. But even I could never have predicted the kind of insane success she would have, thanks to the Pineapple Express trailer.

Apparently T.I. is among M.I.A.'s legion of fans, since he samples one line from the second verse ("No one on the corner has a swagger like us") for his new track "Swagger Like Us" and gets the three of the most skilled line-slingers in the game, Kanye West, Lil' Wayne and Jay-Z, to join him. A few primo lines spill out, like Jay's "Can't wear skinny jeans/cause my knots won't fit" or Kanye's "How's it feel to wake up and be the shit and the urine?" but I was really expecting more from The Best Rapper Alive, Lil' Wayne. But however hot (or not) the lines are, I'm just happy to seem someone else repping my girl Maya! T.I.'s Paper Trail drops Sept 30th.

Robyn Covers Nenah Cherry, Salt-N-Pepa at Melt! Festival

From Yahoo! Deutchland come a video of my very favorite pop diva this year, Robyn, from the Melt! Festival last month in Germany. She covers fellow Swede Neneh Cherry's "Buffalo Stance," Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It" and does both one of Snoop's verses and her own chorus from the Fyre Department Remix of "Sexual Eruption" before launching into her own UK hits "Konichiwa Bitches" and the brillant "Be Mine!" I love that she shows her love of old-school hip-hop, even if her latest disc goes in a more electro-pop sound. I don't understand why she is not getting more attention here in the States, even my pop-hating sister loves her! Do I have to tell you again? BUY IT! Watch:

Everybody Sing! Pop Divas Join Forces For "Just Stand Up"

All-star charity singles were huge in the 80s, remember "We Are The World?" But with exception of some failed attempts post-9/11, nobody has been stepping up to the plate. Well, no more! The all-female chorus on "Just Stand Up (To Cancer)" includes cancer-survivors Melissa Etheridge and Sheryl Crow; hip-hop chicas Beyonce, Rihanna, Keyshia Cole, Fergie, Ciara and Ashanti; multi-octave range rovers Mary J. Blige, Leona Lewis and Mariah Carey; country stars Carrie Underwood and LeAnne Rimes and pop-tarts Miley Cyrus and Natasha Bedingfeild. And, it's surprisingly listenable. Like most charity singles, the lyrics are trite, but hearing some of the best songbirds on the planet give it their all, although Leona could out-sing her duet partner Fergie, obvs! Listen below, and read the lyrics and a break-down of who-sang-what here.

Does Katherine McPhee Really Know What Boys Like?

Hottie rocker Daughtry and gospel diva Mandisa may have been my personal picks for American Idol '06, but that doesn't mean I didn't think Kat McPhee was stunningly beautiful and possessed a pretty nice voice. And I was obsessed with "Love Story" for a week or two last summer. So you know it's not personal when I rip on her godawful remake of new wave classic "I Know What Boys Like." It's a promo track from the alleged comedy The House Bunny and features Superbad's Emma Stone on a hip-hop breakdown over a reheated Missy Elliot beat. Yeah, you read that right. So bad, people, so stinkin' bad. Add in an obnoiuxious shout-out to the film's sorority ("Where my Zetas at?") and you have a song even Heidi Montag would reject.

Bettye LaVette is "Talking Old Soldiers" In Heartbreaking New Video

Y'all know I love the divas, right? I mean; I'm gay, it's kind of what we do. But, as much as I'm all about modern pop stars like Mariah, Leona and Britney, I have soft spot for the old school jazzy blues sound of Billie Holiday and Nina Simone, too. And Bettye LaVette is the modern day equivolent. Every phrase, nay - every word is just infused with such passion and back story, you don't wonder if her heart is breaking - you know it is! That's what the blues is all about, it's pain set to music.

In her new black and white video from last year's The Scene Of The Crime, the treatment is simple; just Bettye at a bar afterhours, smoking and reminescing. I just found out "Talking Old Soldiers" is a cover of an Elton John track, but Ms. LaVette twists a few lyrics and wrings every drop of emotion out of it. I doubt Elton minds. Watch:

Those Are The Videos Of The Year?

It's true, I am an old person trapped in an almost 25-year-old body. I will freely admit this. But please tell me I'm not the only one disappointed in the 2008 Video Of The Year nominees! Check out the noms here.

First off, the Pussycat Dolls had some hot videos off their first disc, I'm not gonna lie. I loved "Buttons" and "Beep." But "When I Grow Up" is the dumbest "song" I've heard in ages, and the video does absolutely nothing for me. They dance on top of cars (just like in "Wait a Minute") and on scaffolding (just like Paula Abdul) and on the sidewalk (just like "Singing In The Rain") The shot of them dancing in front of a lit-up "PUSSYCAT DOLLS" features some decent dancing, but I've seen better in a Danity Kane video. And the Day-Glo outfits? That pink jacket worn by Nicole should be reason enough to bar this video from being seen by people who are not legally blind.

The Jonas Brothers are an unstoppable force, I get it. I heard "Burning Up" played twice at a gay bar this weekend, which makes me think the DJ was a Boy Scout going for his pedophile badge. But the video treatment that's nominated is NOT the one they are playing on MTV. I've seen the JoBros way too many times on the MTV and all they do is play by the pool. But the version on the Nominees page is cut between the poolside pickups and some goofy fake action movie scenes. It's cute, but it should hardly stand next to "Video Of The Year" winners like "Nothing Compares 2 U" or "Work It"

I'm in love with "Forever" by Chris Brown. The video is pretty meh, but I can't hate on the amazing song. Never gonna win, though. And Britney's surprisingly self-aware look at the tabloids that she toys with and engages in a torrid love/hate affair with in "Piece Of Me" would be my pick for "Video Of The Year" if it weren't for the stunning Chic-meets-White Stripes fun of The Ting Tings' "Shut Up And Let Me Go." That song is catchy, quirky, new and worthy of being nominated. The video is cool, too...

So who should have been nominated? First big snub is Leona Lewis, who may not have had a showstopper of a video in "Bleeding Love" but that song is so freaking major, I would have nominated it anyway. And Eryka Badu's "Honey" was one of the coolest things I've seen all year, with the recreation of classic album covers like Let It Be. Duffy got all emotional and real with her second single "Warwick Avenue" which deserves some love. Who can forget Robyn? Any one of her videos are miles ahead of the competition. Mariah Carey got silly with 30 Rock's Kenneth The Page in "Touch My Body"'s nerd-centric fantasy gags. And for giving even gay guy's wood with her lipstick lesbian ways, Katy Perry deserves a nod for "I Kissed A Girl."

Some Gave All (I Just Give In...)

I finally gave in to the urge, the hunger, the want, the need, the DESIRE...

I was on my way back from my therapist appointment, and I only planned to buy new sneaks for work. I had my frequent buyer card for those, which make them cost 61 cents (I know!) But I had an excuse to stop at the mall, to find a place to put out Now Hiring signs (sure, that's the reason!) But my object of lust awaited. Remember the feirce sweater-vest-with-hood I blogged about? Well, my need for it grew stronger, and I was weak. I had a 15% off coupon for Express, plus I was easily swayed by the promise of another 15% for getting a credit card.

I was wearing my new (via Salvation Army) Georgio Brutini loafers and the click-click of leather sole on tile floor made me think I was Jordin Sparks (or Amy Winehouse, with a red dye job instead of beehive). And when you combine that sense of celebrity with the DKNY dark wash jeans hugging my ass just right AND crying out to be topped with more than a V-neck tee, I couldn't not give in. I am powerless against the call of the fashion sirens. So yeah, off to church I go, looking fly as fuck, y'all!

Five Songs On Shuffle, Volume 22

This is the twenty-second installments of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play.

"The Only Promise That Remains" - Reba McIntire/Justin Timberlake Reba Duets
This gorgeous Celtic love ballad, co-written by Mr Sexy back himself, is a departure for both artists. Justin is known for his hip-hop flavored pop hits, and Reba for her giant soaring ballads and catchy country-pop with a life lesson at the center. This is a simple, beautiful love song with Justin's soft falsetto harmonizing, but never overpowering, Reba's always-stunning vocals and a gentle guitar and string back-ground.

"LDN" - Lily Allen Alright, Still
Lily is riding her bike through my dream town, and sees what I would miss. Is that fancy looking couple actually a pimp/ho combo? Did nice young man just bash that old ladies over the head? And is that sunny Calypso music playing underneath a snarky lyric? Indeed.

"That Time" - Regina Spektor Begin to Hope
Regina reminiscences about the fun times: when she only ate tangerines for a month, when she would only read Shakespeare, when she and I would kiss anywhere except the mouth, when we broke and bummed cigs. Oh, and remember that time when I OD'd, for the second time? Yeah, fun times!

"Anytime You Like" - Robyn Robyn
Over a strange barely-there beat, Robyn waits to be told those three little words. You can tell her anytime you like...

"Marry Me" - St. Vincent Marry Me
Starting out like a lost Broadway tune, it gets quirky; and fast! She wants do what "married people do... what Mary and Joseph did, without the kid" over a strange drum and horn and piano beat.

My Top Twenty: "Strange Fruit" - Billie Holiday

Song: "Strange Fruit"
Artist: Billie Holiday (also sung by Nina Simone, Jeff Buckley and many others)
Year: 1939
Label: Commodore
Players: Billie Holiday - singer; Abel Meeropol - songwriter, (as Lewis Allan)

It was this photograph [warning, do NOT click if easily nauseated, NSFW] that prompted Jewish highschool teacher Abel Meeropol to write a the poem that would become my favorite protest song. In the picture, two African-American men are hanging from a tree, while white men and women mill around below, some pointing, none terrible shocked or offended. These men were lynched, not tried and condemed. they were murdered, because of the color of there skin.

Billie Holiday is a master of the American songbook, her voice infused with emotion both elating and depressing. But on "Strange Fruit" she is not downcast over her man's wandering eye, but by the injustice commited against her people, by her fellow man. It is one song that, to this very day, fills my heart with anger, fills my eyes with tears and makes my fists to clench. How can we have done this? How can people be so violent, so evil? I know it was a different time and place, but that can't even begin to make it right.

It's not just the subject matter that cuts into my heart, but the way it is presented with the evoctive lyrics: "Scent of magnolia, so clean and fresh/then the sudden smell of burning flesh" Just hearing that, it takes you there. To a place, so real, so horrible. It sickens you. Or at the very least, it should. "Here is a fruit for the crows to pluck/for the rain to gather/for the wind to pluck/for the sun to rot/for the trees to drop/here is a strange and bitter crop"

The song inspired Bob Dylan, was inducted into the Grammy Hall Of Fame and named Time's Song Of The Century.

Cazwell Has Seen Beyonce At Burger King! AND she was eatin'

I'm not one to go crazy over electro-novelty songs, but this new thing from New York's Cazwell (feat. Johnny Makeup) is off the friggin' chain! "I Seen Beyonce At Burger King" is a trashy & drag-queen-friendly & bootylicous & AWESOME! The song's plot is about meeting Beyonce at Burger King and lending her ten bucks. But the chorus is as catchy as anything Max Martin could write, and so delightfully obnoxious. Plus video is insane! Watch (via Electroqueer):

Carrie Underwood's Dramatic New Video

Reba, watch out! Carrie Underwood busts out the acting chops in her new video for "Just A Dream," filmed by her "Jesus Take The Wheel" director Roman White. In it, Carrie plays a soldier's young bride and really gives it her Reese Witherspoon-aping all. I almost broke down when she started crying and her wedding dress turned into widows weeds. Manipulating emotions is what country music videos do best, and this is a prime example of that. Watch:

Five Ten Songs On Shuffle, Volume 21

This is the twenty-first installments of my weekly blog entry series "5 Songs On Shuffle." Normally I’d put my iTunes on shuffle and blog about the first five songs that play, but since I forgot one last week I'm doing ten songs. It's only fair!

"What I Like About You" - The Romantics The Modern Edge
Long before it was the theme to the unfortunate sitcom starring Amanda Bynes and Jenny Garth, this was a karaoke favorite and bouncy sing-along punk song. Despite the harmonica, which is my most hated instrument of all time, it's so darn fun to sing I had to have it on the 'Pod.

"Thriller" - Fall Out Boy Infinity On High
Ooh, Mr. Carter intros the best punk-pop band of the '00s! Can it get anymore celeb-centric? "Thriller" might share the title with a classic Micheal Jackson album/song/video but it's not quite the same. Almost as catchy, though.

"Streets Of Philadelphia" - Bettye LeVette Song Of America
Maybe you don't remember, but there was quite a bit of talk late last year about Janet Reno and her nephew-in-law curating this three disc collection of American music from the 1400s to the present, much of it performed by indie and folk artists. Bettye LeVette is a soul diva who was shut out of the industry as a young person in the 1970s, but has had two well reviewed discs come out in the past couple years. She brings even more emotion to this Bruce Springsteen hit, as you would expect from a big beautiful black woman.

"Love You I Do" - Jennifer Hudson Dreamgirls Motion Picture Soundtrack
Speaking of big beautiful black women, my Oscar-winning girl J.Hud sounds sooooo good in this song, written just for the film version of Dreamgirls. She has such a strong voice, perfect for this sunny Motown-biting love song.

"When In Rome" - Nickel Creek Reasons Why: The Very Best
This song was the whole reason I bought the best-of collection by the now-defunct alterna-bluegrass trio. With a writing scheme more REM than Soggy Bottom Boys, but capturing the tradition elements of fiddle and mandolin, a new sound was born. Without Nickel Creek, I don't think I could have appreciated new variations on acoustic music like Jay Brannan's stuff as much as I do.

"Anyone Else But You" - The Moldy Peaches Juno
The lo-fi acoustic sound is almost amateurish, but the sentiment and writing on this song is stellar. Just sweet but strange, just like Juno herself. And seriously, I just imported this CD from the disc I borrowed from the library this afternoon, and it's already popping up on random.

"Mississippi Goddam" - Nina Simone Verve Jazz Masters 17
After one of the many racial-related crimes in the south, Nina wrote this bitter song in response. A super-simple piano line underlines the deservedly venomous lyrics about the broken trust between African-Americans and the rest of the nation. "Everybody knows about Mississippi goddam!"

"An American Crime (End Credits)" Petra Haden, Composed By Alan Lazar An American Crime
Petra Haden is known for her a capella work, like her brilliant cover of "Don't Stop Believin'" from the Guilt By Association album. Alan Lazar takes her wordless vocals and layers them in an increasingly creepy way, building up like strings in a traditional score before breaking into a piano solo and then returning to the vocals. Seriously, one of the scariest scores I've heard in a long time.

"My Interpratation" - MIKA Life In Cartoon Motion
Not one of the best songs from his poppy debut disc, but still a serviceable adult-rock style pop song. I just unchecked from my iPod, I'm out of room and need to add some of my newer acquisitions.

"U + UR Hand" - Pink I'm Not Dead
Yeah, it's just a dirtier version of "Since U Been Gone" (Max Martin wrote both songs) but it's still a classic in the dirty-pop tradition. Also, the best masturbation song since "She Bop"

The Better Coldplay "Viva La Vida" Video

The new Hype Williams lensed official video for Coldplay's number one hit "Viva La Vida" hit the interwebs, and it's a decent video, but rather boring. I'm guessing this is the one they will be sending to the VH1, which is a shame because the alternate version directed by Anton Corbijn is so much better! In this one, Chris Martin wanders about London in a crown and fur cape, looking every bit the deposed ruler. He sits in a bus shelter on a hill at one point and in a scale model village all while carrying a framed painting, which the picture used for the Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends album cover. It's quirky and in that grainy film that Anton likes to use. I think you should watch it:

My Top Twenty: "Stay (I Missed You)" - Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories

Song: "Stay (I Missed You)"
Artist: Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
Album: Reality Bites Original Motion Picture Soundtrack/Tails
Year: 1994
Label: RCA
Highest Billboard Hot 100 Chart Position: #1
Players: Lisa Loeb - singer, songwriter, acoustic guitarist; Tim Bright - electric guitarist; Jonathan Feinberg - drummer; Joe Quigley - bassist; Daniel Littleton - electric guitarist; Elizabeth Mitchell - harmony vocalist; Juan Patino - producer, harmony vocalist; Ben Stiller - soundtrack co-producer, Reality Bites director; Ethan Hawke - neighbor, Reality Bites star

In 1994 a chart feat was achieved for the first and only time. An unsigned artist topped Billboard's Hot 100 chart. That artist was Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories.

Lisa was performing in coffee houses in New York City when her neighbor and friend, actor Ethan Hawke, was filming Reality Bites, directed by Ben Stiller. Ethan suggested that Ben use "Stay" in the film, and Ben agreed. The soundtrack went on to sell over a million copies, pushing the single to number one.

After the release of Tails, which failed to produce a hit near as massive as "Stay" Lisa Loeb never released another album as part of Nine Stories. Three years later, her second biggest hit, "I Do," off her album Firecracker, was her last major chart appearance and she has since done a cooking show with then-boyfriend Dweezil Zappa and a reality show on E! Channel.

But it's "Stay (I Missed You)" that will be her legacy, even beyond being a historic chart anomaly. From the delightful acoustic guitar that opens the track, to the impassioned lyrics that are so full of regret and confusion, to Lisa's clear sweet vocals and cat-eye glasses, everything about this song is classic, clean, American guitar pop.

Idol Runnerup David Archuleta Has A Boring "Crush"

Elvis Duran of Z100 has a world premiere of lil' Archie's debut single "Crush." It starts like a boy version of "Irreplaceable/Tattoo/Take A Bow," then veers into kiddie rock territory (ala Jonas Brothers) for the chorus and bridge. The lyrics are typical teen-pop schmaltz asking "Am I crazy/or falling in love/is this real/or just a crush?" but he "knows this crush ain't going away" and blah blah blah. Even ignoring the lyrical issues, David's voice sounds a little whiny, especially when he sings "away-e-ay" over and over at the end. At the same time, there is that weird rasp I haven't ever liked. But however you slice it, when you compare the joyless sound of this song to David Cook's attempt at bringing some life and passion to the otherwise equally schmaltzy "Time Of My Life" it's hard to deny that America got the Idol race right this year. Listen to "Crush" here.