This week had a few better performances than last, but I'm still quite disappointed with the pool of talent this year! We need to get to top twelve week so we can have stylists and mentors and themes besides "How Much Can You Suck" week.
Starting us off is one of the thousand ambiguously gay contestants this year. Von Smith has an OK voice, I didn't think it was powerful enough to do Marvin Gaye's "You're All I Need To Get By" but judges sure loved it. I think he was really trying not to be shouty and the control caused him to be a little underwhelming. And Simon was right about his outfit, you can't wear the matching brown pants to your suit jacket with sneakers and a tee-shirt. You swap those babies out for a pair of jeans and you have a modern look. It may be played out, but it's a good look.
Taylor ViaFauna sang "If I Ain't Got You" - one of my favorites songs of all time. Not only did she make a poor attempt at switching up some of the phrasing, but she didn't have the power or range to perform a song like this. Since I didn't have any recollection of who she was, I wasn't that disappointed by her performance.
Oh, Alex! Yet another ambiguously gay boy, this time with the pretentious last name of Wagner-Trugman. He was an adorkable little goofball last time I saw him, so I wanted to love his performance of "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues. Also, the thought of a weekly dose of awkward-yet-homoerotic banter about work outs between Alex and Ryan was quite sweet. But alas, he tried to get all tortured and gritty with the song and it just came out strangled and sick-sounding. He's so much fun, and I loved the way he avoided the gender issue by mentioned his "long distance relationship." Dude, you're 19. Ditch the balls and chain and have some fun in Hollywood!
Oh gawd. Arriane Afsar has me so pissed off when she tried to make an "old song" (her words) contemporary. She did ABBA's brilliant "The Winner Takes It All" but sped it way up to fit the time constraints the show puts on the contestants. The problem is that "Winner" is stunning because of the slow build and you really can't do it the way she did. The vocals were jumping all over the melody, and that made it even worse.
Can I just say I love Ju'not Joyner right now? He took the Plain White T's song "Hey There Delilah" and gave it soul and smoothness. It reminder me of Luther Vandross's version of "Superstar" - not an improvement, just a new interpretation of a very white bread song.
I couldn't remember anything about Kristin McNamara's vocals, just that she was part of the group day meltdown with the other two crazies. So girlfriend needs to be hooking me up with some crazy or I will be disappointed. She does some Tracy Chapman, in a somewhat country-blues kind of way. I liked it, and I hate how the judges were trying to make her sing Kelly Clarkson-esque songs. Because I love Kelly, and I am OK with Kristin, but the two don't gel as well as the judges seem to think.
Here is one more portion of Group Meltdown, super-gay Nathaniel Marshall. He's going to do Meatloaf (of course!) and he's going to suck at it. Not quite suck, he doesn't have the vocal power that the 'Loaf possesses but he does have the attitude. Is that enough? I kinda love him in a little-brother-I-never-had kind of way. And he's so funny, and his interaction with Simon, Kara and Ryan needs to be turned into a web series right away.
Felicia Barton is the girl who almost got away. The girl has some pipes, I will say that, but she has a some weird phrasing. I generally liked her take on "No One" by Alica Keys, but I don't think it was that special.
And now we come to the emotional part of the night. Scott MacIntyre is blind? What, why didn't anyone tell me? Maybe they should mention that a little more. He's overcome so much, such an inspiration. Bleh. Sorry, I couldn't do it anymore. His vocal were better than I expected, but the awful song he picked, "Mandolin Rain" was exactly the kind of mawkish Lite FM shit I hate.
Kendall Beard is a country girl in a fabulous yellow dress with a corsage tied at the waist. It's kinda fierce, and I wrote that before Paula said anything. She didn't bring anything new to Martina McBride's "This One's For The Girls" and she did seem shrill in chorus. But the country fans may get her into the top twelve, she is very Carrie Underwood.
Ooh, I'm kinda loving Jorge Nunez. He has a lot of emotional power in his voice, and he has great stage presence. He did Elton John's "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" and killed it. But didn't Kara seem a little gleeful that she made Jorge and Paula cry? She seemed to get this big grin when his cheeks got wet.
We close with Lil Rounds, as we should. She is a ball of R'n'B energy! Nothing new was brought to "Be Without You" but she didn't need to. Just with her vocals and incredible stage work, she will sail into the top 12, and probably a lot further. We always need a diva, and I think found this year's.
I'm figuring on Lil Rounds as the lady, Scott MacIntyre and the man and either Jorge or Ju'Not as the other one. I guess we'll find out tonight!
No comments:
Post a Comment