Idol's Top 13 Perform Tonight, Who Stays, Who Goes and Who Goes All The Way?

OK, ladies and Norman Gentles, it's on like mutha-funking Donkey Kong! America separated the wheat from the chaff, and our first ever Top 13 American Idols hit the telly in just minutes. It's a bit of a sausage fest this season (and you know that's how I like it) but a couple of the ladies are in it to win it, too. Who am I loving so far, and who should hit the seal like PETA's worst nightmare? This... is American Idol!

Let's start with the boys, shall we?

Michael Sarver has that lovable lunkhead thing happening, and he's seems like such a sweet family man. He has a nice voice, he looks like he should be singing country but he has a more R&B vocal style. His aw-shucks persona will win him votes, the same voting bloc that took Josh Gracin to the top 5 will love him. I haven't heard anything to wow me yet, and I think he's gonna have to take a risk (maybe a lesser known soul song like "Ooh Child") to do that.

I don't think the judges know what they want from Jorge Nunez. I love the fact we have a true Latin American Idol contestant, and that he sings with such passion and emotion. They keep confusing him with "lose the accent, no keep the accent" instead of realizing that music fans don't care what the accent is, as long as it's real. I would love to hear him tear into a tender ballad like "Time After Time" or introduce us to something he loves from Puerto Rico. The only question is - will America vote for him? We might be finally ready for a black president, but are we ready for a Puerto Rican Idol? I've heard from white Idol fans who didn't think Fantasia represented "our" music, what will they think of someone who "wasn't even born here?" OK, end rant.

Oh, child. I cannot forget my future baby daddy Danny Gokey! Mm, that man is just so hot. The problem I have with him (which will not affect his chances of making top three, for sure) is pretty stupid. He has like six pairs of glasses, including some with logos on them that the producers have to clear before airing. Now, I'm a label queen. If I had the cash money to plunk down on some D&G's to frame my peepers, I'd be all over them like white on rice. But he's a church music minister, and runs a charity named for his late wife. I know it's petty, but why does someone need that many glasses, especially trendy one like he wears? Too each his own, though... But his voice is gritty and his stage presence keeps improving. I just wish he would pull out something a little less "inspirational" and tries to have fun with music. Try some "Bicycle Race" or something.

Scott MacIntyre is such an inspiration to us all, I can't believe he's blind and can sing! Someone should tell Stevie Wonder to try that out. OK, I made that more bitterly sarcastic than I probably should have. He's got a decent voice, but I'm not nearly as enthusiastic as the judges have been. His song choices are also a little sleepy, he needs to rock something behind the piano. But make it fun. Why am I thinking "Guilty" by Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb? Silly question, I'm always thinking "Guilty" by Babs and the Bee Gee. Cause it's awesome! Seriously, though. Scotty should totally be trying it. He'll stick around for a while but he's not the lock for the win I thought he was.

Adam Lambert is a theatre geek like Constantine. But with way better hair! He kinda rocks, but he needs to wear a little of the polish off and really go for the gusto. It often seems too rehearsed. The test of his grit? Try "Gimme Shelter" - it separates the men from the boys. He's totally top five, though.

Matt Giraud is basically Elliot Yamin 2.0. Which could be cool, as long as he avoids doing the same songs Elliot did. So far, he's failed. I would love to hear some "Your Song" by Elton John from Matt, I think it could be awesome. If he doesn't pull something hot out he'll be gone in couple of weeks.

Who is Kris Allen again? He's really cute, in a squeaky clean kind of way, but I'll be darned if I can remember anything he's sung so far. He better bring a Memorex-worthy performance tonight or he is gone, daddy, gone. Hmm, maybe he should try that song?

Anoop! Anoop Dogg is in the house! He's a goofy and fun, while maintaining some level of vocal talent. But if he sings "My Prerogative" one more time I will cut him. Have some originality, man! I loved "Angel Of Mine" - and I think another light R&B song is the way to go. "Cry Me A River" maybe?

Hey ladies! Don't think I forgot about you!

Lil Rounds is the obvious front runner. No one has shown such grace and charisma and polished professionalism. But American loves a growth arc, and she can't get much better. She needs to bring it every week, starting with another out of the park diva moment. Do "Bleeding Love" - I dare you. Lil has the power, and Simon can't really make a crack about the wrong song.

Alexis Grace has been compared to Kelly Clarkson, and I still don't see it. Yet. She does have great vocal power, if she picks the right songs she could make it to the top five. Prove the Kelly analogy correct and do "Never Again" And stop listening to the whores on the panel and don't worry about dirtying yourself up. You are fab as is, child.

Jasmine Murray is cute as a button, but I don't see her making it past the first week or two. If she steps up her game, maybe, but she needs to really power into a pop/rock song and avoid crossing Lil's demographic. I would suggest "Who Knew" by Pink.

Megan Joy is not going to win. She has a strange vocal ability, but I can't decide if it's good weird or bad. If she pulls a Regina Spektor song out of her pocket, I will love her though. Can't say the same for America.

Finally, Allison Irahta! She has the voice like a wild animal, just raw and rangy with more rasp than any teen girl should have. I would love to hear her tear into a emotional torch song like "Last Request" by Paulo Nutini, and if she avoids being cliched with her rock choices she could push her way into the top five.