Utilizing information from an online poll, survey and interviews with gay men from all walks of life, Bergling uncovers the truth we all know but don't always like to admit. Men are visual creatures, and we all have ideas as to what visual perfection looks like. The author explores the different sources that influence our desires, from early exposure to hot men in ads. You know the ones I'm talking about. No? Perhaps I'll refresh your memories...
No that we've a little hottie break, let's get back to the book! Tim Bergling provides anecdotes from a variety of men who like men and what they like about men. About what happens when men watch porn or act in porn; and those both performing and observing at the strip club. About the men we fell in love with as kids and the men we fall in love with now. (Psst, they're the same men!) About the boys in the gym, and those who love them... and those that hate them. About body image issues, about the bears vs the twinks vs the muscle queens. A lot of raw data, with an astonishing lack of filter. Despite the fact that Tim's picture presents him as good looking guy with a fit body, he doesn't come off with an agenda of proving that better looking guys are better people. Or worse people, for that matter.
I have a bad habit of believing in a "douche/hotness" scale. I've always felt that the hotter the guy, the more of a douche he would be. Which is totally wrong, because I don't know any really hot guys well enough to make that determination. How can I tell if they are douchey if I never really get to know them? I work retail so I've met a lot of different guys, at least for a few minutes. And while I've had my share of douchey male customers with hot bodies, there have been just as many average guys and gals that have been total twatwaffles.
Chasing Adonis is a light read, no heavy psychobabble or dry statistics. Just a bunch of gay gays doing what they do best: talking about other guys. I recommend it.
Chasing Adonis: Gay Men and the Pursuit of Perfection is published by Harrington Park Press and is available now.
5 comments:
I'm going to have to pick up a copy and read this for myself. I'm all about queer and gender studies. It was the only class I got an A in in college (only F grade: statistics).
I agree about the hottie/douche scale but what I've come to understand is that is has less to do with how hot a guy is as to how hot he thinks he is. I've met some fabulously sweet, charming, Crazy Hot men but because they didn't put much stock in their looks, they knew how to relate to others.
It's the constant mirror-checking ones that always want to give you the glance up-and-down and make some snide remark (which usually is followed up by me thinking "Oh, was that a challenge! I'll make you like me!" But that's more than anyone needed to know... What was my overall point? I will read book.
Hi Junior! I find the hottie/douche scale is more about the hottie's self perception also. I was just discussing this with my aunt, and she said the same thing. Guys who think about how hot they are can be the most insufferable men ever. But when they are hot and don't act like they know it, they are even hotter.
More importantly, where are you meeting these fabulousy sweet, charming, Crazy Hot men who don't put much stock in their looks? Cause I need to be haunting these joints, yo.
Well Paul, it all started... JK, I went to an all-boys high school and actually, you may be intrigued, when I worked at a bookstore, I met tons of Crazy Hot employees and customers, many of whom were as nice as they could be (to me anyway in our brief time together). So when you go to work, I'm just saying spritz on a little of that pheromone cologne and get to gabbing!
You are quite correct, Junior, I do meet a lot of nice, cute guys at work. I just have absolutley awareness of any connection beyond "sales clerk/customer" until later. I can think of at least three seperate occasions when a coworker has said "That guy was totally chatting you up." and I say, "No, I was just helping him find Crocs in his size." and they are all, "He was doing 'the lean' and was talking far longer than he needed to. He was so into you." But still, it's nice to know I still got it!
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