American Idol Recap: Born To Be Mild

This week our Idols were mentored by musical genius... Quintin Tarantino? OK, so he's a huge fan of the show, even going so far as to guest judge on season three. And he's a master of using music to set the scene in his films. He's also really weird, so he and the judges should get along great. Too bad Megan left already... Anyway, this week's theme was Songs From The Cinema, and we got the best of the sappy ballads that soundtrack the big love scenes and end credits.

Opening the show is Allison Iraheta, with the massive Aerosmith single from Armageddon, "Don't Want To Miss A Thing." The opening verse was really nice, her vocals had that mixture of tenderness and gruffness that Pink does so well. But she doesn't quite have the lungs of Steven Tyler, and the chorus was a bit more shouty than powerful. All in all, it was a truly solid performance and I hope my pink-haired sister is safe this week.

Still stuck in a ballad rut, Anoop Desai has figured out what America wants and is going to give it to her. Bryan Adams' Robin Hood theme "Everything I Do (I Do For You)" was really well sung, and he did have some great vocal inflections at places. But despite the fan fervor online, I found it no better, no worse, than his usual balladeering self. I need a really powerful connection to sell me on that many slow, sweet love songs.

Adam Lambert has never done anything boring in his life. I imagine picking up toilet paper at the supermarket even features a few lines in high pitched falsetto, and a dramatic kick at the cart rack. He's a rock star in a way not even last year's hot winner could have imagined. Adam kicked things into overdrive with an electric performance of "Born To Be Wild" that rocked, his stage presence is beyond that of any contestant in the five years I've been watching. It can be over the top, it can be dramatic, but it's never dull.

Look, it's some more Bryan Adams. This time it's "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" from Don Juan and Matt Giraud is the panty-drop-worthy hottie handling vocals. The opening was really awesome, the soulful vocals over the piano really sold me an emotional connection. But then the guitar broke in, Matt started losing the melody and a really lovely performance went south. He jumped the train on the bridge, and drowned under the weight of his own runs.

Gokey forces an emotional connection with me, and I feel violated. I'm guessing "Endless Love" was chosen with his late wife in mind, but it's beyond sappy and only barely works as a duet. Solo, and with that shouty thing he does when he his emotion chip starts kicking in, it needed either less harp, or less Danny. I'd prefer the latter.

Kris Allen picked the most fucking beautiful ballad of the last ten years and connects emotionally with it. Yeah, I've been playing the "emo-connect" card all recap just so I could salivate over this performance. "Falling Slowly" won the Oscar for best original song in 2008, and it well deserved it. It's haunting and has great melody and lyrics. And Kris just took this sinking boat and pointed it home, thanks to the background singers harmonizing with him at just the right moments. He is amazing, and may have just sailed into the top spot on my favorites this season. Adam, Allison, it's your moves. And Randy can suck my left testicle...

Lil Rounds, how could you? You choice "The Rose" (smart idea avoiding the cliched Whitney/Celine songs) and really gave it a hot arrangement. Huge props for that, you haven't showed that much versatility yet. BUT, and this one is almost as big and hot as yours, you never really committed to the vocals, the generic "session singer" sound didn't work over the traditional first half, and was even less convincing over the amazing gospel ending. That vamp could have cemented you a place in my top ten Idol performances of 2009, instead you just ending any chance of me voting for you. Ouch, that came out harsher than I wanted it to.

The bottom three should be Anoop, Danny and Lil, but it will probably be Anoop, Matt and maybe Allison. There is no way Lil is leaving, one diva always lasts to the top four and the final singer has never gone home outside of a finale episode. I hate to say it, but Matt may be singing for the Judges Save tonight. Sorry, my beautiful boy. At least I still have Kris to look at. He was the best of the night.