I know, you're scratching your heads on the title right now. But just because I'm not a sweet tranvestite from transexual Transylvania doesn't mean I can't do the Time Warp (again.)
Everyone knows there is no new thing under the sun, but the 80s are always being mined for inspiration in the music world. Vh1 had it right people do love the 80s! Every once and a while, a song goes beyond just inspired by the 80s. These are songs that sound like they just missed ending up on the American Top 40 With Casey Kasem for the week of October 28, 1984:
"The Wind Blows" - All American Rejects (from When The World Comes Down, 2008)
This is the song that inspired this list. I heard it on the radio a few weeks ago and thought "How did I miss this single from the Ladyhawke soundtrack?" That beat, the meandering electric guitar, the chorus, it's so 80s you'd expect it to wear sunglasses at night.
"Cool" - Gwen Stefani (from Love.Angel.Music.Baby, 2005)
Those new wave synths get quite a work out in my favorite solo track from No Doubt frontwoman Stefani. And who doesn't love a misty-eyed chorus about staying friendly with the ex?
"The (After) Life Of The Party" - Fall Out Boy (from Infinity On High, 2007)
Again, with the totally 80s beat! I can't get enough of the zillionth-generation New Wave sound that the emo kids are jacking, but this sounds like the first wave and Gary Numan was just getting into his car.
"One Touch" - Doe Deere (from Supernatural, 2008)
This is one jam that doesn't even look sideways at recreating New Wave rock. It's all club, baby. Like every Madonna remix and Shannon b-side rolled into a disco-drenched club thumbing booty groover, Doe Deere is the next Lady Gaga only ten times more old-school. Check it at MySpace, sister is doing for herself.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Mika Is "Golden", Also Shirtless. I'm Not Complaining
UK's quirkiest male pop diva since Freddie is set to release his follow-up to one of my top albums of 2007, Life In Cartoon Motion. The lead single is called "We Are Golden" and it's bouncy pop fun, as is the norm from Mika.
Not Mika's usual style is shirtless videos. The clip for "We Are Golden" features Mika having a divatronic meltdown in his bedroom, complete with some underwear only shots. Who know that Mika had a hot body, besides cute hair and a flexible voice? It's not fair! Watch:
Not Mika's usual style is shirtless videos. The clip for "We Are Golden" features Mika having a divatronic meltdown in his bedroom, complete with some underwear only shots. Who know that Mika had a hot body, besides cute hair and a flexible voice? It's not fair! Watch:
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The Kelly Clarkson Video I Almost Missed...
Sorry Girls 'n' Gays! I've been out of commission all weekend, between work, Pridefest, (EPIC!) taking a trip to the kinfolk up north and trying to squeeze in a little time with the boyfriend, I barely had a chance to breath since Wednesday.
I finally get a little moment to hit the interwebs and ZOMG! New Kelly Clarkson video! Junior had to draw it to my attention, this is the second time he's had to keep my head onstraight gay.
I've known forever that "Already Gone" was the next single from my once and future beard, the lovely and diva-licious Kelly Clarkson. I even wrote a video treatment concept a few months ago. But I beginning to think it was getting the "Sober" treatment and no video would ever surface. So when I saw the gorgeous stills from it a couple weeks ago, I started getting excited. It looked glamorous, it looked sexy.
The video is all those things, but it's also not very Kelly. She lounges on a couch wearing pearls, she wanders the halls of a swanky penthouse apartment, she's surrounded by a CGI orchestra. Don't get me wrong, Kelly looks stunning. But since when did she wear chandelier earrings and black floor length cocktail dresses? I'm all for changing up one's look, but this doesn't feel natural. When she runs her hand down the champagne colored dress, they look small and childlike. She doesn't look comfortable in any of the shots, she looks like a little girl forced to pose for a pageant. She did the old-school Hollywood glamour thing so much better in the Reba duet version of "Because Of You" - she needed something fresh.
WHAT THE HELL DID THEY DO WITH THE KELLY I LURVE (and the missing minute or so of song run time?) Seriously, I am not happy with this video. Kelly is such a dynamo on stage and in the appropriate videos, I wish someone would give her a concept worthy of her talent. Watch:
I finally get a little moment to hit the interwebs and ZOMG! New Kelly Clarkson video! Junior had to draw it to my attention, this is the second time he's had to keep my head on
I've known forever that "Already Gone" was the next single from my once and future beard, the lovely and diva-licious Kelly Clarkson. I even wrote a video treatment concept a few months ago. But I beginning to think it was getting the "Sober" treatment and no video would ever surface. So when I saw the gorgeous stills from it a couple weeks ago, I started getting excited. It looked glamorous, it looked sexy.
The video is all those things, but it's also not very Kelly. She lounges on a couch wearing pearls, she wanders the halls of a swanky penthouse apartment, she's surrounded by a CGI orchestra. Don't get me wrong, Kelly looks stunning. But since when did she wear chandelier earrings and black floor length cocktail dresses? I'm all for changing up one's look, but this doesn't feel natural. When she runs her hand down the champagne colored dress, they look small and childlike. She doesn't look comfortable in any of the shots, she looks like a little girl forced to pose for a pageant. She did the old-school Hollywood glamour thing so much better in the Reba duet version of "Because Of You" - she needed something fresh.
WHAT THE HELL DID THEY DO WITH THE KELLY I LURVE (and the missing minute or so of song run time?) Seriously, I am not happy with this video. Kelly is such a dynamo on stage and in the appropriate videos, I wish someone would give her a concept worthy of her talent. Watch:
Friday, July 24, 2009
[Diva Week] My Diva: Alice
And so it ends! Diva Week comes to a close with the diva, the girl whose path I have followed since I was a child. Before I started reading My Diva, I had a million divas in mind. My friends thought Madonna was my ultimate diva, I figured Kelly Clarkson was the diva I loved most.
But reading so many men who found a connection early on, I knew it wasn't Kelly. Don't get me wrong, I love Kelly. But when I though back to the diva who inspired me from childhood, it came to me.
I can't remember the first time I read Alice's Adventures In Wonderland or the sequel, Through The Looking Glass. I'm sure I saw the Disney cartoon very early on, with it's garish technicolored hues and catchy songs. But the book came into my life as child in an abridged from, one of those inexpensive children's hardbacks they used to sell at Walmart. As I grew up, I read the actual Carroll book many times and purchased an Annotated copy when I was teenager. I still read it once a year or so.
Alice inspires me. I know, a grown man of almost 26 being inspired by a small Victorian-era dreamchild is ridiculous. From the moment she sees that White Rabbit go running by, she follows it. She isn't fearful, she isn't stopped by the question of what practical good it is to chase a rabbit into it's hole. Even when her scenario turns frightening, she pushes on. Her curiosity and tenacity never waver, she still p
ossesses that childlike idea that if something is interesting one should pursue it.
A lot of strange and wonderful things happen to Alice in her adventures. She changes sizes, because she keeps putting on gloves and eating things she shouldn't. It should be a warning to her, but she doesn't want to stop experiencing things. That is one way Alice has inspired me. I often want to stop putting my hand in the fire, to give up on dating or writing. But I know that I will never experience life unless I risk it again.
I know there is much to said for contentment. But I don't want to be content with mediocrity. And neither does Alice, she pushes for that garden she spies through the key hole. She doesn't accept just sitting and having tea with a March Hare and a Mad Hatter. She has a goal, a dream. And she pursues it.
I wish I could be like that all the time. In my best moments, the ones that have resulted in the biggest joys, and sometimes pains, I am like that. Long before I started this blog, I had already chosen a name and the quote that sits atop the page. It's a quote from the very beginning of Alice's Adventures In Wonderland. There isn't really any special meaning to the quote, just something I liked and though fit the mood.
In fact, my favorite quote is kind of Alice-inspired. From Gwen Stefani's Wonderland-esque video "What You Waitin' For?" comes this gem that gives me the push to follow that White Rabbit down the hole into a new place I never dreamed of: "Take a chance, you stupid ho."
In a way, Alice has always been reminding me of both the joys and pitfalls of being a Diva. You carve your own path, you follow your own dream and know that through patience, determination and hard work you will get what you want. And be fabulous doing it!
But reading so many men who found a connection early on, I knew it wasn't Kelly. Don't get me wrong, I love Kelly. But when I though back to the diva who inspired me from childhood, it came to me.
I can't remember the first time I read Alice's Adventures In Wonderland or the sequel, Through The Looking Glass. I'm sure I saw the Disney cartoon very early on, with it's garish technicolored hues and catchy songs. But the book came into my life as child in an abridged from, one of those inexpensive children's hardbacks they used to sell at Walmart. As I grew up, I read the actual Carroll book many times and purchased an Annotated copy when I was teenager. I still read it once a year or so.
Alice inspires me. I know, a grown man of almost 26 being inspired by a small Victorian-era dreamchild is ridiculous. From the moment she sees that White Rabbit go running by, she follows it. She isn't fearful, she isn't stopped by the question of what practical good it is to chase a rabbit into it's hole. Even when her scenario turns frightening, she pushes on. Her curiosity and tenacity never waver, she still p
ossesses that childlike idea that if something is interesting one should pursue it.A lot of strange and wonderful things happen to Alice in her adventures. She changes sizes, because she keeps putting on gloves and eating things she shouldn't. It should be a warning to her, but she doesn't want to stop experiencing things. That is one way Alice has inspired me. I often want to stop putting my hand in the fire, to give up on dating or writing. But I know that I will never experience life unless I risk it again.
I know there is much to said for contentment. But I don't want to be content with mediocrity. And neither does Alice, she pushes for that garden she spies through the key hole. She doesn't accept just sitting and having tea with a March Hare and a Mad Hatter. She has a goal, a dream. And she pursues it.
I wish I could be like that all the time. In my best moments, the ones that have resulted in the biggest joys, and sometimes pains, I am like that. Long before I started this blog, I had already chosen a name and the quote that sits atop the page. It's a quote from the very beginning of Alice's Adventures In Wonderland. There isn't really any special meaning to the quote, just something I liked and though fit the mood.
In fact, my favorite quote is kind of Alice-inspired. From Gwen Stefani's Wonderland-esque video "What You Waitin' For?" comes this gem that gives me the push to follow that White Rabbit down the hole into a new place I never dreamed of: "Take a chance, you stupid ho."
In a way, Alice has always been reminding me of both the joys and pitfalls of being a Diva. You carve your own path, you follow your own dream and know that through patience, determination and hard work you will get what you want. And be fabulous doing it!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
[Diva Week] I Can't Forget The Classic Divas!
For Diva Week, we've been focusing on the new wave of gay icons. But it's not really fair to push aside the old gaurd. Old school glamour and posh never dies, and if you took a glance around my apartment you'd find a large print of Audrey Hepburn's classic Breakfast At Tiffany's pose, peering into the window with her large shades and coffee cup. You'd find an reproduction of a oil painting of Madonna, used to cover the thermostat. You'd probably notice the collection of Marilyn Monroe photos, and a collage I made in high school of newspaper clippings from her death. A print of classic scenes from "I Love Lucy" hangs near that collection, and a vintage picture of Elizabeth Taylor sits on a shelf in my bedroom. I also have collected a large amount of vintage pictures and statues of the Virgin Mary, and I'm not even Catholic. (I don't know if that's a "gay and his diva" thing, or just really weird...) My CD collection contains discs by Judy Garland, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Ella Fitzgerald, Cyndi Lauper and Whitney Houston. I have Julie Andrews soundtracks on LP. I could never ignore these classic divas.
I choose to focus on new gay icons because so much has already been written about these fabulous women that I wanted to shine a light on some fresh faces. But I would never forget these legends, these women who have inspired drag queens and gym bunnies alike. There is room in this world for more than one diva. Maybe next year, we'll go old school.
I choose to focus on new gay icons because so much has already been written about these fabulous women that I wanted to shine a light on some fresh faces. But I would never forget these legends, these women who have inspired drag queens and gym bunnies alike. There is room in this world for more than one diva. Maybe next year, we'll go old school.
[Diva Week] Kelly Clarkson: The Idol
For Diva Week at Pictures & Conversations we will look at 4 modern gay icons as well a special look at the diva I've idealized and followed (and not really fully realized until I read My Diva) since childhood. And no, you won't find out who that is until Friday. Yes, I'm a tease... Another day, another diva. This time it's the ultimate Idol, Kelly Clarkson.
Those who know my via my blog or in real life know I love Kelly Clarkson. In fact, at first she was going to be My Diva. When I started my blog on MySpace, the second post was a leaked clip of "Never Again", the first single from her fantastic third album My December. I must admit, though, I never watched the first season of American Idol. I thought "A Moment Like This" was a clever song, both a normal love ballad and a celebration of winning a talent contest, but kinda boring. I liked "Miss Independent" but didn't even buy her album.
When her sophomore set came out, I wasn't crazy about the lead single and title track Breakaway. It was kinda syrupy, but the all hell broke loose. "Since U Been Gone" was song that turned Kelly into a superstar, and I was hooked. "Behind These Hazel Eyes" came next, with a fucking brilliant video and an angry sing-along chorus. But it was "Because Of You" that cemented Kelly as my favourite pop star.
The slow building ballad, so fueled by the pain of a strained relationship with her mother, was the thing that sent me over the edge. It was a perfect parallel to my own relationship with my mother. Especially the bridge:
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
After the death of my father when I was 16, I did what any good son would do. I held up my mother when she couldn't hold herself together, I delayed any college plans because I could not imagine leaving my three little sisters and my mother to fend for themselves. And she let me. She let me throw that away, because she needed me. And I needed to be needed, I'm co-dependant like that. Which leads to the final lyrics of the song:
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
For the record, my relationship with mother has improved, and through therapy I'm learning to stop blaming her for my own actions. Still love the song, though.
So I was hooked, and My December was the line that pulled me in. From the opening line of "Never Again" with it's brutal "I hope the ring to gave to her turns her finger green" to the closing one-two punch of the suicidal ballad "Irvine" and bonus track "Chivas" - a goof about picking Chivas over a leering ex - I played the shit out of that CD. It's a cohesive artist statement about love and loss, something I didn't really know anything about yet but felt I had learned from this Texas girl. I wanted to be the strong person who could sing these words, from the acoustic rock ballad "Maybe":
I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
But I was a simpering fool who fell for the first guy who gave me the time of day. I wanted to be that girl who stood up to Clive Davis and said "This is what's in my heart, this is what I want to say." But that girl also had signed contracts and had to make another album. But not until she toured with her friend and duet partner Reba McIntire, who put on an awesome show in Reading last fall. I was there, it was epic.
Then came All I Ever Wanted. I didn't want to like it, it wasn't My December. But it truly is a collection of pop masterpieces, from the best songwriters in the business - Dr. Luke, Ryan Tedder, Max Martin, Kara DioGuardi and Kelly herself. It isn't the cohesive statement My December was, but perhaps that's OK. Kelly has some great songs, like the funk-pop title track and the ballad "Already Gone" for which a video is still coming. The stills from that clip (seen below) prove Kelly is still a stunning creature, and the album proved she has both the actual voice and the artistic voice to be a major diva for years. And, fuck it, if she put out a polka album today I would be all over that shit. I seriously love her.
Those who know my via my blog or in real life know I love Kelly Clarkson. In fact, at first she was going to be My Diva. When I started my blog on MySpace, the second post was a leaked clip of "Never Again", the first single from her fantastic third album My December. I must admit, though, I never watched the first season of American Idol. I thought "A Moment Like This" was a clever song, both a normal love ballad and a celebration of winning a talent contest, but kinda boring. I liked "Miss Independent" but didn't even buy her album.When her sophomore set came out, I wasn't crazy about the lead single and title track Breakaway. It was kinda syrupy, but the all hell broke loose. "Since U Been Gone" was song that turned Kelly into a superstar, and I was hooked. "Behind These Hazel Eyes" came next, with a fucking brilliant video and an angry sing-along chorus. But it was "Because Of You" that cemented Kelly as my favourite pop star.
The slow building ballad, so fueled by the pain of a strained relationship with her mother, was the thing that sent me over the edge. It was a perfect parallel to my own relationship with my mother. Especially the bridge:
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
After the death of my father when I was 16, I did what any good son would do. I held up my mother when she couldn't hold herself together, I delayed any college plans because I could not imagine leaving my three little sisters and my mother to fend for themselves. And she let me. She let me throw that away, because she needed me. And I needed to be needed, I'm co-dependant like that. Which leads to the final lyrics of the song:
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
For the record, my relationship with mother has improved, and through therapy I'm learning to stop blaming her for my own actions. Still love the song, though.
So I was hooked, and My December was the line that pulled me in. From the opening line of "Never Again" with it's brutal "I hope the ring to gave to her turns her finger green" to the closing one-two punch of the suicidal ballad "Irvine" and bonus track "Chivas" - a goof about picking Chivas over a leering ex - I played the shit out of that CD. It's a cohesive artist statement about love and loss, something I didn't really know anything about yet but felt I had learned from this Texas girl. I wanted to be the strong person who could sing these words, from the acoustic rock ballad "Maybe":
I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
But I was a simpering fool who fell for the first guy who gave me the time of day. I wanted to be that girl who stood up to Clive Davis and said "This is what's in my heart, this is what I want to say." But that girl also had signed contracts and had to make another album. But not until she toured with her friend and duet partner Reba McIntire, who put on an awesome show in Reading last fall. I was there, it was epic.
Then came All I Ever Wanted. I didn't want to like it, it wasn't My December. But it truly is a collection of pop masterpieces, from the best songwriters in the business - Dr. Luke, Ryan Tedder, Max Martin, Kara DioGuardi and Kelly herself. It isn't the cohesive statement My December was, but perhaps that's OK. Kelly has some great songs, like the funk-pop title track and the ballad "Already Gone" for which a video is still coming. The stills from that clip (seen below) prove Kelly is still a stunning creature, and the album proved she has both the actual voice and the artistic voice to be a major diva for years. And, fuck it, if she put out a polka album today I would be all over that shit. I seriously love her.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
[Diva Week] Does VH1 Read My Blog? Because Divas Live Is Back!
Apparently Pictures & Conversation's Diva Week is starting a trend, because VH1 has annouced the return of the best program ever on the channel, Divas Live! The current divas are my girl Kelly Clarkson (you may hear more about her later this week... wink), Leona Lewis (because "Bleeding Love" is every diva song ever rolled into one and covered in extra runs and histrionics), British soul-pop singer Adele (I'm not sure about "diva" but I kinda love her), and my sworn frienemy Miley Cyrus. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! x infinity.
I have a serious love/hate relationship with Billy Ray's spawn. I wanted to hate "See You Again" but the crazy club beat and surf guitars sucked me in. Then came "Seven Things" and I was back in hate. "The Climb" almost had me, it's simple melody and lyrics lulled me into thinking Miley was more than a moppet who liked to show her bra strap in MySpace pics. The I realized a 16-year-old (who was dating a 20-year-old underwear model) was just repeating the ancient maxim of "It's not the destination, it's the journey." I already know this, I based my David & Bathsheba sermon on that very idea. Then the facts she's already writing her memoirs makes me roll my eyes, seriously. Only Drew Barrymore can write a life story worth reading while still in her teens. (Seriously, read Little Girl Lost. It's epic.)
Anyway, I'm excited for the other three. I'm hoping for a "Moment Like This" sing-off between Leona and Kelly. Who's with me?
Related video:
Above:
Kelly Clarkson - "Moment Like This"
Leona Lewis - "Moment Like This"
Miley Cyrus - "See You Again"
Adele - "Hometown Glory [High Contrast Mix]"
I have a serious love/hate relationship with Billy Ray's spawn. I wanted to hate "See You Again" but the crazy club beat and surf guitars sucked me in. Then came "Seven Things" and I was back in hate. "The Climb" almost had me, it's simple melody and lyrics lulled me into thinking Miley was more than a moppet who liked to show her bra strap in MySpace pics. The I realized a 16-year-old (who was dating a 20-year-old underwear model) was just repeating the ancient maxim of "It's not the destination, it's the journey." I already know this, I based my David & Bathsheba sermon on that very idea. Then the facts she's already writing her memoirs makes me roll my eyes, seriously. Only Drew Barrymore can write a life story worth reading while still in her teens. (Seriously, read Little Girl Lost. It's epic.)
Anyway, I'm excited for the other three. I'm hoping for a "Moment Like This" sing-off between Leona and Kelly. Who's with me?
Related video:
Above:
Kelly Clarkson - "Moment Like This"
Leona Lewis - "Moment Like This"
Miley Cyrus - "See You Again"
Adele - "Hometown Glory [High Contrast Mix]"
[Diva Week] Chelsea Handler: Queen Of Late Night
For Diva Week at Pictures & Conversations we will look at 4 modern gay icons as well a special look at the diva I've idealized and followed (and not really fully realized until I read My Diva) since childhood. And no, you won't find out who that is until Friday. Yes, I'm a tease... For Day Three, we take a look at the always hilarious Chelsea Handler.
I first discovered the crazy half-Jewish/half-Mormon/all-ballsy Miss Chelsea through a clip show of TV pranks on VH1. It was from the Oxygen show Girls Behaving Badly, and she sat a bar getting drinks and bumming cigarettes from the guys there before revealing a pregnant belly. It was funny, but I didn't know how funny this girl could be.
I later caught her comedy sketch show on E! before buying her hilarious book My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One Night Stands. The candid, hilarious and extremely NSFW book features tales of sex, drugs, sex while on drugs, sex while drunk, sex with male strippers, her roommate not having sex and trying to have sex with a gay OB/GYN. It's even more funny than it sounds.
It was about the same time I was reading My Horizontal Life that E! gave Chelsea her own talk show. Her "little nugget Chuy," a fixture on The Chelsea Handler Show joined her on Chelsea Lately in a Gelman-type role. While her sketches (like "Dr. Lately") can sometimes fall flat, I love her devil-may-care interview style. Like her infamous comment to Aubrey O'Day ("You're a lot less stupid than I thought you were gonna be") or the brilliantly awkward conversation between her pickup-savvy self and The Pickup Artist's Mystery:
The best part of the show is usually the Round Table, where she and three guests discuss the pop culture news stories of the day, a style copied by the also funny It's On With Alexa Chung. She always has something funny to say and is not afraid to call out a guest comedian when they are unfunny.
Of course, her love for the gays is one of my favorite things about Chelsea Handler. She made a hilarious anti-Prop 8 video and has always been vocal about her support for the gays who have helped make her books and TV shows such a success. I think she loves her gays at least as much as she loves vodka and fat babies. Which is to say: A LOT!
I first discovered the crazy half-Jewish/half-Mormon/all-ballsy Miss Chelsea through a clip show of TV pranks on VH1. It was from the Oxygen show Girls Behaving Badly, and she sat a bar getting drinks and bumming cigarettes from the guys there before revealing a pregnant belly. It was funny, but I didn't know how funny this girl could be.
I later caught her comedy sketch show on E! before buying her hilarious book My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One Night Stands. The candid, hilarious and extremely NSFW book features tales of sex, drugs, sex while on drugs, sex while drunk, sex with male strippers, her roommate not having sex and trying to have sex with a gay OB/GYN. It's even more funny than it sounds.
It was about the same time I was reading My Horizontal Life that E! gave Chelsea her own talk show. Her "little nugget Chuy," a fixture on The Chelsea Handler Show joined her on Chelsea Lately in a Gelman-type role. While her sketches (like "Dr. Lately") can sometimes fall flat, I love her devil-may-care interview style. Like her infamous comment to Aubrey O'Day ("You're a lot less stupid than I thought you were gonna be") or the brilliantly awkward conversation between her pickup-savvy self and The Pickup Artist's Mystery:
The best part of the show is usually the Round Table, where she and three guests discuss the pop culture news stories of the day, a style copied by the also funny It's On With Alexa Chung. She always has something funny to say and is not afraid to call out a guest comedian when they are unfunny.
Of course, her love for the gays is one of my favorite things about Chelsea Handler. She made a hilarious anti-Prop 8 video and has always been vocal about her support for the gays who have helped make her books and TV shows such a success. I think she loves her gays at least as much as she loves vodka and fat babies. Which is to say: A LOT!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
[Diva Week] Cyndi Raps, Lil' Kim Croons, The World Is A Better Place
Cyndi Lauper is an old school gay icon and Lil' Kim is a bit younger but with a gay following as big as her fake boobs. So, yeah, when I saw this video from Nelson Mandela's birthday concert of the two doing a mash up of "Time After Time" and "Put Ya Lighters Up" I knew it was perfect for Diva Week! While Kim's vocals leave something to be desired, she gamely tackles back up vocals on the chorus and goes solo on a verse of one of the all time greatest pop songs of all time. And Cyndi can do no wrong, even her few lines of "Lighters Up" were pure genius. Her hair on the other hand... Watch:
[Diva Week] Taylor Swift: Country Cutie Who Loves Perez Hilton
For Diva Week at Pictures & Conversations we will look at 4 modern gay icons as well a special look at the diva I've idealized and followed (and not really fully realized until I read My Diva) since childhood. And no, you won't find out who that is until Friday. Yes, I'm a tease... Day Two, Diva Two - teenage country diva Taylor Swift.
I first discovered Taylor Swift the old fashioned way. I heard her debut single "Tim McGraw" on a local country radio station. Thing is, I really didn't have much of an opinion about it, or the young blond girl singing it.
That all changed when the follow up single, the torchy unrequited love ballad "Teardrops On My Guitar", hit country radio and CMT. The country mixes, both the radio edit and the album version, are pure heartbreak. Don't even get me started on the pop mix! But more than the typical country heartache song, "Teardrops On My Guitar" perfectly exemplifies a gay man's crush on a straight man. You become friends with them, you listen to the ups and downs of their love lives and you dream. And you cry a little. It hurts, because...
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one whose got enough of me to break my heart
Taylor tackles every diva look she can. She's a feisty ex girlfriend tearing everything up (including his reputation) on "Picture To Burn" and classic fairytale princess in "Love Story." But I didn't she she could get any realer than when she reveals her unrequited crush like on "Teardrops" or current hit single "You Belong With Me." Then I hear "White Horse" - a tale so grown up, so in command as she plays a woman in love, but not crippled by it. She knows it's too late to forgive an errant ex because
I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm gonna find someone out there who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearveiw mirror disappearing now
While Taylor might not have the gay clout that my other divas have, she did tell Blender magazine she'd love for Perez Hilton to be her date to prom. And her lyrics speak to my own experiences as a gay man, like every good diva's should. Plus, she's cute as a button!
I first discovered Taylor Swift the old fashioned way. I heard her debut single "Tim McGraw" on a local country radio station. Thing is, I really didn't have much of an opinion about it, or the young blond girl singing it.
That all changed when the follow up single, the torchy unrequited love ballad "Teardrops On My Guitar", hit country radio and CMT. The country mixes, both the radio edit and the album version, are pure heartbreak. Don't even get me started on the pop mix! But more than the typical country heartache song, "Teardrops On My Guitar" perfectly exemplifies a gay man's crush on a straight man. You become friends with them, you listen to the ups and downs of their love lives and you dream. And you cry a little. It hurts, because...
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one whose got enough of me to break my heart
Taylor tackles every diva look she can. She's a feisty ex girlfriend tearing everything up (including his reputation) on "Picture To Burn" and classic fairytale princess in "Love Story." But I didn't she she could get any realer than when she reveals her unrequited crush like on "Teardrops" or current hit single "You Belong With Me." Then I hear "White Horse" - a tale so grown up, so in command as she plays a woman in love, but not crippled by it. She knows it's too late to forgive an errant ex because
I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm gonna find someone out there who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearveiw mirror disappearing now
While Taylor might not have the gay clout that my other divas have, she did tell Blender magazine she'd love for Perez Hilton to be her date to prom. And her lyrics speak to my own experiences as a gay man, like every good diva's should. Plus, she's cute as a button!
Monday, July 20, 2009
[Diva Week] Regina Spektor: Russian Anti-Folk Diva
For Diva Week at Pictures & Conversations we will look at 4 modern gay icons as well a special look at the diva I've idealized and followed (and not really fully realized until I read My Diva) since childhood. And no, you won't find out who that is until Friday. Yes, I'm a tease... First up is Russian-born anti-folk singer Regina Spektor.
As I've mentioned before, I found fiery NYC-dweller Regina Spektor thanks to VH1. Her video for "Fidelity" was in heavy rotation for a while, the black and white decor and costuming was eye catching pop art and the ending, where Regina and her male costar star throwing pigment inks around the apartment, was sheer joyful punk insanity.
I wouldn't classify Regina Spektor's music as punk, despite her intentionally "punk" sound on songs like "Your Honor" and "Poor Little Rich Boy". But her music is classified as "anti-folk" - a bizarre catch-all genre encompassing artists who blend punk, folk, blues and classical music in a strange swirl of postmodern pop.
Besides the music video, VH1's interview clip that accompanied it was also engrossing. Here was this Russian-born, Bronx-dwelling pixie talking about being influenced by art and literature in her music. It sounded so very high brow and new, so I had to buy the album.
Begin To Hope ran the gamut of sounds and influences. Her ode to Billie Holiday "Lady" features smokey jazz influences as well as lyrics that pay tribute in a slightly subversive way.
Corner street societies
They believe her
They never leave her
While she sings she makes them feel things
Meanwhile the chorus speaks directly to my own reaction to Billie's music:
She says I can sing this song so blue
That you will cry in spite of you
Little wet tears on your baby's shoulder
Little wet tears on your baby's shoulder
Also on the weepy-gay-boy front, "Samson" just kills me. The biblical tale of Samson's infamous strength-killing haircut takes a new, quieter tone with Regina's Samson eating a slice of Wonder Bread after his haircut (with "a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light") and goes to bed. I've already wrote a whole post on this classical-influenced single so I won't go on too much more. But the video is also brill:
Regina Spektor - Samson
Other amazing song from Begin To Hope are "Edit" in which Regina uses the piano as a percussion instrument and the dramatic classical influenced "Apres Moi." Her latest effort, Far, features songs with a Dark City vibe ("Machine") and tales of a lost wallets and people winning awards for being the Human of the Year. It's lyrics like that, influenced by art and literature then refracted through a strange prism of insanity, that draw me in.
But to be one my Modern Gay Divas you need more than talent and a vajayjay. You need to be giving back to the gay community that has made you a diva. Regina has done that in two remarkable ways, by participating in 2008's True Colors Tour (headlined by Cyndi Lauper and featuring Joan Jett, Tegan & Sara, the B-52's and Joan Jett) as well as allowing the use of "Fidelity" in a heartbreaking anti-Prop 8 video for the Courage Campaign. That's my diva!
As I've mentioned before, I found fiery NYC-dweller Regina Spektor thanks to VH1. Her video for "Fidelity" was in heavy rotation for a while, the black and white decor and costuming was eye catching pop art and the ending, where Regina and her male costar star throwing pigment inks around the apartment, was sheer joyful punk insanity.
I wouldn't classify Regina Spektor's music as punk, despite her intentionally "punk" sound on songs like "Your Honor" and "Poor Little Rich Boy". But her music is classified as "anti-folk" - a bizarre catch-all genre encompassing artists who blend punk, folk, blues and classical music in a strange swirl of postmodern pop.
Besides the music video, VH1's interview clip that accompanied it was also engrossing. Here was this Russian-born, Bronx-dwelling pixie talking about being influenced by art and literature in her music. It sounded so very high brow and new, so I had to buy the album.
Begin To Hope ran the gamut of sounds and influences. Her ode to Billie Holiday "Lady" features smokey jazz influences as well as lyrics that pay tribute in a slightly subversive way.
Corner street societies
They believe her
They never leave her
While she sings she makes them feel things
Meanwhile the chorus speaks directly to my own reaction to Billie's music:
She says I can sing this song so blue
That you will cry in spite of you
Little wet tears on your baby's shoulder
Little wet tears on your baby's shoulder
Also on the weepy-gay-boy front, "Samson" just kills me. The biblical tale of Samson's infamous strength-killing haircut takes a new, quieter tone with Regina's Samson eating a slice of Wonder Bread after his haircut (with "a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light") and goes to bed. I've already wrote a whole post on this classical-influenced single so I won't go on too much more. But the video is also brill:
Regina Spektor - Samson
Other amazing song from Begin To Hope are "Edit" in which Regina uses the piano as a percussion instrument and the dramatic classical influenced "Apres Moi." Her latest effort, Far, features songs with a Dark City vibe ("Machine") and tales of a lost wallets and people winning awards for being the Human of the Year. It's lyrics like that, influenced by art and literature then refracted through a strange prism of insanity, that draw me in.
But to be one my Modern Gay Divas you need more than talent and a vajayjay. You need to be giving back to the gay community that has made you a diva. Regina has done that in two remarkable ways, by participating in 2008's True Colors Tour (headlined by Cyndi Lauper and featuring Joan Jett, Tegan & Sara, the B-52's and Joan Jett) as well as allowing the use of "Fidelity" in a heartbreaking anti-Prop 8 video for the Courage Campaign. That's my diva!
Read This! "My Diva: 65 Gay Men on the Women Who Inspire Them" - Edited by Michael Montlack
Just in time for Harrisburg's Pride Fest, we're talking divas all week! And what better way to start out the week with a review of the brand new book that inspired the theme, My Diva.
Gay men and divas go back as far as pop culture history. From Billie Holiday's male assistant who would borrow her furs and
clothes for a night out on the town to Lady Gaga's massive gay following, gay men love women who are larger than life. But My Diva covers more than the "Liza-Judy-Barbra-Bette, these are names we shan't forget" gaggle of Divas/Goddesses/Icons. In fact, Judy Garland and Barbra Striesand don't even get an entry, instead the focus is on the ladies with whom the authors felt a personal connection with. Bjork, Nina Simone and Sade take their place, as well as authors like Virgina Wolfe and chefs like Julia Child. There is more to being a diva than sequins and hysterics.
We hear the memories of a little boy locking himself away from his troubles with Bewitched reruns in Richard Blanco's ode to Endora. We identify with the heartbreak that leads Patrick Letellier to draw strength from Queen Elizabeth I. While we may not know the same cultural circumstances that lead Kenji Oshima to idealize Margaret Cho, we get a better glimpse at the childhood of a young Asian gay man.
And some of the classic divas do stroll in: Cher, Liz, Miss Ross. But no one descends into yippy fangirling. These real men found a muse, a mother figure or a heroine in the women whose varying degrees of fame don't distract from the devotion and worship of their divas. Some have personal connections to the ladies they love, others have only seen them breifly, and many only know them through the magic of the page, radio or screen. Fictional charactors can be divas, too. Wonder Woman, Princess Leia and Auntie Mame each inspire without being real.
Each entry is but a few pages, making My Diva a swift and breezy read. Even though it's not a paperback, I'd even recommend it as a beach read. Because of the shortness of the stories, when you hit a strangely paced bit like the artsy Anna Moffo bit, you'll get to another sweet, funny, poignant or bittersweet tale of a man and his diva. 65 divas, 65 men who love them. What else do you need?
Gay men and divas go back as far as pop culture history. From Billie Holiday's male assistant who would borrow her furs and
clothes for a night out on the town to Lady Gaga's massive gay following, gay men love women who are larger than life. But My Diva covers more than the "Liza-Judy-Barbra-Bette, these are names we shan't forget" gaggle of Divas/Goddesses/Icons. In fact, Judy Garland and Barbra Striesand don't even get an entry, instead the focus is on the ladies with whom the authors felt a personal connection with. Bjork, Nina Simone and Sade take their place, as well as authors like Virgina Wolfe and chefs like Julia Child. There is more to being a diva than sequins and hysterics.We hear the memories of a little boy locking himself away from his troubles with Bewitched reruns in Richard Blanco's ode to Endora. We identify with the heartbreak that leads Patrick Letellier to draw strength from Queen Elizabeth I. While we may not know the same cultural circumstances that lead Kenji Oshima to idealize Margaret Cho, we get a better glimpse at the childhood of a young Asian gay man.
And some of the classic divas do stroll in: Cher, Liz, Miss Ross. But no one descends into yippy fangirling. These real men found a muse, a mother figure or a heroine in the women whose varying degrees of fame don't distract from the devotion and worship of their divas. Some have personal connections to the ladies they love, others have only seen them breifly, and many only know them through the magic of the page, radio or screen. Fictional charactors can be divas, too. Wonder Woman, Princess Leia and Auntie Mame each inspire without being real.
Each entry is but a few pages, making My Diva a swift and breezy read. Even though it's not a paperback, I'd even recommend it as a beach read. Because of the shortness of the stories, when you hit a strangely paced bit like the artsy Anna Moffo bit, you'll get to another sweet, funny, poignant or bittersweet tale of a man and his diva. 65 divas, 65 men who love them. What else do you need?
Friday, July 17, 2009
The Paradiso Girls Want To Get Me Drunk On Margaritas. Should I Let Them?
I've been debating whether the lead single from Pussycat Dolls creator Robin Antin's new girl group was good trashy or bad trashy. It's a ode to getting drunk on margaritas and throwing up, written by newly minted pop princess Keri Hilson. Eve and Lil' Jon guest on "Patron Tequila" (the only kind of tequila that I don't hate doing shots of) and I've decided it's actually pretty fly.
The biggest difference between the five ladies of Paradiso Girls and the original five members of PCD is the fact that more than one Girl sings on the lead single, as opposed to Nicole doing all the vocals on the early Dolls' tracks. Also, each Paradiso Girl is from a different country, lending a cool international vibe. That's due to the accented vocals the Girls provide, especially French born, Transylvania dwelling Aria.
Anyway, "Patron Tequila" is pretty much a party-starter. The beat is crazy, the chorus really hooks you and the five ladies are kinda hot. Not that care, but the straight boys might... Watch:
The biggest difference between the five ladies of Paradiso Girls and the original five members of PCD is the fact that more than one Girl sings on the lead single, as opposed to Nicole doing all the vocals on the early Dolls' tracks. Also, each Paradiso Girl is from a different country, lending a cool international vibe. That's due to the accented vocals the Girls provide, especially French born, Transylvania dwelling Aria.
Anyway, "Patron Tequila" is pretty much a party-starter. The beat is crazy, the chorus really hooks you and the five ladies are kinda hot. Not that care, but the straight boys might... Watch:
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I Break Down, Line By Line, Why "Birthday Sex" Is The Worst Song Of 2009
You know radio station programmers are stupid, right? I know, that's kinda mean. But it's frakking true, what else could explain the constant airplay given to god-awful "music" like the Pussycat Dolls' "When I Grow Up" or the entire catalog of Hinder singles?
Today's example comes in two flavors. Jeremih's "Birthday Sex" is currently at number seven on the Billboard Hot 100, peaking at number four during it's 13-week run. It's also at 15 on the Pop Airplay chart. Based on local airplay, I would put that number higher, but there may be radio programmers with taste in other parts of the nation. I would like to move to those places. The song isn't just awful with one beat, the radio mix features a faster, more technological beat where the original mix is more sparing on the beat.
The beat is pretty much unimportant. The lyrics, that is where the awfulness concentrates. Let's take a closer look, mmkay? Totes NSFW, bee-tee-dubs.
"It's yo birthday, so I know you want to ride out/Even if we only go to my house/Sip mo-eezy as we sit upon my couch" - Just what I wanted! To "only" go to your house and sit on the couch. At least take me to Red Lobster first, y'know? I don't ask for much, maybe dinner with a couple of friends. Better yet, a small party, with a karaoke player and some Smirnoff Ice. I'm not asking for a circus-themed extravaganza with a surprise performance by Britney Spears, just a little gathering with a couple of drinks and Chex Party Mix. But no, you bought something called "mo-eezy" and we are going to sip it. Sounds like a lot of planning went into this evening.
"Feels good, but I know you want to cry out" -Lemme guess? You think you'll be the one to make me cry out. Maybe if your junk smells like onions.
"You say you want passion, I think you found it/Get ready for action, don't be astounded" - You "think" I found it? Try being a little more sure. So far, you've only proven you can buy "mo-eezy" and drive from my house to yours. I need a bit more proof that you can astound me with your moves.
"We switching positions, you feel surrounded" - Switching positions already? Is it because the shoulder-holder makes it difficult to get your tiny dick in? And how are you surrounding me? If you wrap your legs and arms around does that mean I'm topping this time?
"Tell me where you want your gift, girl" - I want my gift inside you. 'Bout damn time I got to top, I shouldn't have to wait for my birthday.
"Girl you know I-I-I/Girl you know I-I-II been feenin/Wake up in the late night/Been dreamin' about your loving, girl" - I thought this was your gift to me, on my birthday. So why are you the one getting so excited?
"Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I/Don't need candles and cake/Just need your body to make..." - That's what you think, bub. I want a cake, I want candles, I want a fucking petting zoo and balloon animals! And for my birthday, you need my body? Seriously, I have to help with my own gift? Damn, you a lazy boyfriend.
"Birthday sex... Birthday sex... (It's the best day of the year girl)" - It'd be better with cake, I'm telling you...
"Birthday sex... Birthday sex (G-spot g-spot let me hit that g-spot g-spot girl)" - Now you need permission to hit the G-spot? Do you also need a map and GPS? Rhetorical question, of course you do. And a native tour guide.
"See you sexy in them jeans got me on 10" - See, you're making my birthday sex all about you again! And by "on 10" I assume you mean inches? Of dildo?
"1-2-3... Think I got you pinned/Don't tap out, fight until the end/Ring that bell, and we gon start over again" - Wow, boxing metaphors. Really? I'm not sure Rihanna or Tina Turner would approve.
"We grindin' with passion, 'cause it's your birthday" - The rest of the year, you just don't even bother, do you?
"Been at it for hours, I know you thirsty" - Since when was ten minutes of begging for oral followed by three minutes of sex and you falling asleep for 45 minutes on my shoulder qualify as "at it for hours?" And yes, I am thirsty. But I really don't want anymore of your nasty ass "mo-eezy."
"You kiss me so sweetly, taste just like Hershey's" - That's why I hate giving rim jobs.
"Just tell me how you want your gift, girl" - I'd like to unwrap it, squeal at the Tiffany blue box, the squeal some more at the size of the diamond, then thank you with a BJ. Is that so much to ask for?
"First, I'm gonna take a dive into the water deep/Until I know I pleased that body (body)" - Seriously? "First"? What the fuck have we been doing the last two verse and a chorus? And if you enjoy water sports, I am fucking out of here. Homie don't play that.
"Or girl without a broom I might just sweep you off yo feet/And make you wanna tell somebody (body) how I do" - So far, you have done nothing that would make wanna tell anyone anything. Quit bragging and get your teeth on my zipper.
"Or maybe we can float on top my water bed (bed)/You close your eyes as I improv between your legs" - Oh, I see. When you completely goofed up and nibbling on my belly button you were just improving? That also explains why you asked the audience for a location.
"We work our way from kitchens, stoves and tables/Girl, you know I'm more than able to please yeah" - You are going to bang me on your stove? Not only would I fear the range would turn on, even cold burners pressed up against my back (or chest, would it be easier doggie style?) would be way too uncomfortable. And kitchen sex is so 9 1/2 Weeks ago.
"You say you wanted flowers on the bed (on the bed)/But you got me in hours on the bed" - Because you couldn't do both? You couldn't stop at the grocery store, buy a couple of rose and sprinkle the petals on the sheets before you dragged me over here? And the sex is supposed to make up for lack of saying it with flowers. You are lucky I'm horny, or you wouldn't be getting any after this lackluster birthday. Next year, just order a Chik-Fil-A party platter and stripper and invite a few friends. I'd be more in the mood after that.
Today's example comes in two flavors. Jeremih's "Birthday Sex" is currently at number seven on the Billboard Hot 100, peaking at number four during it's 13-week run. It's also at 15 on the Pop Airplay chart. Based on local airplay, I would put that number higher, but there may be radio programmers with taste in other parts of the nation. I would like to move to those places. The song isn't just awful with one beat, the radio mix features a faster, more technological beat where the original mix is more sparing on the beat.
The beat is pretty much unimportant. The lyrics, that is where the awfulness concentrates. Let's take a closer look, mmkay? Totes NSFW, bee-tee-dubs.
"It's yo birthday, so I know you want to ride out/Even if we only go to my house/Sip mo-eezy as we sit upon my couch" - Just what I wanted! To "only" go to your house and sit on the couch. At least take me to Red Lobster first, y'know? I don't ask for much, maybe dinner with a couple of friends. Better yet, a small party, with a karaoke player and some Smirnoff Ice. I'm not asking for a circus-themed extravaganza with a surprise performance by Britney Spears, just a little gathering with a couple of drinks and Chex Party Mix. But no, you bought something called "mo-eezy" and we are going to sip it. Sounds like a lot of planning went into this evening.
"Feels good, but I know you want to cry out" -Lemme guess? You think you'll be the one to make me cry out. Maybe if your junk smells like onions.
"You say you want passion, I think you found it/Get ready for action, don't be astounded" - You "think" I found it? Try being a little more sure. So far, you've only proven you can buy "mo-eezy" and drive from my house to yours. I need a bit more proof that you can astound me with your moves.
"We switching positions, you feel surrounded" - Switching positions already? Is it because the shoulder-holder makes it difficult to get your tiny dick in? And how are you surrounding me? If you wrap your legs and arms around does that mean I'm topping this time?
"Tell me where you want your gift, girl" - I want my gift inside you. 'Bout damn time I got to top, I shouldn't have to wait for my birthday.
"Girl you know I-I-I/Girl you know I-I-II been feenin/Wake up in the late night/Been dreamin' about your loving, girl" - I thought this was your gift to me, on my birthday. So why are you the one getting so excited?
"Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I/Don't need candles and cake/Just need your body to make..." - That's what you think, bub. I want a cake, I want candles, I want a fucking petting zoo and balloon animals! And for my birthday, you need my body? Seriously, I have to help with my own gift? Damn, you a lazy boyfriend.
"Birthday sex... Birthday sex... (It's the best day of the year girl)" - It'd be better with cake, I'm telling you...
"Birthday sex... Birthday sex (G-spot g-spot let me hit that g-spot g-spot girl)" - Now you need permission to hit the G-spot? Do you also need a map and GPS? Rhetorical question, of course you do. And a native tour guide.
"See you sexy in them jeans got me on 10" - See, you're making my birthday sex all about you again! And by "on 10" I assume you mean inches? Of dildo?
"1-2-3... Think I got you pinned/Don't tap out, fight until the end/Ring that bell, and we gon start over again" - Wow, boxing metaphors. Really? I'm not sure Rihanna or Tina Turner would approve.
"We grindin' with passion, 'cause it's your birthday" - The rest of the year, you just don't even bother, do you?
"Been at it for hours, I know you thirsty" - Since when was ten minutes of begging for oral followed by three minutes of sex and you falling asleep for 45 minutes on my shoulder qualify as "at it for hours?" And yes, I am thirsty. But I really don't want anymore of your nasty ass "mo-eezy."
"You kiss me so sweetly, taste just like Hershey's" - That's why I hate giving rim jobs.
"Just tell me how you want your gift, girl" - I'd like to unwrap it, squeal at the Tiffany blue box, the squeal some more at the size of the diamond, then thank you with a BJ. Is that so much to ask for?
"First, I'm gonna take a dive into the water deep/Until I know I pleased that body (body)" - Seriously? "First"? What the fuck have we been doing the last two verse and a chorus? And if you enjoy water sports, I am fucking out of here. Homie don't play that.
"Or girl without a broom I might just sweep you off yo feet/And make you wanna tell somebody (body) how I do" - So far, you have done nothing that would make wanna tell anyone anything. Quit bragging and get your teeth on my zipper.
"Or maybe we can float on top my water bed (bed)/You close your eyes as I improv between your legs" - Oh, I see. When you completely goofed up and nibbling on my belly button you were just improving? That also explains why you asked the audience for a location.
"We work our way from kitchens, stoves and tables/Girl, you know I'm more than able to please yeah" - You are going to bang me on your stove? Not only would I fear the range would turn on, even cold burners pressed up against my back (or chest, would it be easier doggie style?) would be way too uncomfortable. And kitchen sex is so 9 1/2 Weeks ago.
"You say you wanted flowers on the bed (on the bed)/But you got me in hours on the bed" - Because you couldn't do both? You couldn't stop at the grocery store, buy a couple of rose and sprinkle the petals on the sheets before you dragged me over here? And the sex is supposed to make up for lack of saying it with flowers. You are lucky I'm horny, or you wouldn't be getting any after this lackluster birthday. Next year, just order a Chik-Fil-A party platter and stripper and invite a few friends. I'd be more in the mood after that.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Mariah Does Drag For "Obsessed" Fan
Unless you don't even glance in the direction of entertainment blogs, mags and TV (in which, what the hell are you doing here?) you've probably peeped the still photos of Mariah Carey with a beard and over sized hoodie on the set of her new video. That video just leaked, before it's debut on America's Got Talent tonight.
"Obsessed" is the Eminem diss track that provides the first taste of Mariah's new disc Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. I didn't give it the best review on the first listen, but it's growing on me. The video is weird as hell, but seeing Mariah being stalked by Mariah in a beard is the kind of mind fucking I enjoy. Less enjoyable was the photoshoot sequence, since no one uses hairdryers to create wind in a photo. But I must say, perfectly ridiculous ending, I did not expect that at all. Plus, they clearly filmed the stalker's bedroom scenes in my bedroom/Mariah shrine. It's not as crazy-hot as "Touch My Body" but I ain't mad. Watch:
"Obsessed" is the Eminem diss track that provides the first taste of Mariah's new disc Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. I didn't give it the best review on the first listen, but it's growing on me. The video is weird as hell, but seeing Mariah being stalked by Mariah in a beard is the kind of mind fucking I enjoy. Less enjoyable was the photoshoot sequence, since no one uses hairdryers to create wind in a photo. But I must say, perfectly ridiculous ending, I did not expect that at all. Plus, they clearly filmed the stalker's bedroom scenes in my bedroom/Mariah shrine. It's not as crazy-hot as "Touch My Body" but I ain't mad. Watch:
Harry Potter And The Crazy Muggles In Costumes At The Midnight Premiere (Plus "Half-Blood Prince" Mini-Reveiw)
I didn't tell my blog readers this, but I have been geeking out over the new Harry Potter movie for a bit now. My new friend/co-worker Brittney invited me to join her crew at the midnight premiere of Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince, and of course I was stoked. The last midnight premiere I went to was for the kinda lame Pirates Of The Caribbean sequel. I was trying to be all cool about it since these are all recent high school grads (I feel old) so was about to tell Brittney that I wouldn't embarrass them by showing up in costume or anything when she said to me "We should totally dress up for it." I have found my kind of people...
Anyway, after discussing Snape, Longbottom and even Ginny (if I could have found a red wig, it would have happened) we decided on Ron Weasley for me. Which was a perfect excuse for me to dye my hair red again! Win-win! Brittney was going as Hermoine, and her crew included a Harry, Cho, Luna Lovegood, Prof. McGonnagall, Hagrid and Dean (plus a random Ravenclaw student.)
I painted a tie in the colors of Gryffindor, threw on black pants and a cardigan and dyed my hair red. Bam, instant Ron. Plus, I broke my wand and taped it together, like in the second book. Brittney provided a Quidditch broom and we were off.
The whole gang met at her friend Claire's house for pictures, and we looked friggin' epic. After that, we headed to the theatre. A few other costumed people were there, although our costumes were the best looking. That is not me being egotistical. I did see a guy in Ginny drag, which made me sad for not going through with it. Also, a really awesome Mad-Eye Moody. We also appeared to be the biggest group that went in costume. Seriously, people were talking about us. Luna looked fab, Harry was convincing and Hagrid was bloody brill.
The whole point, of course, was to see the movie. Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince is quite possibly the best of the films so far. It was elegantly shot, the camera glides through scenes and the special effects are more breathtaking and intricate than ever before. While the long and densely plotted sixth book in the series by J.K. Rowling had to be trimmed, the plot remained cohesive for the most part. The battle sequence from the end of the novel was dropped, which was the only real disappointment I felt. Attending with teenaged avid readers of the series, I was reminded of a lot of missing scenes, but that was only one I missed.
The best part is, of course, Harry and his friends. The character interaction was well written, youthful romances blossom and perish and it's all very realistic and lovely. The film also has some funny bits. Love potions and liquid luck have some goofy side effects. Rupert Grint was outstanding in Ron's comical scenes.
If you've enjoyed the Harry Potter films, you probably already plan to see this one. If you're on the fence, go! It's hot.
Not as hot as our costumes, though...
Anyway, after discussing Snape, Longbottom and even Ginny (if I could have found a red wig, it would have happened) we decided on Ron Weasley for me. Which was a perfect excuse for me to dye my hair red again! Win-win! Brittney was going as Hermoine, and her crew included a Harry, Cho, Luna Lovegood, Prof. McGonnagall, Hagrid and Dean (plus a random Ravenclaw student.)
I painted a tie in the colors of Gryffindor, threw on black pants and a cardigan and dyed my hair red. Bam, instant Ron. Plus, I broke my wand and taped it together, like in the second book. Brittney provided a Quidditch broom and we were off.
The whole gang met at her friend Claire's house for pictures, and we looked friggin' epic. After that, we headed to the theatre. A few other costumed people were there, although our costumes were the best looking. That is not me being egotistical. I did see a guy in Ginny drag, which made me sad for not going through with it. Also, a really awesome Mad-Eye Moody. We also appeared to be the biggest group that went in costume. Seriously, people were talking about us. Luna looked fab, Harry was convincing and Hagrid was bloody brill.
The whole point, of course, was to see the movie. Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince is quite possibly the best of the films so far. It was elegantly shot, the camera glides through scenes and the special effects are more breathtaking and intricate than ever before. While the long and densely plotted sixth book in the series by J.K. Rowling had to be trimmed, the plot remained cohesive for the most part. The battle sequence from the end of the novel was dropped, which was the only real disappointment I felt. Attending with teenaged avid readers of the series, I was reminded of a lot of missing scenes, but that was only one I missed.
The best part is, of course, Harry and his friends. The character interaction was well written, youthful romances blossom and perish and it's all very realistic and lovely. The film also has some funny bits. Love potions and liquid luck have some goofy side effects. Rupert Grint was outstanding in Ron's comical scenes.
If you've enjoyed the Harry Potter films, you probably already plan to see this one. If you're on the fence, go! It's hot.
Not as hot as our costumes, though...
Monday, July 13, 2009
Lily Allen Has Does Her Make Up In The Loo (Oh, And Releases Video For "22")
My girl Lils has released the fourth video from her fantastic It's Not Me, It's You. "22" is one of the best tracks from that release, at once a cautionary tale about the dangers of whiling away your 20s and a slam at society's dislike of the "over-30 woman." Plus, it has a kicky chorus.
The video definitely sticks closer to the cautionary portion of the song. Lily walks into the ladies room to fix her lipstick, looking a little worse for the wear. In the mirror she still looks chic and dapper, but her hair is mussed and she's wearing a bit thicker makeup in real life. Later, the reverse is true. The video is glossy but lacks any real punch. I'm glad she's releasing a song with some hope of US radio airplay after the silly down-home sound of "Not Fair" and the uncensorable "Fuck You." Doesn't mean radio will play it, but a boy can dream. Watch:
The video definitely sticks closer to the cautionary portion of the song. Lily walks into the ladies room to fix her lipstick, looking a little worse for the wear. In the mirror she still looks chic and dapper, but her hair is mussed and she's wearing a bit thicker makeup in real life. Later, the reverse is true. The video is glossy but lacks any real punch. I'm glad she's releasing a song with some hope of US radio airplay after the silly down-home sound of "Not Fair" and the uncensorable "Fuck You." Doesn't mean radio will play it, but a boy can dream. Watch:
Friday, July 10, 2009
Jordin Sparks' New Song Is Gayer Than Elton John. I Loves It, Natch.
Seriously, Jordin Sparks just released pretty much the gayest song of her career. As if swiping a title used by Rihanna, The Jonas Brothers and ABBA wasn't queer friendly enough, she samples the Shannon classic "Let The Music Play" and creates the kind of club single girlfriend needs to get the gay boys behind her. Because being a full figured American Idol winner with pipes for days wasn't enough? I mean seriously, she's one rehab stint away from Gay Icon status as is. She just needed to release "SOS" earlier in Pride season and she'd be the new Diva du Jour.
"SOS" is fire-hot and hopefully will become the hit that "Battlefield" never became. She doesn't get to use her vocal prowess as much, but it's such a fabulous dance song I don't really care. I can't stop playing to it! Listen:
"SOS" is fire-hot and hopefully will become the hit that "Battlefield" never became. She doesn't get to use her vocal prowess as much, but it's such a fabulous dance song I don't really care. I can't stop playing to it! Listen:
Second Look: Regina Spektor's "Genius Next Door" - Best Track From Far?
I know I just posted a review of Regina Spektor's lovely new disc Far just last week. The more I listen to the disc, which has been in heavy (almost non-stop) rotation since I purchased it, the more I fall in love with a few tracks. None more than "Genius Next Door" - the kind of song that reminds me why I love Regina so damn much.
I purchased 2006's Begin To Hope several months after hearing "Fidelity" on the VH1. With it's beautiful pop-art video, I knew this crazy Russian lady was my kinda female singer-songwriter. If it had been a cassette, I would have worn that shit out. From the crazy piano beat on "Edit" to the haunting Billie Holiday tribute "Lady Sings The Blues" to the crazy French verse of "Apres Moi" I loved every song (except for "Field Below", I just could not get into that song) but "Samson" was my song. Regina's delicate voice opens the song with a line that does not stop hurting - "You are my sweetest downfall, I loved you first." The scherenschnitte-inspired video is pure magic, the song is heartbreaking beautiful. It owes a debt to Cohen's "Hallelujah", the placing of oneself in a biblical narrative is markedly similar. But I could not stop playing the song, over and over.
After that, I picked up Spektor's major label debut. Soviet Kitsch was not as polished, and lyrically, the single "Us" seemed like a sadly lacking prototype for "Samson". But songs like the punk goof "Your Honor" and a weird little song "Poor Little Rich Boy" featuring a percussion section made up of Regina banging a drumstick against a piano bench while she played were a great introduction to the more experimental side we'd see honed to pop perfection on Far. There was one song that grabbed me in the same way "Samson" had. "Chemo Limo" is a dream narrative, the classical-style piano underscoring a haunting lyric about a mother who can "afford chemo like I can afford a limo, and on any given day I'd rather ride a limousine." So she dreams about a final ride with her four children in a limo, and while this sounds like pure silliness, it's at once an eloquent indictment of the lack of universal health care and heartrending tale of a mother about to orphan her children.
I was a little disappointed that Far didn't seem to feature a song with such stunning grasp of narrative and emotion as "Samson" or "Chemo Limo." But the more I listened, I realized "Genius Next Door" is that song. The storyline is hard to follow, overnight a lake becomes as "thick as butter" and the kids keep swimming in it. Including the title character, who is busing tables when we meet him. He has a secret, and he likes swimming in his skivvies after stripping by the dumpster. One morning, the news crews show up and the genius dreams that the "antidote is orgasm." On the surface, I couldn't tell you what any of that means. But the way the story unfolds, the level of detail and the bright passion in Regina's vocals and piano playing provides a strange gravitas to the proceedings. And the chorus "If you just hold in your breath, 'til you come back up in full/hold your breath 'til you thought it through, you fool" seems to be a metaphor, perhaps the genius next door is college drop-out who is waisting his life as a bus boy in a lakeside resort town? Or maybe I'm just coloring the lyrics with own backstory.
That is what makes "Genius Next Door" so brilliant. Despite the care in crafting this storyline, Regina allows us to read our own experiences into her song. It's a beautiful thing.
I purchased 2006's Begin To Hope several months after hearing "Fidelity" on the VH1. With it's beautiful pop-art video, I knew this crazy Russian lady was my kinda female singer-songwriter. If it had been a cassette, I would have worn that shit out. From the crazy piano beat on "Edit" to the haunting Billie Holiday tribute "Lady Sings The Blues" to the crazy French verse of "Apres Moi" I loved every song (except for "Field Below", I just could not get into that song) but "Samson" was my song. Regina's delicate voice opens the song with a line that does not stop hurting - "You are my sweetest downfall, I loved you first." The scherenschnitte-inspired video is pure magic, the song is heartbreaking beautiful. It owes a debt to Cohen's "Hallelujah", the placing of oneself in a biblical narrative is markedly similar. But I could not stop playing the song, over and over.
After that, I picked up Spektor's major label debut. Soviet Kitsch was not as polished, and lyrically, the single "Us" seemed like a sadly lacking prototype for "Samson". But songs like the punk goof "Your Honor" and a weird little song "Poor Little Rich Boy" featuring a percussion section made up of Regina banging a drumstick against a piano bench while she played were a great introduction to the more experimental side we'd see honed to pop perfection on Far. There was one song that grabbed me in the same way "Samson" had. "Chemo Limo" is a dream narrative, the classical-style piano underscoring a haunting lyric about a mother who can "afford chemo like I can afford a limo, and on any given day I'd rather ride a limousine." So she dreams about a final ride with her four children in a limo, and while this sounds like pure silliness, it's at once an eloquent indictment of the lack of universal health care and heartrending tale of a mother about to orphan her children.
I was a little disappointed that Far didn't seem to feature a song with such stunning grasp of narrative and emotion as "Samson" or "Chemo Limo." But the more I listened, I realized "Genius Next Door" is that song. The storyline is hard to follow, overnight a lake becomes as "thick as butter" and the kids keep swimming in it. Including the title character, who is busing tables when we meet him. He has a secret, and he likes swimming in his skivvies after stripping by the dumpster. One morning, the news crews show up and the genius dreams that the "antidote is orgasm." On the surface, I couldn't tell you what any of that means. But the way the story unfolds, the level of detail and the bright passion in Regina's vocals and piano playing provides a strange gravitas to the proceedings. And the chorus "If you just hold in your breath, 'til you come back up in full/hold your breath 'til you thought it through, you fool" seems to be a metaphor, perhaps the genius next door is college drop-out who is waisting his life as a bus boy in a lakeside resort town? Or maybe I'm just coloring the lyrics with own backstory.
That is what makes "Genius Next Door" so brilliant. Despite the care in crafting this storyline, Regina allows us to read our own experiences into her song. It's a beautiful thing.
Libraries: The Medicine Chest of the Soul
The title of this post comes from an inscription from the ancient library at Thebes. Yes, I just got high-brow on your asses. It literally just happened. I also named dropped Marie de France during my sermon on Sunday. You would be forgiven for thinking I went to college, I can sound really learned sometimes...
I love libraries. Perhaps this comes as news to you, someone who posts Britney Spears videos doesn't seem like the type to get all Marion The Librarian on y'all. I'm a multi-faceted motherfucker. When I was 14 I walked two miles each way to go to the library a couple of times.
There is something magical about an entire room full of books on just about any subject you can think of, all for your enjoyment. The library I grew up with in Blain, PA was tiny, it was contained in an old house and the books fit in the dining and living rooms, with the checkout area, card catalog (remember those?) and magazine rack in the kitchen. With working water and everything!
I devoured Nancy Drew mysteries as youngster, then moved on to Agatha Christie novels and celebrity biographies as a teen. I read a Barbra Striesand bio when I was 13 or 14 and fell in love with fabulousness right then. Dolly Parton, Barbara Mandrell and Reba followed right after, I didn't have a chance in hell of being straight. I listened to Pride & Prejudice on audio book a million times while mowing grass, I heard the brilliant words of Jane Austen before I even read them.
I was 16 when we moved to Potter County. Even more isolated from big city influences, the mysteries of Elizabeth Peters and Lillian Jackson Braun were the link between the world I left behind and the one I had entered. A lot changed in a few months - new house, new neighbors, new family circle and no father. I read a lot, devouring whole books in a day or two. But the library in Coudersport was bigger, it had tons of audiobooks, movies and CDs besides my paper and hardback friends. There were mainstream artists like Madonna and Britney Spears as well as a Gershwin collection that I borrowed repeatedly, and my sisters loved the audiobooks. They even had favorite narrators, and they would try titles they never would have based on the reader.
I also developed an interest in young adult fantasy novels, trying out Artimis Fowl and Harry Potter as well as more adult series like the Acorna and Xanth novels. And the library also had a slew of Star Wars and Star Trek novels and I ran right through the entire collection.
I've been back in Harrisburg for over five years, and my library usage is more sporadic. For one thing, my reading time is more limited. I usually only read on my lunch break at work and maybe a couple of minutes before bed. While my trips to the library as a child and into my teens involved canvas bags full of reading material, enough to keep me occupied for two weeks, now I'm lucky to finish a book in two weeks. Unless it's really good, or really short.
But I get into a groove every now and again, going every two weeks for months on end. I read a lot more non-fiction. A history of Nancy Drew here, a C.S. Lewis religious volume there, Billie Holiday's autobiography, a little of this and a little of that. I also love looking through the audio CDs, they often have boxed sets I could never afford as well as a collection of the 33 1/3 series books packed with the CD. I often find newer indie albums, as well as regular pop and rock CDs, so I can try before I purchase. I'm sampling recent efforts by Morrissey and Sara Watkins right now.
The East Shore Area Library also has a fantastic graphic novel section. I'm not a huge fan of graphic novels and comics, but I've found some really interesting titles that appeal to those outside the traditional comic fan base. I reviewed Skim on the blog a while back, that came from the library. I also read a graphic novel based on The Merchant Of Venice.
I stopped into the library on Monday in search of two books. The first, I read about in an ad the library had placed in The Central Voice. They had a display of LGBT books in honor of Harrisburg's Pride Fest later this month, and one in particular stood out. My Diva: 65 Gay Men On The Women Who Inspire Them looks like my kind of fabulous. I picked it up, and started reading it on Tuesday at work. It's a quick read, each Diva story is only a few pages. I will be sure to post a full review when I finish.
The other book I stopped in for wasn't available. I wanted to read fellow Junior-phile Sam's short story in Best Gay Love Stories 2010, but there wasn't one in the system. So I stopped at Borders and pick it up there. (Should've ordered on Amazon and saved five bucks!) When I finish My Diva, I can keep the gay train rolling! As if I could ever stop it...
I guess the moral to this story is that you should check out your library. Or do you already? If so, tell me what you've read/heard/seen lately that's good. I always want to add to my reading list...
I love libraries. Perhaps this comes as news to you, someone who posts Britney Spears videos doesn't seem like the type to get all Marion The Librarian on y'all. I'm a multi-faceted motherfucker. When I was 14 I walked two miles each way to go to the library a couple of times.
There is something magical about an entire room full of books on just about any subject you can think of, all for your enjoyment. The library I grew up with in Blain, PA was tiny, it was contained in an old house and the books fit in the dining and living rooms, with the checkout area, card catalog (remember those?) and magazine rack in the kitchen. With working water and everything!
I devoured Nancy Drew mysteries as youngster, then moved on to Agatha Christie novels and celebrity biographies as a teen. I read a Barbra Striesand bio when I was 13 or 14 and fell in love with fabulousness right then. Dolly Parton, Barbara Mandrell and Reba followed right after, I didn't have a chance in hell of being straight. I listened to Pride & Prejudice on audio book a million times while mowing grass, I heard the brilliant words of Jane Austen before I even read them.
I was 16 when we moved to Potter County. Even more isolated from big city influences, the mysteries of Elizabeth Peters and Lillian Jackson Braun were the link between the world I left behind and the one I had entered. A lot changed in a few months - new house, new neighbors, new family circle and no father. I read a lot, devouring whole books in a day or two. But the library in Coudersport was bigger, it had tons of audiobooks, movies and CDs besides my paper and hardback friends. There were mainstream artists like Madonna and Britney Spears as well as a Gershwin collection that I borrowed repeatedly, and my sisters loved the audiobooks. They even had favorite narrators, and they would try titles they never would have based on the reader.
I also developed an interest in young adult fantasy novels, trying out Artimis Fowl and Harry Potter as well as more adult series like the Acorna and Xanth novels. And the library also had a slew of Star Wars and Star Trek novels and I ran right through the entire collection.
I've been back in Harrisburg for over five years, and my library usage is more sporadic. For one thing, my reading time is more limited. I usually only read on my lunch break at work and maybe a couple of minutes before bed. While my trips to the library as a child and into my teens involved canvas bags full of reading material, enough to keep me occupied for two weeks, now I'm lucky to finish a book in two weeks. Unless it's really good, or really short.
But I get into a groove every now and again, going every two weeks for months on end. I read a lot more non-fiction. A history of Nancy Drew here, a C.S. Lewis religious volume there, Billie Holiday's autobiography, a little of this and a little of that. I also love looking through the audio CDs, they often have boxed sets I could never afford as well as a collection of the 33 1/3 series books packed with the CD. I often find newer indie albums, as well as regular pop and rock CDs, so I can try before I purchase. I'm sampling recent efforts by Morrissey and Sara Watkins right now.
The East Shore Area Library also has a fantastic graphic novel section. I'm not a huge fan of graphic novels and comics, but I've found some really interesting titles that appeal to those outside the traditional comic fan base. I reviewed Skim on the blog a while back, that came from the library. I also read a graphic novel based on The Merchant Of Venice.
I stopped into the library on Monday in search of two books. The first, I read about in an ad the library had placed in The Central Voice. They had a display of LGBT books in honor of Harrisburg's Pride Fest later this month, and one in particular stood out. My Diva: 65 Gay Men On The Women Who Inspire Them looks like my kind of fabulous. I picked it up, and started reading it on Tuesday at work. It's a quick read, each Diva story is only a few pages. I will be sure to post a full review when I finish.
The other book I stopped in for wasn't available. I wanted to read fellow Junior-phile Sam's short story in Best Gay Love Stories 2010, but there wasn't one in the system. So I stopped at Borders and pick it up there. (Should've ordered on Amazon and saved five bucks!) When I finish My Diva, I can keep the gay train rolling! As if I could ever stop it...
I guess the moral to this story is that you should check out your library. Or do you already? If so, tell me what you've read/heard/seen lately that's good. I always want to add to my reading list...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Spin Douses Teh Internets With "Purplish Rain"
My sister got a subscription to Spin for Christmas a few years ago. After she moved out a few months ago, she never got the address changed and she never picks up the issues when she stops by. Which is great for me, because Blender closed it's physical publishing doors about the same time and they didn't send me a replacement magazine to fill in the remainder of my subscription.
This month's issue features a cover story on the 25th anniversary of Prince's seminal 1980s soundtrack album, Purple Rain. We didn't listen to pop music like Prince when I was a child, so my familiarity with the soundtrack is limited to the hits, "When Doves Cry", "I Would Die 4 U", "Let's Go Crazy" and the title song. In addition to the article, Spin's website features a download of an all new covers collection of all the songs on the album entitled Purplish Rain.
You have to have an email address and a copy of the magazine to download the collection, but if you just wikipedia a certain member of The Time you'll be able to answer the question and get the zip file. Just a tip, from me to you...
Anyway, a few of these songs are unfamiliar to me so I can't really say how they stack up in comparison to Prince's originals. But T
he Twilight Singers' version of "When Doves Cry" is actually quite magical, the arrangement creates a moody and tense slow-building reading that I think Prince would approve of. Of course, Apollonia provides guest vocals so Prince would have to approve! Riverboat Gamblers' "Let's Go Crazy" is useless, the genre switch does nothing to improve the song and they don't try anything new with the melody. But Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings tackle "Take Me With U" and really work the song into their retro-pop sound. I don't want a purple boot smashed into my face, but they may have improve the song. Of Montreal provide an instrumental take on "Computer Blue" and it's a valiant effort. While I don't know that the world needed an Mariachi version of "I Would Die 4 U", Mariachi El Bronx give it all they got and it's a bit of fluffy fun. I would totally play it at a summer picnic, it's bright and summery. Of course, "Purple Rain" is almost untouchable. But Lavender Diamond's Becky Stark just kills the vocals, and the 80s inspired synths are a great touch. A real beautiful tribute to the source material.
Basically, if it wasn't free I'd only purchase Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings and The Twilight Singers variations on a purple theme. But since it is free, give it a spin. Download here.
This month's issue features a cover story on the 25th anniversary of Prince's seminal 1980s soundtrack album, Purple Rain. We didn't listen to pop music like Prince when I was a child, so my familiarity with the soundtrack is limited to the hits, "When Doves Cry", "I Would Die 4 U", "Let's Go Crazy" and the title song. In addition to the article, Spin's website features a download of an all new covers collection of all the songs on the album entitled Purplish Rain.
You have to have an email address and a copy of the magazine to download the collection, but if you just wikipedia a certain member of The Time you'll be able to answer the question and get the zip file. Just a tip, from me to you...
Anyway, a few of these songs are unfamiliar to me so I can't really say how they stack up in comparison to Prince's originals. But T
he Twilight Singers' version of "When Doves Cry" is actually quite magical, the arrangement creates a moody and tense slow-building reading that I think Prince would approve of. Of course, Apollonia provides guest vocals so Prince would have to approve! Riverboat Gamblers' "Let's Go Crazy" is useless, the genre switch does nothing to improve the song and they don't try anything new with the melody. But Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings tackle "Take Me With U" and really work the song into their retro-pop sound. I don't want a purple boot smashed into my face, but they may have improve the song. Of Montreal provide an instrumental take on "Computer Blue" and it's a valiant effort. While I don't know that the world needed an Mariachi version of "I Would Die 4 U", Mariachi El Bronx give it all they got and it's a bit of fluffy fun. I would totally play it at a summer picnic, it's bright and summery. Of course, "Purple Rain" is almost untouchable. But Lavender Diamond's Becky Stark just kills the vocals, and the 80s inspired synths are a great touch. A real beautiful tribute to the source material.Basically, if it wasn't free I'd only purchase Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings and The Twilight Singers variations on a purple theme. But since it is free, give it a spin. Download here.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Michael Jackson's Heritage: Rihanna, Ne-Yo and The Other Children Of MJ
I've wanted to talk about Michael Jackson's passing for some time now, but I don't really have the words. I came of age after the big hits, Thriller was released the year before I was born and the first Jackson song I'd heard was "Will You Be There" from Free Willy. As an adult I certainly understand the importance and genius of his work. He was a true artist, writing and producing not only his own hits, but also hits for Diana Ross and the charity single "We Are The World." His legacy extends beyond his own work, though.
Michael was a trailblazer, a pioneer in videos as well as music. Beyond the brilliant sound of "Billie Jean" the video was completely unique and groundbreaking. And then came "Thriller" - a music video in name only. It was an epic short film, financed by the king of pop himself.
I've often talked about the "Children Of ABBA" - my own personal theory on modern pop music. I feel that certain artists (from Taylor Dane to Britney Spears) are descended from the pop geniuses of ABBA, some via Madonna but even the Queen of Pop owes a debt to the Swedish quartet. Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the fact that there is another group of artists who descend from another musical genius, Michael Jackson.
It's not a black vs white issue. There is a different pop sound that Michael brought, a more organic approach to pop that the ABBA template doesn't have. While the children of ABBA create sleek pop masterpieces, reveling in the sanded down corners and smoothed down perfectness, the children of MJ rely on throbbing, jagged roughness. The stabbing bass line of "Billie Jean" would never work on an ABBA track, the layered harmonies of "Dancing Queen" would have seemed disingenuous on a Michael production. Neither is better than the other, both artists created pop masterpieces that influenced a million artists, both big and small.
Without Michael breaking down the color barrier at MTV, the idea of a black pop star (as opposed to "merely" disco star or R&B star) would have been impossible. Rihanna is one of the Children of MJ that springs to mind first. While the Barbados-born pop star doesn't write or produce her own music, that's not what makes a pop star a child of MJ. If you place her "Disturbia" next to "Thriller" you see the direct line from one pop star to another. "Umbrella" might not have the same sound as "Human Nature" but the similarity lies in the way both songs toy with melody and structure.
Another child of MJ is Ne-Yo, not just because "Because Of You" sounds like "Rock With You" but also in the way he inherits Michael's mantle as songwriter. He's written hits for Rihanna ("Unfaithful"), Beyonce ("Irreplaceable") and Lindsay Lohan ("Bossy") as well as his own. And the two world would have collided had Michael's passing not prevented Ne-Yo from cowriting for the King Of Pop's next record.
Michael's many children include dancing singers like Justin Timberlake and Chris Brown, although sometimes it seems those kids are stealing moves more than inheriting the spirit of Micheal's dancing. Ciara, however, exhibits that blend of homage and inspiration best when she dances, her moves come from that same place of joyous belief in the power of entertainment that MJ always seemed to possess.
Sonically, it's harder to point to an artist as a child of MJ, his voice should never be imitated. But his innovative contributions to pop music can be seen everywhere. I saw Keri Hilson as a child of MJ, but I was disappointed at the lack of her own songwriting on her debut album. Santigold is more of a MJ-style innovator, but her experimentation can sometimes go to far. Natasha Bedingfield is one of those pop stars that fluctuates between a child of ABBA and a child of MJ, songs like "These Words" and "Love Like This" have that free-flowing Michael sound while "Pocketful of Sunshine" falls on the ABBA side of the pop spectrum.
Really, I see Michael's influence most these days in the punk-pop/emo scene. Not just because Fall Out Boy covered "Beat It" but also because of the level of involvement a lot of these artists have behind the scenes. From writing their own songs, to picking producers and protegees with an eye towards creating a real pop sound to the energy they bring to the stage, artists like Paramore and Fall Out Boy may be the next logical step in music evolution.
If "Thriller"-era Michael took a look at the pop scene today, he'd probably be disappointed in the production he'd find. Look at the Billboard charts, from the lazy songwriting on "Birthday Sex" to the sonic blandness of "The Climb" to the all-around uselessness of "Don't Trust Me" we need more Children Of MJ.
Michael was a trailblazer, a pioneer in videos as well as music. Beyond the brilliant sound of "Billie Jean" the video was completely unique and groundbreaking. And then came "Thriller" - a music video in name only. It was an epic short film, financed by the king of pop himself.
I've often talked about the "Children Of ABBA" - my own personal theory on modern pop music. I feel that certain artists (from Taylor Dane to Britney Spears) are descended from the pop geniuses of ABBA, some via Madonna but even the Queen of Pop owes a debt to the Swedish quartet. Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the fact that there is another group of artists who descend from another musical genius, Michael Jackson.
It's not a black vs white issue. There is a different pop sound that Michael brought, a more organic approach to pop that the ABBA template doesn't have. While the children of ABBA create sleek pop masterpieces, reveling in the sanded down corners and smoothed down perfectness, the children of MJ rely on throbbing, jagged roughness. The stabbing bass line of "Billie Jean" would never work on an ABBA track, the layered harmonies of "Dancing Queen" would have seemed disingenuous on a Michael production. Neither is better than the other, both artists created pop masterpieces that influenced a million artists, both big and small.
Without Michael breaking down the color barrier at MTV, the idea of a black pop star (as opposed to "merely" disco star or R&B star) would have been impossible. Rihanna is one of the Children of MJ that springs to mind first. While the Barbados-born pop star doesn't write or produce her own music, that's not what makes a pop star a child of MJ. If you place her "Disturbia" next to "Thriller" you see the direct line from one pop star to another. "Umbrella" might not have the same sound as "Human Nature" but the similarity lies in the way both songs toy with melody and structure.
Another child of MJ is Ne-Yo, not just because "Because Of You" sounds like "Rock With You" but also in the way he inherits Michael's mantle as songwriter. He's written hits for Rihanna ("Unfaithful"), Beyonce ("Irreplaceable") and Lindsay Lohan ("Bossy") as well as his own. And the two world would have collided had Michael's passing not prevented Ne-Yo from cowriting for the King Of Pop's next record.
Michael's many children include dancing singers like Justin Timberlake and Chris Brown, although sometimes it seems those kids are stealing moves more than inheriting the spirit of Micheal's dancing. Ciara, however, exhibits that blend of homage and inspiration best when she dances, her moves come from that same place of joyous belief in the power of entertainment that MJ always seemed to possess.
Sonically, it's harder to point to an artist as a child of MJ, his voice should never be imitated. But his innovative contributions to pop music can be seen everywhere. I saw Keri Hilson as a child of MJ, but I was disappointed at the lack of her own songwriting on her debut album. Santigold is more of a MJ-style innovator, but her experimentation can sometimes go to far. Natasha Bedingfield is one of those pop stars that fluctuates between a child of ABBA and a child of MJ, songs like "These Words" and "Love Like This" have that free-flowing Michael sound while "Pocketful of Sunshine" falls on the ABBA side of the pop spectrum.
Really, I see Michael's influence most these days in the punk-pop/emo scene. Not just because Fall Out Boy covered "Beat It" but also because of the level of involvement a lot of these artists have behind the scenes. From writing their own songs, to picking producers and protegees with an eye towards creating a real pop sound to the energy they bring to the stage, artists like Paramore and Fall Out Boy may be the next logical step in music evolution.
If "Thriller"-era Michael took a look at the pop scene today, he'd probably be disappointed in the production he'd find. Look at the Billboard charts, from the lazy songwriting on "Birthday Sex" to the sonic blandness of "The Climb" to the all-around uselessness of "Don't Trust Me" we need more Children Of MJ.
Shakira Is A She-Wolf, It's About Time We Lost The "Cougar" Label
Shakira, Shakira! It's been a long while since "Hips Don't Lie" and "Beautiful Liar" were filling the airwaves, so I was very excited to hear a new Shaki single was in the works. "She Wolf" is the lead single from her still untitled English language disc, and it releases digitally and on CD next week. I know, who makes CD singles anymore? Well, I haven't heard the English version yet, but I've heard the Spanish one, and it's hot as balls. The strongly disco-influenced strings and beat are gonna have dancefloors filling this summer, and I really like the title. "She Wolf" sounds like sex, I can't wait to hear the English lyrics. Plus, look at the single cover! Can we say Bridgette Bardot?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The New Whitney Single Bores Me. Wait, Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
I was really excited when I heard Whitney Houston was finally releasing new material this fall, it's been a long while since we'd heard anything musical from the diva. I got even more excited when I heard David Foster, Diane Warren, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats were to be involved (apparently the Ne-Yo collabo fell through.)
The first single just leaked, and it's the one Diane Warren wrote and David Foster produced. This conjures up the sleek midtempo love ballads of the mid-1990s, which could be amazing or really awful. I was hoping for a more "It's Not Right, But It's OK" kinda feel, but a "Greatest Love Of All" look wouldn't be awful. Y'know, unless it was...
"I Didn't Know My Own Strength" features very little of the vocal power of early Whitney and none of the attitude and sass of latter day Whitney. I was hoping for so much more, but it may grow on me a little. Worst of all, there is no way pop radio is playing something this boring. C'mon, Whit! Give us a comeback! Listen:
The first single just leaked, and it's the one Diane Warren wrote and David Foster produced. This conjures up the sleek midtempo love ballads of the mid-1990s, which could be amazing or really awful. I was hoping for a more "It's Not Right, But It's OK" kinda feel, but a "Greatest Love Of All" look wouldn't be awful. Y'know, unless it was...
"I Didn't Know My Own Strength" features very little of the vocal power of early Whitney and none of the attitude and sass of latter day Whitney. I was hoping for so much more, but it may grow on me a little. Worst of all, there is no way pop radio is playing something this boring. C'mon, Whit! Give us a comeback! Listen:
Britney Has Horses and Eurotrash On Her "Radar"
Little Miss Workhorse Brit-Brit is releasing a fourth single from Circus, this time a reheated Blackout track called "Radar." I was not a fan the first time around, but since it's Britney, bitch, I figured I give the video a try. It's a weirdly slow paced horse-racing themed video, with slow pans over horses being sprayed down and jockeys braiding horse tails. In fact, the whole video reminds me of the music videos they play at gay bars of random euro-pop singles, like it was directed by a Italian former Eurovison contestant or something. (Actually it's frequent Britney director Dave Meyers.) The song is also oddly paced, I would have prefered "Unusual You" as the next single. But what can you do, but watch:
Monday, July 6, 2009
Rye Rye's M.I.A.-Directed New Video Will Cause Seizures
M.I.A. discovered Baltimore teen Rye Rye and gave her a spot on her tours as well as a verse on a "Paper Planes" remix. Now, she's directed Rye Rye's new video for the single "Bang" as well as adding part of the hook. The beat is hyperkinetic, the lyrics almost unintelligible and the video almost seizure inducing. Obviously we know what M.I.A. sees in this girl. Watch:
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Daughtry Shows Us His P-p-p-p-poker Face
While promoting his band's new album Leave This Town on German radio, Idol hottie Chris Daughtry did a cover of one of the hottest singles in recent months. In his hands, Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" becomes an earnest confessional. But when he says the line "I'll get her hot, show what I got" it sounds infinitely more dirty than Gaga's original. Not that I'm complaining, it's about time Chris rode the dirty train... Watch:
Friday, July 3, 2009
Can Red One Give Enrique Another Hit?
Y'all know who Red One is right? He's the techno-flavored pop producer and co-writer of Lady Gaga's recent string of hits and recently produced the new Sean Kingston jam "Fire Burning" as well as Heidi Montag's early singles (but we won't got there...) Well, he's hungry for another chart topper, and coincidentally so is Enrique Iglesias.
So the uber-producer and the Latin heartthrob grabbed crunk&b princess Ciara and made a dance-floor-friendly mid-tempo break up track for Inglesias's Greatest Hits comp. The only problem is, the video's been out for four months and I've never heard the song on the radio except the satellite radio at work. Which is a shame, because it's a natural progression from the Gaga stuff Red One is known for, and the track is hot. A lot hotter than the Sean Kingston shit, that's for damn sure. So, people, for the love of shirtless Latin boys call your radio and request "Taking Back My Love" Or just watch the video, which has no shirtless Enrique (sad face) but Ciara is looking hotter than ever and the chemistry at the end is miles sexier than she had with her "Love, Sex, Magic" co-star, Justin Timberlake. I know, I can't believe I said it either. Watch:
So the uber-producer and the Latin heartthrob grabbed crunk&b princess Ciara and made a dance-floor-friendly mid-tempo break up track for Inglesias's Greatest Hits comp. The only problem is, the video's been out for four months and I've never heard the song on the radio except the satellite radio at work. Which is a shame, because it's a natural progression from the Gaga stuff Red One is known for, and the track is hot. A lot hotter than the Sean Kingston shit, that's for damn sure. So, people, for the love of shirtless Latin boys call your radio and request "Taking Back My Love" Or just watch the video, which has no shirtless Enrique (sad face) but Ciara is looking hotter than ever and the chemistry at the end is miles sexier than she had with her "Love, Sex, Magic" co-star, Justin Timberlake. I know, I can't believe I said it either. Watch:
Oh, and since he wouldn't take his shirt off in the video, I have provided a picture for those who are interested... ;) Yeah, "day-um" is the correct word in this situation.
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