The 25 Songs That Almost Made My Year End List!

Because I'm a student of the Katy Perry School of Blue Balls, I am going to tease you a little bit. My year end list of the top 100 songs of 2008 comes out (in installments, for ultimate Tantric pleasure) but there were exactly 25 songs I had nominated that I still felt the need to share. I'm giving like that... This is really just a taste of how god-awful my list will be. There will be a lot of Robyn, a ton of David Cook and more really crappy pop. This is just the bottom of the barrel, it's gets worse from here:

The Jonas Brothers - "Burning Up" (from A Little Bit Longer)
The Jo Bros may just make teeny-bopper music. But "Burning Up" is so ridiculously catchy, I had to love it a little bit. I am weak in the face of a giant hook.


Katy Perry - "Lost" (from One Of The Boys)
As I mentioned in my review of One Of The Boys, this song is seriously overproduced. But if you can strip down the Fall Out Boyness and get to the meat of the lyrical story, it's a brilliant song. Katy should record it with just a guitar and maybe strings, it would be magic.


Vampire Weekend - "Oxford Comma" (from Vampire Weekend)
Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma? I do! Do you have any idea how much I agonize about whether I like Oxford commas. One day, they make so much sense, the next they are so ugly. Vampire Weekend may have been on of the most overhyped bands of 2008, but the did squeeze out one decent song about my punctuation frenemy.


Weezer - "Pork And Beans" (from Weezer "the red album")
Yeah, it's probably one of the funniest videos this year. But the song is no "Perfect Situation" and for that it languished outside of the top 100.


Kylie Minogue - "All I See" (from X)
Jordin Sparks may have jacked the beat for "One Step At A Time" which should have given Kylie the advantage. But allowing MIMS to ruin the radio mix dropped it a couple spots, plus it's missing the foot taps. For that it doesn't get an EPIC FAIL, it's just not getting on the top 100.


Alanis Morissette - "Underneath" (from Flavors Of Entanglement)
The chorus grew on me, and the video is pretty cool. But I just couldn't quite get into the new Alanis. I need angry Alanis. Or "My Humps" era Alanis. I love the album title, though.


Janet Jackson - "Feedback" (from Discipline)
There is exactly one sentence that describes why I love "Feedback" as much I did for the beginning months of 2008: "My swag is serious, I'm heavy like a first day period" Gross or Awesome? I couldn't decide.


Chris Brown feat. T-Pain - "Kiss Kiss" (from Exclusive)
I don't know why I liked this song, I hate T-Pain for the most part. But the chorus is catchy as hell. Besides, I do want some lovey dovey, some kiss kiss. Just not from hot chocolate jailbait, thankyouverymuch.


Sarah McLachlan - "U Want Me 2" (from Closer: The Best Of Sarah McLachlan)
It's slow, and pretty. I'm a sucker for the piano line, too. And the line "What are we saying, our Eden's a failure?" has such poetic quality.


Miley Cyrus - "See You Again" (from Hannah Montana 2/Meet Miley Cyrus)
Oh god, how I despised this song at first. Then it became the song that forced me to create the "Reluctantly Enjoyed" post series. Now, I can love the beat but I cannot approve of songwriting that would include the line "My best friend Leslie said 'Oh, she's just being Miley'" I have standards. Really low ones, but standards nonetheless.


Nickelback - "Gotta Be Somebody" (from Darkhorse)
It's Nickelback. The hook is great, the guitars are set on "rock Mom's socks off" and Chad says "dammit" so we know he's not a wuss. So why do I find it soundtracking my every unanswered text?


The Killers - "Human" (from Day And Age)
When the Vegas boys returned to new wave after a stint in heartland rock, was it enough to turn me back into a Brandon Flowers groupie? Almost, if only "Are we human, or are we dancer" was as good a hook as "Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year"


We The Kings - "Check Yes Juliet" (from We The Kings)
I wanted to love this song. But I kept forgetting it existed. It's still good, I just wish I could remember why.


Paula Abdul & Randy Jackson - "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" (from Randy Jackson's Music Club Volume 1)
I can't help it, this song makes me want to dance. Yes, like there's no tomorrow, smartass.


Duffy - "Warwick Avenue" (from Rockferry)
The plaintive cry of an emotionally wounded girl hurts more when you can see that girl cry. When paired with the video, "Warwick Avenue" is a beautiful song. Alone, it's a little sleepy. And all the Stax horns and all the Dusty In Memphis guitars can't wake it up again.


Idina Menzel - "Hope" (charity single)
Original cast member of "Wicked" and gay fave Idina wrote and recorded this lovely ballad of hope for the "Stand Up To Cancer" initiative. The lyrics are stunning: "Hope is the bravest, most beautiful bird in the world" combined with the spare use of a gospel choir makes a magical charity single. If you like it, download it.


Mariah Carey feat. T-Pain - "Migrate" (from E=MC2)
T-Pain avoids ruining this sweaty club banger off Mimi's latest disc. The beat is hot as fuck, and nobody can explain the migratory patterns of that rarest of birds, the club kid, better than the Diva Don.


Lupe Fiasco feat Matthew Santos - "Superstar" (from Lupe Fiasco's The Cool)
The chorus is awful, Matthew sounds like a bad SNL parody of Chris Martin. But the rhymes are OK. Seriously, I have no defense for liking this song.


Kid Sister feat. Kanye West - "Pro Nails" (from Dream Date)
Part Two of Lil' Mama's "Lipgloss"? Perhaps, but that oddball Atari beat and the sick chorus that gets stuck in your head makes is good, but not a fly as Mama's ode to MAC and L'oreal (yep, cause I'm worth it!)


David Cook - "Billie Jean" (from Billie Jean: American Idol Studio Version)
Don't worry, there is plenty more Cookie in the top 100. But David Cook's version of Chris Cornell's version of Micheal Jackson's pop classic is pretty freakin' sweet. In MJ's original, you get the sense that Micheal's really being played by a conwoman. In David/Chris's moody take, it sounds more like he's trying to convince himself. It's brilliant, even more so because the original is already brilliant.


Gavin DeGraw - "In Love With A Girl" (from Gavin DeGraw)
It's a silly love song. It has awful lyrics, a generic rock sound. And I can't help but think it's charming.


Jason Castro - "Hallelujah" (from Hallelujah: American Idol Performance)
It may not be the best version of Leonard Cohen's modern standard (that would be k.d. lang's) but it got me listening to the song again. "I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord..."


Heidi Montag - "Fashion" (from an album that likely will never come out)
The Hills villianess thinks she's going to be a pop star. And like fellow celebutard Paris Hilton, she may at least squeeze a minor hit out if she works with hot producers like Red One. She just rattles off designer names over a hot beat, you really can't go wrong with that. Plus the song landed on Ugly Betty last week. It can't be all bad...


And these two are repeats from last year's list:

M.I.A. - "Paper Planes" (from Kala)
I couldn't decide if I should leave this off the list or not. It was my number two song of 2007 and from my number one album of 2007, but it gained resurgence over the summer plus had some pretty hot mixes on the Homeland Security Remixes EP. So it got an honorable mention here, the chorus is still sick, the Clash sample still burns and the tale of the American fear of immigrants still powerful.


Robyn - "Handle Me" (from Robyn)
The off kilter beat, the bragging chorus, the first Robyn song I'd heard since "Show Me Love." No wonder it made the top twenty last year, before I even owned the disc - based on YouTube and MySpace plays alone. I still love it, I just needed to leave some room for new tracks on 2008's list. Including many other Robyn favorites, that album is major.


OK kids, I hope that's enough hot beats and sweet ballads to keep you satisfied until next week. The top 100 starts Monday, be there. Or not, it's totes your choice.