This week, it was all about the Swedish bad boy, Stefan. In the opening moments of the episode he's left another gift for Jamie, a little plush toy dressed in pants made from a Calphalon dish rag. She thinks he has a crush on her, which he sort of admits to. He thinks she's sexy, and tries to get her to kiss him later in the episode. Maybe lesbian means something different in Sweden?
In the Quickfire challenge, it's a bracket-style head-to-head. The chefs taste sauces and have to out-guess each other as to the ingredients. After Hosea interviews that his competitor Daniel has more brains than people give him credit for, Daniel proves him a liar by say he thinks he'll win the challenge. Why? Cause he feels like a winner. I feel like a lesbian today, does that mean Jamie will kiss me? Daniel's out in the first round. Good, I don't have to listen to him breathe through his twatwaffle facial hair. Hosea beats out Carla and Stefan to win the quickfire.
After a knife draw creates teams Old, New, Borrowed and Blue, Padma reveals the chefs will be cooking for judge Gail Simmons' wedding shower. Cheap way to throw a shower, Padma. Get your show to foot the bill. Daniel interviews that he thinks Gail will make a hot bride. Eww, he's kinda creeping me out.
Team Old is Jeff, Stefan and Hosea. They decide on an heirloom tomato trio. Jeff is making a tomato sorbet. Hosea is making a chilled tomato soup. Stefan is making a tomato terrine and enemies. Oh, what! He's telling Jeff his sorbet will melt before they can serve it. He's bossing Hosea around, telling him what kinds of tomatoes to use in his soup and calling him a douche boy. Before the plates go out, he says the sorbet isn't sexy. Thing is, his terrine of eggplant wrapped tomato slices looks gray and mushy, the opposite of sexy. He's just being a total twatwaffle. Anyway, upon serving the dish all the dishes get some good reviews from Gail and her 45 female guests, including Food & Wine editor-in-chief Dana Cowin.
Team New is Carla, Eugene and Daniel. Daniel and Eugene collaborate on an OK idea of new-style surf & turf sushi. It's all cooked, but rolled like sushi. They decide to make them awful by deconstructing them so you have to roll your own. Carla is making a microgreen salad in little fried wonton wrapper bowl. They seem OK, a little boring. But then Daniel has to go a ruin them with some mushrooms. AND NOT TELL CARLA ABOUT IT! Rude, and gross. The microgreens are fresh and bright, mushrooms are heavy and earthy. They don't go together at all. And to really make things bad, they don't tell the guest they have to roll the sushi. Really awful, crowded plating, too.
Team Borrowed is Ariane, Rahdika and Jamie. They borrow some Indian flavor from Rahdika's heritage and Jamie's secret ingredient stash. Ariane is cooking the lamb, which Rahdika's making the marinade and yogurt sauce for. Jamie is spicing some carrot puree with her secret Vadouvan spice blend. The judges and guest rave over the dish, and it looks and sounds really tasty. Except the lamb part. I don't like eating baby animals. The chefs freak out about it not getting cooked through in time, but they wait an extra two minutes and it's cooked perfectly.
Team Blue are Melissa, Leah and Fabio. Since there are no blue foods, they opt for deep water fish, like a Chilean Sea Bass and some blue corn flour coating. It's placed on top of a bed of chard and a corn sauce. It looks really boring, and one of Gail's girlfriends says it looks like old people food. Ouch.
Of course, a bridal shower brings up wedding talk. Ariane blathers on about it being a woman's special day, but then cracks me up with her comment "You'd like to think she only gets one." Stefan tells Tom Collichio that he's been married twice, to the same chick. They're divorced again, but he's not trying for a third time. Of course not, he's still holding o
ut for Fabio. Only problem is, Fabio's married. His wedding picture on the show is friggin' hot, I couldn't find that one. But this picture is also really hot. He's a little cocky, but he's hot enough to make up for it.At the judges table, Ariane and Team Borrowed is given high praise, and Jamie really wants to be named the winner. But Ariane is shocked to discover she wins again! Jamie is trying to hold back, but I can tell she was pissed.
Carla also holds back when Team New is told off for their awful dish. She just calmly says she never tasted Daniel's mushrooms. If she wasn't a lady, she probably would have beat the jerk down for ruining her salad with them. OK, I'd probably beat him down. Maybe Carla really is a better person than me. She cooks with love, after all. Daniel gets the boot, and is a total jerk about it. He interviews that if he had thrown people under the bus, maybe he'd still be here. And it's true Eugene deserves some blame for the dish, but Daniel added the mushrooms, the beef and the useless BBQ sauce. Plus, I can't stand the fact he breathes like a fish out of water. I'm glad he's gone.
Next Week: MARTHA!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment