The Gaga has taken over my CD player, I've been spinning her debut disc The Fame nonstop for months. Her "LoveGame" is the third single to make a slow rise to upper parts of the charts, she released the video and single for it months ago and finally "Poker Face" has slowed enough for radio to embrace some new shit.
Meanwhile, our Lady of Gaganess is busy readying another video to replace "LoveGame" when it finally dies down. "Paparazzi" is not my favorite song on the album, after all "Boys Boys Boys" is my summer jam '09! But it's a decent hip-hop flavored track, and it creates the perfect backdrop for the MOST EPIC VIDEO OF 2009, or any of the aughts. Seriously, it's like "Thriller" for the gaysted club set. Set aside about eight minutes before you hit play, it's that epic!
Opening with Lady Gaga and hot dude in '70s noir-meets-couture underthings, making out on a bed. BEFORE HE PUSHES HER OVER A RAILING! Yeah, sounds like Gaga's love life is Denise Richards-level complicated. She isn't killed, but her recovery involves some fierce wheelchair dancing and a series of dead chicks. I didn't quite follow the whole plot, but of course she wears some crazy-ass costumes so I'm all about it. Watch:
Find more videos like this on LOVEBSCOTT.COM
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A Few Thoughts On Prop 8, Opposite Marriage And Kathy Griffin's Mom
It's been a full day since the California Supreme Court uphelp Proposition 8 and I am learning a lot about the legal system. The court decision had more to do with legal processes than it did marriage, and I still think that marriage equality will come in short time to California.BUT, that still doesn't make me any less mystified as to why Prop 8 passed in California to begin with. The proposition made marriage between same sex couples illegal, in case you hadn't heard. It doesn't makes sense to me, but maybe I'm missing something.
Maybe I am oblivious to the gathering storm that Carrie Prejean and her frenemies at NOM have been warning us about. A storm of what exactly? Houses being rented by a committed couple, kids being raised by committed couples, flowers being purchased by one half of a committed couple to give to the other half. I know, it sounds like hell. How dare a man try to woo and marry another man? That's crazy talk!
So, what is the basis for this fear? What kind of horrors will be visited upon your opposite marriage if Justin Timberlake finally gives in to my marriage proposals? I really want to know. My own mother (whom I love and respect, for the record) insists that all marriages should be called civil unions and that would take all the semantics out of the equation. But why all that be changed?
Marriage is already a legal state, one that has been has been constantly evolving as long as humans have been marrying. At one point it was between one man and as many women as he wanted. At other points it was only between a man with money and the daughter of a man who wanted that money. Marriages have been arranged between children for political gain. Marriages have been performed by jumping over brooms. The apostle Paul thought marriage should only be entered into as a last resort, like when you are so horny you can't control yourself. And more recently, marriage has been between a white man and a white woman, or a black man and a black woman.
Why is it such a stretch that an exclusive legal contract between two adults like marriage could be signed by two people regardless of gender? Why should the name suddenly change, without any good reason? A lot of questions, very few good answers. Why can't I visit my husband in the hospital, why can't I inherit his estate, why can't we link our names, our credit history and our hearts before God and these witnesses, just like an opposite married couple can?
What about love? This is the topic we like to dance around. When it comes down to it, when you say that I can't marry my boyfriend you are saying my love is somehow less important, less holy, less committed than the love you have for yours. That you have the right by virtue of your gender to enter a legal contract that I can't. That is what makes it discrimination. That is what makes it wrong.
I don't want this to be a one sided debate, I would love to hear a rational defense for excluding me from the marriage process. And, no, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" does not count!
Regina Spektor Is Laughing With Optical Illusions & Sky-Painted Pianos
Gorgeous Brooklyn babe Regina Spektor's great new single "Laughing With" (the first from the upcoming Far) gets the video treatment. I hunted and hunted for it, because homey don't pay $1.99 to download videos from iTunes.
It was worth the search. Regina finds herself in a world surrounded by pen and ink drawings and optical illusions. She even goes to take off her mask, and instead removes her head. It's reminds me of an antique parlor game, like a music video directed by an Exquisite Corpse. It works with the juxtoposition of the "laughing" lyrics and the somber piano playing off the goofy-yet-lovely surroundings. Anyway, you should totally watch it at Culture Bully, because every time I try to embed it, my sidebar dissapears and the video won't play. Arg!
It was worth the search. Regina finds herself in a world surrounded by pen and ink drawings and optical illusions. She even goes to take off her mask, and instead removes her head. It's reminds me of an antique parlor game, like a music video directed by an Exquisite Corpse. It works with the juxtoposition of the "laughing" lyrics and the somber piano playing off the goofy-yet-lovely surroundings. Anyway, you should totally watch it at Culture Bully, because every time I try to embed it, my sidebar dissapears and the video won't play. Arg!
Ryan Star Makes Sexy Time On The "Last Train Home"
Rock Star: Supernova contestant Ryan Star has more in common with his recent tourmate David Cook than just reality TV roots. His hook-laden rock tracks have the same level of heat and emotion as Cook, and they are both hot as hell.
The latest single to come from his forth-coming album 11:59 is called "Last Train Home" - a real crowd pleaser with a soaring chorus and dramatic vocals. Slow-building rock always thrills me, and this video and song are no exception. The lyrics are romantic and sweeping, little wonder it previously popped up on the romance film PS: I Love You. When the music breaks and he says "We were only kids, we ran like water/I told your dad 'I love your daughter'" I get a little tingle. That's when I know it's good. Watch:
The latest single to come from his forth-coming album 11:59 is called "Last Train Home" - a real crowd pleaser with a soaring chorus and dramatic vocals. Slow-building rock always thrills me, and this video and song are no exception. The lyrics are romantic and sweeping, little wonder it previously popped up on the romance film PS: I Love You. When the music breaks and he says "We were only kids, we ran like water/I told your dad 'I love your daughter'" I get a little tingle. That's when I know it's good. Watch:
11:59 is out on Atlanic on 6/2.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Review: Lily Allen - "REMIXED"
Lily Allen's recent It's Not Me, It's You found the British pop star in a softly electro-hued state. Even more techno-flavored was the offer of the tracks as song stems for remixing when you bought the physical CD. It only makes sense that a remix album would follow. Instead of the fan-uploaded remixes, Fritz von Runte and Mister Master Five have remixed every track from the disc, with varying results.The best remix is the "fearchestral mix" of "The Fear" which surrounds the confessional lyrics with a lush string section. I'm still trying to decide if the slow-down "Back to The Start [this is just a remix]" is insanely good or just insane. The vocals are slowed down to a masculine tone, and the spare beat is accentuated with what sounds like porn samples. It's interesting at the least, and a better use of the effect than on "Who'd Have Known [moss side mix]" I also enjoy the new beat on "Him [riot hymn mix]" and club sound of "I Could Say [function mix]" but some others, like "Fuck You [fossa nova mix]" and "He Wasn't There [welsh mix]" are less successful.
REMIXED is a mixed bag, some stellar moments and some just strange. But the best part? It's a free download at Lily Allen's website. (I know: way to bury the lead, Paul!) I found it easiest to download the album track-by-track. And if you hate every song, at least you paid less for it then you did for In Rainbows. Right?
Monday, May 25, 2009
Not-Too-Stale "Cotton Candy" From The Number One Transexual On The Planet
You know I'm dropping the gay ball when I keep putting off posting this kind of shit! The Cazwell-produced track "Cotton Candy" is the newest single from Amanda Lepore's long-awaited album I Am... Amanda Lepore.
The single got the video treatment earlier this month, and it's a delightful romp through old Hollywood poster art, with Amanda in some lovely vintage-style gowns and lingerie with a besotted Cazwell (in a cardigan, bow tie and Euro-trash lip hair) as her leading man. The song is as light and fluffy as the title might suggest, but it does have a fun beat and her hair looks fierce. Watch...
I Am... Amanda Lepore is out on Peace Biscuit later this spring...
The single got the video treatment earlier this month, and it's a delightful romp through old Hollywood poster art, with Amanda in some lovely vintage-style gowns and lingerie with a besotted Cazwell (in a cardigan, bow tie and Euro-trash lip hair) as her leading man. The song is as light and fluffy as the title might suggest, but it does have a fun beat and her hair looks fierce. Watch...
I Am... Amanda Lepore is out on Peace Biscuit later this spring...
3.12 Offer A "Bold New Song" On CD
Local band 3.12 have a mission statement: "Healing music for wounded souls." The CCM/adult contemporary trio have released their second hard-copy CD single, this time with original music. "Bold New Song" has been a concert staple, but this is the first time it's been available in a studio version.
The song is great, carrying on in the male/female vocal traditions of Christian bands like Avalon and Truth. The studio quality is really awesome, all the fun tricks that you can do with echoes and distortions are well edited, and reveal another layer of power in the song. The lyrics really speak to those who have become disenfranchised by certain evangelical organizations who vilify people instead of love them. I'm really pleased to be able to add this song to my iPod's summer playlist.
It's currently only available in CD form, hopefully an MP3 version is in the works. Order it at the band's website, and you can see a live performance below:
Bold New Song
The song is great, carrying on in the male/female vocal traditions of Christian bands like Avalon and Truth. The studio quality is really awesome, all the fun tricks that you can do with echoes and distortions are well edited, and reveal another layer of power in the song. The lyrics really speak to those who have become disenfranchised by certain evangelical organizations who vilify people instead of love them. I'm really pleased to be able to add this song to my iPod's summer playlist.
It's currently only available in CD form, hopefully an MP3 version is in the works. Order it at the band's website, and you can see a live performance below:
Bold New Song
Friday, May 22, 2009
VIDEO: Royksopp & Robyn & "The Girl & The Robot," Oh My!
Robyn is one fabulous girl, y'all. Even my baby sister had to get her hair did like the Swedish pop star for my other sister's wedding. Girlfriend needs to drop a new disc, but in the mean time I've been all about her collabo with Norwegian production duo Royksopp, "The Girl & The Robot."
Now there's a video for the fly track, a pretty literal translation of the title. Robyn loves her robot boyfriend, but he spends way too much time in his greenhouse. She keeps falling asleep in front of the TV, in a fabulous cocktail dress and lovely eye makeup while waiting for her man to call. Haven't we all been there? Watch:
Now there's a video for the fly track, a pretty literal translation of the title. Robyn loves her robot boyfriend, but he spends way too much time in his greenhouse. She keeps falling asleep in front of the TV, in a fabulous cocktail dress and lovely eye makeup while waiting for her man to call. Haven't we all been there? Watch:
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Regina Spektor Gives Jool Holland "Blue Lips"
I have no idea who this Jools Holland fellow is, but he has smashing taste in music. First he had Bat For Lashes perform the stunning "Daniel" on his program, now Regina Spektor is bringing the goods with another track from her upcoming Far. "Blue Lips" appears to be a B-side or double A-side with "Laughing With" and follows in that vein of introspective piano pop. This time, Regina is singing about blue being the most human color against lovely strings and her own piano playing. It's another lovely track from is shaping up to be one of my favorite albums this year.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
FABULOUSNESS BREAK! New Vanessa Williams Single Is Smooth As Glass
Did you know the always fabulous Vanessa Williams has a new album coming out? I didn't. Vanessa takes a break from being the fiercest bitch on Ugly Betty to drop the new disc, called The Real Thing, in first week of June, and the lead single "Just Friends" is produced by Babyface. It's so incredibly smooth, I just want to crawl under some satin sheet, pour lotion all over my hands and... play this song. (You thought it was gonna be dirty, didn't you?) Jazzy and light, it is perfect for playing at your next summer evening cocktail party. Can't you just smell the rose petals on the ottoman? Can't you feel the taffeta gowns? Can't you taste the champagne? Watch the video:
SUPRISE! Kris Wins Idol!!!! WHAT?!!! OMG!!!
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OK, after Adam was pretty much the crowned winner of Idol all season long by a salivating Paula we all assumed Glambert was a shoo-in to win.
But! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASSUME? It makes an ass out of me and u.
The point is, hot Christian husband and missionary Kris Allen won the whole shooting match. Which I am happy about, because no matter who won tonight I knew a truly awesome, kind and talented young man was going to win a million dollar album deal and another awesome, kind and talented young man would come in second and get a deal anyway. Adam and Kris both rocked the house, both did their own thing and both made me a little warm... down there.
So congrats, kiddo. Kris, man, you deserved it. For "Heartless" for "Ain't No Sunshine" for "Falling Slowly" and for "She Works Hard For The Money" - you are a true treasure. Thank you for being keeping the Blake/Cook/Brooke fires burning. And thank you, Adam, for doing the same thing. Only you looked better in the KISS boots.
Idol Recap: Torn Between Two Lovers
Hello Idol People! I had to go into work today, so my recap is gonna be short and sweet. Plus, if you read my live-blog last night you already know what went down.
Adam opened the show with a reprise of his best performance, the Tears For Fears song "Mad World" In keeping with his theatre goth style, his entrance was pure FIRE! Rising from behind the steps, backlit and surrounded by fog AND wearing a fly trench coat, Adam wowed us again. His original version had his sitting on a chair, surrounded by fog, and he killed it then. But the entrance was the best ever.
Kris was a little less flashy, but a whole lot more soulful with his encore of "Ain't No Sunshine" from behind the piano. It was everything beautiful, the tone of his voice when it is wracked with emotion is so amazing. And I love the way he closes his eyes while he plays, it's really moving.
For Simon Fuller's pick, Adam sang the Sam Cooke classic "A Change Is Gonna Come." I don't know why he picked that song, it's not really in Adam's wheelhouse at all. But he did a good job and was a little less crazy. Which is OK, we need a breather every now and again.
Kris was a little less interesting with Fuller's pick, "What's Going On" sounded rather like a jam band. It was serviceable and a bit forgettable but played to Kris's strength as a rootsy, crunchy granola kinda laid back guy.
Adam + The Awful Idol Single = EEK! He tried to go crazy with his voice on it, but the melody didn't support that kind of range. Plus, the song (as usual) is pure Hannah Montana cast-off shit.
Kris = The Awful Idol Single = Kinda good? I know, how did that happen? Mostly because of the fact I felt like Kris was living the song, I felt like he could fight a hurricane or whatever that shit was. He made it believable, and that's hard.
So, winner? Who knows? The judges did a soft sell on Kris, which can mean bad news for the Conway boy. But he make pick up Danny fans, which could spell doom for my golden boy, Adam. I couldn't vote, they are both so amazing. I can't wait to hear more from both of them, as well as Allison, Alexis and Matt.
Adam opened the show with a reprise of his best performance, the Tears For Fears song "Mad World" In keeping with his theatre goth style, his entrance was pure FIRE! Rising from behind the steps, backlit and surrounded by fog AND wearing a fly trench coat, Adam wowed us again. His original version had his sitting on a chair, surrounded by fog, and he killed it then. But the entrance was the best ever.
Kris was a little less flashy, but a whole lot more soulful with his encore of "Ain't No Sunshine" from behind the piano. It was everything beautiful, the tone of his voice when it is wracked with emotion is so amazing. And I love the way he closes his eyes while he plays, it's really moving.
For Simon Fuller's pick, Adam sang the Sam Cooke classic "A Change Is Gonna Come." I don't know why he picked that song, it's not really in Adam's wheelhouse at all. But he did a good job and was a little less crazy. Which is OK, we need a breather every now and again.
Kris was a little less interesting with Fuller's pick, "What's Going On" sounded rather like a jam band. It was serviceable and a bit forgettable but played to Kris's strength as a rootsy, crunchy granola kinda laid back guy.
Adam + The Awful Idol Single = EEK! He tried to go crazy with his voice on it, but the melody didn't support that kind of range. Plus, the song (as usual) is pure Hannah Montana cast-off shit.
Kris = The Awful Idol Single = Kinda good? I know, how did that happen? Mostly because of the fact I felt like Kris was living the song, I felt like he could fight a hurricane or whatever that shit was. He made it believable, and that's hard.
So, winner? Who knows? The judges did a soft sell on Kris, which can mean bad news for the Conway boy. But he make pick up Danny fans, which could spell doom for my golden boy, Adam. I couldn't vote, they are both so amazing. I can't wait to hear more from both of them, as well as Allison, Alexis and Matt.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Did You Watch "Glee"?
I just finished watching the most fabulous hour of network TV since Pushing Daisies was cancelled. If you watched TV, listened to the radio or visited MySpace in the last month, you probably heard that Nip/Tuck and Popular creator Ryan Murphy's new project Glee was premiering after American Idol tonight. But did you watch it? 'Cause you totally should have.
The plot involves Spanish teacher Will Schuester's leading of his Ohio school's Glee Club after the director is fired for sexual harassment. He butts heads with the coach of the cheer team (played by the fabulous Jane Lynch) and the rest of the sports cliches, and even finds himself at odds with his wife. He nearly quits, but is lured back by his passionate love of singing.
I'm not sure if I would call it an hour-long comedy or more of a dramedy, but it had moments both moving and funny. A lot of the characters are a bit broadly portrayed, but Broadway star Lea Michele's Rachel is a revelation. Fresh from winning a Drama Desk award for Spring Awakening, Michele brings a fresh joy to the screen as the overbearing former child prodigy and main diva of glee club. Cory Monteith is also a bright young talent, the two have amazing chemistry and pure joy on their faces as they perform the much hyped "Don't Stop Believin'" at the close of the pilot episode. He also shines in a speech to his football team mates after they call a wheelchair-bound glee member a loser.
It wasn't perfect - I found the closeted former director to be a bit campy, and Schuester's wife is almost unbelievably annoying. But Jayma Mays is delightful as Will's germaphobic coworker nursing a major crush on the married teacher, she has always brought such bubbly enthusiasm to the screen in roles on Ugly Betty and Heroes.
I would highly recommend this bright new series to anyone who loves music, teen comedy or Jane Lynch. Also, in case this doesn't sound gay enough, Josh Groban, the Chenoweth!!!! and Cheyenne Jackson guest star in upcoming episodes. The full series arrives in September, until then watch the pilot at Hulu or Fox.com. And you can download both "Don't Stop Believin'" (which owes a big debt to Petra Haden's cover from Guilt By Association) and a rival Glee club's version of Winehouse's "Rehab" at iTunes. Or just listen below:
The plot involves Spanish teacher Will Schuester's leading of his Ohio school's Glee Club after the director is fired for sexual harassment. He butts heads with the coach of the cheer team (played by the fabulous Jane Lynch) and the rest of the sports cliches, and even finds himself at odds with his wife. He nearly quits, but is lured back by his passionate love of singing.
I'm not sure if I would call it an hour-long comedy or more of a dramedy, but it had moments both moving and funny. A lot of the characters are a bit broadly portrayed, but Broadway star Lea Michele's Rachel is a revelation. Fresh from winning a Drama Desk award for Spring Awakening, Michele brings a fresh joy to the screen as the overbearing former child prodigy and main diva of glee club. Cory Monteith is also a bright young talent, the two have amazing chemistry and pure joy on their faces as they perform the much hyped "Don't Stop Believin'" at the close of the pilot episode. He also shines in a speech to his football team mates after they call a wheelchair-bound glee member a loser.
It wasn't perfect - I found the closeted former director to be a bit campy, and Schuester's wife is almost unbelievably annoying. But Jayma Mays is delightful as Will's germaphobic coworker nursing a major crush on the married teacher, she has always brought such bubbly enthusiasm to the screen in roles on Ugly Betty and Heroes.
I would highly recommend this bright new series to anyone who loves music, teen comedy or Jane Lynch. Also, in case this doesn't sound gay enough, Josh Groban, the Chenoweth!!!! and Cheyenne Jackson guest star in upcoming episodes. The full series arrives in September, until then watch the pilot at Hulu or Fox.com. And you can download both "Don't Stop Believin'" (which owes a big debt to Petra Haden's cover from Guilt By Association) and a rival Glee club's version of Winehouse's "Rehab" at iTunes. Or just listen below:
Ten Days Of Idol Insanity: Live-Blogging The Idol Finale!
Hello Idol heads! I was going to be using Twitter to live-blog tonight's Idol finale Part 1, you can still follow my tweeting at www.twitter.com/paulbos for all my Idol-licous comments, snark and fun. But my Twitter widget won't cooporate, so instead I'll be blogging during the commercial breaks whatever is good, bad and Paula-level crazy. Stay tuned to this post, and refresh after each break for new comments!
8:06PM - So far, so filler. Kara co-wrote the single, is it gonna be "I Do Not Hook Up" awesome? Or more "This Is My Now"? And the boys will be doing an encore of their favorite performance of the season, boring. But they look fine as hale, yo. I wanna be all up in that Idol sammich.
8:24PM - They were both so good, Adam's entrance was higher than "Feelin' Good" level, that smoke machine/riser/trench coat combo was hot. But Kris is so emotional, and "Ain't No Sunshine" was frakkin' flawless. Damn, I don't even know who to vote for this time!
8:34PM - Adam is no Same Cooke, that was a really dumb song choice from Simon Fuller. He was good, but he should have rearranged it, except he would have been bashed for that.
8:40PM - It was a little too jam band, and I agree with Simon. Too laid back, and surprisingly I liked Adam a lot more. I'm leaning towards Adam to get my votes, but we'll see if either can rock the Idol single...
8:50PM - Adam is a Broadway-trained actor/singer and not even he could make me believe this Miley Cyrus cast-off of a song. God, why do they have to perform such banal "inspircraptional" music?
9:16PM - Kris sold me on "No Boundaries" but I can't vote for either of them. It would be like picking a favorite kid. I can't do it, I love them both. Like a fat kid loves banana creme cake AND spice cake with cream cheese icing.
8:06PM - So far, so filler. Kara co-wrote the single, is it gonna be "I Do Not Hook Up" awesome? Or more "This Is My Now"? And the boys will be doing an encore of their favorite performance of the season, boring. But they look fine as hale, yo. I wanna be all up in that Idol sammich.
8:24PM - They were both so good, Adam's entrance was higher than "Feelin' Good" level, that smoke machine/riser/trench coat combo was hot. But Kris is so emotional, and "Ain't No Sunshine" was frakkin' flawless. Damn, I don't even know who to vote for this time!
8:34PM - Adam is no Same Cooke, that was a really dumb song choice from Simon Fuller. He was good, but he should have rearranged it, except he would have been bashed for that.
8:40PM - It was a little too jam band, and I agree with Simon. Too laid back, and surprisingly I liked Adam a lot more. I'm leaning towards Adam to get my votes, but we'll see if either can rock the Idol single...
8:50PM - Adam is a Broadway-trained actor/singer and not even he could make me believe this Miley Cyrus cast-off of a song. God, why do they have to perform such banal "inspircraptional" music?
9:16PM - Kris sold me on "No Boundaries" but I can't vote for either of them. It would be like picking a favorite kid. I can't do it, I love them both. Like a fat kid loves banana creme cake AND spice cake with cream cheese icing.
Ten Days Of Idol Insanity: The Fifteen Best Songs By Idol Alumni
After the ticker-tape falls and a schlocky ballad is sung by a tearful winner, Idol contestants and winners alike must now do the hard work of making an album, promoting that album and trying not to get dropped from their label. Some do it better than others. For example, these lovely songs:
15: "Crush [Sonic Ether Club Mix]" - David Archuleta
The original version of this song is pretty sappy, I get a little creeped out when kids sing about crushes like they are the real deal. But the club mix is pretty sweet, and the chorus is catchy as fuck.
14: "Bar-Ba-sol" - David Cook
While the majority of David's major label debut is mid tempo lite-alternative rock of the Lifehouse variety, this shredder is a growly bit of southern-fried grit. The hardest rocker from Idol, at least until Adam makes his album.
13: "Invisible" - Clay Aiken
This is trashy pre-fab pop at it's creepiest. From Measure Of A Man comes a tale of stalking, sung with the bubbly voice of the geekiest kid to grace the Idol stage. I dare you not to sing along. (It's impossible.)
12: "Through The Fire" - Melinda Doolittle
It's just a Walmart exclusive track from season six's second runner up's old-school R&B disc Coming Back To You, but this Chaka Khan cover is exactly what Mindy Doo does best. A more gospel inflection takes the pop hit to church.
11: "What About Now" - Daughtry
Chris Daughtry may have only made fourth place in season five, but he has a bigger career with his own band's self-titled debut than any other contestant that season. This slow-burning inspirational rock number is exactly why.
10: "Love Story" - Katherine McPhee
In this brassy beat-heavy homage to 1960s-era pop, the season five runner-up tries to make the JoJo-aping "Over It" not her only hit from her self-titled album. It didn't work, and I'm still stumped as to why. It's a tale as old as time - boy and girl are friends, become more.
9: "Before He Cheats" - Carrie Underwood
What happens when a petite blonde from Oklahoma is cheated on? C'mon, you know the words: she "dug her key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, carved my name into her leather seats... maybe next time he'll think before he cheats" and made a nation of girls n gays run out to by Some Hearts.
8: "I Ran [Radio Edit]" - Darude feat Blake Lewis
About the same time he was being dropped from his label after the painfully underrated Audio Day Dream tanked, season six's resident beat-boxer hooked up with techno/house mastermind Darude for a couple of tracks. Among those were an AIDS charity single and this brilliant reworking of the Flock Of Seagulls.
7: "No Air" - Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown
This song, from season 6 winner Jordin's self-titled disc and featuring a pre-Rihanna-beatdown Brown, is epic. The number of Runs Per Minute is Whitney-level and the lyrics are ridiculously over dramatic. Just the way I like it.
6: "Because Of You" - Kelly Clarkson
When I first heard this song, from Kelly's breakthrough sophomore work Breakaway, I could understand every word, every emotion. I knew exactly what kind of relationship Kelly had with her mother, because I had the same one. This used to be the soundtrack to my own (therapy-filled) journey to my own wholeness.
5: "And I Am Telling You" - Jennifer Hudson
J.Hud deservedly won an Oscar for her brilliant work in Dreamgirls, and her performance of this song and "I Am Changing" on the soundtrack reveals why. The emotional connection and completely organic performance are astonishing, she is Effie.
4: "Permanent" - David Cook
The seventh season winner brings tears to my eyes with a painfully intimate tunes written for his terminally ill brother and included on his self-titled CD. I danced with my little sister to this song at her wedding, it's a beautiful statement of familial love.
3: "Irvine" - Kelly Clarkson
In this intimate acoustic ballad that closed her artistic statement My December, the original Idol winner cries out to the Divine as she contemplates fading completely. Bonus points for the hidden track that follows, a sassy bar tune about Chivas.
2: "Praying For Time" - Carrie Underwood
For the charity special Idol Gives Back 2, season four winner Carrie performed this George Micheal cover, which was even more emotionally wrenching than her cover of "I'll Stand By You" for the original Idol Gives Back. I still pull it up on the ol' iPod when I need to get inspired to give.
1: "Since U Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson
The massive second single from Breakaway may be a predictable choice, I know. But when you combine a chick who can sing her face off with any song and the power chords of Swedish pop masterminds Dr Luke and Max Martin, what else can you expect but perfection? Even after being remixed, covered, inserted into Girl Talk jams and otherwise played to death, "Since U Been Gone" is what every Idol contestant dream of when they stand before the judges and belt.
15: "Crush [Sonic Ether Club Mix]" - David Archuleta
The original version of this song is pretty sappy, I get a little creeped out when kids sing about crushes like they are the real deal. But the club mix is pretty sweet, and the chorus is catchy as fuck.
14: "Bar-Ba-sol" - David Cook
While the majority of David's major label debut is mid tempo lite-alternative rock of the Lifehouse variety, this shredder is a growly bit of southern-fried grit. The hardest rocker from Idol, at least until Adam makes his album.
13: "Invisible" - Clay Aiken
This is trashy pre-fab pop at it's creepiest. From Measure Of A Man comes a tale of stalking, sung with the bubbly voice of the geekiest kid to grace the Idol stage. I dare you not to sing along. (It's impossible.)
12: "Through The Fire" - Melinda Doolittle
It's just a Walmart exclusive track from season six's second runner up's old-school R&B disc Coming Back To You, but this Chaka Khan cover is exactly what Mindy Doo does best. A more gospel inflection takes the pop hit to church.
11: "What About Now" - Daughtry
Chris Daughtry may have only made fourth place in season five, but he has a bigger career with his own band's self-titled debut than any other contestant that season. This slow-burning inspirational rock number is exactly why.
10: "Love Story" - Katherine McPhee
In this brassy beat-heavy homage to 1960s-era pop, the season five runner-up tries to make the JoJo-aping "Over It" not her only hit from her self-titled album. It didn't work, and I'm still stumped as to why. It's a tale as old as time - boy and girl are friends, become more.
9: "Before He Cheats" - Carrie Underwood
What happens when a petite blonde from Oklahoma is cheated on? C'mon, you know the words: she "dug her key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, carved my name into her leather seats... maybe next time he'll think before he cheats" and made a nation of girls n gays run out to by Some Hearts.
8: "I Ran [Radio Edit]" - Darude feat Blake Lewis
About the same time he was being dropped from his label after the painfully underrated Audio Day Dream tanked, season six's resident beat-boxer hooked up with techno/house mastermind Darude for a couple of tracks. Among those were an AIDS charity single and this brilliant reworking of the Flock Of Seagulls.
7: "No Air" - Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown
This song, from season 6 winner Jordin's self-titled disc and featuring a pre-Rihanna-beatdown Brown, is epic. The number of Runs Per Minute is Whitney-level and the lyrics are ridiculously over dramatic. Just the way I like it.
6: "Because Of You" - Kelly Clarkson
When I first heard this song, from Kelly's breakthrough sophomore work Breakaway, I could understand every word, every emotion. I knew exactly what kind of relationship Kelly had with her mother, because I had the same one. This used to be the soundtrack to my own (therapy-filled) journey to my own wholeness.
5: "And I Am Telling You" - Jennifer Hudson
J.Hud deservedly won an Oscar for her brilliant work in Dreamgirls, and her performance of this song and "I Am Changing" on the soundtrack reveals why. The emotional connection and completely organic performance are astonishing, she is Effie.
4: "Permanent" - David Cook
The seventh season winner brings tears to my eyes with a painfully intimate tunes written for his terminally ill brother and included on his self-titled CD. I danced with my little sister to this song at her wedding, it's a beautiful statement of familial love.
3: "Irvine" - Kelly Clarkson
In this intimate acoustic ballad that closed her artistic statement My December, the original Idol winner cries out to the Divine as she contemplates fading completely. Bonus points for the hidden track that follows, a sassy bar tune about Chivas.
2: "Praying For Time" - Carrie Underwood
For the charity special Idol Gives Back 2, season four winner Carrie performed this George Micheal cover, which was even more emotionally wrenching than her cover of "I'll Stand By You" for the original Idol Gives Back. I still pull it up on the ol' iPod when I need to get inspired to give.
1: "Since U Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson
The massive second single from Breakaway may be a predictable choice, I know. But when you combine a chick who can sing her face off with any song and the power chords of Swedish pop masterminds Dr Luke and Max Martin, what else can you expect but perfection? Even after being remixed, covered, inserted into Girl Talk jams and otherwise played to death, "Since U Been Gone" is what every Idol contestant dream of when they stand before the judges and belt.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Ten Days Of Idol Insanity: Jordin Sparks & Ryan Tedder Find Love To Be A Battlefield, Pat Benatar Has No Comment
Last week on the Idol result's show, season six winner Jordin Sparks performed her new single, the Ryan Tedder-penned and produced "Battlefield."
I can't decide if I love this song or not. It loses a couple of points for the stealing the whole idea behind Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield" but it makes up a lot of points by not re-using the "Halo"/"Already Gone" beat Tedder has already foisted upon us. More importantly, when Jordin leads the choir in "Better go get your armor" towards the end, I can't help but sing along. It's good pop music, even if it's not a totally new concept. Plus, she looks hot. (It's OK, fellas - she's legal now.) Watch:
PS: Pat Benatar & Blondie are co-headlining a tour this summer. Who else has their leg-warmers ready?
I can't decide if I love this song or not. It loses a couple of points for the stealing the whole idea behind Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield" but it makes up a lot of points by not re-using the "Halo"/"Already Gone" beat Tedder has already foisted upon us. More importantly, when Jordin leads the choir in "Better go get your armor" towards the end, I can't help but sing along. It's good pop music, even if it's not a totally new concept. Plus, she looks hot. (It's OK, fellas - she's legal now.) Watch:
PS: Pat Benatar & Blondie are co-headlining a tour this summer. Who else has their leg-warmers ready?
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Ten Days Of Idol Insanity: My Danny/Adam Fanfic!
For those of you unaware, Fanfic is a genre of amateur writings focusing on established characters from TV, film, comics and other areas of pop culture. While writing sequels and variations on someone else's work is a tale as old as fiction, in the 1960s a boom of Star Trek related fanfic ushered the modern wave of sci-fi/fantasy and with the birth of the internet it's become more and more widespread, no longer resigned to mimeographed fan zines. A special branch of fanfic is slash fiction, fiction stories that focus on homosexual relationships between male characters. It can be downright pornographic, and even frighteningly disturbing -especially the Harry Potter slash fiction. While some still hold to the "gay only" rule, some latched onto the straight slash category.
I experimented with Narnia and Pilgrim's Progress fanfic when I was a kid without even knowing there was a name for it. A few years ago I attempted a real person slash fic about a famous acting/writing duo from Boston, and the one gentleman's girlfriend from the block. It was kind funny and really dirty. I'm pretty sure it was also anatomically impossible. It will never see the light of day, if I even still have it around.
Well, for Ten Days Of Idol Insanity I thought I'd try a real person slash fic, only a "no lemon" one because this blog would never go NSFW on y'all's asses. Also, for the record: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND IS NOT AT ALL BASED ON FACT. NO HARM WAS MEANT BY THIS WORK OF FICTION AND IT WILL BE REMOVED UPON REQUEST. Please to enjoy:
I experimented with Narnia and Pilgrim's Progress fanfic when I was a kid without even knowing there was a name for it. A few years ago I attempted a real person slash fic about a famous acting/writing duo from Boston, and the one gentleman's girlfriend from the block. It was kind funny and really dirty. I'm pretty sure it was also anatomically impossible. It will never see the light of day, if I even still have it around.
Well, for Ten Days Of Idol Insanity I thought I'd try a real person slash fic, only a "no lemon" one because this blog would never go NSFW on y'all's asses. Also, for the record: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND IS NOT AT ALL BASED ON FACT. NO HARM WAS MEANT BY THIS WORK OF FICTION AND IT WILL BE REMOVED UPON REQUEST. Please to enjoy:
Whole Lotta Love: A Danny/Adam SlashFic
Adam stepped gingerly out of the shower. With a deft motion, he grabbed a towel and tightly wrapped it around his lean waist. As he ran a comb through his hair, he inspected his face. Without the ever-present eye makeup and styled hair, he still had an otherworldly quality. His dark eyes were even more piercing without the liner.
As he walked the hallway back to his room, hoping Kris wasn't sleeping yet so they could chat about the day's performances, he heard a familiar sound coming from Danny's bedroom. He hadn't heard the sniffling and squelched noises of someone trying to hold back sobs in some time. Over the first few week it was a daily occurrence, but Adam assumed it had stopped for the time being.
Adam paused before he passed the door that hid the sobs. The first few times he heard Danny, he shrugged it off as more attention-grabbing theatrics from the grieving widower. Over the weeks Danny had become more human to him, even likable. He knew that behind the smug looks and self-satisfied clapping after each performance was a very lonely young man.
While he thought he understood Danny's emotional state, Adam was still reluctant to get involved. Would he understand that any attempt to be friendly was just a platonic move? Danny seemed uneasy around him ever since the first time he mentioned an ex-boyfriend, and what more could he expect from a church music director? Ever since then, Adam had avoided being alone with Danny, out of respect for his uneasiness as well as more self-preserving motives.
But Adam also understood the widower's heartache. He'd been through the wringer, love had done a number on his heart, too. And he wondered if Danny had felt a resurgence of painful emotions thanks to the tanking of his Aerosmith performance earlier that evening. "Poor Danny, I don't think he's ever sounded that bad," Allison had whispered to Adam during after their duet.
So he took a breath, repeated a brief mantra and knocked on the door. He could hear a soft "Come in" and Danny shifting on the sheets.
Adam pushed the door open. The room was dark but the light from the hall was enough to reveal red-rimmed eyes, no longer covered by dark-framed glasses. Adam hesitated. Why did I have to be a hero? I don't know what to say to him, he thought with a gulp. Too late, just say something.
"Are you OK?"
The words dropped into the air, sounding at once insincere and weak.
"I'm fine, just go put on some clothes."
"Oh, sorry. I was walking back from the shower and heard you... well... I heard something."
"I was crying. OK? Got a problem with men showing emotion?" Danny spat.
"Whoa, I didn't mean to offend. I just though you might need to talk about it. I understand more than you might think," Adam said. He attempted to hide the annoyance in his voice, Danny was hurting and embarrassed. Cut him some slack, Lambert.
"Yeah, maybe you would."
Danny motioned to empty bed across from where he was sitting. Adam tried to keep himself covered as he walked over to the spot. Damn, I wish I had put on some clothes before I dropped in on Joe Homophobe here.
"Danny, what's wrong? I mean, I could guess. But it always helps to say it out loud."
"Yeah, I'm sure you could guess. I tried to be everything you are tonight. I tried to be powerful and exciting and just tackle that song with gusto. I wanted that audience frenzy you get."
"But you do have the audience behind you..."
"Yeah, but you! Kara called you a rock god. I wanted, just for one moment to beat you at your own game. I guess maybe I can't," he sputtered as he flopped back onto the bed.
"Danny. Danny," Adam leaned forward and tapped the other man's knee, "sit up. Look at me. You may not be me, but I could never be you. You do have a gift. Every singer has their own special music, just embrace that."
"Yeah, I know. I just wish I still had..." he trailed off as tears welled up again.
"You miss her don't you?"
"Her? Yeah, I miss Sophia. I couldn't have become the man I am today without her. I loved her."
Adam looked at Danny. He was puzzled. He sounded like he was describing a teacher, or a favorite aunt. The tone in his voice didn't match the intense emotion that poured from his eyes.
"And I'm sure you wish your friend Jamar was here, he could do a better job comforting you right now," Adam said quietly.
"I miss him. I do. God, I had know idea how hard it would be. How do you survive without the man you... your best friend."
"Danny. Don't play games with me. You're in love with him, aren't you?"
"You're sick! Get out of my room. I'm not gay, I'm not like you! Leave!" Danny stood up and grabbed Adam by the arm.
"Don't grab me, I'll go. Just do one thing for me. Think back to the moments you've shared with Jamar, think back to the moments just now. You weren't crying about your song, or your wife or the stress of being here. You are crying because you can't imagine staying here any longer, without the man you have come to love. It's OK. I know exactly the kind of tears you are shedding." Adam gulp as Danny paused for a moment. "Just remember. Whether you go home tomorrow night as a top three member or get eliminated, you still get to go home. Go to him. Tell him what you are feeling. Don't be surprised, he may feel the same way."
A million emotions flashed on Danny's face. Anger, relief, sadness, fear and just briefly, genuine joy before a hard look came over his eyes.
"Get out."
Almost a week later, the three men returned from their fast paced trips home. Adam attempted to avoid Danny, but unpacking in the corner of his room he couldn't avoid the Milwaukee returnee.
"So, did you enjoy going home?" Adam said a smoothly as possible.
"Don't act like you didn't see it. It's all over the internet, the videos of me losing the words to 'Billie Jean'. It's all your fault, too."
"What, how?"
"You put the idea in my head. You, with your words. You distracted me from the goal, from the show. You made me think it was possible, to be happy. And I couldn't wait to see him." Once more, the tears poured out of his eyes. "It wasn't. He looked at me like I was sick. He said he loved me, but not like that. And he'll pray for me to get over it, my 'pain and loss that warped my mind.' Yeah, that's what he called it."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know it would go so badly. I shouldn't have pushed you."
"It's OK. I feel free. I told the truth, and the truth will set you free. That's in the Bible."
"I know. I just wish truth didn't hurt so much on the way on the way to freedom. But you are so strong, Danny. You'll make it." He took Danny's hand in a firm squeeze.
"Thanks. I just wish I could see Sophia one more time, tell her I found love again. Tell her I'm gonna be OK."
Adam looked Danny right in the eye.
"You will be OK."
"I know."
Danny looked right back and pushed his lips against Adam's. Adam was taken aback but, after freezing for a split second, he kissed him back.
Fin
So kids, what'd ya think? Is the most awful piece of Idol-related trash since Taylor Hick's first single? Or did it make you cry? Or maybe laugh uproariously? Tell me all about it in the comments...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Ten Days Of Idol Insanity: The Time Jesus Took The Wheel
It's Saturday and we are halfway through Ten Days Of Idol Insanity. I'm still working on some lists, and I'm trying my hand at Idol fanfic. Sexy/disgusting, I know. But I figured this was the perfect time to share a lil' story that I've hinted at a couple times before on Pictures & Conversations. It's the tale of the time Jesus took the wheel.
In case you're a little confused as to what Jesus has to do with Idol (besides that time the top 8 sang "Shout To The Lord" on Idol Gives Back aka: most awkward performance ever) I'm talking about Idol Season 4 winner Carrie Underwood's first hit single on the country charts: "Jesus Take The Wheel." Watch below:
The lyrics of the verses are a little ham-fisted, but I actually love the chorus. I used to say "Jesus, take the wheel" whenever things got a little dicey at work or home, sort of an all-purpose prayer of resignation that I was in need of Divine intervention.
Well, this story takes place about three years ago. I had been working as key-holding manager at the Harrisburg location of my current Retail Place Of Employment (RPOE) and was apparently doing a decent job. Our York location had lost some staff and was working with just one manager, so management staff from other locations were being asked to come in for a few shifts each week to give manager a break.
Well, I was asked if I would be willing to close once a week in York, which is about 35 miles from my house. I wanted to make a good impression, as well as earn some overtime and paid mileage. However, I was not at that time an very experienced driver, I'd only been driving for a couple of years and I had avoided driving on long trips. I had never driven more than ten mile trips, let alone 35. I didn't tell anyone that, I just said I hadn't been to York before. So one of the other managers hooked me up with directions.
On the morning of my first shift in York, I left 90 minutes early. I was so sure I was gonna get lost, I wanted to give myself time to get lost and still be at the store at my scheduled time. I got on route 81 going the wrong direction, which had me jittery. I got off on an exit, turned around and head towards York.
I'd been driving for a while, gotten onto route 83 with out any trouble and was watching for the exit number that was written on the directions. I get paranoid when I'm following directions, so after a while I checked the directions again. I was wrong, I wasn't looking for an exit number, I was looking for a route number.
I start freaking out. I didn't know the exit number, so I couldn't tell if I had passed it. I can't read a map to save my life, plus I couldn't really pull over until I found an exit. I shouted like I never shouted in my life:
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!
Literally, within 30 seconds a sign appeared on the side of 83 stating YORK: 10 Miles. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't passed it, I was still miles away.
I know it's a little bit silly, but I do feel like Jesus took the wheel for a hot minute, and that sign was placed at such a spot so I wouldn't go completely postal. And since then, I've gained a lot more confidence in driving, I make 400 mile round trips to see my mom all the time. I even dated a guy who lived and went to college in York. And I drive 16 miles to work every day after my promotion to Assistant Manager of the biggest store in the chain. It all worked out...
So yeah, that's my story. The story of the time Jesus took the wheel on the way to York.
In case you're a little confused as to what Jesus has to do with Idol (besides that time the top 8 sang "Shout To The Lord" on Idol Gives Back aka: most awkward performance ever) I'm talking about Idol Season 4 winner Carrie Underwood's first hit single on the country charts: "Jesus Take The Wheel." Watch below:
The lyrics of the verses are a little ham-fisted, but I actually love the chorus. I used to say "Jesus, take the wheel" whenever things got a little dicey at work or home, sort of an all-purpose prayer of resignation that I was in need of Divine intervention.
Well, this story takes place about three years ago. I had been working as key-holding manager at the Harrisburg location of my current Retail Place Of Employment (RPOE) and was apparently doing a decent job. Our York location had lost some staff and was working with just one manager, so management staff from other locations were being asked to come in for a few shifts each week to give manager a break.
Well, I was asked if I would be willing to close once a week in York, which is about 35 miles from my house. I wanted to make a good impression, as well as earn some overtime and paid mileage. However, I was not at that time an very experienced driver, I'd only been driving for a couple of years and I had avoided driving on long trips. I had never driven more than ten mile trips, let alone 35. I didn't tell anyone that, I just said I hadn't been to York before. So one of the other managers hooked me up with directions.
On the morning of my first shift in York, I left 90 minutes early. I was so sure I was gonna get lost, I wanted to give myself time to get lost and still be at the store at my scheduled time. I got on route 81 going the wrong direction, which had me jittery. I got off on an exit, turned around and head towards York.
I'd been driving for a while, gotten onto route 83 with out any trouble and was watching for the exit number that was written on the directions. I get paranoid when I'm following directions, so after a while I checked the directions again. I was wrong, I wasn't looking for an exit number, I was looking for a route number.
I start freaking out. I didn't know the exit number, so I couldn't tell if I had passed it. I can't read a map to save my life, plus I couldn't really pull over until I found an exit. I shouted like I never shouted in my life:
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!
Literally, within 30 seconds a sign appeared on the side of 83 stating YORK: 10 Miles. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't passed it, I was still miles away.
I know it's a little bit silly, but I do feel like Jesus took the wheel for a hot minute, and that sign was placed at such a spot so I wouldn't go completely postal. And since then, I've gained a lot more confidence in driving, I make 400 mile round trips to see my mom all the time. I even dated a guy who lived and went to college in York. And I drive 16 miles to work every day after my promotion to Assistant Manager of the biggest store in the chain. It all worked out...
So yeah, that's my story. The story of the time Jesus took the wheel on the way to York.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Ten Days Of Idol Insanity: The Top Fifty Greatest Idol Performances EVER!
As an avid music fan, the best part of American Idol is the unique performances and song choices made by the contestants. Sometimes a great Idol is slayed by poor song choices, other times a fresh favorite emerges when they create a new sound out a familiar hit. I can't testify to any Kelly or Clay performances, I missed season one and two. But I am stretching the definition to include any performance by a contestant during the season they competed in. So Hollywood week performances, elimination night performances and even finale performances are eligible. So here they are, fifty performances I still remember...
50. Chris Sligh - Typical
Top 24 Week, Season 6 - He couldn't keep up the fire, but he broke out of the box with this Mute Math cover that was kinda hot.
49.David Cook - Eleanor Rigby
Beatles Week, Season 7 - David Cook rocks, and you'll find a lot of him on this list.
48. Katherine McPhee - Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Top Three Week, Season 5 - She could sing, and she was stunningly beautiful. But she never had a moment until this heart-tugging pick from Simon.
47. Adam Lambert - Believe
Hollywood Week, Season 8 - Glambert does Cher, acoustically. And you wonder why he's a star?
46. Mandisa - Never
Top 24 Week, Season 5 - She wanted to prove sistas could rock. Consider this case closed.
45. Allison Ireheta - Someone To Watch Over Me
Rat Pack Week, Season 8 - She needed someone to watch over her when the judges were on the prowl, but vocally she hit this out of the emotional park.
44. Brooke White - Let It Be
Lennon/McCartney Week, Season 7 - She may have false started this Beatles classic, but she still sounded fab.
43. LaToya London - Ooh Baby, Baby
Ashford & Simpson Week, Season 3 - The classiest of the Three Divas give Smokey and the gang a run for their money.
42. Anthony Federov - Incomplete
Current Billboard Hits, Season 4 - He was too late for the boyband boom, which is too bad because this Backstreet Boys single was made for him.
41. Kris Allen - Ain’t No Sunshine
Top iTunes Downloads Week, Season 8 - He plays piano, too?
40. Alexandrea Lushington - Spinning Wheel
Top 24 Week, Season 7 - Why didn't she go any further? This girl rocked my world, briefly.
39. Chris Daughtry - I Walk The Line
Country Week, Season 5 - The rocker rocks Johnny Cash, controversy ensues. But the performance kicks ass.
38. Allison Ireheta - I Can’t Make You Love Me
Songs From The Year You Were Born, Season 8 - She's way too young for the lyrics, but you couldn't tell that from the performance.
37. Carly Smithson - Blackbird
Beatles Week, Season 7 - Haunting vocals from an industry cast-off.
36. Nadia Turner - The Power Of Love
Top 20 Week, Season 4 - The Ashley Cleveland CCM hit sounded twice as soulful as ever.
35. Nathaniel Marshall - Disturbia
Hollywood Week, Season 8 - Give it up for the queer kid, he has YouTube-ready skills on the acoustic Rihanna tip.
34. Lakisha Jones - And I Am Telling You
Top 16 week, season 6 - LaKisha attempts to outshine J.Hud the same weeks she wins an Oscar, and almost succeeds.
33. Gina Glockson - Paint It Black
British Invasion week, season 6 - That rarest of Idols, the female rocker, gooses up the Stones.
32. Alexis Grace - Dirty Diana
Micheal Jackson week, season 8 - Alexis puts her pipes and stage presence to good use.
31. David Cook - Hello
80s Week, season 6 - The first look at David's skills at fresh interpretation.
30. David Archulata - "Imagine"
I wasn't a fan of season 7 runner up David, but even I have to give him props for his emotive reading of the John Lennon classic.
29. Bo Bice - "Vehicle"
Instead of Disco Week, season four gave us 70s Dance Week. Was it just so Bo could blow us away with his roaring cover of the Ides Of March hit? If so, who cares? He grabbed the mic stand and the crowd went wild.
28. Blake Lewis - "Time Of The Season"
British Invasion week of season 6 was one of the chances Blake grabbed to show off his beatboxing skills, plus a sexy new catchphrase for all the Blake-heads: "Who's your daddy?"
27. Kris Allen - "Falling Slowly"
Taking a recent Oscar winner from the film Once, Kris made his mark as the most current performer of season 8. His vocals float over a gently plucked guitar, showing he knows how to utilize his instrument more than most soft-voiced singers.
26. Syesha Mercado - "One Rock And Roll Too Many"
Syesha seemed to coast along on the "diva vote" as the only African-American female of season 7. I often (incorrectly) picked her as the one to go home, until Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber week. That week, she slinked her way through a Starlight Express number and proved why she deserved her top three place. I never heard her as a radio artist, but she will kill on Broadway.
25. Allison Ireheta & Adam Lambert - "Slow Ride"
The two most dynamic singers of season 8 rocked the house with this otherwise boring Foghat hit. The live version is killer, the way those two feed off the other's infinite energy is a treat to watch. I would watch an Allison/Adam TV variety show all day, every day.
24. Vonzell Solomon - "On The Radio"
What ever happened to Baby V? She had such promise, and while we all knew Carrie was winning season 4, I hoped for more from the Florida native. She shut the club down with her Donna Summer cover, chosen by Simon Cowell for top three week. I wish we had a market for disco singers again, Vonzell would be the queen of that scene.
23. David Cook - "Billie Jean"
On season 7's Songs From The Year You Were Born week, David Cook covered Chris Cornell's cover of Micheal Jackson's "Billie Jean" and nailed it. The original was brilliant, one the greatest pop songs of all time. But in it, I always believe MJ knows Billie Jean was not his lover, when David Cook sings it get the idea he's trying to convince himself. It becomes a new song.
22. Jordin Sparks - "I (Who Have Nothing)"
Picture this: Season 6, British Invasion Week. Sixteen-year-old Jordin has flown under the radar, Melinda and LaKisha are currently the ones to beat. What's a girl to do? Pull out an ancient Shirley Bassey torch song and blow the audience away with a voice we didn't know you had.
21. Diana DeGarmo - "Don’t Cry Out Loud"
Season 3's runner-up got a bum rap, often being referred to as a Di-Bot for her pageanty yet pitch perfect singing. But on top three night, she finally got a chance to shine, with this schmaltzy (in a good way) Melissa Manchester ballad. What, has the robot developed human emotions? RUN!
20. Matt Giraurd - "So Small"
When you cover a hit by an Idol winner, you risk a lot. Season 8's Matt had to know this, but he took this lovely Carrie Underwood single and imbued it was a layer of soulful piano. It works on multiple levels, even improving on the original.
19. Elliot Yamin feat. Mary J Blige - "One"
Elliot may have finished third in season 5, but on finale night he took the prize for best performance with a guest star. He may not have stolen the spotlight from the gorgeous Mary J, but he held his own.
18. Jennifer Hudson - "Circle Of Life"
For weeks during season 3 J.Hud had enduring the constant comparisons to LaToya and Fantasia, often pointed out as the weakest of the Three Divas. But on Elton John night, all that changed. The Lion King hit took on a gorgeous gospel tone and jump started one of the greatest post-Idol star paths.
17. David Cook - "Little Sparrow"
It was the biggest shock to me that anybody even had heard of Dolly's bluegrass album Little Sparrow, let alone that my Idol crush would perform the title track. He didn't change the gender pronouns, just the sound - making a spooky bluegrass track a slow burning rock anthem.
16. Kris Allen - "Heartless"
I started this list before the top three performances, but I rearranged it to fit one of the most unique spectacles the Idol stage has brought us. Cute as a button, with a soft, sexy voice, Kris flipped the script on his Idol path and roared with an angry, bluesy take on the autotuned Kanye hit - performed by West less than two months prior on the same stage. Balls, he's got 'em.
15. Chris Daughtry - "Hemorrhage"
Chris Daughtry brought modern rock to the stage on season 5 and this Fuel hit earned him an offer from the band to become their new lead singer. He may have only come in fourth, but managed to have one of the biggest post-Idol careers.
14. Chikeze - "She’s A Woman"
Up until Beatles week in season 7, Chikeze was a bit of a bore. Aping Luther Vandross will only get you so far, so he had to bring it or get left behind. Taking an obscure cut by the Fab Four and giving it a bluegrass opening and a southern rock back end was the ticket to a few more weeks on the show.
13. Blake Lewis, Chris Sligh, Rudy Cardenas & Tom Lowe - "How Deep Is Your Love"
During group rounds in Hollywood week, we rarely get anything but drama and showboating. But sometimes, we get magic. During season 6's Hollywood round, Blake beatboxes (natch) as the other three harmonize, creating a rare moment of genius, forty seconds I can never get out of my head.
12. Alison Ireheta - "Hot Stuff"
The females rarely get credit for rearranging songs, and no where was this more obvious in the tepid response to Alison's brilliant rock-tinged version of "Hot Stuff." I still feel uneasy at the thought of a sixteen-year-old singing such lyrics, even more so at the fact it worked so well.
11. Brooke White - "Love Is A Battlefield"
With a soft, emotive voice, Brooke didn't stand a chance of matching Pat Benatar's powerful soprano on the 80s classic. So Brooke slowed it down, doing an acoustic rendition and made it work for her.
10. Nadia Turner - "You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me"
Nadia is another one of the Idols who flared quickly, her first few weeks were blazing hot soul-rock performances. Her flame sputtered after that, but not before she gave us this chilling reading of the Dusty Springfeild classic. She wasn't a diva, but she took her soulful voice to higher levels one last time in season 4.
9. Adam Lambert - "Mad World"
In the current Idol season, no one has gotten more press than Lambert. And deservedly so, his control on this Tear For Fears single is incredible, even more so when you compare it to his more wild performances. Like David Cook, you can almost feel the switch from frontrunner to clear winner.
8. Jason Castro - "Hallujah"
With his dirty white-boy dreads and stoner-like inability to give a good interview, it could have been easy to forget Jason possessed a quietly confident vocal presence and peircing blue eyes. I could have been easy, except this cover of the Leonard Cohen classic for 80s week in season 7 was inescapably brilliant, even down to the crack voice in the last "hallujah." Despite a top four finish, this early performance marked a peak in his Idol trajectory.
7. Bo Bice - "In A Dream"
Eschewing all instruments, Bo proved he could stand toe-to-toe with the dynamic Carrie Underwood on Final Three night of season 4. His long dark hair was backlit, and his firm and unwavering stance behind the mic on an a capella rendition of a Badlands track made him look like the Messiah of southern rock. It was a throwback to the nerve-racking auditions at the beginning of the show, only with the confidence that weeks of on-stage performance can bring.
6. Melinda Doolittle - "Have A Nice Day"
Season 6's Melinda had so much soul, so much of that church-bred grit. She rocked all the greats - Gladys Knight, Tina Turner, "My Funny Valentine" but never proved her versatilty like this late Bon Jovi hit. Her on-stage swagger and that soulful voice that just hits you in your gut took the attiude-laden lyrics to whole 'nother level.
5. George Huff - "Take Me To The Pilot"
On season 3's Elton John night, George Huff came out of his shell and rocked the house with this obscure cut from John's catalog. He put a gospel spin on the song, replete with a crazy bounce during the chorus and a gritty, deep vocal. He created a template of picking less familiar songs, and then making them your own.
4. Carrie Underwood - "Alone"
Many have tried to imitate the blond Oklahoman's moment of triumph in season 4, a stellar vocal performance of Heart's blazing hot ballad. The background vocalist harmonizing at the ends on the chorus is pure perfection, and Carrie proved she can sing more than just country. She may be a Nashville superstar now, but we remember the night she went to Seattle for a hot minute.
3. Blake Lewis - "You Give Love A Bad Name"
Jon Bon Jovi was nervous about the beatboxer re-interpretation of one of his bands biggest hits. Blake amped the vocal "entandres" to the max: opening with the sound of records being played, spun and scratched before enting a drum v. beatbox battle onstage. Blake won, and Jon had reason to be nervous. The song doesn't belong to him any more, not after Idol season 6.
2. David Cook - "Always Be My Baby"
What is a rock dude to do during season 7's Mariah Carey night? Pick her biggest song and turn it on it's ear. Changing the tempo, the instrumentation and the phrasing, but leaving the melody intact, created a power ballad that would rock my world, reveal David Cook as the clear winner and leave Mariah proud.
1: Fantasia - "Summertime"
On a Songs from the Movies night, most divas would pick shlocky Celine and Whitney ballads, put on some f-me pumps and belt. Single mom and eventual winner Fantasia did the opposite, picking the Gershwin classic from Porgy & Bess and socking it barefoot. Randy said it was the best performance on Idol to date, and five years later that remains true. And it's true because, as 'Tasia herself said with tears on her face, "I felt my song." This season 3 performance remains my favorite rendition of this pop standard.
So, who did I miss? And were you a witness to the legendary "Stuff Like That There"? Or were you a power voting Claymate, just dying to hear "Solitare" one more time? Tell all about it, grandpa. Tell me about the good old days...
50. Chris Sligh - Typical
Top 24 Week, Season 6 - He couldn't keep up the fire, but he broke out of the box with this Mute Math cover that was kinda hot.
49.David Cook - Eleanor Rigby
Beatles Week, Season 7 - David Cook rocks, and you'll find a lot of him on this list.
48. Katherine McPhee - Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Top Three Week, Season 5 - She could sing, and she was stunningly beautiful. But she never had a moment until this heart-tugging pick from Simon.
47. Adam Lambert - Believe
Hollywood Week, Season 8 - Glambert does Cher, acoustically. And you wonder why he's a star?
46. Mandisa - Never
Top 24 Week, Season 5 - She wanted to prove sistas could rock. Consider this case closed.
45. Allison Ireheta - Someone To Watch Over Me
Rat Pack Week, Season 8 - She needed someone to watch over her when the judges were on the prowl, but vocally she hit this out of the emotional park.
44. Brooke White - Let It Be
Lennon/McCartney Week, Season 7 - She may have false started this Beatles classic, but she still sounded fab.
43. LaToya London - Ooh Baby, Baby
Ashford & Simpson Week, Season 3 - The classiest of the Three Divas give Smokey and the gang a run for their money.
42. Anthony Federov - Incomplete
Current Billboard Hits, Season 4 - He was too late for the boyband boom, which is too bad because this Backstreet Boys single was made for him.
41. Kris Allen - Ain’t No Sunshine
Top iTunes Downloads Week, Season 8 - He plays piano, too?
40. Alexandrea Lushington - Spinning Wheel
Top 24 Week, Season 7 - Why didn't she go any further? This girl rocked my world, briefly.
39. Chris Daughtry - I Walk The Line
Country Week, Season 5 - The rocker rocks Johnny Cash, controversy ensues. But the performance kicks ass.
38. Allison Ireheta - I Can’t Make You Love Me
Songs From The Year You Were Born, Season 8 - She's way too young for the lyrics, but you couldn't tell that from the performance.
37. Carly Smithson - Blackbird
Beatles Week, Season 7 - Haunting vocals from an industry cast-off.
36. Nadia Turner - The Power Of Love
Top 20 Week, Season 4 - The Ashley Cleveland CCM hit sounded twice as soulful as ever.
35. Nathaniel Marshall - Disturbia
Hollywood Week, Season 8 - Give it up for the queer kid, he has YouTube-ready skills on the acoustic Rihanna tip.
34. Lakisha Jones - And I Am Telling You
Top 16 week, season 6 - LaKisha attempts to outshine J.Hud the same weeks she wins an Oscar, and almost succeeds.
33. Gina Glockson - Paint It Black
British Invasion week, season 6 - That rarest of Idols, the female rocker, gooses up the Stones.
32. Alexis Grace - Dirty Diana
Micheal Jackson week, season 8 - Alexis puts her pipes and stage presence to good use.
31. David Cook - Hello
80s Week, season 6 - The first look at David's skills at fresh interpretation.
30. David Archulata - "Imagine"
I wasn't a fan of season 7 runner up David, but even I have to give him props for his emotive reading of the John Lennon classic.
29. Bo Bice - "Vehicle"
Instead of Disco Week, season four gave us 70s Dance Week. Was it just so Bo could blow us away with his roaring cover of the Ides Of March hit? If so, who cares? He grabbed the mic stand and the crowd went wild.
28. Blake Lewis - "Time Of The Season"
British Invasion week of season 6 was one of the chances Blake grabbed to show off his beatboxing skills, plus a sexy new catchphrase for all the Blake-heads: "Who's your daddy?"
27. Kris Allen - "Falling Slowly"
Taking a recent Oscar winner from the film Once, Kris made his mark as the most current performer of season 8. His vocals float over a gently plucked guitar, showing he knows how to utilize his instrument more than most soft-voiced singers.
26. Syesha Mercado - "One Rock And Roll Too Many"
Syesha seemed to coast along on the "diva vote" as the only African-American female of season 7. I often (incorrectly) picked her as the one to go home, until Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber week. That week, she slinked her way through a Starlight Express number and proved why she deserved her top three place. I never heard her as a radio artist, but she will kill on Broadway.
25. Allison Ireheta & Adam Lambert - "Slow Ride"
The two most dynamic singers of season 8 rocked the house with this otherwise boring Foghat hit. The live version is killer, the way those two feed off the other's infinite energy is a treat to watch. I would watch an Allison/Adam TV variety show all day, every day.
24. Vonzell Solomon - "On The Radio"
What ever happened to Baby V? She had such promise, and while we all knew Carrie was winning season 4, I hoped for more from the Florida native. She shut the club down with her Donna Summer cover, chosen by Simon Cowell for top three week. I wish we had a market for disco singers again, Vonzell would be the queen of that scene.
23. David Cook - "Billie Jean"
On season 7's Songs From The Year You Were Born week, David Cook covered Chris Cornell's cover of Micheal Jackson's "Billie Jean" and nailed it. The original was brilliant, one the greatest pop songs of all time. But in it, I always believe MJ knows Billie Jean was not his lover, when David Cook sings it get the idea he's trying to convince himself. It becomes a new song.
22. Jordin Sparks - "I (Who Have Nothing)"
Picture this: Season 6, British Invasion Week. Sixteen-year-old Jordin has flown under the radar, Melinda and LaKisha are currently the ones to beat. What's a girl to do? Pull out an ancient Shirley Bassey torch song and blow the audience away with a voice we didn't know you had.
21. Diana DeGarmo - "Don’t Cry Out Loud"
Season 3's runner-up got a bum rap, often being referred to as a Di-Bot for her pageanty yet pitch perfect singing. But on top three night, she finally got a chance to shine, with this schmaltzy (in a good way) Melissa Manchester ballad. What, has the robot developed human emotions? RUN!
20. Matt Giraurd - "So Small"
When you cover a hit by an Idol winner, you risk a lot. Season 8's Matt had to know this, but he took this lovely Carrie Underwood single and imbued it was a layer of soulful piano. It works on multiple levels, even improving on the original.
19. Elliot Yamin feat. Mary J Blige - "One"
Elliot may have finished third in season 5, but on finale night he took the prize for best performance with a guest star. He may not have stolen the spotlight from the gorgeous Mary J, but he held his own.
18. Jennifer Hudson - "Circle Of Life"
For weeks during season 3 J.Hud had enduring the constant comparisons to LaToya and Fantasia, often pointed out as the weakest of the Three Divas. But on Elton John night, all that changed. The Lion King hit took on a gorgeous gospel tone and jump started one of the greatest post-Idol star paths.
17. David Cook - "Little Sparrow"
It was the biggest shock to me that anybody even had heard of Dolly's bluegrass album Little Sparrow, let alone that my Idol crush would perform the title track. He didn't change the gender pronouns, just the sound - making a spooky bluegrass track a slow burning rock anthem.
16. Kris Allen - "Heartless"
I started this list before the top three performances, but I rearranged it to fit one of the most unique spectacles the Idol stage has brought us. Cute as a button, with a soft, sexy voice, Kris flipped the script on his Idol path and roared with an angry, bluesy take on the autotuned Kanye hit - performed by West less than two months prior on the same stage. Balls, he's got 'em.
15. Chris Daughtry - "Hemorrhage"
Chris Daughtry brought modern rock to the stage on season 5 and this Fuel hit earned him an offer from the band to become their new lead singer. He may have only come in fourth, but managed to have one of the biggest post-Idol careers.
14. Chikeze - "She’s A Woman"
Up until Beatles week in season 7, Chikeze was a bit of a bore. Aping Luther Vandross will only get you so far, so he had to bring it or get left behind. Taking an obscure cut by the Fab Four and giving it a bluegrass opening and a southern rock back end was the ticket to a few more weeks on the show.
13. Blake Lewis, Chris Sligh, Rudy Cardenas & Tom Lowe - "How Deep Is Your Love"
During group rounds in Hollywood week, we rarely get anything but drama and showboating. But sometimes, we get magic. During season 6's Hollywood round, Blake beatboxes (natch) as the other three harmonize, creating a rare moment of genius, forty seconds I can never get out of my head.
12. Alison Ireheta - "Hot Stuff"
The females rarely get credit for rearranging songs, and no where was this more obvious in the tepid response to Alison's brilliant rock-tinged version of "Hot Stuff." I still feel uneasy at the thought of a sixteen-year-old singing such lyrics, even more so at the fact it worked so well.
11. Brooke White - "Love Is A Battlefield"
With a soft, emotive voice, Brooke didn't stand a chance of matching Pat Benatar's powerful soprano on the 80s classic. So Brooke slowed it down, doing an acoustic rendition and made it work for her.
10. Nadia Turner - "You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me"
Nadia is another one of the Idols who flared quickly, her first few weeks were blazing hot soul-rock performances. Her flame sputtered after that, but not before she gave us this chilling reading of the Dusty Springfeild classic. She wasn't a diva, but she took her soulful voice to higher levels one last time in season 4.
9. Adam Lambert - "Mad World"
In the current Idol season, no one has gotten more press than Lambert. And deservedly so, his control on this Tear For Fears single is incredible, even more so when you compare it to his more wild performances. Like David Cook, you can almost feel the switch from frontrunner to clear winner.
8. Jason Castro - "Hallujah"
With his dirty white-boy dreads and stoner-like inability to give a good interview, it could have been easy to forget Jason possessed a quietly confident vocal presence and peircing blue eyes. I could have been easy, except this cover of the Leonard Cohen classic for 80s week in season 7 was inescapably brilliant, even down to the crack voice in the last "hallujah." Despite a top four finish, this early performance marked a peak in his Idol trajectory.
7. Bo Bice - "In A Dream"
Eschewing all instruments, Bo proved he could stand toe-to-toe with the dynamic Carrie Underwood on Final Three night of season 4. His long dark hair was backlit, and his firm and unwavering stance behind the mic on an a capella rendition of a Badlands track made him look like the Messiah of southern rock. It was a throwback to the nerve-racking auditions at the beginning of the show, only with the confidence that weeks of on-stage performance can bring.
6. Melinda Doolittle - "Have A Nice Day"
Season 6's Melinda had so much soul, so much of that church-bred grit. She rocked all the greats - Gladys Knight, Tina Turner, "My Funny Valentine" but never proved her versatilty like this late Bon Jovi hit. Her on-stage swagger and that soulful voice that just hits you in your gut took the attiude-laden lyrics to whole 'nother level.
5. George Huff - "Take Me To The Pilot"
On season 3's Elton John night, George Huff came out of his shell and rocked the house with this obscure cut from John's catalog. He put a gospel spin on the song, replete with a crazy bounce during the chorus and a gritty, deep vocal. He created a template of picking less familiar songs, and then making them your own.
4. Carrie Underwood - "Alone"
Many have tried to imitate the blond Oklahoman's moment of triumph in season 4, a stellar vocal performance of Heart's blazing hot ballad. The background vocalist harmonizing at the ends on the chorus is pure perfection, and Carrie proved she can sing more than just country. She may be a Nashville superstar now, but we remember the night she went to Seattle for a hot minute.
3. Blake Lewis - "You Give Love A Bad Name"
Jon Bon Jovi was nervous about the beatboxer re-interpretation of one of his bands biggest hits. Blake amped the vocal "entandres" to the max: opening with the sound of records being played, spun and scratched before enting a drum v. beatbox battle onstage. Blake won, and Jon had reason to be nervous. The song doesn't belong to him any more, not after Idol season 6.
2. David Cook - "Always Be My Baby"
What is a rock dude to do during season 7's Mariah Carey night? Pick her biggest song and turn it on it's ear. Changing the tempo, the instrumentation and the phrasing, but leaving the melody intact, created a power ballad that would rock my world, reveal David Cook as the clear winner and leave Mariah proud.
1: Fantasia - "Summertime"
On a Songs from the Movies night, most divas would pick shlocky Celine and Whitney ballads, put on some f-me pumps and belt. Single mom and eventual winner Fantasia did the opposite, picking the Gershwin classic from Porgy & Bess and socking it barefoot. Randy said it was the best performance on Idol to date, and five years later that remains true. And it's true because, as 'Tasia herself said with tears on her face, "I felt my song." This season 3 performance remains my favorite rendition of this pop standard.
So, who did I miss? And were you a witness to the legendary "Stuff Like That There"? Or were you a power voting Claymate, just dying to hear "Solitare" one more time? Tell all about it, grandpa. Tell me about the good old days...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Ten Days Of Idol Insanity: Every Year, There Is A Hottie. Or Four...
Since the dawn of time, looks and sex appeal have impacted important decisions. Beauty and talent have become intertwined even more with the dawn of television. Obvious examples include that C&C Music Factory video where the heavier singer was replaced with a thin model and the marked difference between reactions of TV viewers and radio listeners in the Nixon/Kennedy debates.
In the world of American Idol, beauty is a double edged sword. While sex appeal alway sells, unless you have a lot of talent to go with it you get knock with Paula's kiss of death: a critique that starts with "First, let me say you look lovely tonight." It a little sexist, there have been two male winners (Reuben Studdard and Taylor Hicks) who are not even close to GQ model levels and a third who I think is ten kinds of sexy, but not conventionally boy-band gorgous (David Cook.) But all of the female winners have been stunners. Either thin and dynamic (Fantasia) pretty and perky (Jordin Sparks) thin, pretty and cool (Carrie Underwood) or with a great ass that lesbians and straight men love (Kelly Clarkson) - the looks are a variation on girl next door to the sexiest power. Plus, they all have killer pipes. Don't ask me to explain why it was OK for Simon to dis Mandisa for her weight, yet Reuben was praised as The Velvet Teddybear. In fact, pretty boys like Kris Allen and Anthony Federov got dissed more that the pretty girls do. I can't explain it. All I know is that it's not something that the industry will change, because it still works.
Now that I got that out of my system, I'm ready to start posting pictures of hot people. Being equal opportunity people here at Pictures And Conversations, we'll show you both the boys and the girls that get the blood pumping.
First, let's talk about my personal favorites each year I've watched the show. Only one per year, kids. Mama's not a slut...
In the world of American Idol, beauty is a double edged sword. While sex appeal alway sells, unless you have a lot of talent to go with it you get knock with Paula's kiss of death: a critique that starts with "First, let me say you look lovely tonight." It a little sexist, there have been two male winners (Reuben Studdard and Taylor Hicks) who are not even close to GQ model levels and a third who I think is ten kinds of sexy, but not conventionally boy-band gorgous (David Cook.) But all of the female winners have been stunners. Either thin and dynamic (Fantasia) pretty and perky (Jordin Sparks) thin, pretty and cool (Carrie Underwood) or with a great ass that lesbians and straight men love (Kelly Clarkson) - the looks are a variation on girl next door to the sexiest power. Plus, they all have killer pipes. Don't ask me to explain why it was OK for Simon to dis Mandisa for her weight, yet Reuben was praised as The Velvet Teddybear. In fact, pretty boys like Kris Allen and Anthony Federov got dissed more that the pretty girls do. I can't explain it. All I know is that it's not something that the industry will change, because it still works.
Now that I got that out of my system, I'm ready to start posting pictures of hot people. Being equal opportunity people here at Pictures And Conversations, we'll show you both the boys and the girls that get the blood pumping.
First, let's talk about my personal favorites each year I've watched the show. Only one per year, kids. Mama's not a slut...
I started watching American Idol during season three, the year Fantasia, Jennifer Hudson and LaToya London put the nation on notice that divas were doing it for themselves. The entire top four was female, after J.Hud's shock elimination that left Fantastia, Latoya, Diana DeGarmo and Jasmina Trias. So, were there any dudes on that year? Yeah, footballer Matt Rogers, gospel man George Huff and redheaded crooner John Stevens all brought the musky stuff. But it was John Peter Lewis that turned me into a pervy hobbit fancier. I mean, he hit all my hottie buttons - goofy, geeky, short and a crazy white-boy dancer. The only song I remember from him was "Little Less Conversation" but it was a doozy. He danced his way into me heart and became my first Idol crush.
The next year, I tried to keep a rein on my hormones. There were a lot of talented ladies to keep my eyes on, Nadia Turner was my favorite that season. But Carrie was really good and Vonzell just tore shit up. I wonder what happened to her? But even the constant eye-fucking from Constinine M. and ass-hatty mugging of Scott Savol could distract me from the beauty of Anthony Federov. Yeah, Bo Bice was a better singer, but Bo was a grubby southern rocker and AFed was my boy bander that showed up a couple years too late to jump on the O-Town train. At first I was turned off by the tracheotomy scar, which is shallow. I discovered that he was a thing of beauty, his glasses came off and he was Rachel Leigh Cook in She's All That, only with a dick. At least, I hope he had a dick. In my dreams, he did...
Then there was DAUGHTRY. His broad shoulders and meaty arms and sexy bald head and bad boy with a heart of gold attitude. He's almost generically pretty, like someone took every AfterElton poll and Abercrombie ad and dumped them into a computer and said: "make a sexy singer man who looks like THIS." The computer spit out Chris Daughtry, and I've been thanking it ever since. His voice and stage presence were undeniable, and his lips were soft and kissable.
Season six, the year Blake Lewis stole my heart and never gave it back. Chris Richards was cute, but I didn't need another Justin Timberlake, I needed a TimberBlake. Blake had that cool style I wanted to emulate and that smile that promised he knew what was doing to you, and he knew you liked it. Plus, he was awash in talent. He could sing, he possessed a really soft, tender voice. And he could beatbox, everybody knew that. And when he re-arrange that Bon Jovi song, it was like he gave us everything we wanted. It was way too much, we bit off more than we could swallow. But we wanted to swallow it, anyway. I wanted to swallow whatever Blake gave me. I bought his album, the first time I ever bought an Idol's entire album. (Kelly doesn't count, that was a gift.) I bought the MP3 of "You Give Love A Bad Name" - another first. I read some fucking fan fiction about him and Chris and their moist, delicious Cake and was so overwhelmed with emotion, I almost cried at end. It was weird, I probably should be discussing that with my therapist. But just look at that hair!
Last year, you guys were with me during my Idol journey of love, lust and David Cook. I called him my beloved Cookie, I drove 40 minutes to pick up tickets to see him live and weeks later I returned and stood in line for an hour with a million cougars before the show started. I didn't care, his warm voice embraced me, and his genuine smile lit up my loins. You know how rare a real smile is on a celebrity? They always look like the have some kind of smiling disease, like they had to be retrained to smile properly and some one didn't do it right. Not with David. His smiles are like an O-face, totally spontaneous and totally scary and totally hot. Most important is his love for his family, it is the hottest thing about him. When he cried after "Always Be My Baby" because his terminally ill brother was in the audience, I wanted to just wrap him in my arms and kiss his pain away.
This year was the hardest, I mean that in every way possible. For the first time, every top 10 guy had a HOT factor. Anoop had that cool nerd vibe, Micheal had that hardworking country boy thing, Lambert has the outsized personality (and fashion style and hair), Gokey is all sexy choir boy, Jorge had his accent and Matty G was Justin Timberlake again. But Kris Allen, the super-sexy boy next door with his understated charm and perfect bone structure, crept into my heart and made a nest there. I just want to kiss him on the nose, and stroke his cheek and generally be a silly girl around him so he'll wrap his arms around my tiny frame from behind and pick me up so my legs flail in the air. (It's a fantasy sequence, K?) He's what they call "man-pretty."
But there are a zillion hotties every season of Idol. So let's celebrate some of them, shall we?
The Original Idol - Kelly Clarkson
Season 5 Runner Up - Katherine McPhee
Season Six Winner - Jordin Sparks
Season Four Contestant - Anwar Robinson
Season Seven Second Runner Up - Syesha Mercado
Season Eight Winner (?) - Adam Lambert
Season Five Contestant - Ace Young
Season Three Contestant - Jasmine Trias
Ten Days Of Idol Insanity: Canadian Idol Theo Tams Is Hot & Out!
The Idol shows are a world-wide phenomenom, over twenty-five countries/regions have their own variation on the original UK Pop Idol show, which itself only lasted two seasons. Canada has it's own version, and the most recent winner is Theo Tams. He's a real cutie, and his personal story just screams "Oprah special episode." He came out on the show, something no American Idol has ever done.
The first single from his debut album is called "Lazy Lovers" and it has a very cool Howie Day kinda poppy singer/songwriter vibe. He plays the piano in the video, which is so very hot. The video also features various family/couple units in rain-drenched taxis, including a super cute gay couple. Yay, visability! Watch below:
The first single from his debut album is called "Lazy Lovers" and it has a very cool Howie Day kinda poppy singer/songwriter vibe. He plays the piano in the video, which is so very hot. The video also features various family/couple units in rain-drenched taxis, including a super cute gay couple. Yay, visability! Watch below:
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Idol Recap: Hot Three Way Action
I'm giggling at my own post title. This does not bode well. I think an Adam/Danny finale is no longer guaranteed, Kris really came out swinging last night. Let's see how my Final Three Future Boyfriends did last night.
Danny opened the show with Paula's pick for him, the minor Terence Trent D'Arby hit "Dance, Little Sister." Like I mentioned in yesterday's post, I had never heard the song and neither had Danny. He sang it well, he sounded very much like TTD did on that jam. I actually didn't mind the dancing this time, but his face wore a look of disinterest at the beginning. It bored me a little, but I didn't hate it as much as usual.
Kris Allen was asked to make "Apologize" his own. Kara was a total bitch about the fact he didn't change it up, she wanted him to sit on stage with a guitar and sing it. The thing is, "Apologize" is already one of the greatest pop records of the last ten years, and it's too slow to slow it down even more with an acoustic version. I think he did add a layer of emotion to it, with his vocals and the fact he played almost the whole thing with his eyes closed. And the baby grand was a nice nod to the great piano performances we saw these last two seasons.
Also performing with a baby grand, although not playing it himself, was Adam Lambert. Simon chose U2's most glorious songs, "One" for Adam to work his magic on. And the magically thing about Adam's voice is that he can use it for both showboating and glory notes, but also uses his range and falsetto to really display an emotion. I think it may go back to his theatre roots, but he really knows how to combine stage presence and vocals to connect with the audience. He's a diva, but he has a heart.
After wasting time with a Carrie-goes-to-Africa segment, which should have been saved for the results show, we get back to the music. The contestants each chose a song themselves, starting back with Danny.
I can't believe I'm writing this. I actually thought Danny's "You Are So Beautiful" was really pretty, really sweet and really underplayed. He didn't try to glory note it too much, and he avoid the obvious sentimentality for the most part. If his back story hadn't sat so uneasily with me, I probably could have loved this. But knowing this song was all about his late wife, I couldn't. And I hate myself for it. I should have empathy, he lost the woman he loved. But going on a reality show a couple of weeks later just smacks of opportunism. Ugh, why you gotta make it so hard for me to hate or love you?
Here it is. The moment I realized that I couldn't predict the final two. Kris Allen tells Ryan that his pick was easy, he was doing "Heartless" by Kanye West. WHAT THE FUCK? I was certain it would either be awesomeness (like Nathaniel's "Disturbia" during Hollywood week, or Marie Digby's "Umbrella") or a train wreck. It was the complete opposite of derailed locomotives, and completely opposite of what Danny and Adam would do in the second half of the show. It was fresh, opening with an A Capella vocal and leading to a completely acoustic guitar mix. He looked so angry, so connected to the song. A lot of guitar playing teens put acoustic covers on YouTube, that part isn't that special. But to actually sell the song, make it sound like an angry blues song? That takes charisma. And for the first time, I think all three are in danger of going home tonight.
Adam, please tell me you are going to bring it, give the people a reason to keep picking up the phone and voting. OK, Areosmith. As the only Idol contestant who I would trust with Steven Tyler & Co.'s back catalog, do not disappoint me. "Cryin'" is a good choice, and you are going to do it as written? No crazy arrangements, no over the top theatrics? OK, let's see... Damn, you sang it straight and still rocked the house. I have to say, Adam, you are in a class with Steven Tyler and Axl Rose, very few men have the same level of charisma AND vocal range. You so rock.
So, who are the final two? All three dudes gave compelling reasons to vote for them, even Danny didn't suck this week. BUT NEVER FORGET "DREAM ON" PEOPLE! PUT THE GO IN GOKEY! VOTE GLAMBERT! Sorry, but a Kris/Danny finale is something I will not stand for. I voted a zillion times for the Glam One, and threw a couple in for Kris. PUT THE GO IN GOKEY!
Danny opened the show with Paula's pick for him, the minor Terence Trent D'Arby hit "Dance, Little Sister." Like I mentioned in yesterday's post, I had never heard the song and neither had Danny. He sang it well, he sounded very much like TTD did on that jam. I actually didn't mind the dancing this time, but his face wore a look of disinterest at the beginning. It bored me a little, but I didn't hate it as much as usual.
Kris Allen was asked to make "Apologize" his own. Kara was a total bitch about the fact he didn't change it up, she wanted him to sit on stage with a guitar and sing it. The thing is, "Apologize" is already one of the greatest pop records of the last ten years, and it's too slow to slow it down even more with an acoustic version. I think he did add a layer of emotion to it, with his vocals and the fact he played almost the whole thing with his eyes closed. And the baby grand was a nice nod to the great piano performances we saw these last two seasons.
Also performing with a baby grand, although not playing it himself, was Adam Lambert. Simon chose U2's most glorious songs, "One" for Adam to work his magic on. And the magically thing about Adam's voice is that he can use it for both showboating and glory notes, but also uses his range and falsetto to really display an emotion. I think it may go back to his theatre roots, but he really knows how to combine stage presence and vocals to connect with the audience. He's a diva, but he has a heart.
After wasting time with a Carrie-goes-to-Africa segment, which should have been saved for the results show, we get back to the music. The contestants each chose a song themselves, starting back with Danny.
I can't believe I'm writing this. I actually thought Danny's "You Are So Beautiful" was really pretty, really sweet and really underplayed. He didn't try to glory note it too much, and he avoid the obvious sentimentality for the most part. If his back story hadn't sat so uneasily with me, I probably could have loved this. But knowing this song was all about his late wife, I couldn't. And I hate myself for it. I should have empathy, he lost the woman he loved. But going on a reality show a couple of weeks later just smacks of opportunism. Ugh, why you gotta make it so hard for me to hate or love you?
Here it is. The moment I realized that I couldn't predict the final two. Kris Allen tells Ryan that his pick was easy, he was doing "Heartless" by Kanye West. WHAT THE FUCK? I was certain it would either be awesomeness (like Nathaniel's "Disturbia" during Hollywood week, or Marie Digby's "Umbrella") or a train wreck. It was the complete opposite of derailed locomotives, and completely opposite of what Danny and Adam would do in the second half of the show. It was fresh, opening with an A Capella vocal and leading to a completely acoustic guitar mix. He looked so angry, so connected to the song. A lot of guitar playing teens put acoustic covers on YouTube, that part isn't that special. But to actually sell the song, make it sound like an angry blues song? That takes charisma. And for the first time, I think all three are in danger of going home tonight.
Adam, please tell me you are going to bring it, give the people a reason to keep picking up the phone and voting. OK, Areosmith. As the only Idol contestant who I would trust with Steven Tyler & Co.'s back catalog, do not disappoint me. "Cryin'" is a good choice, and you are going to do it as written? No crazy arrangements, no over the top theatrics? OK, let's see... Damn, you sang it straight and still rocked the house. I have to say, Adam, you are in a class with Steven Tyler and Axl Rose, very few men have the same level of charisma AND vocal range. You so rock.
So, who are the final two? All three dudes gave compelling reasons to vote for them, even Danny didn't suck this week. BUT NEVER FORGET "DREAM ON" PEOPLE! PUT THE GO IN GOKEY! VOTE GLAMBERT! Sorry, but a Kris/Danny finale is something I will not stand for. I voted a zillion times for the Glam One, and threw a couple in for Kris. PUT THE GO IN GOKEY!
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